


Love's Cycle 2

by kafreses



Series: Love's Cycle [2]
Category: Glee, klaine - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-12 01:22:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 156,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11726586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kafreses/pseuds/kafreses
Summary: Snared by a love they could not fathom at such a young age, two boys encounter the unexpected—distance. One lives in Lima and the other in New York. The images of a curving stairway and entwined fingers may not be enough now that they have split up.Please note: This story literally splits chapter 11 of Love Cycles in two. I have inserted a marker in chapter 11 to note where the split occurs.





	1. Regrets and Pain

Three days later Blaine got up the nerve to call New York. No answer. Two hours after that he tried again. Still no answer. Text message came back as blocked. Shit, he had really done it. Releasing the stale air coincided with a tear rolling down his cheeks. The pounding in his ears deafened and the thumping in his chest hurt like hell. Curling up on the bed he folded his knees up to his chest and cried.

The distraught teen literally jumped out of his skin when his phone rang. Fumbling with the pillow he had been hugging he reached and knows the device to the floor. Rolling close to the edge he reached down and froze—Cooper. The heart instantly splashed into the pit of his stomach. Soldiering on the proved difficult. Ups and downs filled his days. Thankfully his sometimes irritating brother took an interest in a tattered heart. 

When the answering service clicked in Blaine’s head crashed against the edge of the bed with a loud groan. Grabbing the pillow he hauled up to his chest and squeezed tight. 

The phone rang again and again. It went ignored. Crawling up toward the headboard Blaine pulled the pillow up over his head covering his ears. He did not want to do this. Everything will work. Who did he kid, nothing went right. The chest pulled tight with regret but not because of Cooper. He desperately wanted it to be someone else.

The fifth time proved lucky for his brother because Blaine just gave up trying to be stubborn. In his usual selfish manner Cooper tormented Blaine trying to make him mad. When it finally happened the younger Anderson boy blew his cool big-time. His father came up and told him to keep it down. Blaine told his dad to fuck off. That’s when Cooper laughed on the other end of the phone. Mortified, Blaine stared at his dad who slammed the door when he left. Only then did Blaine chuckle. Together the brothers joked with each other and in the end Blaine understood Cooper had his best interests at heart.

Unfortunately, rising spirits usually held for a short moment before reality struck. Alone with his thoughts and desires the upheaval continued. On top of everything it had become clear an open rift had erupted between man and wife. Daniel became more an ass and not only to his son. Pam supported her youngest who often heard yelling and the heavy closing of doors. It only drove a saddened heart further into the swamp. The world became dark and his moods more erratic. 

School went by in a blur. His friends gave him platitudes, well, except Sam. The blond became a shadow, so to speak. It proved hard for the pouty blond to keep Blaine above water with stupid impressions and jokes but he earnestly tried. Now and then Blaine laughed and even kidded back. Then they would walk by something and it all washed away like old dishwater. 

A call for Santana started well but soon degenerated into a mess. Thank god Sam sat nearby to save Blaine from going off the deep end. To be honest, she had phoned in all innocence to see how Blaine held up. Sam had to take the phone from Blaine because Kurt’s voice suddenly sounded off in the background. He obviously just got home. Blaine made demands which Santana tried to avoid. The night became wash of tears.

Sitting in a chair in the music room made Blaine melancholy. Songs easily brought tears to his eyes. Concerned Mr. Schuester arranged for Blaine to meet regular with Ms. Pillsbury. Blaine thought little of those sessions. Talking to Cooper became the best medicine. The older brother understood his siblings deep despair. One evening Cooper admitted he ran off to Las Angels to get away from the family dynamic. Again, he offered his younger brother a place on his couch. Blaine knew running would settle nothing.

Grease came and went. Though Blaine trooped through it like a professional, he almost lost it onstage. Rachel proved polite but Kurt, understandably, got angry. He would not even allow Blaine to express himself before storming off. It shattered and already cracked heart. Kurt’s dismissal of everything seemed overly harsh but also so real. 

Seeing those sweet blue eyes and the hurt in them brought it all crashing down for Blaine. The fire had died and only a storm remained. Pam rocked her sobbing son to sleep while his dad nursed his fourth double in the living room. Blaine wailed about never wanting to go onstage again and his mother, as all mothers would, listened and waited. Curling up beside him as she had a decade before she brushed the mounds of hair from his forehead. Resting her hand over his heart she told her distraught son never to give up on his dreams. Blaine had talent and a kind soul. At that moment Blaine knew he had to be strong.

One rainy day Blaine walked through the mall doing an errand for his mother. The escape pleased him because even his bedroom constantly reminded him of lost love. Some of the lovely man’s cloths still hung in the closet and a picture sat beside the bed where it had been since they first made it official. Now and then he would go to the closet just to sniff one of Kurt’s sweaters. He considered getting rid of them but then he could not. 

“Blaine?” a voice called from behind.

Lost in thought, Blaine slowly turned to find Carole standing there with a hint of concern etching lines into her face. Seeing Kurt’s stepmother dredged up all sorts of feelings many feelings Blaine hand not expected. Drawing in a shaky breath he knew Burt and Carole must be upset themselves. What had Kurt told them? Did they swear when he heard Blaine’s name? Burt would know. Father and son would forever be close. 

The boy’s heart sank as his eyes went down to his shoes. Part of him wanted to run but he could not be rude to Carole. Regardless of the circumstance he liked Burt and Carole. They had taken him into the family in so many ways and even assisted his mother when she needed a shoulder to cry on. 

“Oh,” Carole said in a soft and gentle tone laced with sadness. “I’ll leave you, dear.”

Shaking his head, Blaine pulled gathered his nerve and sighed. “No, it’s good.”

“Really?” A painful shadow caressed Carole’s eyes.

Her expression pulled on Blaine’s already fragile emotions. Biting his lips he replied, “Yes . . . well, no. My squabbles have nothing to do with you or Burt.”

“But they are Blaine. Kurt’s my step-son,” Carole bluntly stated.

The heart in a young man’s chest banged into his ribs. Colour drained from his face.

Shoulders sagging, she compassionately asked, “Would you like a coffee?”

Swallowing hard, Blaine grinned. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” The answer came immediately and decisively. 

Hesitating, Blaine managed to give Carole a charming grin. “Then, I would love one.”

Nodding, Carole led Blaine down the wide, covered mall to one of the chain coffee houses. Neither said a word until Carole insisted on paying. Standing in line proved awkward. Images of Kurt in the Limabean bounced within Blaine’s head. Choking back a would-be sob he fought to retain his composure in front of Carole. 

Turning away from the counter, Carole handed Blaine a ceramic mug. Steering the teen toward a secluded table off in a corner she asked, “How are you holding up, dear?” 

The words bumbled through Blaine’s and he almost stumbled. She kept calling him dear. Considering all that had happened, it boggled the mind.

“Blaine?” Carole slowed and looked back  
.  
“I’m alright, thank you, Mrs. Hummel.” Blaine sped up but inside he frantically wanted to get the hell out of there. Sweat rolled down his back and he found it easier to breathe in short bursts.

“Mrs.?” Carole’s face contorted. 

Feeling ashamed, Blaine winced. “Sorry, Carole.”

“I can understand how hard this is on you Blaine.” Carole pulled out a chair for him. The table she selected had a view of the entrance but sat against the wall. “Sit and tell me how you’re really doing?”

“Honestly, I’m fine.” Blaine sat down a little bit suddenly. He sipped his coffee to hide his look. He found it hot.

Carole smiled as only a knowing mother could. “Blaine, it’s brave of you to try but I know better.”

A sigh escaped the boy’s lips and he looked down at the steam rising from his mug. Emotion bellowed up within his chest he could not stop himself from sniffling. Without looking at Carole he said in an almost silent voice, “Okay . . . I’m miserable.”

“Blaine?” Her hand fell on the boy’s forearm. 

Glancing up a tear rolled down his cheek. Blaine choked on his breathe and admitted, “God’s Carole, I fucked it all up.” 

Carole’s brows pressed together as she pushed the plate with the cookies on it across the table. Thick white icing covered the big round morsels.

Lips curling in and Blaine suddenly deflated. “Kurt loved these.”

“He still does.” Carole did not look apologetic.

“But not if I took him one.”

“Blaine, listen to me. I do not know what happened between you two but let’s just say you’re not the only one that’s hurting.”

“Carole, I . . .”

“No, Blaine. It’s not all you. My son is learning a hard lesson right now that I hope will cause him to swallow his pride.”

“He did nothing.”

“Are you claiming he is perfectly innocent in all this?”

Biting his tongue, Blaine stared at Carole. He had not truthfully considered that. The guilt had all been his but with topic broached a marinade of complaints bubbled up. All those missed or dropped calls and his indifference during their skype sessions echoed in Blaine’s head compounding distraught sentiment. Lost in his own sorrows he had forgotten what had driven him to fail the most important test in his short life.

“Blaine, it takes two to make a mess.” Carole added. “I’ve been around a lot longer than you. As you age will learn to settle your differences and compromise. You two are stubborn but it does not mean you can’t be in love.”

Low and painful emotions resonated through Blaine’s chest and into his limbs. The throat constricted and water pushed out from behind his eyes. 

“Dear,” Carole leaned forward and placed a hand softly on Blaine’s. “Blaine, just do me a favour.”

Blaine gave her his full attention even though it proved hard. “I’ll try.”

“Learn from your mistakes.’

“But I hurt him.”

“He neglected you?”

“What?”

“Kurt will be pissed at me it he found out I talked to you but I don’t care.” Carole sighed and leaned back. Her face hardened. “Blaine, I saw him three days ago. He’s being a jerk. He’s become caught up in the hype and gossip. He’s ignored his father and myself ever since he went to New York. He hung up on Burt with some flimsy excuse, so I can only assume he hung up on you. I went there to give his inflated head a shake out.”

Blaine gulped his coffee. He had not expected Carole to be so forthcoming. Her tone told Blaine the visit had not been a good one.

“That boy needs to grow up admit he mi . . .” Carole suddenly cut herself off and shook her head.

A dropped word. Two letters. Blaine blinked. “He . . . misses me?”

Carole’s face drooped. “Honestly, Blaine we did not talk about you . . . too much.”

Blaine pouted.

Patting the teen’s hand she said, “He’s human and he hurts but he . . .”

“What?” Blaine leaned forward. Desperation laced his husky tone.

Biting her lip, Carole looked uncomfortable. “Blaine, please, do not read too much into this . . . I can see it in his eyes . . . he’s still in love with you.”

The teens jaw dropped. Brown eyes with sparkling amber highlights held Carole’s gaze. He still loved him? Unbelievable.

“Blaine?” Carole patted his hand. “The two of you hit a pothole. Just give him and yourself time.”

The boy sighed. Downing his coffee Blaine’s eyes misted over. “It hurts so much.”

“I know dear.” Carole looked distant. “I know.”


	2. Costumes

“Come on Blaine, it’ll be fun,” Tina pleaded. She sat at the cafeteria table with good portion of the Glee gang. Dressed in green and blue she looked every part a woman. The sandwich on her plate had been half eaten and now she picked at her fries.

They had been hounding him for half an hour now. He just did not want to do it. Blaine moaned, “I don’t know.”

Artie looked across the table at the heartbroken teen. The plate before him had a hardy helping of fries and a sandwich. “It’ll be fun.”

“We’ve been to Bumpers lots.” Sam gave Blaine a puppy dog look. “You’ve always enjoyed yourself.”

“But . . . he . . .” Blaine choked on his words. The dark red and black bowtie set against a black shirt and blue sweeter fit his mood. Last night he did not sleep well. Cooper called and now he had no doubt his parents slowly spiralled toward a word which pulled on too many heartstrings—divorce.

“You have to start living at some point,” Artie waved a speared tomato at Blaine.

Kitty sat back pushing her salad from one side of the plate to the other. “A night of fun is what we . . . you need.”

“Mercedes might even be in town.” Artie popped the tomato in his mouth giving Blaine a determined look.

“Look, bro,” Sam placed a hand on Blaine’s forearm. He sat beside the forlorn friend.

Tina injected with a grin. “It’s a Saturday night pre-Halloween blast.”

“No school the next day or parents saying you have to be in bed by whatever time.” Kitty’s eyebrows mischievously pushed up.

“It will be a fun night to blow off steam.” Artie bounced about in his wheelchair.

“I was thinking of going all punked out,” Tina injected before popping a fry in her mouth.

“Figgins still cringes,” Brittany chimed in as she stuffed part of hotdog in her face. Sitting close to Artie she daydreamed as usual.

Tina rolled her eyes at Brittany and the said, “I’ll figure something out.”

“Look Blaine,” Sam besought. Reaching up his pulled at the hoodie pulling up over his head and made a gangster like impression. “We’ll be going as a group of hoods.”

Chuckling, Blaine shook his head. “I don’t know guys. There’s memories there.”

Looking up from the end of the table where text book lay open, Marley wore a bright red dress and a light yellow sweeter. Normally quiet, she broke her silence, “Well make new ones.”

“Yeah.” Tina sounded excited. “We can dance all night and stop at Breadstix on the way home.”

Artie pushed his chair back ever so slightly. “Now doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“Will you at least think about it, bro?” Sam pouted with those green eyes.

A shiver ran up Blaine’s back with the look. Sam had that effect on him. Knowing all too well the whole idea had been Sam’s made the sensation worse. Ever since he made his attempted escape back to Dalton, Sam and Tina became his greatest pillars. Disruptive emotions played on him. When something distracted him Blaine felt almost normal but it got worse in an empty space. Walking in the park made him downhearted and he tried his best to avoid the hall where Kurt’s locker had been located. Strong memories nawed at him and then he would see Sam.

Staring up at the dear man beside him, old Blaine sighed. Long ago he thought he would never see those lovely blue eyes again. This time he definitely knew. A few minutes ago the life drained from the many he loved and for some reason he felt content. Remembering made a time-worn man feel warm down to the bottom of his feet.

Back in his youth his friends tried and his older self could not stop himself from smiling. After all the years an elderly award winner still missed them, especially Sam. The country crooner lived his life in Ohio outside Lima on a farm, of sorts, until a few years before his death. In the end those long blond locks had been traded for a shiny bald head but he still tried to be the clown. Nearly seven hundred people showed up for his funeral including many members of the New Directions. It turned out to be great party with a room filed with lawyers, dancers, tony award winners, those who had worked in large box stores or tiny coffee shops and who knows what. Blaine and Kurt had not seen many since high school. Five years later a new school hung Sam’s name over the door.

Gently kissing the hand of the man he had loved all his life, Blaine smiled. Half his face curled and then his expression which always excited Kurt. Something stirred in his midsection and then Blaine gasped as a suddenly bolt of pain raced down his left arm causing his fingers to tingle. This throat constricting the heat in his chest made it hard to breath. Fortunately, short breaths negated the discomfort away.

Laying his hand on a wrinkled skin, Blaine rested. The shooting pains subsided allowing him to draw a gulp of air into his lungs. Thank god, he had more time to remember. Smiling, he recalled lying on the bed with Kurt across from him with the twins curled up between them sleeping. The look on Kurt’s face when his younger self-admitted to having a crush on Sam. Kurt laughed and confessed to similar feelings when he first met the pouty blond. Aged Blaine snickered at the fact, back then, he felt jealous.

The last time an older married couple saw Sam, the formally blond man, tried to talk Blaine into doing some foolhardy thing. Over the years the two talked every week and it all started back in those bleak days of Blaine’s first separation from Kurt. At some point Rachel fell out of favour but Sam never did, at least in Blaine’s eyes. Kurt had issues with him from time to time.

“You can’t keep mopping around like this forever,” Artie bluntly pointed out. “Get out there and jump back into the saddle.”

“Maybe I don’t want to get back in the saddle. I’m just a one horse man.” Blaine looked down at his burger. He had barely touched it. Ever since the breakup he had been eating all the wrong things. The fries had all but disappeared with two coffees. Elbow on the table, he leaned his head onto his fingers.

 

Sam placed a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “Right, I’ll sacrifice my reputation and go with you to Scandals so we can get you laid.”

Gapping at the suggestion, Blaine’s head came up, “I’m flattered you’re willing to give up your virginity for me but I don’t think I that is going to help.”

Brittany chuckled. “I didn’t know you could get that back?”

Tina virtually almost spat it everywhere. Marley looked confused along with Brittany. Artie laughed.

Aghast, Sam stared at the quirky blond and then his face suddenly went beat red. Blaine giggled even though his heart painfully pounded. Dear, sweet, sometimes clumsy Sam.

Everyone laughed though Brittany obviously did not understand. The lightened mood helped Blaine pulled himself out of his earlier and still resonating quagmire. Sam found Blaine an hour ago leaning up against his locker with his phone in his hands. A finger scrolled down the screen as he looked at haunting pictures from the past. Kurt and him at the prom. Kurt and him at the park. Kurt . . . Kurt . . . and still more Kurt. At first the finger hovered over the delete button and then the pain in his chest stopped him. The sight of Kurt’s smile and the look of his eyes still made Blaine’s knees go weak. Deleting that handsome face would do would only make him feel guiltier.

Beaming at her friend a soft but wicked smile, Tina twirled a fry in her fingers. “What do you say, Blainie Days?”

Shaking his head, Blaine looked at his friends, “I . . .”

“Blaine,” Brittany’s head moved from side to side. “I can get you Lord Tubbington's pills for feline depression.”

The expression on Blaine’s face changed.

Sam butted in saying, “I don’t think he needs those?”

Looking innocent Brittany glanced at Sam. “I’ve been sitting here since second period and the smell of spaghetti and meatballs is nice.”

Several people at the table looked confused.

Shaking his head Blaine commented, “Brittany?”

Cocking her head to one side, the Brittany’s eyes rolled down so she looked at the table-top. “Blaine, think of life as the smell of spaghetti and meatballs. It lasts as long as the wind keeps it there. Enjoy it when you can.”

Everyone looked at the blond and then Blaine smiled. “Brittany, I don’t understand you half the time but you’re so great.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Brittany shook her body and then went back to her lunch and popped a lettuce leaf in her month.

Turning his head so he looked at Blaine, Sam looked puzzled. “Okay, something happened there I do not understand.”

Rolling her eyes, Marley softly said to Blaine. “I think I know what I’ll wear.”

“We can all go as our favourite animi animal characters,” Brittany interrupted. Her nose wrinkled up as she pushed a cucumber aside.

Many around the table said nothing but their eyes spoke volumes.

As the week rolled toward its end Blaine still had not made up his mind if he would go to this party. Brittany seemed to go overboard with ideas but when she suggest unicorns Blaine broke down. In all innocence Brittany had not understanding what she did. Kurt had one of those unicorn posters in his bedroom back at his father’s place. It hung on the back of his closet.

His dad barely talked to him now and that pleased Blaine just fine. At the moment he did not need to hear his father’s condescending words. Unfortunately, Blaine lost his temper that night after his father gave Pam a bad time about dinner. It set the mood for the rest of the night. The next day Daniel came home and apologized to Pam. The sentiment shocked Blaine.

Things a home eased afterward. While it did not return to normal, his parents no longer argued. A stagnant but tense sense of calm descended on the house. Peace on one front gave Blaine a reprieve and he actually had a civilized conversation with his father about school matters. Daniel still did not want to hear anything about Kurt.

Walking home after-school one day, the clouds inside Blaine’s head thickened. Without realising it he stood in front of the Gap. Staring into the window he thought he saw someone he once lusted after. A smile stretched his lips and then turned down into a frown. Turning around he gazed at a bench. Kurt once sat there wrapped in a scarf and wearing a fall coat. Biting his lower lip, Blaine slowly backed up and bumped into someone. Turning about prepared to sprout apologies he stopped cold in his tracks.

“Hi Blaine?” the young man said.

Blaine looked shocked. “Finn?”

“Sorry, if I scared you.” The taller young man grinned.

“No . . . no . . .” Blaine fumbled on his words.

Here stood Kurt’s brother through marriage and, and like Carole last week, it conjured up a menagerie of sensations. Finn and Blaine had not always seen eye to eye but they had both suffered. He and Rachel hit the skids for more or less the same reason—New York. When Kurt left Finn declared his support for Blaine. In his present state just having the jock here became a huge release.

Without permission Finn drew Blaine into hug. The teen with gelled down hair resisted for a moment and then just leaned into the bigger man. Strong arms enveloped the smaller man and for the first time in weeks Blaine actually felt safe. They held each other for a moment sharing deeply related emotions.

Finally Finn put a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. He looked embarrassed. “Let’s get a coffee.”

“Okay.” Blaine nodded as his pinched his waist through his jacket. He had been spending too much time in coffee shops over the past weeks and it showed.

Neither spoke as they walked around the corner in the opposite direction of the Limabean. Memories lay beyond its threshold neither wanted to face. Holding the door open for Blaine the smell of freshly ground coffee hit both in the face. Fairly empty, something top forty played over the music system. Four people stood in line and three others sat here and there. Two workers manned the counter while a third mopped the floor talking to a red-headed fellow. They laughed.

Falling into the end of the line, Finn drew in a breath and glanced at Blaine. “How are you?”

Tugging the scarf out from inside his coat Blaine responded, “It’s been uncomfortable.”

“I can relate.” Finn glanced back over his shoulder and sighed.

“What are you doing here, Finn?”

“Was just walking down the street.”

“And.”

“Well, I saw you.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah,” Finn deflated. “Okay, he called me. He’s worried.”

“I know.” Blaine bowed his head.

The queue moved and Finn eyed up the deserts. “He’s a good friend and he thought talking to me might help.”

“He and Tina have been my rock.” Turning to the attendant Kurt gave his order.

Stepping aside to wait, Finn glanced away and sighed. “Blaine, I went to New York last weekend to speak to Rachel. It was good and bad.”

Mouth dropping, Blaine stared for a moment. “And Kurt?”

“He avoided me . . . mostly.” The former footballer looked sad.

Blaine’s heart fell into the bottom of his chest. If Kurt would not speak to his brother he would not speak to him. Choking down a sob he drew in a deep breath.

Patting Blaine’s arm, Finn picked took his purchases and headed for a secluded place to sit. Mochas and brownies landed on the table as the two faced one another. Painful silence ensued. For Blaine a memory flashed within his mind. The summer ended and two boys sat across from one another bantering back and forth. One wore a red and blue uniform and the other casual attire. The conversation ended with them holding hands. It had been a moment which changed Blaine’s life.

The head wanted to droop but Blaine would not allow it. He had to be strong but not for Finn’s sake but his own. He had many questions. Did Kurt suffer as he did? Did Kurt still have his picture somewhere? Had he burnt them or just thrown them out? Did Kurt even mention Blaine? What did Rachel have to say about everything? The mind demanded many things but the heart only felt guilt and pain mixed with the bitter knowledge Kurt had some measure of blame in all this.

Finn sighed. “Blaine, honestly, you can’t keep going on like this.”

Brow pressing together Blaine gave the bigger man a look. “What do you mean?”

“Your brave face and all. I can see the pain in your eyes.”

“You’ve talked to Carole.”

“She is my mom after all and she’s worried.”

“I know.”

“You can’t wallow in it. I know I can’t any more.” Finn sipped the chocolatey mixture as he greedily eyed up a brownies. “I’ll always feel something for Rachel but I can’t keep guessing. I have to move on and if Rachel wants to join me in the journey I will welcome here with open arms. She’ll always be my first and only true love but I have to move on.”

Chewing on one of the sweet morsels, Blaine made a face. “Not the same as the Limabean.”

“Yeah.” Finn chuckled and glared at Blaine. “You’re voiding the point.”

Blaine sighed. “I want to Finn . . . but I can’t.”

“You’re still in love.”

“Desperately.”

“Oh, you have it bad.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to college. Something new will help.”

“That’s great.”

“And you should go to this dumb party.”

Snickering, Blaine sucked the cream off the top of his drink. “Now that we’ve beaten around the bush, honestly, how have you really been Finn?”

“Dreadfully depressed.”

“Ditto.”

“But . . .”

“But?”

“I’m in a better place now that I have seen Rachel. It’s not easy but it’s not as bad now. We argued but we also talked civilly.”

“I tried calling Kurt and he won’t pick up. Neither will Rachel. Santana called once and that ended horribly.” Blaine looked away. He did not want to remember.

Snapping a brownie in half, Finn looked Blaine in the face. “She’s doing that because Kurt asked her too. The two of them have been fighting.”

“What did she say?” Blaine’s eyes brightened for a second.

Playing with the brownie, Finn frowned. “I really don’t know. She was pretty mum about Kurt.”

Blaine sighed and his head fell. He desperately wanted to hear something. Carole’s words gave him a shimmer of hope but this, he did not know. Finn’s words left him feeling panicked.

“Blaine, I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.” Finn looked disappointed.

“Finn, it’s not your fault Kurt is being . . .” Blaine fell silent.

“Kurt.”

“I know.”

“Try calling him again.”

“Finn, he doesn’t want to hear from me?”

“Are you so sure? Try sending him a text.”

“He blocked me.”

Finn raised an eyebrow and the big jock pointed at the table as if saying ‘get it out’.

Hazel eyes shifted down to his pocket holding his cell phone. His lips pulled in.

Leaning closer Finn quietly and assertively asked, “Blaine, please, just do it.”

Digging out his phone out, Blaine fumbled to find Kurt’s number and hit text. He wrote a simple word—hey. An eyebrow went up when the screen remained blank. No blocked message. Eventually the need to breathe forced his hand to push the phone back in his pocket.

Finn tried to keep a straight face but his lip curled up on one side. “I was thinking of going as a football player.”

Blaine’s brow crinkled together. “That’s nothing new.”

“I know.” Finn shrugged and shoved the remainder of brown goodness into his mouth. “I still have my old stuff.”

“And the smell.” Chuckling, Blaine sipped his beverage.

Finn beamed, “That’s the best part.”

Saturday, October twenty-seventh pulled around corner and Blaine felt uncertain. He promised Finn and in a little while Sam and Tina would be there to pick him up. He said he would make it to Bumpers by himself but his friends would have nothing to do with it. Emotions rolled within Blaine like eggs bobbing up and down in boiling water. It took two days before a simple—hey—popped up on his text window sending Blaine through the roof. He sent a brief one sentence reply and then waited and waited. No response until this morning and it was a short but blunt snippet. Blaine’s mood tumbled.

Sitting on the bed he studied the things he had pulled out of his closet and the stuff he had pinched from school. Clothing and parts of various costumes lay all around him. He could not decide. A superhero came to mind but then he did not feel like a hero or super. The furry head piece with ears and a funny nose caught his attention. For three hours he sat there considering his options and now he wondered what Kurt would do. Well that almost ended everything right there.

Pam must have heard him curse as she passed the partially open door. Pocking her head in the door her eyes scanned the heaping mounds at the foot of the bed and upon it. Stepping into the messy room she questioned, “Blaine?”

Looking up from the cape he held, Blaine sort of ginned. “Hi, mom.”

Giving her son a sympathetic looks, she strolled through the maze and sat on the bed beside him. Placing a hand on his lap, she glanced at her watch. “You’re planning on going tonight.”

The boy half-heartedly replied, “I guess I should.”

“Go only if you want to not because your friends are forcing you to.”

“Yeah.”

“They’re trying, Blaine.”

“I know.”

“They’re going all out.”

“Just for me.”

“Just for you.”

“Mom it just that we . . .”

“Life’s not always fair.”

“I’m learning that.”

“My heart got broken for the first time when I was younger than you. Mark was nine and I was eleven. He had such nice eyes.”

“So does . . .”

Folding an arm about her son, Pam pulled him close. No one said anything leaving the room in silence until the phone vibrated. From her angle am could see the caller. “I think you might want to get that.”

It would just be Cooper again. He had phone three times already today. With no desire to answer, Blaine looked startled when his mother pushed him ever so slightly. Turning to face the low piece of furniture a hard thump almost tore his chest open. The air he drawn into his lunges hung there suspended.

The phone vibrated some more and Blaine glanced at his mom who rose. Fear filled him. “Mom, please, stay.”

Carefully sitting she laid a hand on her son’s thigh again. She put a hand to her lips and then waved a finger at her son.

His heart pounding in his chest he swiped just before it would have gone to voice mail. Holding it out so his mom could also hear, Blaine stumbled, “Err . . . Kurt . . . hello.”

“Blaine . . . hi,” Kurt sounded meek and almost afraid.

Emotion exploded in Blaine chest and he could hear the same in Kurt’s quiet tone. Swallowing, Blaine fumbled on his thoughts. “Hi . . . my god . . . it’s good to hear your voice.”

Silence on the other end caused Blaine to look at his mother. Pam sweetly smiled. The phone shook in his hands and he almost dropped it.

When Kurt finally spoke he said, “Blaine . . . I . . .”

“Kurt, I am so . . . sorry. I know I hurt you but . . .” Blaine paused. “. . . I feel terrible but . . .”

Silence again. Pam sat there quiet with a hand resting on her son’s shoulder.

“Blaine, I . . . I’m not ready but . . . I just . . . needed to hear your voice.”

“Likewise.”

Silence. Nagging stubborn silence. Pulling his lips in, Blaine could barely hear the breathing of a second person on the other end of the call. Rachel?

With a sigh Kurt asked, “You doing anything this weekend. It’s Halloween in few days.”

“Sam, Tina and others are going to Bumpers tonight for a costume party.” Blaine swore he could feel Kurt smile. “And you?”

“Rachel is going to a party and Santana is off somewhere. I’m at home. Don’t think I’m going to do anything.”

“Go with Rachel and enjoy yourself.”

“I don’t know. It’s raining here.”

“Finn’s going to join us.”

A deep breath echoed through the phone and then Kurt fell silent for a moment. “Blaine, can you ask Finn to call me. I owe him an apology.”

His eyes still on his mother, Blaine grinned. “Will do.”

“Well, I guess I should let you go.” The words drew out as if Kurt hesitated.

The throbbing against his ribs had become so heavy he thought his chest would split. A tear slide down Blaine’s cheek. “Kurt . . . I miss you so . . . much.”

Silence

“Call me.” The words rolled out slowly making it sound as if Blaine pleaded.

“Okay.” The phone went dead.

Staring at the readout for a moment Blaine held his breath. Slowly his eyes went to his mom and suddenly he threw himself at her. Her arms enveloped him as his head came to rest on her shoulder. In the corner of his eyes Blaine saw his father’s scowling face.


	3. Decisions

Blaine felt giddy even as the tear slid down his cheek. Leaning on the scaffolding the thrashing in his chest excited him. Kurt wanted to see him at Christmas. How perfect. The two of had a dozen short and edgy conversations since a simple—hey. Now they would see one another in the flesh to talk and see each other’s eyes. Before Blaine’s fall from grace, they would spent many evenings doing just that. 

Bending his neck, Blaine’s head came to rest on his hands. Kurt’s face rose in his up in his mind. The sweet teen looked at him from the other side of the couch. Bare feet played with one another as they periodically peered over their homework to smile. Right in left or foreheads pressing against one other as hazel and blue locked on one another. Those little things made the two whole. Under the present circumstances Blaine constantly sought such memories in hope the sun would never veil. 

Slowly Blaine’s eyes went up the curtains. He could hear singing on the stage and the thumping of feet. The team before them ended their performance making room for the New Directions. Two lovers had danced and sung on that stage as Warblers and with Blaine’s new friends. Passing one another they would wink and flirt finding profound happiness under the hard lights. 

Lost in his own world Blaine vaguely heard the noise right behind him. Reality struck when heavy feet stomping on the wood behind him, caused Blaine to jump. Sam stood there with a stupid look on his charming face. 

“Hey bro?” Same pulled back holding his hands slightly away from his body. Happiness drained away into alarm. His voice softened, “You alright?”

Blaine’s lips curled up into the most delicious smile. 

“Who was that?” One of Sam’s eyebrow went up. “Let me guess . . . Kurt?”

“Yes,” Blaine’s voice came out as a heavily emotional hush. “He wants to go ice-skating Christmas.”

Sam slapped Blaine on the shoulder. “That’s great!”

“Yeah it is . . .”

“What?”

“We have to wait and see.”

“You’ve barely talked for more than a half-hour over how many calls.”

“He said I’m still his best friend.”

“Are we going to Bumpers tonight?”

Pushing off the scaffolding, Blaine his shook his head. “Sam?”

One of Sam’s eyebrows went up. “Jumping up on the speakers and then whipping your shirt off.”

“You’re never going to let me live that down.”

“Hell no.”

“Just don’t share it with Kurt. It would be so embarrassing.”

“Would Santana keep it to herself?”

Blaine’s face hardened. 

Sam smirked. “You were singing one of those songs.”

“Sam, you didn’t?”

“We all decided to keep it to ourselves for the time being. But give us a chance and we’ll upload it.”

“Sam?”

The hand on his forearm tightened and Sam said in a soft tone, “Look Blaine, I don’t want to see you get hurt . . . again.”

“Threatening to embarrassment on an international scale is what . . .“ Blaine glared at his friend. Out on stage the song wound down. “Kindness?”

“Would I do that?” The blond smiled.

Blaine sighed and looked down. “I miss him so much.”

Wrapping an arm about the amazing singer, Sam pulled Blaine with him to join the rest of the New Directions. The curtain would be going up in a few minutes. Out on the stage Blaine put everything he could into his performance. He sang for happiness. It however did not prevent them from being disqualified when Marley fainted.

Concern turned into anger when it came out Kitty had coached Marley on her diet. The tempers made Blaine despondent and he stepped away. Wandering the halls he circled the preparation rooms several times until raised voices coming from the women’s washroom caught his attention. Stepping closer he recognised Marley and Kitty having an elevated conversation. He went to knock on the door when the phone buzzed in his pocket. Hauling it out his heart thumps in his chest—Kurt. At that moment Tina stepped around the corner giving Blaine an odd look.

Pointing to his phone, Blaine stepped back leaving Tina standing there. Retreating around the corner he answered but it has gone to voicemail. He waited and then tapped on Kurt’s number. It rang four times before a voice accompanied by music radiated into Blaine’s ear. A simple question received a sorrowful answer and an explanation. Then someone yelled at Kurt and for several long moments loud sounds bombard Blaine. Finally his head drooped and Blaine hung up.

The next afternoon Kurt phoned back apologising. He did not sound too good. Rachel’s moaning in the background confirmed the hypothesis they had held a party the night before. The short call left Blaine with nagging doubts.

Six days later, Blaine sat on his bed pouting. Staring at his phone he felt both happy and miserable. Kurt had just been admitted into NYADA. Good for him but it also meant Kurt would not be coming out at Christmas. The distress in young man’s voice could not be denied. Unlike their past conversations this one lasted well over an hour. Blaine happily lay on the bed as they chatted and laughed about things from the past. It felt like old times but then Kurt’s mood shifted. The argument last five minutes ending in a dead phone line.

Sometime later a conflicted Blaine pulled his coat over his shoulders and told him mom he needed to get some air. Tightening his scarf about his neck and pulling up his collar he looked up at the grey clouds wondering if he would rain or snow. Turning to the left at the end of the drive way he let his feet carry him. Breathing in the crisp, cool air revitalised his spirits giving him a break from the complex emotions he felt. 

Maybe Finn had it right in suggesting he just get away from it. The former jock made his move and found a college which would accept him even though the term had started. It meant catching up but he got on with his life. Why could not he find the strength to take that step?

Cooper kept telling his younger brother to come to California but transferring with a little over a half year before graduation did not make sense. It would be hiding from more than his desires. In his dreams he continued to see two men walking the candle lit halls of a huge manor house holding hands. It reminded Blaine of those old Jane Austin books he had never liked. Oddly, he found himself enjoying the movies. Something about them reminded him of happier times. 

Deep down Blaine knew he would never be happy with someone else, well not as happy. Lima offered little for a young gay man. Yes, he knew of others gay teens but then . . . he did not know. The need for sex did not grab him. He had not played with himself in almost two months. He could go to Scandals with brave Sam. Thoughts paused. The sight of those lips sent tingling caressing down his spin. The titillating sensations allowed the weary teen to focus on something other than what he really wanted—Kurt. 

With the night sky growing around him, Blaine stood under a streel lamp close to a darkened store front. Arms wrapped around him his mind played tricks. The tantalizing scent of one of Kurt’s sweaters nagged like a buzzing wasp. He could see Kurt blush. He had just asked Blaine about getting down and dirty followed by playful comments about layers of cloths and masturbation. Blaine never told Kurt but he found the episode so cute. Where had that innocence gone? What had changed? 

Changes? Kurt’s voice had not altered but the manner in which he used it had. He seemed less tentative and more confident. The shyness had faded into something Blaine still struggled to understand. Naivety aside, he knew change would happen. After all the world thrived on it. Sorrowfully he had wanted to be part of these modifications.

They could have talked about the issues rather than wallow the pain they caused. When the two first met Blaine put on airs displaying self-assurance. The feeling of safety Dalton provided allowed him to express a side of himself he could not at home. Kurt saw that side but as the reality of life outside of Dalton twisted Blaine’s world, Kurt’s wonderful trance crumbled the façade. As much as Dalton had protected him, Kurt took on the mantle. It took a horrible act of betrayal for Blaine to realize the agonizing truth.

Almost two hours into his walk darkness had fallen, the wind picked up and it snowed. Smiling at the huge, wet flakes illuminated against the street light the older teen decided he had better turn back. Taking a side street the wind roared off the distant river chilling him to the bone. Taking refuge from the biting cold in a café on the edge of downtown Blaine contemplated calling his mom to come pick him up.

Rubbing his hands together he sauntered up to the counter thinking about something warm and sweet. Standing there Blaine stared at the treats in the cabinet and then something caught his attention. Looking that way, a bald-headed man sat against the window in a secluded corner studying some of papers. A large coffee cup sat close to the edge of the round table. He did not look the part of a congressman in his jeans and plaid shirt. 

Pain wrenched the chest and he looked down at his feet. Water puddled around him from his wet shoes. Burt? Could he face him? Maybe karma struck, hitting his decision to move on into right field. For a second Blaine considered leaving and then he noticed the concentration on the older man’s face. He looked worried.

After a second of hesitation he stripped off his scarf and undid his coat. With care Blaine walked over. “Hey there?”

Burt’s eyes shifted and looked up from the paper fanned out over the table. Surprise glittered in his eyes. “Blaine?”

The congressman did not look to good. Redness circled Burt’s eyes. Thought immediately went to Kurt but then Blaine sensed something deeper. Blaine involuntarily stepped back.

Blinking, Burt pointed to the other chair and then shuffled his paperback into a nondescript folder. “Please, Blaine, join me.”

“You sure I’m not disturbing you.”

“Nah. I could use the company. It’s been a long day.”

“I can relate.”

Waving his hand to get the attendant’s attention, Burt pointed at the chair again. “Please, Blaine.”

Taking his jacket off, Blaine hung it over the back of the opposite chair and sat. Their eyes met and no one said a word for a few seconds. For Blaine it dredged up unwanted thoughts but then he could see pain in Burt’s eyes. It felt awkward sitting across from Kurt’s father after all this time. Blaine had been avoiding him.

Sucking his lips in, Burt broke the silence. “You’re out late?”

“Needed some air.” Blaine sighed.

“I’ve been here all evening and I can use something to eat.” The look in Burt’s eyes spoke of the need to talk. “You want something.”

Food? Blaine had not thought about it during his stroll around town. Nodding he looked up at the waitress as she drew near. Burt ordered soup and a water and Blaine a mocha and a sandwich. 

Eyes wandering this way and that Burt asked. “How’s school?”

Such a simple question but then the answer could be so complicated. The words rolled from Blaine’s mouth without much thought. “You know school, it can be like work . . . tedious.”

“Sounds like Washington but I love it. I feel I am doing something for people.”

“I kind of feel that way onstage.”

“Kurt said the same thing.”

Eyes rolling down, Blaine found it hard to look at Burt. “We got eliminated because one of the girls got sick.”

“Oh dear.” Burt’s brow tightened. “Sorry to hear that.”

“She’s been suffering from and eating disorder.”

“I hope she’s gone to see her doctor.”

“We’re all helping as best we can.”

“That’s good. I hope she gets better.”

“Me too. I like her. She’s got a great voice.”

“All that aside, how are you doing Blaine?” Burt looked concerned.

Suddenly apprehensive, Blaine hesitated and decided not to lie. “For the most part middling but I could be better.”

“But you’re holding up.”

“Yeah . . . sort of?”

“You can come and talk to me any time.”

“Wouldn’t that be awkward?”

“Yes but the offer stands.”

“Thanks Burt. What’s up with you? You seem upset.”

“I guess it’s not worth beating around the bush . . .” Regardless of his bravado Burt’s voice faded. He glanced down at the folder and placed a hand heavily upon in. “I’ve been wanting to call you.”

Without thinking Blaine leaned closer to Kurt’s father. He had never seen Burt like this. His normally bubbly and, yes, serious nature crumbled into a morass of brooding. Blaine swore he could see the gears shifting as he pondered something very heavy.

The pause lasted perhaps a minute before Burt completed his terse, opening remark. “Blaine, I have cancer.”

Blaine smashed back into the chair stunned. No other word could destroy lives faster than cancer. Wide eyed, he did not know what to say as a great menagerie of emotions erupted within his chest. What would he have done if it had been his mother sitting on the other side of the table? Or his brother? The thought sent a shiver racing up his body from the bottom of his feet to the hairs on his head. What if Kurt told him such a think? His heart stuttered. The man in front of him represented everything his father did not. 

Studying Burt, the contents of his stomach rose in Blaine’s throat. He grimaced at the burn. Unsteady words escaped his mouth. “Oh my god.”

The quiet remained for a few seconds and then Burt let out a sigh. “Blaine, I did not have to tell you, but you are still family to me regardless of what’s transpiring between Kurt and yourself.”

The statement came as an unexpected jolt. Burt remained blind to the details of their break up. A sense of being trapped edged into Blaine’s heart.

“Blaine I have been sitting here going over the doctor’s suggestions for treatments.” The man pushed the folder to the edge of the table. An emotional shadow crossed his eyes making him look weak and afraid.

“How’s Carole taking it? Finn?”

“I told Finn this morning.”

“And?” 

“He’s can’t get home until next week.”

“And Carole?”

“She’s been so supportive but it scares her. Her first husband died of cancer.”

“Oh my . . .” Blaine looked down biting his upper lip. Wild thoughts accompanied equally violent emotion. His thought of Kurt who lost his mom to the dreaded decease and now . . . this.

Smiling, Burt softly commented, “I’m doing fine, really.”

“Burt?” Blaine paused. “Is it . . . painful?”

“It’s okay, Blaine. The doctor says they found it in an early stage.”

Burt’s stomach loudly growled. Laughter fell into silence and then Blaine softly asked, “I don’t really understand why you are telling me this?”

Glancing at the paperwork Burt looked distracted.

Troubles with Kurt aside, Blaine felt morally obligated to assist. “How can help, Burt?”

Something sparkled in Burt’s eyes. “You don’t need to.”

“Yes, I do.” Blaine leaned closer and placed a hand on Burt’s. “You said I’m family and family helps each other.”

Burt smiled and then looked up at the approaching waitress. “Thank you.”

“Anything, Burt, I’ll help.” Blaine’s chest tightened. His eyes swivelled up as a plate and bowl came to quietly rest on the table. This could put him at odds with Kurt and their relationship spun like a wobbly top. He had no idea where it would land.

Burt played with his soup. Letting out a sigh, he looked Blaine straight in the face. “I want you to come to New York with me.”

Sputtering on his mocha, Blaine swallowed hard. Staring at Burt his eyes went wide. “Kurt wouldn’t . . .”

“Blaine, hear me out and I will give you time to decide.” Burt feed a spoonful of soup into his mouth. He nodded with the taste.

“Okay.” The teenager sounded meek. The heart pounding in is chest made him feel uncomfortable. Logic screamed at him. 

Burt tooled with his soup as he stared out the window for a few seconds. He looked distant. In a low voice, he said, “I haven’t told him yet.”

“What?” Blaine lurched forward with wide eyes

“I want to tell him in person. Kurt deserves that much. He has been my life since his . . .” Burt paled. A tear rolled down his cheek. “. . . mother died . . . I don’t know . . . how he will . . . react.”

The look on the man’s face dug deep into Blaine’s chest. With his emotions already on edge, moisture welled up in his eyes. Sitting there, he stared for a long moment and then quietly said. “Humm . . . excuse me Burt, si this really a good idea?”

Releasing a heavy sigh, Burt looked despondent. “My son will need you.”

“Kurt and I are not exactly on the best of terms.”

“You don’t think I know that.”

“We talk now and then but that’s it.”

Noting the look on Blaine’s face, Burt let out a sigh. “Kurt told me about your Thanksgiving call. I know the sound of stifled sobs when I hear them.”

The words sank into Blaine’s chest like stones added to a sinking ship. The mind spun off in one direction and his heart the other. For a second it felt as if his tongue had swelled up in his month choking him. Clearing his throat no words came out.

Older eyes gazed at his younger counterpart. Heavy feelings rimmed a father’s eyes as if he realised something. Blinking he said in a soft tone, “It looks like he hasn’t told . . .”

Mouth hanging open Blaine fought with his inner demons and the glanced away. 

Burt pushed back his chair. A massive wave of sentiment flashed across his face. “Sorry Blaine, but I think I had better pay for this and go.” 

“No, no, Burt . . .” Blaine leaned forward with his mocha in his hands. “Please . . . stay.”

A father looked down at the boy staring up at him with large guilty eyes. Burt’s lips curled in and then he slowly sat again. Leaning back his face changed a couple of times. “I guess my son hasn’t told me everything either.”

Elbows fell on the table as Blaine’s head came to rest on his palms covering his eyes. He remained there for a few seconds and then he looked up. “Burt, I cheated on your son. I thought it was over between us and I . . .”

Drawing in a long breath, Burt glanced out the window for a few seconds. The silence deafened and then Burt said in a low, shaky tone, “Carole told me he had been hanging up on you like he has with us.”

“That doesn’t forgive what I did.” A tear rolled down Blaine’s cheek.

Picking up his napkin, Burt handed it to the teen. “No, it doesn’t but then it does. I don’t need the details.”

“But Burt . . . I hurt him.” Blaine’s chin quivered as he sopped up the moisture under his eyes.

“And he didn’t hurt you. No, it does not just you Blaine. From my experience. My son told me you split and that was that. No god damned explanation. He just hung up.” Anger flashed in Burt’s and then in drew in a deep breath. “Blaine, the look on your face tells me much. It tells me what you feel is real. It tells me you are that caring boy who came to me in my garage to give me an education about my son. I see you’re still doing it.”

“Burt . . .” Blaine shook his head and his hands fell to the table. “I really fucked it up.”

“Yes, you . . . fucked . . .” Burt looked uncomfortable with a word. Placing a hand on Blaine’s he smiled. “Yes, you gave in to your needs. While not wise, it’s human, Blaine.”

“But . . .?”

“Did my son hang up on you? Did he change the subject to something he wanted to talk about taking way from what you wanted to speak about? Did he not pick up your calls when you know he could? Did he ignore you?”

“Yes, but . . .”

“Listen to me Blaine. You screwed up and my son pushed you into it.” Burt looked down shaking his head. “Blaine. Believe me, I understand. I cheated on Janet, Kurt’s mother. I got drunk and . . . well that is neither here or there. We fought. We talked. We forgave and we grew stronger. Then Kurt came along and my life changed forever.”

Flabbergasted, Blaine just stared. 

“None of us are angels, Blaine.” Burt pointed at his heart. “The answer is hanging on the tip of your tongue.”

The mind flipped to the Limabean after the New Directions had been disqualified from the nationals. Kurt sat across from Blaine in the off white coat reminiscing about the adventure. The look on his face thrilled Blaine who lapped it all up. With his cheek resting in one hand, the words—I love you—effortlessly rolled off a mesmerized his throat.

Sitting back the teen’s right hand went to his chin. He froze. In some odd manner he could still feel Kurt’s hand pressing against his palm. Letting out an emotional sigh, Blaine admitted, “I still love Kurt . . . very much.”

The expression on Burt’s face shifted to thoughtful and then he smiled, “I know.”

“It’s so hard.” Blaine’s head fell into his hands again. His voice cracked. “I . . . really miss him.”

“New York has changed the boy. He is not the sweet kid I once knew but he is still my son.”

“What will having me there achieve?”

“Peace?”

A ping of pain struck a young heart leaving Blaine deflated.

Placing his hand on the young man in front of him, Burt said, “I would like you there because my stubborn son might need you after our discussion. He may be proud and sometimes dense, but my son is also caring and you’re still his best friend.”

“Yes, he did say that.” A dreamy look danced across Blaine’s face only to be washed away like sand on the beach.

“He still lives in you, Blaine. Carole tells me she can see the same in my son’s eyes.”

“I know Carole saw him a little while ago?”

‘She been going to New York every two weeks.”

“And she’s not told him?”

“She’s there right now.” Burt glanced at the folders. “I asked her and Finn not to. Besides, the doctor only told me the final prognosis this morning.” 

“Oh my god?”

“Blaine it’s alright.”

“But Kurt?”

“He is my only son and my joy. I need to be the one to tell him.” Burt paused. “I know him. He will be emotionally stoic but with you he opens up.”

“I understand the sentiment.” An uncomfortable look passed across Blaine’s face. “Burt, I really don’t think he would like to see me.”

“You don’t know that.”


	4. For Crap's Sake

“Hey squirt,” someone yelled.

Glancing up from staring at the luggage carousel, Blaine’s eyes went wide. Cooper strolled out from the crowd swinging his arms open wide. Buoyed from four nights in New York, Blaine’s face exploded into a huge smile. Throwing his arms around his brother, the youngest Anderson pulled Cooper so close he began to squirm. Once estranged, the two brothers now talked at least once a week. Perhaps Cooper understood. After all he did live in Las Angeles where gay men fall out of buses and lay nude on the beach.

“Woo, little brother.” Cooper teased as he endured Blaine’s happiness. It had been weeks since he had seen his brother this happy. “That good ha?” 

Blaine let out a satisfied sigh and released his brother. Christmas had been a marvel. Father and son had a great time regardless of the seriousness surrounding the holidays. For the most part Kurt took things amazingly but then Blaine knew what to look for. A twitch of the right eyes next to the eye or the slightest motion of an eyebrow. While these minute details gave Blaine a reason to be concerned others revealed interest. The dillation of the pupil or the inflection of the voice exposed the emotion he reserved for the people he held dear. As the hours of the visit wore on Burt’s little boy came out to play once the smokescreen had been stripped bare.

Adding Blaine to the mix made for a festive and sometimes tense occasion. The surprise at the ice-skating rink pulled Kurt to some place Blaine did not know. While he seemed to be happy the stiffness of body revealed much. A strained past haunted them but then they bounced about the loft making a simple meals and singing seasonal songs. In the corner of his eyes Blaine could see the happiness in Burt’s face. When he had a chance he mouthed a silent thank you. All in all, regardless of Kurt being Kurt, it worked.

Then the time came when Blaine had to leave. Father and son took him to the Kennedy Airport even though the young visitor argued. Burt would hear nothing of it and Kurt response involved an impish little grin. The expense of a cab ride bothered Blaine but Burt, being a congressman, had perks such as a higher than average income. Much to his son’s consternation, Burt took the front forcing him into the back-seat with Blaine. It got a father a dirty look. The appearance of Kurt’s face shifted when he noticed the amusement glistening in hazel eyes.

Awkward words punctuated by bouts of silence engulfed them after check in. Standing outside security, Kurt stood close to his father. Watching his ex-lover, but not watching him at the same time, Kurt played a game. It bothered Blaine who didn not know what to expect. When the time to part snuck up on them no one did anything. Sadly he turn toward the lineups passing through security. Out of the blue Burt drew Blaine into a warm hug and a comment—call me anytime

The meaning of the words had not been lost on Blaine. On the other hand, Kurt just stood there with a—I do not know what to do—look on his face. Blue locked on hazel and then, Kurt leaned in giving Blaine a tentative hug. Holding each other for a few seconds longer than either of them anticipated Blaine felt a gently heat spread through is chest. The curly haired teen recalled the words Kurt had whispered when he returned to McKinley—I will never leave you.

The teen choked back deep emotions as he passed through security. Looking back twice, he saw Burt standing there holding his son by the shoulder. A father’s face revealed sorrow while the son, well, Blaine could not tell. Irrespective of Kurt’s coolness, Blaine felt good. The Thanksgiving forgiveness call started Blaine down a path of healing. With Christmas out of the way he felt he could finally move on. To where he did not know but one thing he did know—he and Kurt would at least be friends. 

Mental snapshots of a wonderful time flashed through his mind and then he suddenly noticed something. Rewinding his thoughts, he recalled seeing the ‘KB’ pin he had given Kurt lying on the nightstand for everyone to see. Deep warmth spread through his chest as his face got that distant look. 

Cooper’s foot pressing against Blaine’s broke concentration. Pulling away he smiled up at his taller sibling. “Sorry, Cooper.”

Cooper gave his younger brother that patented Hollywood grin. “Yup, that’s me. Came home for the New Year.”

“That’s great.” Blaine felt a tightness in his chest. Cooper liked to beat around the bush. “I bet dad is happy.”

“Yeah.” The smirk fell away. “Let’s go get a coffee.”

The expression on Blaine’s face waned. Something seemed out of place.

Cooper hauled at the handle of Blaine’s bag and started to walk. He made a face as if it weighed too much. “You buy New York out?”

Giving his brother a look, Blaine knew Cooper noticed. “A little bit.”

“Good.” Cooper made a face. “You need some new clothes. Kurt has mediocre taste.”

Resenting the statement, Blaine bluntly retorted, “He has great taste.” 

“Yeah right.” Cooper rolled his eyes. Wrapping his arm around his little brother he dragged his through the crowd. 

Every airport had a Starbucks and thus they stopped. The lineup took forever and Cooper paying only added to Blaine’s suspicions. They found a place to sit close to a window looking out onto the tarmac. One brother joked with his younger counterpart redirecting remarks and questions.

After about five minutes Blaine glared at Cooper. “Out with it?”

“What?” His brother returned an innocent look.

Rolling his eyes, Blaine gave his brother a hard look. “Come off it Cooper?”

“You always were one for seeing through me.” Cooper took a long swig of his tall coffee.

Heat rose in up Blaine’s neck. “For crap’s sake Cooper, what the hell happened?” 

Sighing, Cooper glanced down at his hands and then up at his brother. “Mom did not want to ruin your time in New York.”

“Coop?” Blaine’s voice rose in pitch and volume.

“Okay.” The older brother let out a sigh. He did not look happy. “Mom and dad got into a big blow.”

Sitting forward, Blaine’s face contorted. “What happened?” 

“I don’t think you want to go there yet.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Blaine.”

“It’s about me again?”

Sitting back, Cooper looked more than a little upset. “It’s been brewing for a while. Mom told me it has been going on behind closed doors for a few years now.”

Face turning red, Blaine’s tone rose. “Why hasn’t she told me any of this?”

Reaching over, Cooper placed a hand on his little brother’s forearm. “Let’s take these coffees and we can drink them on the drive home.”

“Cooper?” Blaine objected.

“Just humour me.” Cooper grinned and rose. “Besides, I thought you would want to see mom.”

Pushing his mouth out, Blaine gave his brother a hard stare. It felt like Kurt all over again. No one wanted to tell him the truth straight up. He could understand why Kurt might be conflicted but Cooper?

Walking out the front doors toward the parking lot the brothers did not say a word. The silence played on Blaine’s sentments concerning Kurt and his mom. The throbbing in his chest demanded answers but he could wait a tiny bit longer. It has been said bad things come in threes, what next?

The younger son brooded as they drove to Lima. After half an hour of music blaring in his ears and his head started to pound. Cooper joked and talked about himself while Blaine dug himself in for a long siege. He felt like that eight year old who could never please his older brother. Blaine just cut his brother off. 

Eventually Cooper pulled into a privately owned café the family usually stopped there on the way out of or into town. It had the best homemade apple and raisin pie which Blaine loved. When he was younger and a little fatter, Cooper liked the sundae made with a half quart of ice cream and lots of chocolate. After getting, yet another, coffee the brothers sat facing one another staring.

Gnawing quiet prevailed and then Blaine drew in a deep breath. Taking a sip with a sigh he glanced over the rim at his brother. “Okay, Cooper, please tell me what’s up?”

“Blaine, you have better ask mom. She asked me not to say anything.” Cooper downed half his coffee even though felt exceedingly warm going down.

Moving lips formed a less than moral word. Blaine rarely swore.

“Come on little brother,” Cooper smiled his famous electric smile as he avoided the issue at hand once more. “You were literally vibrating when we hugged at arrivals. Are you and your sweetie back together again?”

His brother liked being an asshole at times. “No!”

“That was abrupt.”

“Yeah, but you did not answer my questions so why should I answer yours.”

“Don’t be that way. Mom wants to tell you herself.”

“Fine.”

“I’m not trying to upset you.”

“Too late.”

“I know you Blaine. There’s other stuff locked up in there.”

“Right, fine, sorry, Coop, but you . . .”

“Blaine, I told you, she wants to tell you herself.”

“But it’s bad,”

Cooper bit his tongue and nodded. 

Looking down, Blaine gulped down a quarter of his coffee. “Why are we sitting here then?”

Cooper’s eyes shifted sway. “Too early.”

The chin dropped and Blaine stared at his brother for a long moment. He could play this silly game. With a sigh he said, “Okay. New York was great. I still find it hard to believe Burt would do that.”

“He has faith in you kiddo.” Cooper smiled with his victory.

“Yeah, I guess so. You should have seen Kurt’s face when I skated up to him, saying ‘Package for Mr. Hummel’. It was priceless.”

“You’re quite the package, little bro.”

“We got along for the most part. It felt like old times . . .” Blaine purposefully chose his words but as he spoke the thoughts unraveled. “. . . but . . . then it . . . hung there like a heavy . . . balloon that would not pop.”

Cooper leaned closer with an inquisitive look. “What hung there?”

Stupid. Telling Cooper would only make him an object to toy with. The idea sent a shiver shooting up Blaine’s back. Heat rose in his cheeks.

“Right, more state secrets.” Cooper pouted.

Sipping his coffee, Blaine ignored the comment.

Sitting back, Cooper asked with a deadpan look. “Did the two of you . . . do it?”

“Coop!” Quick shocked Blaine glanced away at the picture on the wall beside them. His skin turned red.

Grinning from ear to ear, Cooper nodded. “You dirty dog.”

Blushing, Blaine gulped down half of what remained of his coffee. “Yes, we shared the fold out couch. Burt had Kurt’s bed though he argued. Before you say it, we were fully clothed.”

The older brother gave hs younger sibling a enthusatic lool.

Eyes narrowing Blaine defended himself. “Nothing happened . . . well not like that. I did woke up in the middle of the night with Kurt coiled about me like a pretzel.”

Copper smiled as his eyebrows went up and down. “Well then, he doesn’t hate you. Did you talk?”

“Yeah, we talked.”

“And?”

“We’re friends.”

“Really now? I would have sworn you were sprouting wood when we hugged.”

Blushing and coughing, Baine rolled his eyes, “You’re horrible.”

“You must have had some sort of fantasy unless seeing your brother affected you that much?” Coyly leaning forward, Cooper whispered, “And you’re still in love.”

That question again. Everyone asked it. Yes, it had been fun. Yes, when he woke that first morning he felt Kurt’s hard sexual appendage pressed into his thigh. It took every ethical fibre in his body not to jump the adorable man and have his way with him. What if Kurt had screamed and yelled? What if he accepted and the made long, passionate love? What? What? What?

Running his hand through his hair, Blaine frowned. Yes, he loved him but then Kurt had been cool or even angry. Not knowing unsettled the teen. 

Grabbing up his coffee, Blaine chugged it down while trying to ignore it brother. He hated it when Cooper did this yet he could not deny the fussy sensation in his chest. Yeah, they bumped up against one another by accident . . . well he thought of it that way . . . but he liked it. With Rachel tucked in her bed, Burt lounging in Kurt’s area and Santana shacked up with some girl, their first night had been a clumsy affair. Blaine took the side closest to the bookshelf giving Kurt the advantage of an escape route. Well Blaine had to crawl over him to go to the bathroom. Stifling a chuckle, Blaine suddenly smiled.

“I’ll take that look as a yes,” Cooper purred. He smiled a genuine, non-Hollywood smile. “Does he still love you?”

Caught off guard, Blaine gulped down the remains of his coffee. The cup lowered and he bit his upper lip. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know. We never really talked about that.”

“But?”

“Well, I don’t know.”

“He flirted.”

Cheeks reddening, Blaine simply nodded.

“Then, in my humble opinion, you have not lost him completely.” Cooper smiled and finished off his coffee. “What did you give him for Christmas besides your charming whit?”

“Ha, ha.” A reprieve? Perhaps but Blaine knew his older brother. Feeling a little more at ease, he leaned back and sighed. “I got him a really beautiful wool scarf in Kennedy.”

“He’ll like that and it’s not something over the top mushy.”

“Yeah, he did and no it wasn’t.”

“Did he get you anything?”

“He didn’t even know I was coming.”

“And”

“Okay, he had something for me. It did not have a real Christmas feel to it. I think he had it for a while.”

“What was it?”

“A bowtie.”

Cooper laughed.

“It had Halloween colours. Nice one too and made of silk.” Blaine chuckled as well.

Smiling, Cooper patted Blaine on the arm. “Are you going to be alright, little bro?”

“I wish I knew for certain, but I think so.”

“Good. I hate seeing my little brother so upset.”

“You would never had said that five years ago.”

“No, I would have tried to get your hair all knotted up in the brambles.”

A good belly laugh allowed a wave of relief to wash through the younger Anderson child. Regardless of the fact anger continued to bubble just under the surface He wanted to admonish his brother but tried his best to stay on the high road. The words expelled from his mouth continued a level of honesty two brother rarely shared. 

“Thanks Cooper,” The smile on Blaine’s face held genuine admiration. “I needed that.”

“I kind of knew you would be elated or upset when you got back. That is why I flew in to surprise everyone for Christmas.” Cooper paused and looked thoughtful. “Well it didn’t quite turn out the way I hoped.” 

Blaine’s heart tightened and his chin drooped. “Please tell me, Coop?”

Making a face, Cooper leaned toward his little brother. A single eyebrow went up. “Don’t you tell mom.”

Blaine grinned. “I never told on you.”

“Yeah, right.” Cooper shook his head. “When I fell off the wall?”

“I never needed to. Mrs. Straus saw the whole thing,”

“Yeah, but you blabbed everything.”

“I was six. You know what dad is like.”

“All too well.” Cooper’s voice had an edge to it. His expression changed as he sat back.

Sitting back, Blaine studied his brother for a few seconds and pleaded, “Please Cooper. I don’t know how much more I can take. With Kurt and now . . . well?”

“I could never resist those puppy eyes of yours.” Cooper winked. “I bet they drove Kurt up the wall.”

Blaine grunted and looked crossed.

“Okay, bro, hold onto yours shorts.” Cooper took a long draft of his coffee. Rolling his head to one side his shoulders sagged. “It started off well. I got there the day you left as I planned. I wanted some time with the folks. That night I asked mom what is really going on with you. You should learn to trust your older brother.”

That deserved a speculative look but Blaine knew Cooper spoke the truth. His older sibling had changed a lot since moving to Hollywood but he could still be a jerk.

Cooper went on, “It went downhill on Christmas morning. Mom was making us breakfast. She asked me how I thought you were getting along. Mom was worried.”

“She didn’t have to be.” Blaine interrupted.

“You know mom.” Cooper looked distraught. “Then dad piped up about you being with your . . . well I’m not going to say it.”

“I can imagine,” Blaine stared at empty coffee cup. Saddened, his eyes circled up to his brother. “At times I don’t think dad will ever understand.”

“He’s old school but at times he can be really cool.”

“I wish.”

“Honestly, I have never figured out why he’s down on you.”

“The whole gay thing?’

“I don’t know about that. Dad has gay clients and co-workers.”

“They’re not his son. I think he wants one of us to follow in his footsteps and you already made your move. I’m the one who can still be molded.”

“You’re too independent Blaine. I went to Las Angeles to make my dreams come true but you know there real reason. You were too young but he rode me pretty hard.”

“But you get along with them so well.”

“As you know mom is easy to get along with when she had not been drinking too much. Dad, well he has not changed that much. I get along with dad because I’m matured a little bit and I’m not under his roof anymore.”

Pouting, Blaine placed both elbows on the table and pressed his chin into his palms. “Yeah, we both know dad isn’t perfect. What did he do to mom to put her in the hospital?”

Cooper sat up straight. “I never mentioned hospital.”

“But you did mention visiting hours.” The heart thumped within a teen’s chest. 

“I guess I did.” Cooper looked down at his hands and then up again. “Dad had been drinking most of the night and started up again in the morning. Mom actually stood up to him . . .”

“What?”

“Yeah, she laid into him pretty good. I could see him trying to hold back even though they really got into it. Finally dad lost it and he threw his plate at her like a frisbee. It caught mom in the face right below he eye knocked her out cold. Dad panicked and took off. I called for an ambulance and the police.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“It was kind of frantic there for a few hours. Then mom didn’t want to ruin your chance with Kurt. You wouldn’t be able to get flight anyhow.”

“Cooper?” Blaine’s voice rose in pitch and volume. He started to wave his hands about and then looked his brother in the face. 

Tapping his brother’s hand, Cooper cautioned, “Calm down.”

Giving his older sibling an off look, Blaine demanded, “I want to go see her?”

Glancing down at his watch Cooper did not look too happy. “By the time we get there visiting hours would have started.”

“How bad is she?” 

“The plate broke the cheek bone and she had a concussion. They’ve kept her in for observations.”

“Where’s dad?”

“They arrested him for assault and drunk driving.”

Crushing the cardboard coffee container, Blaine rose and put his coat on. As he did his mind suddenly went to Kurt and how their lives seemed to parallel each other. Would he have treated Kurt the way Daniel treated his mother? Some experts say children learn from the parent’s actions and not words. He hurt Kurt as his father had hurt his mom. He did not want to be that way.

Blaine paused in mid-twist of his scarf wrapping around his neck. God, no! The thought raddled his brain as an eerie sensation wiggled down his spine. It rebounded back up his back leaving the older teen with an uncomfortable feeling the pit of his stomach. Brows bunching together he did not like where his mind took him. Had his dad cheated on his mother? The thought made him feel sick.

“You alright. Blaine?” Cooper suddenly asked.

Shaking his head, Blaine blinked. Glancing at his bother he weakly smiled. “Yeah.”

“You sure?” Cooper stepped in front of his brother.

“Yes!” Blaine snapped.

Twenty turbulent minutes later, an older brother gave his younger brother a look as the two of them walked through the hospital’s front door. Just inside reception Blaine paused and glanced about. Cooper tapped him on the shoulder and pointed at the elevator. 

The younger Anderson almost stumbled when Cooper pushed the door open. Things beeped off to the left where an old woman slept with her bed raised and his head to one side. Tubes ran from drips hanging over his shoulder. Across the aisle a lady in her thirties with her leg in a cast over the knee typed feverously onto a lap top. One of the beds by the window looked crisp. The curtain between beds had been pulled to the end of the bed. A bathrobe lay on the end of the bed with one sideways foot underneath it. 

The older sibling pressed on Blaine’s shoulder urging him into the room. Slowly walking passed the first two beds, Blaine stopped when he saw his mom on the right hand bed lying on her side facing the window. Long strands of dark hair flowed own over the pillow and her shoulder. A big bandage on her face caught Blaine’s attention. His chin dropped and he sucked in a sharp breath. The hair pulled from the pillow as her head moved. Her uncovered eye looked bright as she gazed at her sons. Slowly a hand came up and she smiled. 

“Mom?” the word barely escaped Blaine’s mouth. Hazel eyes gazed at her with bewildered look which quickly turned to deep emotion. 

“My boy. Come and kiss your mom.” Pam bright face lit the room and beaconed her youngest with her fingers. Her eyes went to her oldest son accompanied by a warm grin. “You can tell me all about your adventures in New York.”

Walking slowly over to the side of the bed, Blaine kissed his mom on the forehead and then said, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good,” Pam smiled, her hand held out of her youngest son.

Studying his mother, Blaine’s lips twitched as he took her hand. The bandage covered her eye and down onto her cheek. The skin around it showed the early signs of a bad bruise. She looked cheerful enough but Blaine knew the act when he saw it. How could this have happened? He should have been at home but then his heart pulled him east toward a young man who represented . . . what . . . lost hopes 

It soon became obvious his mother saw the sorrow in his eyes. He had never been able to keep anything from her. Hauling a chair over with his free hand, Blaine sat. His eyes went up to Cooper who stood at the end of the bed smiling. The mouth opened and no words came out. Eyes widening Blaine buried his head in his mom’s hand and sobbed.


	5. Happy New Year

Daniel came home to find his boys less than enthusiastic to see him. The words passing between them tstarted off calmly and then Blaine lost it and threatening his father. Daniel retreated to the den with Blaine on his heels. Cooper stepped between them to break it up. For the rest of the day their father moved about the house staying out of the way. It took a while but Cooper warmed to him and chatted. The youngest Anderson had trouble controlling his anger.

The next afternoon dutiful sons brought their mom home. Blaine entered the house first to find his father sat in the living room with a cup of coffee on the table beside him. His eyes met with his wife’s for a moment and then he broke into sobs. With little hesitation, Pam sat on the chair next to the couch. They stared at each other for a moment and then talked.

Blaine stared at his father with a simmering lack of trust. The bandages on his mother’s cheek stood as a symbol which ate at his heart. The fingers of his right-hand dug into his palm causing pain. The pit of his stomach turned over and then Cooper touched him on the shoulder. Looking up at his brother, Blaine saw concern but also calm. The older brother dragged his uncertain younger sibling off to the kitchen.

Eventually the adults separated. Pam passed through the kitchen to get a drink before going upstairs. Tense silence prevailed and then the door to the den closed. The brothers looked at each other and then Blaine bounded up the stairs. Knocking on the door he pocked his head in. His mother looked up from the pillow she lay against and weakly smiled. Her son wanted to say something but she looked tired. Blaine left her and walked down the hall to his room.

Some time later, Blaine looked up from a text book when someone knocked on the door. “Come in, unless you’re dad.”

The door opened the older Anderson boy strolled over to the edge of the bed. “How are you doing?”

Blaine shrugged.

Cooper sat on the opposite side of the bed. “This is the worst I’ve ever seen it.

Blaine sighed. He pushed the books piled on the duvet to one side and then lounged against the headboard. “Why is he even here?”

“Mom called him.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me.”

“Why am I the last to know everything?!”

“You were already wound up.”

“Thanks, I guess?”

“Dad’s sucking up.”

“I guess that means she’s not going to press charges.”

“Probably.”

“Fu . . . asshole.”

Cooper’s brows pulled together. He calmly added. ”They need professional help.”

A scowl marred Blaine’s young face, “Lawyers?”

Other than an eyebrow going up, Cooper ignored the comment. “They need to talk it out.”

“Yeah, it might help.”

“Love can be a very powerful thing.”

“Could that be why I can’t give up on Kurt?”

“Have you been able to get hold of him?”

“Burt’s still there.”

“Cancer. That’s a tough one.”

“I’m willing to give him space but this . . .” Blaine waved his arms around. “It’s killing me.”

“Hang in there squirt.” Cooper shuffled closer to his little brother.

Smiling, Blaine reached over and patted his brother one the shoulder. “It’s funny, we never got along like this before.”

“I had no reason to care about my little brother until he fell in love.”

“Gee thanks.”

“All kidding aside, seeing you with Kurt opened my eyes to how complicated you are. The whole thing made me think and then I talked to him.”

“Oh?”

“He’s a good man. I can see why you fell for him even if his taste in cloths sucks.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “At the moment I feel as if the anchor chain has been cut. I’ve called a dozen time since I got home.”

“You said it.” Cooper smiled. “He has heavy subject on his plate.”

“I just want him to know I am here for him.”

“Deep down I think he knows that. He only needs to come out the other end. Sort of like mom and dad.”

“I don’t want to fight with them so I’m staying out of it.”

“You can’t avoid it.”

“It’s status quo.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I stay out of dad’s way and help mom when he’s not around. When he’s being an ass I come up here and listen to music or study or . . .”

“Call Kurt?”

Silence prevailed for a few moments and then Blaine shook his head. “I just wish I could speak to him.”

“Hey, little bro, you can talk to me. Why do you think I’m staying an extra week?”

“I appreciate it Coop but I feel so broken.”

“I’ve split up before. In time you’ll move on.”

“Did you love her?”

Cooper looked over at the bookshelf. “When I think back no or maybe, a little, but she was not the one.”

“Kurt’s the one for me.”

“There’s lots of young studs out there waiting to sweep you off your feet.”

“No, Coop, Kurt’s the one. I’ve known since he first walked down those stairs. He had a hallow around him as if he walked out of a ball of light.”

“Really? Wow.” Cooper leaned onto the bed. “Friends of mine in LA said the same thing. They’re such lovebirds. I can only hope it happens to me when it find her.”

“I didn’t believe any of that but then . . . bam . . . it strikes you in the face. I still don’t really trust it but I can’t deny it either. I had crushes before but nothing like this. He makes me fell whole.”

“You can make a wish tomorrow night at midnight.”

“A New Year.”

“Yup, new beginnings.”

“I can think of lots of things to wish for.” Blaine looked toward the door.

“I know.” Cooper’s eyes followed. “Remember to call Kurt, Burt and Rachel wishing them a Happy New Year.”

Blaine smiled. “Rachel and Kurt had planned to go to a big party but with Burt there I doubt Kurt will go.”

“Are you going out?”

“There’s a party at Tina’s.”

“Do you think you would have gotten the same support in Dalton as you have in McKinley?’

Looking to the left, Blaine stared at the red and blue tie hanging from the side of the shelves. A warm smile stretched his lips. “I wanted to go back there after Kurt and I broke up. Sam and the others showed me I was wrong?”

“Why were you wrong?” The look on Cooper’s face told his brother he did not know this story. “Was the guy still there who tried to blind you?”

“Kurt was the target. I just got in the way.” Blaine sighed and his face changed. Memories of the pain and the fear of surgery played on him. Kurt had been there all along visiting every day and making him feel safe. The poor boy worried. The look on his face made it blatantly obvious. Even now the thought warmed Blaine’s heart.

Sitting up straight, Cooper gave his brother a concerned look. “That guy really didn’t like Kurt.”

“Sebastian, no. He did not and Kurt knew it. He tried to break us up and I didn’t see it.”

“You liked him?”

“He had a certain allure but then I loved . . . still love Kurt.”

“Oh, my little brother, I do hope it works out.”

“Me too.”

“Hey, Blaine. You got along at Christmas. Kurt does not like to sing with just anyone.”

“You’re right there. He complains about not getting solos but at the same time he does not like them outside the classroom. When we did Candles he was so afraid.”

“You said that was his first solo in concert.”

Blaine smiled. “It was kind of flirty . . . but he didn’t like being put in the spotlight. He’s so cute.”

“And you love it.” Cooper tappeed his brother on the arm. “Perfect team.”

“Yeah?” Blaine did not look convinced. “He’s grown so much since going to New York. I wonder if I will be able to catch up.”

Cooper grinned. “You will find your place with Kurt at your side.”

Blaine looked down at the duvet as a shadow passed over his face. “I hope he will be at my side.”

“You will and . . .” Cooper started then he went silent. Raised voices echoed from downstairs. Glancing at his watch he scowled. “An hour and a half, fuck.”

Emotion flashed on Blaine’s face but before he could say anything Cooper raced from the room flinging the door open. Crawling off the bed, Blaine tore out into the hall and toward the stairs. Daniel’s voice rose from the kitchen overpowering his mother’s. A hand fell against the wall the moment a foot fell upon the top step. It sounded bad and then Cooper’s voice rose above the others as he pleaded for calm.

His rump hit the top step with a jolt. The hairs on the back of Blaine’s neck rose with his blood pressure. Elbows pressing against his knees, the palms of his hands pressed into his ears. The noise below rushed within his head and then he heard a loud yell. Looking up, his hands fell to his knees.

“. . . it doesn’t matter.” His mother’s tone cut through the battling voices. “You can’t keep pretending there are no bigger issues.”

“The only issue is . . .” Daniel’s tone rose and fell away quickly.

“Why bring this up now of all times.” Blaine’s mother sound very angry.

“Why don’t we just call it a night,” Cooper’s voice interceded.

“Why, so she can hide from the truth. I have played your game for years and . . . I . . . oh fuck this!” Blaine’s father’s voice suddenly fell away.

“What the hell do you want, Daniel!” Pam’s tone rose in pitch. “That was years ago.”

“Yes and look where it got us.”

“It has nothing to do with anything.”

“It has to do with everything.”

“For Christ’s sake, Daniel I had no control over that.”

“You bloody well did!”

From where he sat, Blaine heard his mother being to cry. He swore under his breath.

“What the hell was all that about dad?” Cooper growled.

Daniel snapped. “Nothing to do with you!”

“I’m part of this family so it had a lot to do with me.” Cooper’s voice had firmness to it Blaine rarely so.

“Daniel, let’s not go there.” Pam pleaded.

“Too fucking late. Our life was spoiled years ago. That little bastard ruined it.”

“What the . . .” Cooper’s voice got washed out by Pam’s yelling.

Three words drove into Blaine’s head like a spike. The throbbing in his through made it hard to breath. Throwing his arms up, he stomped down to the landing and ran for the front hall. Pulling on a heavy jacket and snickers the door slammed behind him. He doubted anyone heard.

Running on to the walk he fell face first into a mound of snow. Lying there he screamed and then dragged himself up. Hauling the keys out of the jacket pocket he took Pam’s car. With no idea where he would go, he just drove. Struggling to keep his mind on the road he slowed and turned away from town. Radio releasing songs from his phone, eventually he found himself at the park by the river.

The ruts in the snow made it hard to control his mom’s little car. Sliding here and there, he turned the wheel to the right into the parking lot. Tires hit ice and the car spun. It jolted to an abrupt stop throwing Blaine forward. The seat belt caught him. The car had stopped. A foot smashed into the break and he shoved the gearshift into park. Fingers tugged on the emergency break for good measure.

Breathing in, his heart pounded in his throat. Sitting there the stared at his hands. They trembled. The neck pulled tights as he his head bowed. Ugly words morphed in his head. He had been right all along. Daniel had called him—that little bastard. The three words crushed sensitivity leaving a defeated sensation in its wake.

Biting his lip, he could not believe it. Every fear he held came true in a flash. Sniffing back a tear, hazel eyes scanned the surround. On this cool, pre-New Year’s Eve, day, no one had been here other than a plow. With a snort, Blaine turned the engine off and shoved the keys in his pocket. Fingers brushed against his cell phone. Pulling it free, he looked at it and then dropped it on center console.

With a sigh, Blaine pushed the car door open and received a brisk blast of air in the face. In an instant he felt alive. Stepping out of the vehicle he looked up at the sky enjoying he solitude. Slowly his eyes went to the tracks he had made in the freshly driven snow. His face changed when he noticed the rear of his mom’s car pressed up against a pile deposited there by the snowplow. Walking to the back of the little car he sighed with relief. No damage.

Wrapping his arms over his chest, Blaine watched the wind lift the snow up into the air and carry it across the open field toward the river. A tall cluster of spruce trees mark a place he knew well. Opening the hatchback, he rummaged around looking for the emergency kit. Pulling out a tightly packed plastic container dumped the contents out.

Climbing up over a mound left behind by the plow, Blaine marched through the foot deep snow. Icy flakes forced themselves up his pant legs where it quickly melted. Refreshing but cold, instinct took him as he plowed on through the snow.

With a scarf clinging to his neck and the collar of his coat pulled up downcast boy sat on a large rock. Hunched over with a thermal blanket wrapped up over his head and shoulders the stiff fabric provided protection from the wind racing down the icy river. Sorry eyes stared at the hues of color dancing around him. The clouds turned red and pink as it slipped toward the horizon. Beautiful and uplifting Blaine smiled. An hour more and it would be dark.

He called the stone ‘their’ rock. Here two boys learned about each other as they wasted the lazy days of summer. They tossed a ball around. Well, Kurt fumbled it and Blaine learned how inquisitive his bow could be. Picnics and duets brought them together in ways Blaine still found hard to believe. Here everything felt right and safe.

Kurt had never liked taking off is layers but in this place, Blaine watched the gradual transformation. His lover may not have been aware but Blaine always eyed him up. The soft, boyish curving of his thin body intrigued. A chill wind off the river would cause his nipples to perk up. He would smirk when something in Vogue caught his interest. Toes would wiggle and then stray making contract with the hair on Blaine’s legs. They talked about music, school, the arts, plays, celebrities and themselves. The shy boy Blaine met on the stairs at Dalton slowly opened up like a rare flower. All the while Blaine felt the meshing of their lives in a way he still could not comprehend.

Hands tucked into his pockets, his mind shifted to Broadway. A few days ago he walked passed famous theaters marveling at the sights. Father, son and estranged lover appeared happy regardless of the haunting undertone no one wanted to discuss—cancer. Without trying Kurt wangled Blaine into helping keep things upbeat. By itself, this gave Blaine hope they could at least salvage a friendship. Deep down the teen knew that would not satisfy him. He wanted Kurt in his life forever.

For the first time in weeks Blaine did something selfless. Then he came home to what, a disaster which left him believing himself an awful son and lover. A moment of what he thought would have been a release became a prison which damned himself for the rest of his life. At night, when sleep finally came, he dreamt of two men dressed in jackets with tail walking horses down a path. Sadness filled their eyes as they argued about the difference between being proper and doing what their hearts told him. Proprietary won sentencing them to years of unhappiness.

Would the years be kind to his family? Would it be kind to him? Thinking about this only made his mood darker. If he could be turn back time he would but then what would that have taught him? Damned little. Leaning forward, Blaine rested his chin in his hands. The breath escaping his nose rose in large puffs of white. He should have brought gloves. His fingers froze.

In time the chill air and a numb bum compelled Blaine to move. Retreating to the car, he spun the engine up and blasted the heat. Sitting back he ran his hands through his hair undoing its careful placement. The body froze with his hands locked in his tight curls. Remaining there for a long moment and then he drew in a deep breath. Slowly leaning forward his head came to rest on the steering wheel. The head and eyes rolled up toward the sky. Torn amber-brown orbs circled down as salty water blurred his vision.

“What a fool you have been Blaine Anderson,” he moaned hoping someone might hear him.

Feeling less than a man and more like a child, Blaine wiped his eyes and sat up. A puzzling thought invaded his meandering mind making him fell suddenly less confused. The nose scrunched up as the eyebrows pulled together at the faint hint of car exhaust. In the rear view mirror he could see a large white cloud billow into the darkened sky.

Air forced through the vents warming the skin. Slipping his hands into his pockets he sat there staring and then glanced down at the center console. The display on his cell told him there had been several calls. He could only guess—mom and Cooper. Staring, he felt nothing. The oddness of his calm felt out of place but at these same time it soothed.

Time slipped by and the air about him became staler. Slowly his head moved from side to side. With a sigh he picked the mobile up and his fingers pressed buttons. He paid no attention to the ringing of the phone until he heard the service pick up.

“Kurt . . . err . . . hi . . . it’s Blaine. I just wanted to say hello.” A loud sigh escaped Blaine’s lips and his head drooped. “I’m at the rock. It’s been such a mess . . . mom and . . . I feel . . . I don’t know . . . Oh, you don’t want to hear this. Just have fun and enjoy the New Year with your dad.”

A finger smashed into the red phone symbol. Hard eyes fixed on the number and then Blaine frowned. Tossing the device onto the passenger seat Blaine eyes locked on it. The pumping of his heart became the ticking of the clock in his head. Losing track of everything he did not even blink.

A stark yawn broke his jarred his mind. Moaning, his eyes closed as the air rushing from the vents played through his messy hair. “Why the hell did I do that?”

The purring of the engine became his only company beside the drving snow. The wind gusted now and then casting white up into the air. Time passed but Blaine lost track.

“Who am I fooling, he no longer cares.” Blaine shifted in the seat pulling his legs up and crossing them. Knees resting against the wheel he yawned. “Little bastard. You’re a god damned bastard dad! I could never do anything good enough for you. Fuck, why do I even bother? You never cared . . . Kurt no longer cares. What is there them?”

Tears rolled down stubbly cheeks. He had let himself go over the past couple of days. His mom commented the five-o’clock shadow made him look handsome. He hated it like the hair growing on his chest. At this moment he disliked a lot of things about his life. Weeks of hell finally stripped the last of his strength. Glancing about, he looked at the moonlight shining down on the snow. “I have lived not even twenty years and life seems worthless.”

Having half expected a response the silence felt deafening. “You’re a stupid, useless fool.”

Wind rocked the little car causing Blaine to look up. Rolling his right hand over, he gazed at it and sighed. “All those sapping movies Kurt liked. Hollywood A-listers paid to pine over each other and make it believable, I’ve haven’t even seen a penny for this pile of shit.”

His head bobbed up and donw. “Sappy movies. Sappy songs. Where did they get us? Nowhere!”

A teen snorted to clear his throat as numbed senses lulled him. “Cooper . . . new beginnings . . . ha! It’s done.”

The head rolled on the back rest. The radio faintly played music from his cell. He listened as his eyes became harder to keep open. The run up of a song stirred Blaine’s mind and he began to sing. His words slurred.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e78hgMokz2I – sung by Darren Criss who pronounces ‘He’ or ‘He’ll in the famine but I’ll keep the male version.)

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by_   
_When hope was high_   
_And life worth living_   
_I dreamed that love would never die_   
_I dreamed that God would be forgiving_

_Then I was young and unafraid_   
_And dreams were made and used and wasted_   
_There was no ransom to be paid_   
_No song unsung_   
_No wine untasted_

_But the tigers come at night_   
_With their voices soft as thunder_   
_As they tear your hope apart_   
_As they turn your dream to shame_

_He slept a summer by my side_   
_He filled my days with endless wonder_   
_He took my childhood in his stride_   
_But he was gone when autumn came_   
_And still I dream he'll come to me_   
_That we will live the years together_   
_But there are dreams that cannot be_   
_And there are storms we cannot weather_

_I had a dream my life would be_   
_So different from this hell I'm living_   
_So different now from what it seemed_   
_Now life has killed_   
_The dream I dreamed_

Sad eyes swiveled to the roof and he smiled. Picking up his phone. Swiping to the gallery a picture of Kurt popped up. Taken only a few days ago, he leaned into to his father laughing. Rachel had joined them for dinner at a great Italian ma and pop place around the corner. Nothing went wrong that night. Kurt enjoyed and Blaine even found his foot pressing against his under the table. When Blaine moved his, that shoe found his ankle again.

Leaning back, the closed his eyes, a wave of tingling raced up his body. Feeling light-headed he let his head fall to the left. Narrow eyes looked out into the piles of snow made lighter by the brightness of the moon behind poking through the clouds.

“Maybe he’ll forgive me one day.” Blaine coughed and his head spun into a drowsy world.


	6. Yes, New Years Day

Water fell over the edge where it pooled before running away into the darkness. Loose strands of curly hair poked up out of the liquid like twigs in a pond. Faint ripples lashed against the peak of the forehead just above the eyes. The nose and lips floated just above the tiny waves. An elbow rested on the edge with the hand disappearing into slowly turning moisture. Inky redness pumped from the wrists resting on a naked torso.

Cares and woos faded in to emptiness. No thought. No emotion. No pain. Subtle motion became the only sign of life. The plunking of drops striking the water held a constant strength. It stimulated a part of the brain which revolted against constant droning. Two competing edges mixed creating something which caused a toe to twitch—music.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XM_uptMaaw Artist Theo Tams.)

_Never one to give up so you dig in your heels_   
_No matter how bad you know it feels_

Long ago a fragile mind stopped listening to the warning signs within the numbness.

_You say you're coming to terms with the way that you are_   
_But you've forgotten who you could be_

Thump and then a long break.

_Look up ahead, it's something beautiful_

Exaggerated beating slowed with shallower breathing.

_Do you feel at a crossroad?_   
_You wanna leave but you don't know_

Words vibrated through the water and the ears perked up.

_How to fly, how to let go, let go_

Fantasy overcame reality corrupting and draining the will.

_When you finally fit in, you never wanted to change_   
_It's so much safer to stay the same_

Shades of light, colour and darkness danced about each other creating an odd feeling of being adrift.

_But it's time to move on and the courage will come_   
_If you remember that you are free_

Something realized the irrational state of affairs.

_Look up ahead, it's something beautiful_

Thoughtless conflict twisted the stomach as if the body somehow screamed.

_Do you feel at a crossroad?_   
_You wanna leave but you don't know_

Uneasy currents turned the consciousness inside out or flipped upside down while tumbling sideways all at once.

_How to fly, how to let go, let go_

Moans and groans lapsed into melody.

_Forsaking all security, embracing the uncertainty_   
_And falling into this_

For a second the obscurity of a dreadful plight parted and the mind recognized the importance of right in left.

_Remember this before you leave, how simple that the truth can be_   
_You are human and you are free_

An abrupt flash of reality and blue eyes blinked.

_Look up ahead, it's something beautiful_

The emotions involved in shattered love invaded the dim leaving an impression of a gently touch.

_Do you feel at a crossroad?_   
_You wanna leave but you don't know_

Belief and idealism lurched grasping at fragmented sentience.

_How to fly, how to let go, let go_

A door opened just a notch bringing awareness.

_Do you feel at a crossroad?_   
_You wanna leave but you don't know_

The essence of reality shifted into soft words the mind comprehended.

_How to fly, how to let go, let go, let go_

The last vowel resonated through the synapses of the brain driving away the phantoms of hopelessness. A finger flicked and then fell still. Once again a burdened mind saw a flash of speckled blue as if someone stared at him. As swirl of brown hair with natural red highlights danced in the peripheral vision. Wetness glistened next to the bridge of the nose. The tear tumbled down a stubbled cheek as the image faded away into the morass of floundering thought. Time seemed to stand still.

The heart suddenly pulsed and then the chest exploded with coughing. The body rocked back and forth and the head stuck something hard and cold. Hazel eyes flung open and a hand came up to cover the mouth. Pain radiated out from Blaine’s lungs as the contents of his stomach rose in to his throat. Some aspect of a smothered mind grasped reality and the door he leaned against flung open. The blast of cold air brought life even as the rush from his stomach splashed onto the snow.

Choking and spitting, Blaine’s felt horrible. Shivering, the mind thrashed as it tried to find reason. By some means the body found the strength to grip the door handle. The stomach churned and he swallowed. Cheeks puffing acid rose in his throat and then he threw up again. The wretchedness of the bile dripping from his lips and the freshness of the air both revolted and renewed. The clouds kerbing rational thought dispersed leaving Blaine stunned.

Hauling himself out of the car, Blaine slid on the puke freezing to the parking lot. Barely catching himself he used the door frame to keep himself upright. Working around to the car hood, he flopped down up on with a loud thud. Banging his head on the cold metal car, Blaine chided himself for a long moment and then fell silent. Hands pressed into his face the sobs came without restriction. Uncontrollably quacking rocked the body forcing him to spread his legs wider to remain standing.

The sound of his heavy breathing broke the eeriness and then this he stomach rumbled. Sliding down the hood, he hung his head down and tossed the contents of his stomach yet again. Little came up but it hurt just the same.

Holding on to the lip in front of the windshield, Blaine did not move. Why did he allowed his despair to overcome his better judgment? How would he explain this to his mom? Could he even tell her? Cooper would be furious and protective. Kurt? What about Kurt? The man did not deserve this. Burt having cancer and the circumstance of the break up weighed heavily on Kurt. It lay heavily on Blaine.

Rolling his head, hazel eyes looked to the trees. There amongst the shadows and falling snow loomed the spot where he had cried weeks before. He stared for the longest time watching the moon slowly rise opposite the last rays of the sun. The patterns of brightness dancing across the fast moving clouds inspiring a dull mind. The flashing billboards of Time Square came to mind swelling his heart with regret. Drawing in a deep breath the cold air cleansed his lunges making him feel better. The taste in his mouth hinted of weakness.

White haze surrounded his head when he breathed out. The sound passing through his lips rung within chilled ears. The mind heard the words of a song once more. High, familiar notes played upon the edges of his consciousness like the whispering of angel. He knew the artist from the television but where had it come from?

Blaine wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Throwing himself on to the hood again the warmth radiating from the engine provided comfort. How he wished it had been Kurt holding him? Or his mother? No, Kurt. The tightness in his chest spoke of what could have been. He could have been skating right now. He could have seen their dreams come true. He could have had the strength to wait. He could have. He could have. He could have. He lost it all.

A cheek fell flat against the paint. The engine purred like a loud cat. He could not believe his life had come this far. The mind went numb. He missed Kurt so much. He loved him so much. He had been such a fool but this . . . ending his life . . . proved unfathomable. The thought brought more sobs as the brain battled with the shame. Had a destroyed life brought him to this . . . final outcome? No! Kurt? His mom? Dad? The bullying by a brother or in the halls of school. It all spiraled around him. He knew the car had slid into the snow bank. He smelt the fumes but did nothing. God’s, did he want this?

His chest heaved with a deep intake of air. Closing his eyes, Blaine felt sad. He felt happy. He felt so incredibly stupid. Biting his tongue just to prove he did not dream, incredible emotion etched through his ribs. The head came up and then he slowly stood. Wrapping his arms about his chest and looked up at the dark sky where the moon poked through the clouds.

Rocking his head from shoulder to shoulder, Blaine slowly turned around. With a sigh, he walked to the back of the car where the hot exhaust had melted the snow. His heart virtually stopped. If it had not happened he would be dead.

Crouching down, hs hands came up to his face. “What would my . . . mom, Cooper . . . gods, Kurt . . . think if . . . no . . . this was an accident.”

Silence prevailed for a long moment and then Blaine spat out some chunks stuck to his teeth. Making a face he glanced about and then stomped over to some fresh snow. Scooping a handful up he shoved it into his mouth and waited for it to melt. Swirling it about, he spat it out. Repeating the process several times he looked back at the car. Coils of exhaust rose from the tailpipe.

“Weak.” He moaned. “I am so . . . fuck’n . . . weak?”

His head drooped as his heart sunk. Looking back at the car the pool of freezing vomit made his stomach flip again. Hesitating his arms folded across his chest. The body shook and then he took an unstable step. Swallowing hard, he slowly walked to the car.

“Is this what is like to lose your soul?” Slumping down, he still could not believe what had almost happened. Bile rose in his throat.

When he calmed down, he looked to his left. His foot feel hard and then sank into the snow. Unable to find the phrases to express quivering caressing his form, he felt queasy. It one way it felt as if every cell in the body vibrated but in another way it felt as if the same cells wailed against it. The fear overwhelmed telling him to keep away.

Climbing back into the car he smelt vapors. Shutting the door then rolled the windows down and shifted the car into drive. Adding a little gas, the wheels spun and then the vehicle lurched forward a few yards. Setting the transmission to park and turning the engine off his head came to rest on the back of the seat. Breathing in and out, the clean air made him feel less light-headed.

“Or . . . is this what it takes to find it?” The words felt bitter.

Staring into the trees Blaine suddenly began to cough. The fit lasted for a while and when it stopped his throat felt raw and dry. Water rolled down his cheeks. Two hands pressed against those same eyes and his head bowed.

“Wow, Blaine, you almost did it this time. That a boy, good way to escape your problems.” He sighed and then suddenly made a face. Leaning over he pulled at the latch to the compartment between the seats. “I hope you kept the gum supply up, mom. My mouth tastes like Finn’s old socks.”

Extracting a package of gum, Blaine grinned. “At least one thing has gone right today.”

A nail dug into the plastic protecting the gum. When it popped he murmured. “It could be that easy. I wish love could be like that. So simple and so complicated at the same time.”

The right side of the face curled up into a smirk. He knew it off by heart without the aid of a mirror. Even though it had always been there he did not become aware of it until one fateful day he met Kurt. The idea it had been a special something for a special person warmed a chilled heart.

Looking to his right, his eyes fell upon the cell. Biting his lip, Blaine reached out and picked it. Grief-stricken eyes staring back at him in the glossy surface. He looked haggard but also like the handsome man Kurt had . . . might still . . . love.

“Look up ahead, it's something beautiful.” The words thumped in Blaine’s chest mirroring a high heartbeat. Each breath filled him with hope.

“That song?” The last word hung there. Fresh words echoed in his head. “Maybe it came to me to point they way to releasing my guilt?”

A finger pressed against the base of the phone disabling the security. Bravery touched a shattered heart and his fingers tapped until it stopped. Word and then a beep. Releasing a loud sigh he spoke in a meek voice, “Kurt, it's Blaine. Sorry about the last message. I just want to know how you are doing and I’m thinking of you. Please call me back. I . . . really . . . really . . . need to hear your voice.”

Unwilling to hang up, Blaine smiled as another tear etched a line down his cheek. Resisting the need to wipe it away he let it reach his jaw. It hung there for a while before falling to his jeans. He sniffled just before the final beep.

Large snowflakes dotted the windshield creating images of soft white flecks in the headlights. One deep breath and then another. His stomach settled and he no longer trembled even though the mind yelled at him. He needed time. He needed love. He needed to hear a voice. He needed to finally decide which way his life would go. New Years Day. He would wait that long.

He lost all track of time until the phone he clutched in his hand suddenly vibrated. Jumping, he almost fumbled the device. Panting Blaine swallowed and closed his eyes. It buzzed again and he blinked. The screen brightened and he finally noticed the call count. Sixteen missed text messages and five voice from different numbers—Cooper, mom, Sam and . . . dad? No Kurt. Disappointment rocked his heart.

Unable to move, he just stared until a partially nasty gust of wind burst through the window. Shocked back into reality, Blaine pressed the button to close it. Fear gripped him with the sound and the wobbly feeling returned. The mind flipped several times between fear and need. Sitting up straight he stuck his nose close to the narrow opening. Breathing in deeply soothed anxieties giving him a chance to rationally think.

“I can’t do this any more,” he moaned.

The body feel back in to the seat again. “It hurts too much.”

The cell he held struck the center console. “I just can’t.”

The finger around the phone had gone white with the tension. It vibrated as if it somehow knew. Clutching his chest he peered at the number and then scrambled to accept the call.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Sam’s voice exploded onto the phone.

Surprised, Blaine struggled with his thoughts. A human voice. He listened to a human voice. The heart froze. He could not tell Sam or anyone. They would not understand but his mom would know. She always knew.

“Jesus, Blaine!” Sam sounded no less calm.

Putting the phone between his legs, Blaine burying his head his hands and mumbled, “Sam?”

“Cooper called three times thinking I would know where you are.” Sam accented certain words.

In a mournful voice Blaine replied, “I needed to think.”

“Bloody hell, Blaine,” Sam sucked in an audible breath. “Everyone is worried about you.”

A frown pulled at Blaine’s lips. He had to tell. He needed to hide. He felt mortified. The strain in his tone revealed much. “I know.”

“Where are you?” The sharp edge to Sam’s tone had dropped.

Lowering his hands, Blaine tucked them in his pockets. His eyes went to the trees where ‘their’ rock lay next to the river. He sighed and a numbness ran up his back. Glancing in the rear view mirror he spied the frozen puke highlighted by the shimmering moon on snow. “I’m down by the river.”

“Blaine, what the hell is going on?”

“I’m sorry, you got involved, Sam.”

“Talk to me, damn it!”

“I just could not take any more. It’s been hard since I got back.”

“Is this all about Kurt?”

“I don’t want to speak about it.”

“Come off it Blaine!”

Blaine’s head sank. The only one person knew him better and he faced his own problems in a far off city. “It’s a little bit complicated.”

“Try me.” Sam’s voice sounded strained.

Blaine did not know how to respond. Without Kurt, Sam had become his best friends. They hung out and sang together just as Kurt and he had. A quivering ran up Blaine’s spine and his eyes narrowed.

“I know you’re still there I can hear you panting,” Sam’s voice had shifted from angered concern to caring. “Speak to me.”

Blinking and loudly exhaled, Blaine moaned, “I need a coffee.”

A relieved sigh passed through the phone. “I’ll let Cooper know I’ve found you but I’ll won’t tell him where. Meet me at the LImabean. I think it’s open.”

“Until midnight.” The discomfort in his chest waned.

“I am calling you back when I am done with her brother. Just show up.”

“Okay, okay. You’re all heart today Sam.”

“You scared the shit out of me, bro.”

“Sorry.”

“Blaine, I can’t have my best bud swimming under the ice.”

The former Warbler laughed. It felt good. Dear Sam. The heart fluttered in an unexpected way.

The coffeehouse had a large clientele for nine in the evening the day before New Year’s Eve. People sat about talking and laughing giving the venue an electric atmosphere. Standing in the door he could not remember the last time he had been here. Raw memories lived at almost every table and for a moment he almost bolted. Steeling his nerve he drew in a long breath of air smelling roasted coffee. It soothed.

Sam rose from a coveted window seat when Blaine approached him. Wrapped his arms about his friend blond teen pulled Blaine in to a friendly hug. A week ago Blaine hugged Kurt at the skating ring and melted. Tonight, Sam’s close proximity created tingling down in his midsection. The former Warbler did not like where his mind went but he could not deny his thoughts. The way he walked and those lips mesmerized. In someways it felt creepy but in others it made Blaine fell alive.

Guilt struck and Blaine quickly withdrew. Turning away he did not want Sam to see the heat rising in his cheeks, His breath caught and conflicted thoughts crashed against what had happened earlier. God no! Did these feelings mean Kurt meant nothing? Stuggling to swallow he splayed his fingers wide and let out a short puff of air.

“Blaine?” Sam gave his friend a look.

Standing next to his friend made Blaine feel rather awkward and nervous in the weirdest way. Gathering his thought became harder than he wished. The feeling of his life slipping away lingered like a tooth ache.

Green eyes narrowed as if Sam sensed something. The grin which followed spoke of concern. “Took your time. I thought I would have to dredge the river.”

Slipping his coat off, Blaine mumbled. “Sam, I’m sorry.”

Carefully folded his scarf and placed it on the table. Hazel eyes roamed Sam. The blond bright red sweatshirt the blond wore made Blaine smile. He looked great. Blaine’s stomach rolled leaving him feeling anxious and a little angry.

Looking down at the large cardboard cup on the table, Sam grinned. “Go get yourself something. I’m not going anywhere.”

Smiling at his friend, Blaine headed for the lineup. Standing there as it inched forward, he considered the day. Cooper probably roped Sam into being the search party because he knew Blaine habits. Knowing at least two people cared for him lifted Blaine’s spirits. He could forgive Kurt but then he also felt let down. He had honestly thought they had gotten over that hump but, then, he no longer knew. The teen with the green eyes proved steadfast and true. Well, Kurt had too . . . until recently and then . . . Weakness brought this on himself and now he paid the price.

Standing in the short line made him think of Kurt and the day they both admitted they had been someone’s boyfriends before. The sentiment moved him. Butterflies filled his stomach as a bead of sweat edged down his back. The boy took his breath away. He still did but then? Hazel eyes went back to the corner where Sam stared out the window. A large puff of air raced through his nose.

It took a while for him to get his coffee and something to snack on before he returned to Sam. Blaine sat with a huff and tossed a bag of cookies on the table.

“It’s good to see you know my stomach?” Sam calmly acknowledged his friend.

“Thanks.” Blaine grinned as he cupped his hands around the hot cardboard cup. His fingers quivered with the thumped in his chest. Fear etched an ugly line across his heart. Mom, dad, Sam, Kurt and death swirled like a tornado within his mind.

“You alright?” The weakness in Sam’s voice gave his feelings away.

Blaine lied. “I think so.”

“We’re you running from your parents or Kurt?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s simple English though I could make it difficult if you like.”

Frowning, Blaine sat back and sipped his coffee. His brows folded into each other and then he pushed his lips out. Finally he admitted, “Both.”

A grin parted Sam’s lips. “Now that you got it off you chest, where do you want to start?”

Sadness filled hazel eyes. Having Sam so close felt good. Being apart from Kurt hurt beyond anything he had felt before. Yes, New Years Day. Survival demanded it.

“I know you. You’re a broader . . . no brooder.” The blond’s face pulled together. “That’s it brooder. Now out with it.”

Giving Sam odd look, Blaine sipped his mocha. The pump in his chest thumped against his ribs. Gritting his teeth, he decided to be up-front. “My dad beat-up my mom when I was in New York.”

“No?” Sam almost dropped his coffee. His eyes bulged wide.

“Mom and Cooper didn’t want to ruin my trip so they didn’t tell me until I got back. Cooper picked me up at the airport and it took forever to get it out of him.”

“Blaine, I never realized.”

“And Kurt’s dropped off the radar. He hasn’t returned a call since I left.”

“You were getting along?”

“Burt was there.”

“Maybe he and his father have been busy. There’s lots to see in New York.”

“I’ve thought of that.”

“You said you sang together like old times.”

“Yeah we did.” Blaine frowned. The two friends had not seen each other since Blaine returned home. They talked over the phone a few times but not much else. Sam’s family visited.

Shifting in his seat, Sam looked as if he played poker. “So this is more to do with your family.”

“Yes, but . . . I will have to wait and see what happens with Kurt. He has a lot on his plate with . . .”

“With?”

Blaine sighed. “I should not be telling you this but Burt has cancer.”

Sitting back, Sam’s face went pale. “Oh my god. How’s he doing?”

“They caught it early. He’s starting treatments in January. Please keep it to yourself.”

“Okay. And Kurt?”

“Shocked. Upset. Being Kurt.”

“Burt wanted you to help.”

“Yes, but I think he would like to see Kurt and me patch it up.”

Gazing into Blaine’s light brown eyes, Sam pointedly asked, “You still love him?”

“I don’t . . . yes . . . very much.” Blaine’ face softened as he fondly smiled. He blushed. How could he be looking at Sam like that?

Sam leaned forward.

Blaine bit his lip.

Sam said, “Look, bro, we all knew what both you and Kurt can be like.”

“Yeah.” Blaine’s voice shook. A single word echoed in his head. He thought he had calmed his nerves.

Sam smirked. “Come off it Blaine, Kurt has a martyr complex.”

Chuckling, Blaine smiled. “Thanks Sam. I needed that.”

“We all have bad days Blaine.” Sam sat back and sipped his coffee.

“That’s the half of it.” Blaine held back what he wanted to say. He could tell Sam remained unconvinced. Shame and angry battled beneath his ribs.

“So are you coming to the party tomorrow night?”

Folding to hands on the table with elbows pressed side by side, Blaine hesitated. “I don’t know.”

“You can ripe your shirt off again.” Sam winked. “Tina liked it.”

Blaine rolled his eyes and burst in to a large smile.

“Come one Blaine, it will give you a break from home.” Sam cocked his head to one side as his eyebrows rose. “Who knows, Kurt might call.”

“I don’t know about that.” Blaine looked dejected. Gum and coffee had not rid his mouth of the taste of vomit. It remained there like a stain reminding him of his failure. “As I said, Burt’s still there.”

“More the . . .” Sam stopped suddenly. “Is that you phone?”

“Probably Cooper.” Blaine intended to ignore it.

“You had better pick it up.” Sam pointed at Blaine’s jacket. “He’ll want to give you shit.”

Shaking his head, Blaine fumbled for the phone and then his chin dropped.

“What?” Sam whispered.

Blinking, Blaine expression softened. Activated the phone he visibly shuddered. Eyes closed squishing the wetness on to the lashes. His voice came out low and husky. “Hey . . . Kurt.”


	7. Sin Against the Soul

A tear ran down a cheek followed by a heavy sigh. Hazel eyes scanned up the body of his best friend, his lover and husband to a quiet and stunning face. So beautiful and complete. Never had he met someone more human. His passion for life and all it offered marked his passage through time. The touch of his hand and a beating heart overcame the personal monsters stalking all living things—loathing and inner doubt. 

His head tilted to the left and the remaining strands of curly hair caught in an old sweater. Where had all those gorgeous curls gone? Sad eyes glanced to the wall. Kurt and Blaine in the park with the kids. Kurt and Blaine at dinner. The two at Blaine’s high school graduation. In them all they both had robust heads of hair. Kurt dyed his locks until the demons of vanity and celebrity faded. As the years passed they learned to laugh at those demons. Yes, they continued to deal with their issues. Yes, they always loved each other even in the darkest of times

For Blaine, the worst point marked the climax of a year. An old man recalled the suffering and the deep underlying desire. Hazel plus blue equaled love from the first moment their orbs met. The adoring and sometimes dismissive man held Blaine together. Then came a sin against the soul. At night he tossed in his sweat as the horrible truth gnawed a hole in his heart. Old Blaine remembered barely talking to his father. His friends knew something bothered him. A teen covered it up by allowing Sam to tell his friend about his parents. It eased the questions but not the terror gripping a young mind. 

Regret touched an already fragile heart. Blaine kept the truth of his greatest failure from his mom. She lived a wonderful life filled with the joys of loving sons, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Even as she lay in a bed looking up at her son with bright eyes Blaine’s heart locked up a damning secret. When the moment of her last breath approached, Blaine held her hand tightly in his. Kurt stood beside him with his hand on his husband’s shoulder. Pam’s eyes spoke of love and a hidden truth. When she finally passed, Blaine felt a dark spot on his heart lift. Somehow his mother knew.

Pain crashed in to an ailing heart. An old man stiffened. Such emotion hurt a decaying body. All his life he had called it an accident. Only once did he admit otherwise. Until that time he suffered in silence. The lesson learned turned out harder than he thought. An infatuation with a dear friend troubled Blaine but it also allowed him an outlet for harmful emotions. An awkward conversation with Kurt that dreadful night eased a shredded heart. Sporadic conversations followed an unfulfilled vow.

February started off with a bang—Kurt blew up. His former boyfriend called out of the blue upset about something which ended headed for Cheating Avenue. Blaine counted with text cheating and then it went downhill from there. Dear Sam held his hand, well not literally, during the two days it took for him to calm down. 

Days later a young man sat on his bed fully clothed. Leaning against huge pile of pillows, he pulled the comforter up to keep the chill off from the partially open window. Intent eyes studied the course catalog of several colleges and universities. He had told Kurt he wanted to go to NYADA but now he had second thoughts. New York University had good performing arts program. Cooper told him to go to the University of South California. The west coast felt like a defeat. Two ex-lovers may not be seeing eye-to-eye but the connection between them held by a fraying thread. 

Blaine sighed. He felt wore. The last few days had been especially hard. Shaking his head, he looked out the window where the wind howled driving a combination of snow and ice. The sound thrashing trees reminded Blaine of his flighty moods. New York University? The idea both excited and worried him. It would put him in the same city as Kurt. Would it put them at odd if they remained estranged? Did he even want to be in that huge city if he did not have Kurt in his life? Maybe California? What about Toronto? Maybe . . . a shiver ran up his spine leaving a foul taste in his mouth. 

Turning another page, he studied the course before him—dance. A smirk twisted lips and then his eyes shot open. A bang out in the hall and raised voices dug into the teen. Covering his eyes with the palms of his hands, Blaine tried to keep it altogether. He sat there looking out the window. Running his hands through his hair. His mind spiraled back to a snowy parking lot. The pain in a young man’s chest spread into his back.

Suddenly his cell vibrated. Shocked back to reality he turned toward the nightstand. A number flashing on the screen—New York. His heart virtually stopped and then he jumped to pluck up the phone.

“Kurt?” Blaine could not believe Kurt had called. He listened and then added, “Okay, give me one sec.”

Hanging up, Blaine stared at the rectangular device for a few seconds and then let out a sigh. They had not Skyped since the mishap which caused everything. His finger shook as he tapped on the symbol. The program loaded agonizingly slow. Scrolling down the list of people, he hesitated. Their last conversation ended in complete disaster. What could he possibly want? What if this ended in another fight? How would he handle it? Still, Kurt called and wanted to talk. How could he say no?

A handsome young man felt nervous as the sounds of call being made filled his ears. Then it disappeared and Kurt’s beautiful face filled the screen. The man on the other end stared back causing Blaine’s breath to catch in his throat. Those incredible blue eyes captured him again. 

“Hi.” Blaine sounded tentative.

Kurt nervously shuffled. “Hi.”

Blaine’s heart fluttered. What to say and when it came out he felt less than impressed with himself. “This is a surprise.” 

“Yeah.” Kurt’s face showed the struggle he tried to hide.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I saw Burt the other day. We met for coffee.”

“He tells me he is doing alright. He’s never been a good liar.”

“Your father would never lie to you Kurt. You probably already know the treatments have gone well.”

“The side effects.”

“He looked real good, Kurt. When I saw him two weeks ago he looked . . . Let’s not go there.”

“I can’t imagine if . . .”

“It’s not going to happen Kurt. They caught it early.”

“But he’s still working.”

“He’s attending committee meetings and not much else.”

Kurt nodded his head. “I’ll need to . . .”

Watching Kurt suffer caused pain in Blaine’s chest. “You sure you’re alright?”

Kurt sat on his bed in the loft in New York. The light did not give itself to a bright background but Blaine noticed Kurt pale. At the same moment his eyes caught sight of something on is bed stand—a ring made of bubble gum wrappers. His chest tightened because it had not been there when he visited at Christmas. 

Wide-eyed, Kurt just stared. “What am I going to do without him?”

“Listen to me, Kurt.” Blaine leaned closer do his face would fill the entire screen on the other side. “Your father will be fine. The treatments have kicked him but he’s upbeat and Carole tells me he is still making his stupid jokes.”

Face hardening, Kurt backed away. “Why is it you know more than I do?”

“As I said, I saw him only a few days ago. He knows you’re busy at school.” Blaine felt the trap tighten around him. He sighed. “Let’s not fight?” 

“Yes . . .” Kurt looked upset. His head dropped. ”Let’s not fight,” 

Fearing he would be cut off, Blaine shuffled forward on the bet. “Kurt?”

“Sorry . . .” Kurt blinked and half smiled. “I’ve been worried. He is not giving me a straight answer and you have always been honest with me.”

The adorable man played aloof but Blaine understood the soft side beneath the tough exterior. When they first met it irritated him but then he came to accept it. School had not been easy on him. Separation from friends and family wore Kurt down. Yes, he had Rachel but things had changed so much. Kurt had changed but then he had not.

The subtle touch of guilt nagged at Blaine making him fell less than the buoyant young adult he knew himself to be. As good of an actor he could be, he knew he could never hide from Kurt.

“Errr . . . maybe I should get going.” Blaine felt awkward and at slightly sad. “I know you would like to call your dad and I don’t want to keep you.”

The handsome young man on the screen blinked as if he had not expected the statement. “Blaine, you don’t . . . have to.”

“Kurt, I . . .” Blaine his hand up to his face and brush the stray hair away. In reality he fought with this conversation. Something felt off. 

“Blaine, can I speak, please?” Kurt looked shaken up.

Blaine softly replied in a gravely tone, “Okay.”

Kurt just sat there gazing into the camera. Terror touched Blaine’s heart. Those wonderful blue eyes narrowed and his skin tone paled ever so slightly. It always happened when Kurt considered something serious. 

“Blaine,” The man in New York closed his eyes. When they opened he softly added, “I owe you a big apology.”

Blaine’s eyebrows shot up. Wow? What? 

Kurt went on knowing all too well what the look meant. “The last time we talked I was acting like an ass. I’m sorry.”

A bead of sweat rolled down his back even though the room felt cool. The look on his face must have shocked Kurt because he backed away from the camera. 

“I can make excuses but then . . .” Kurt grinned and looked away. “Maybe I should . . .”

“No, Kurt . . . please . . . It’s okay,” Blaine half lied. Estranged or not, Blaine cared for Kurt. He always would.

“No, Blaine, it’s not. Someone hacked the computers at NYADA and . . . well . . . you know the rest.”

Blaine’s expression changed. “Kurt?”

“Rachel received a message from Finn that got her really upset. When she got hold of him it all became clear very quickly.” The look on Kurt’s revealed his shame. “Look, I’m really sorry. I know I shouldn’t have but I went right off the deep end. Whoever did this read my journals and emails?”

Dark brows squished together as Blaine straightened his back. “And made it look as if I sent something?”

Kurt nodded. “Yeah.”

Brows pushing toward the center, Blaine considered what he had just been told. “I get this but . . . with the rest of it . . .”

Kurt looked worried. “It?”

The lump in Blaine’s throats hardened. “Let’s just say New Year’s was a complete bust.”

“Your parents?” Kurt gave his ex-boyfriend and sympathetic look. He had felt Daniel’s wrath more than once.

A frown marred Blaine otherwise perfect face as agony exploded in his heart. Breathing in, he wanted to tell all but then he could not.

“Sorry.” Kurt swallowed. “And I just brushed you off. 

“Your words more than stung . . .” Sudden shame struck Blaine with the sharpness of his tone. Bowing his head he said, “Sorry, Kurt. That was cruel of me.”

Pushing his lips from side to side, Kurt admitted, “No need. I deserved it.”

Glancing away for a fewf seconds Blaine looked back and asked, “Where does this leave us?”

The young man on the other side of the connection remained silent as his face contorted ever so slightly. Then he looked right at Blaine and stated, “We’re friends? Right?”

The look on Blaine’s face mirrored the detonation against his ribs. “I hope?”

“We’re friends, Blaine,” Kurt enforced with a slightly raised voice. “You’re my best friend.”

Biting his tongue, Blaine whispered, “Yeah.”

“Things might be complicated with me seeing . . .” Kurt suddenly stopped as if he realized something. His cheeks flushed pink. 

The Titanic sank deep within Blaine’s chest. That word—seeing—meant only one thing—Kurt had moved on. Salty water balled up in the corners of his eyes as his forehead scrunched up. He hand never considered this possibility. The chest rose with a huge intake of air and then fell hard. In that second he sat in a car breathing in toxic fumes. Even muscle in his body felt life rubber as that horrible sensation encroached on his hopes and dreams. The knot in his stomach pulled his intestines tight. Keeping it down became difficult.

“Blaine?” Kurt’s voice rose in pitch and volume and his face sagged. 

Drawing in another deep breath, Blaine sat there and then he looked up. Terror ringed those wonderful blue eyes where tears welled up. One rolled down a cheek and Blaine wanted to reach up and wipe it away. Kurt had moved on. 

Pain flashed across Kurt’s brow. “Blaine, don’t look that way.”

Biting his lip, the curly headed teen closed his eyes.

“Blaine, please don’t.”

“Kurt . . . how do expect me to feel?’

“Disappointed. Sad. Angry.”

“Let down. I . . . still . . .”

“Blaine, please. I don’t want to open old wounds. I just want us to be friends . . . best friends.”

“Yes . . . friends.” Blaine did not sound convinced. 

“Yes, friends.” Repeating the words and infliction revealed Kurt’s hesitation. 

Blaine’s stomach turned as stubborn hope failed. His eyes became blurry as he fought to keep the torrent of emotions in check. The best thing in his life had be lost forever. The heart screamed. He should have died. The pain spread down to the bottom of his feet. A hand came up and reached for the off switch.

“Blaine!” Kurt wailed at the motion.

Blaine stopped. Hazel eyes closed as the hopes of youth spiraled down the drain. The pounding in his chest ripped at his ribs and tore at his temples. Slowly the head fell further to his chest as his palms covered his eyes. Lost. Ruined. Alone. Deceitful. Coward. Loser. Disloyal hurt the most. 

“Blaine, please speak to me?” Kurt pleaded. Leaning toward the camera so his face enlarged on the screen. He looked worried.

Shaking his head ever so slightly, Blaine fought to restrain his angry thoughts. In a strained voice he murmured, “Nothing.”

Honest concerned Kurt sort of grinned. “Come off it, Blaine. I know you and that is not your happy face.” 

“No, it’s . . . what’s the . . .” Blaine slammed his lips tight as he turned away from the camera. The aching in his chest made it hard to breath. 

Running his hand through his hair, Kurt reached out as if he might cancel the connection and then he hand fell. “Blaine, I don’t expect you to understand or even accept but I needed . . .”

“Kurt, don’t explain it to me,” Blaine glanced back at the camera. His eyes looked red. “I understand more than you can believe and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Ever since that night everything had been a fuck’n mess.”

“Blaine?” Kurt choked. Blaine rarely swore.

‘What do you . . .” Blaine covered his eyes again and shook his head. “Let’s just say, other than a few high points the last few months sucked.” 

Neither spoke nor looked at each other. Neither hung up. Biting his lower lip, Kurt muttered, “Christmas?”

Blaine tried to smile it felt like too much work. “And Thanksgiving. You have no idea how much that call meant to me. Seeing you at Christmas felt so . . . perfect. Then back home to a pile of . . . shit.”

“Blaine, I know you’re upset with me but . . . I don’t want to go there. I’m knew you’re family life was not the best. New Years shocked me.”

The spike in Blaine chest scared the teen. Not go there? Hell! Hurtful tingling ran down both arm and legs. It felt strongest on the left. Sweat spotted his forehead.

“Blaine, please don’t look like that. I’m sorry.” Kurt bit his lip. “Damn it, Blaine!”

The tone forced Blaine to stare.

Sighing the words passing over Kurt’s lips came out calmer. ”I miss you.” 

The words tore in to Blaine and he turn away. He missed Kurt but then he, Blaine did not want to think of it. 

“Bugger it, Blaine,” Kurt pulled his words up short and drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t want it to go this way.”

“Too late.” Blaine moaned.

Rolling his head, Kurt leaned toward the camera. “I miss talking to you. I miss laughing with you. I miss your voice and that sexy smile. I miss singing with you. You will always be my best friend.”

Confused, Blaine blurt out. “Jesus, Kurt, what do you want from me? You tell me you want to be friends but then . . .”

Kurt’s head fell. Horrible silence. It lasted for what felt like an eternity. 

He could not do this. Not again. The words. The looks. It killed him. Emotion overpowered thought and Blaine abruptly yelled, “I still love you.”

There, the zipper fell and it all hung out. Now came the internal battle on either side to recover from a subject neither of them had been ready to deal with. Regardless of the awkwardness, Blaine felt good. Kurt’s face had fallen even though Blaine noted the twinkle in his eyes. 

The man on the screen blinked and then he glanced away. To the untrained eye it appeared normal, but Blaine knew better. Regret flared deep within his chest. Trembling, Blaine said in a tone which could barely be heard, “I should go.”

Blue eyes locked on hazel. ”Blaine, please . . . don’t.” 

“I . . . I . . .” Blaine shook his head and his head fell to the left as he looked away. 

Kurt’s lips pulling in to his mouth and then said in a low, sad voice. “I . . . like you.”

Like? Like had many meanings but not love. Unnerving silence returned and Blaine looked out the window. It snowed in earnest now, just like New Years. Closing his eyes a tear squeaked out and down his cheek. 

“Ah . . . are you going to . . . Mr. Schuester’s wedding?” Kurt suddenly blurt out as if he tried anything to prevent either of them from hanging up.

The sudden heavy pounding inside Blaine’s chest almost bowled him over. The colour drained from his face. Awkward swallowing Blaine questioned, “What?”

“Are you going to the wedding?” Kurt tried to smile. His eyes looked red and puffy.

“Wow.” Blaine held a hand against his chest. “That came out of right field.” 

Gloomy blue eyes stared back. “I . . . just didn’t . . . sorry.”

“Kurt, it’s okay.” Blaine gave him a weak smile. The palpitating of his heart matched the beat of a rock band. “Are you bringing . . .?”

“No!” The word exploded from Kurt’s mouth without a once of thought. Stumbling to recover, he added, “Are you going . . .?”

Arching his back to release the tension in his shoulders Blaine wondered why they talked about this. The conversation killed him. He should hang up but he could not. Wiping his eyes he said in an almost normal tone. “Tina asked me but Mercedes got to me first.”

“Mercedes will be there?” Kurt sounded surprised.

“Yeah. She called me in early January.” The difficulty Blaine experienced must be playing on his face. “It think Tina’s going with Mike.”

“Oh?” Kurt looked almost hurt.

The look on Kurt’s face amused Blaine. His ex-boyfriend fought with himself just as Blaine did. Breathing in, Blaine tried to sound upbeat. “I don’t think Mercedes would mind if you joined us. I think she would all love to see you. They all would.”

“Even you?” The words sound tentative. 

Blaine did not know why he followed along. He literally had to pinch himself to say right thing. “Even me.”

“Maybe we can sing together.”

“I was asked to sing at the reception.”

“Fun.”

“You want to join me?”

“If it wouldn’t freak you out.”

“You choose a song we both know.”

“I can do that.”

Blaine landed on his back with a shit eating grin on his face. Three hours before Kurt had fished the room key out of his pocket. Minutes later his ex-boyfriend pulled a fussy haired in to a dark hotel room with a big, silly smirk. Blaine expected something raunchy but the opposite happened. Kurt took command and with tender care removed Blaine’s tie while smothering him in tender caresses and passionate kisses in the soft spot behind his ear. Expert fingers found the ticklish point in the small of his back under the belt line. 

Blaine melted into him. His head tumbled back allowing Kurt access. The wedding might fizzled but the jilted groom insisted the party go on. After some reluctance, the festivities swing in to full swing. For two ex-lovers it felt like the old days. Kurt and Blaine sang, danced and made all sorts of jokes and now, this. The man Blaine had hurt months before slowly undressed him with compassionate warmth. 

A jacket fell to the floor as a light lips sucked on Blaine’s clavicle while nimble digits disarmed the buttons protecting the last vestige of Blaine’s control. His mind yelled at him to stop but then a warm tongue racked his sternum. Overwhelmed with emotion and unbridled longing, the warnings of his mind crumbled as he threw himself at Kurt.

The two toppled to the bed as Blaine’s tongue reached deep into Kurt’s throat. Restraint failed. Everything he felt for the past few months spiraled away leaving incredible renewal. Since his fall from grace he had been starving for the taste of Kurt. He wanted Kurt on top of him. The man’s tongue and lips everywhere on his body. He longed for the taste Kurt’s sweat as his gently entered him. He wanted everything they lost back. 

After they had satisfied Blaine’s months of abstinence, they lay together looking at each another. For Blaine it felt like their first time where hazel drifted within pools of sparkling blue. It had been flawless and all so real. It, however, did not surprise Blaine when Kurt pulled away and stood. For a second Blaine felt the shame of a one-night stand. 

Now Blaine lay there alone bathed in the loving afterglow. Pulling the pillow Kurt had laid against to his chest, Blaine burying his head in to it. A familiar scent enticed the nose. The locks on a damaged heart split apart giving the smiling man a brilliant new hope. Hazel eyes went the door. For a second he recalled the look in his ex-lover’s eyes when he glanced back. Kurt had enjoyed and now struggled with what he initiated.


	8. Trapped

Ever since Valentine’s Day aborted wedding Kurt and Blaine had been getting along. Well, as good as it could be considering Kurt dated someone. The real talking did not start until mid-March. Like their weekend of sexual excitement, Kurt started it. The first senually veiled statement caught Blaine off guard though the meaning found its mark. People talked in the background. Rachel and Santana debated something accompanied by a male voice he did not know. The person called to Kurt who told him he spoke to his father. As the day wore on the nagging comment tugging at Blaine’s sentiment. Did Kurt fool himself? Why did Kurt say such a think? Did he try to make his new interest jealous? Why?

Ex-boyfriends talked more spawning more questions. What did Kurt and his new . . . person do together? Did they hold hand walking down the street? What plans had they made from their future? Had the ‘L’ word floated between them? Blaine avoided the term. From the little details Kurt divulged, it seemed his new boyfriend’s interests might be a bit dull. Yes, the slightly older fellow liked music but some of Kurt’s remarks made Blaine think they butted heads on this topic. Blaine tried his best but every so often something emotional slipped. On one hand he did not want to make Kurt uncomfortable but then he wanted to know.

The more Kurt revealed Blaine’s brooding intensified. Valentines hung there like a raw sore leaving Blaine with a deep emptiness. He missed the closeness, the tender touches and, yes, their heated discussions. Unable to forget the the way his butt felt by the end of the weekend, a teen found himself remembering uncomfortable sensations. Dark clouds hovered on the edge his thoughts dropping light flakes of snow. At night he woke believing himself to be stuck behind metal and glass. Lying there, everything closed in upon him making it hard to draw in air. A pillow became his closest friends as he pushed his face in to it.

A cardboard cup hitting the tabletop caused BlaIne to sharply breathe in. Streams of light flashed through the mists driving the gloom away. A shadow moved to his right and left leaving a warmth in their wake. Blinking he glanced at the two people across from him. One gave the other a sideways look as if she disagreed with a statement.

“. . . not like it makes a difference,” a familiar female tone tickled the ears.

“He needs to get over himself,” Burt commented as he picked up his coffee. The lack of hair did not bother him. He had little to begin with. The treatments had robbed him of all of it but it grew back. The colour had returned to his cheeks and he looked more alive.

Blaine tried not to laugh as he cleared his throat. New thought opened his wind pipe giving him a chance to relax. Looking away, hazel eyes scanned the Limabean. It did a brisk business on a lazy Friday afternoon. Burt greeted Blaine with a warm hug and a big squeeze. The two had grown closer over the weeks. Blaine had taken shifts taking care of Burt during the worst. He insisted. Carole needed a break ever so often.

Carole’s eyebrows went up.

Rolling his eyes, Burt smirked over the edge of his cup. “Yeah, he does.”

“Burt?” Carole quietly chastised. A bag sat by her feet. She had been shopping with Blaine. Burt joined them about a half hour go.

Glancing at his wife, Burt sipped his drink. His eyes went to Blaine. “I don’t like this Adam.”

“Not here Burt,” Carole shot a quick look at Blaine.

Uncomfortable described what Blaine felt but then he also found it amusing. Gulping down a portion of his mocha, Blaine tried to hide his shock. While he might privately agree with Burt, he had no business getting involved in internal Hummel politics. Being blunt had never been a problem for Burt. Blaine liked it because his father spent forever beating around the bush unless he had a few drinks in him.

“Uh . . . yeah.” Burt frowned. His eyes went to Blaine and he winked.

Carole swatted her husband on the arm wile giving Blaine an apologetic look.

“Well I don’t.” Burt defended himself. “He’s a bit of a snot.”

Carole shook her head. ‘Honestly, Burt? You met him only once.”

“That’s all it took.” Burt’s face grew hard.

Gazing at Blaine, Carole shrugged.

“You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better,” Blaine bravely stated. He heart pounded in his chest. He tried not to let uncomfortable emotions show.

“Just telling the truth.” Burt’s nose rolled up and then his drank his coffee. “When I met him, he tried too hard impress me.”

“Sorry, Blaine” Carole gave the young man a sympathetic look and then glanced at her husband. “He’s not coming so you don’t have to see him.”

Grinning Blaine felt the heat grow up his neck. He said in a soft tone, “I tried to impress you in the beginning by showing up at the garage to talk about . . . things.”

Smiling, Burt responded, “That showed a lot of courage, character and the fact you cared about my boy.”

Blaine blushed.

Carole gave both men an odd look.

Burt went on, “Kurt gets in late tomorrow afternoon. You want to come to the airport with us. I know he would love to see you.”

“I think I should wait,” Blaine said the right thing even though his heart screamed at him.

Burt pushed. “You know he would like it.”

“Let him think.” Carole poked her husband in the ribs.

Taking her hand in his, Burt smiled and then gently kissed it. Longing struck leaving Blaine feeling left out. To keep his mind from going off on a tangent, the teen concentrated on the facts. The day after they had fallen into one another’s arms, a gaggled of friends met nurse hangovers. When it broke up Kurt asked Blaine wanted to go for a walk. Secretly having no intension of saying no, Blaine hymned and hawed for a while. They ended up at the Hummel house only to discover Burt and Carole had gone out. The conversation finished with Kurt plowing himself deep inside Blaine for the second time in twenty four hours. Switch-hitting allowed Blaine to return the favour. When the parents got home they found the freshly showered boys in the kitchen laughing and stuffing their faces with cheese and crackers.

There would be no ‘I’m sorry’ or pleading this time. Blaine wanted it to be natural even though he would find flirty hard to resist. The intoxicating young man played outrageously one call and the next would leave Blaine feeling as if he had fallen into a pit of ice. Every so often Blaine would get the opinion Kurt had someone there with him. Oddly, Kurt never hung up.

Glancing at Burt and Carole, Blaine leaned back. Would he restrain himself when Kurt stepped out from the security area? Could he restrain himself? The anticipation literally made him vibrate.

One of Burt’s newly grown eyebrows went up as if he sought an answer.

Taking a draft of his drink, Blaine felt giddy. “Yes, I would like to go.”

Clapping his hands in front of him, Burt fought a smile. Since Christmas Blaine knew where Burt’s sentiment lay when it came to the two boys. Cutting Adam down before him had not been a blunder. Burt worked in Washington where you quickly learned to say a lot with few words. Burt did not need to learn.

“You sure, dear,” Carole cautioned. Her eyes wearily went to the man holding her hand.

“Kurt and I may not be in a relationship any more but he’s still my best friend.” Blaine’s brows pressed together as if he suddenly had an idea. His eyes shifted right and left the he looked down to his left hand. A finger twitched up and down.

“Blaine?” Carole softly asked.

“Just thinking of the look on his face.” Blaine softly replied.

Burt grinned. “Just like Christmas.”

“Yeah, just like Christmas.” Blaine rubbed his finger.

“Great,” Burt nodded. “We’ll be by about ten tomorrow to pick you up.”

“I’ll be ready.” Blaine smiled at Burt. “Are you going to tell him?’

“And ruin the surprise, never.” Burt had a twinkle in his eyes.

“You’re incorrigible . . .” Carole looked away to the door. “Isn’t that Sam?”

Turning around in his chair, Blaine smiled. Sam stood in the door looking around as he rubbed his hands together. Water soaked his jeans halfway up the shin and his jacket hung down past his butt. Dripping water pooled at his feet. Standing, Blaine waved to get the blond’s attention.

Sam blinked and gestured back. Making his way through the maze of tables, he greeted Blaine with a brotherly hug. Letting his friend go, he turned to the adults. “Mr. and Mrs. Hummel, how nice to see you. You look good Mr. Hummel.”

“Burt and Carole will do and thank you,” Burt stood and lifted the coat from the back of Carole’s chair.

“You’re leaving?” Sam gave the adults a curious look. “I hope I am not interrupting.”

“No, no. I got what I wanted,” Burt looked to Blaine.

Carole gave her husband a hard looked as she held out her arms.

Burt slipped her jacket up to her shoulders and said to the boys, “We’re having a small get together tomorrow evening. Why don’t you come and bring some of your friends with you. I’m sure they would all like to see Kurt.”

Sam gave him teen with the gelled down hair a look. Blaine shrugged and then Sam looked to Burt. “Okay, it’s a date. I’ll spread the word, party at the Hummels.”

“Excellent, tell them to drop by about seven.” Burt looked to Carole who rolled her eyes. With a twinkle in his eye pulled on his coat.

Nodding, Sam politely responded, “Okay.”

Stepping away from the table, Burt took Carole’s left hand in his right. Blaine noted with a fond spring to his heart. Taking a few steps, Burt looked back at the table. “See you at ten, Blaine and you will be staying for dinner won’t you?”

A feeling of being snared made Blaine’s skin tingle. He weakly smiled. “You got it, Burt.”

Arching his back, Blaine sat back. Suddenly his face erupted into the biggest smile. Laughing, he glanced over his shoulder. The happy couple walked off. Carole leaned into her husband as if she had something to tell him. She had a party to plan.

Gazing at his distracted friend, Sam said, “I’m going to get a coffee and then you and I are going to talk. You want a refill?”

Blaine nodded.

A few minutes later Sam returned with two tall cardboard cups and a bag with two cookies in it. Sitting he waved his hand in front of Blaine to get his attention. “You need to get a grip on yourself. You’re like a kid in a candy store.”

“Come off it Sam, can’t I get excited once in a while.” Blaine reached out and dragged the replacement drink to him.

“I take it Kurt’s coming in?”

“He’s just a friend.”

“Yeah, right.”

“His dad has a big appointment and you know how Kurt can get at times.”

“You’re changing the subject. I take it you’re going to the airport?”

“He doesn’t know.”

“And?”

Fingers dug into the bag and pulled out a sugar cookie. Breaking part off, he popped part into his mouth without saying a word.

Brows pressing together, Sam made a face. “The last time he was here you two hooked up.”

“Twice.’

“Twice?”

“Twice.” Blaine grinned from ear to ear. “Not including kissing in the backseat of the car.”

A hand slapped against Sam’s cheek. His yes narrowed. “Blaine’s he’s seeing someone.”

“I know.” The curly haired teen could not stop smirking.

“What are you going to do if he brings this person with him?” Sam looked uncomfortable.

Shuffling back into his chair, Blaine looked forlorn. “Cry.”

“Blaine?”

“His new . . . friend . . . is not coming.”

Sam bit off a chunk of cookie. “You’re reading too much into this.”

“Sam, I know he still loves me.”

“As friends.”

“No more.”

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you already have.”

Cross his arms, Blaine pouted and sank down into his chair. Sam hit it right on the head. He always did in his naive way. “Thanks Sam.”

“You know I’ll always look out for you.”

“I know. You helped me through all this giving me a shoulder to sob on. Even saved me from going back to Dalton where I would have been shot up with steroids.”

“You would never have do that Blaine. You are one of the most ethical people I know. You recall your reaction to the body roll.”

“Yeah. I could have pulled the punching bag down but I didn’t.”

“You’re too kust too . . . nice . . . and perhaps still a bit stuck on me.” Sam impishly smiled.

Blushing with a sweet grin, Blaine giggled. “You have to admit, those lips of yours?”

Sam’s eyebrows went up as he turned bright red, “I would just have been thrown away like so much dishwater.”

“Sam?”

“Blaine I enjoyed being your guilty pleasure . . . well not the way you wanted.”

A huge smile erupted on Blaine’s face as he blushed. “I never . . .”

“You did, my friend,” Sam winked at him. “I still think that wasn’t a roll of breath mints.”

Shyly looking away, Blaine laughed.

Sam went on. “It flattered me that you had such . . . a large . . . regard for me.”

“Sam?” Blaine almost choked on his coffee.

“It helped you work through this thing with Kurt.”

“Yeah, it did.”

“The two of you are meant to be together. You have to be prepared if Kurt no longer feels the same way.”

Head drooping, Blaine did not look too happy. “Can you blame me for wanting to get him back?”

Sam shook his head. “What do you have planned?”

“Not sure yet.” Blaine fibbed. The idea had only bubbled into this head a few minutes ago. He needed to keep it top secret until he had the talk with Kurt.

“Be careful Blaine. Shagging on Valentines doesn’t make it all come all sunshine and rainbows.” Sam awkwardly smiled.

“I don’t want to get hurt either but it will kill me if I don’t try.” Drawing in a deep breath did not stop his heart form pounding in his chest. The ghost of cold winter’s night tinged the lining of his thoughts causing Blaine to shiver.

“I guess I should get ready?” Sam rolled his eyes.

Worried, Blaine asked, “Why?”

“Wet shoulder.” Sam mischievously smirked.

Blaine laughed.

A few days later Blaine enjoyed the fruits of his labours. Kurt said yes. With tears in his eyes . . . yes. The build up to his plan left Blaine as nervous as a cat in a room of rocking chairs. Asking Kurt to stay for the competition took guts. The picnic in the courtyard scared the daylights out of him. Calling on all his acting skills and with help from his friends pulled him through. Now he stood on the stairs in Dalton staring at Kurt as he slipped a ring on his finger.

 

They both admired the ring as Kurt held it up with his fingers splayed. Beaming, Blaine could not be happier. Getting Burt on side turned in to the hardest part of pulling the proposal together. When they spoke backstage, Kurt’s father left Blaine with a sour taste in his mouth. Then he went back to ask for further help. The teen sat there sweating as he pleaded his case like a good lawyer. In the end Burt consented and then told Blaine he would have agreed right off the start but he wanted to know if he could knock the young man off course. Angry at first, Blaine soon realized Burt’s concerns.

The grand specticle Blaine had arranged unfolded leaving Kurt breathless. Led by Rachel to an important place, Burt stood at the bottom of the stairs close to Schuester with a big smile on his face. Today competing choruses celebrated as a group. Tomorrow back to the cutthroat business of show choirs.

When the crowd thinned out the two lovebirds walked through Dalton’s gardens holding hands. Blaine wanted time with Kurt and only Kurt. Overjoyed, Kurt bounced on his toes but then the luster fade. Reality set in. A sharp pain tugged at Blaine’s chest with the look of consideration on his lover’s face.

“Do you remember this bench?” Blaine asked as he maneuvered around the flower beds. Flesh pressed against flesh making it impossible for Blaine to feel the ring he had must placed on a finger. Everything felt right.

“I loved this place. It became . . . our bench,” Kurt replied with some hesitance. That cute face hardened and then he glanced away.

Tightening his grip on Kurt’s hand, Blaine glanced at his future husband, “You alright?”

With a sigh Kurt bumped shoulder with the adorable man beside him. “I knew you were going to propose.”

Blaine looked surprised even though he should not have been.

Rubbing Blaine’s hand Kurt expected the look. “The dinner.”

“Yeah, I guess that was a big clue.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed. It was sweet.”

“I’ve always been a bit of a mushy sap.”

“I knew you would never gave up.”

“You have reservations?”

“No . . . well maybe.”

“You do know that I love you.” Blaine swallowed. “I have always loved you, Kurt.”

Gazing in to Blaine amber brown eyes Kurt smiled. Rubbing the finger with the ring on it against Blaine’s skin, he said, “I never really stopped loving you.”

Hesitation rose in Blaine’s throat. “But . . .?”

Kurt turned to look at the man he said yes to. “I get it now . . . fooling around.”

“Kurt, no,” Blaine turned sideways to gaze at his fiancée. Sitting on the bench he pulled Kurt down with him.

Settling in beside Blaine, Kurt took two hands in his. “I blew you off Blaine. I didn’t answer your calls and made the ones we did have seem unimportant. While we were parted I thought of that and many other things.”

“Your bow in New York?”

“Ex-bow in New York.”

“Kurt, did you say yes because you really want to marry me or because I used all that hype to trap you?”

Kurt pulled his hands away. The tone of his voice rose. “Trap me?!”

Blaine watched Kurt’s eyes go down to the ring he now twisted around his finger. His heart falling to his stomach, Blaine nervously stated, “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Yes, you did, Blaine Anderson.” Kurt’s voice had an edge.

“But I never . . .” Stuck in a spiraling loop, Blaine stopped when Kurt shifted nearer.

Kurt stared into Blaine’s eyes and smiled. “You’re never been good at lying to me. Of course you set this all up to trap me.”

The colour ran from Blaine face as his chin dropped. Tears welled up in his eyes as he said in a shaky voice, “Kurt, if you feel that way, I can’t hold you to any promise. If you . . . well . . . I understand.”

Regarding Blaine for a short while, Kurt’s face remained unchanged. Increasing his grip on Blaine’s hands, he leaned in so his forehead’s touched. In a soft voice Kurt whispered, “Your sweet Blaine. Caring and at times a little bit goofy but . . .”

“But?” Blaine looked like a lost puppy as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Oh come,” Kurt shuffled closer and wrapped his arms about Blaine drawing him into a soft, carrying embrace. “I will admit I was frightened to death. This is a big step and we’re so young.”

With his face pressed into Kurt’s shoulders Blaine wrapped about the other man tightly. He had made a fool of himself in front of his friends and family. Kurt rejected him and he did not know how to bare it.

Kurt must have felt Blaine shaking. He pulled Blaine closer. “Yes, emotion got the best of me. Yes, I adore you Blaine Anderson.”

Blaine’s head moved.

“Do I truly and death do us part, love you?” Caressing Blaine’s right hand with his left, Kurt hesitated. “I have felt that way since you first took my hand.”

Blaine shifted as he looked to the door leading to a hall and finally the stairs. He drew in a long and serious breath. His chest grew tight. He did not voice the obvious question.

Pulling his arm away, Kurt took Blaine’s face in both his hands. Looking deeply into those amazing honey-brown eyes, he smiled. “The fellow in New York, while nice, does . . . did not move me in the ways you do Mr. Blaine Anderson. I don’t think he would have fought as hard as you did to win me back. He never made me feel as complete as you do. I had to try . . . experiment . . . to see what I would loose.”

Moving his head, Blaine drew in a sharp breath and then said in a highly emotional voice, “Kurt, I love you. I really do.”

Holding back tears, Kurt quietly said, “Blaine you have always made me feel so safe and wanted even when we were separated. I told my dad that a couple of hours ago.”

Tears glistening in his eyes, Blaine lifted his head. “What did Burt say?”

Salty water ran down Kurt’s cheek. “He said I could say yes or no. I asked if I could say maybe.”

Blaine chuckled. How Kurt.

Grinning, Kurt went on, “Then he told me to hear you what you had to say. I listened and made up my own mind. Yes, I felt trapped and then I saw you standing there with wonder and eagerness in your eyes. The sincerity and softness of your tone. Then you talked about souls and my heart exploded. For a split second I felt as if I stood somewhere else with you there at my side looking into forever. At that moment I could see your soul and the openness of your amazing heart.”

Laying his head on Kurt’s shoulder, Blaine quivered as another sob raked his body. When he spoke his voice sounded fragile. “I was so afraid.”

“And you should have been.”

“Kurt, I never wanted to hurt you.”

Cuddling up, Kurt whispered, “Blaine, I know that now and so much more. You are special to me Blaine Anderson though I was too blinded to see it. I pushed you into another man’s arms.”

“I was weak.” Blaine blubbered. “I should have known. After I . . . well . . . I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

Soothing Blaine by rubbing his back, Kurt proudly stated, “But you have me now and will for many years to come.”

“Do I?” Blaine looked up with tears in his eyes.

Taking that sorrowful face I his hands, Kurt pressed his lips into Blaine’s. Vast amounts of tension evaporated from both their bodies as they fell into each other as they had. When they parted watery eyes overflowed with beautiful happiness.


	9. Teenage Dream

“Good morning,” Kurt yawned as his legs and back stiffened as he stretched. Reaching back, a hand fell on the shoulder of the young man snuggled up to him. Fingers lightly played with tangles of curly hair.

Grinning, Blaine rolled his head to enjoy the sensation more. “Good morning, Mr. Hummel.”

“Soon to be Mr. Hummel-Anderson.” Kurt’s eyes fluttered as he pushed his buttock and back against the man behind him.

The right side of Blaine’s face playfully brightened into a grin. “Or Mr. Anderson-Hummel?”

The mattress moved and the warm sheets filled the narrow space between them as Kurt lazily turned over. Soft cocks pressed together as blue eyes met with hazel. A stupid grin tugged at relaxed facial muscles. Stifling another sleepy yawn Kurt’s brows pulled together. Lifting his head without moving his body he studied Blaine.

Staring into the heavenly blue orbs, Blaine loved the sight. They spoke volume without words. This morning, though, Blaine had trouble preserving the delicate connection between the world about him and the tenderness of his heart.

Eyes narrowing, Kurt asked in an almost silent tone, “What’a thinking?”

“About us?” Blaine’s hand feel flat on a hairless chest. Curly hair sprawled out over the pillow as he settled in to gaze at the young man next to him. A smiled pulled his lips as his body shifted causing a slight discomfort in his posterior. Kurt certainly knew how to please.

Lifting his head and shifting his body, Kurt regarded Blaine. “You’re still worried?”

“Am I?”

“I can hear it in your breathing.”

“You know me that well?”

“And more.”

“But . . .”

“No buts. Mr. Anderson. We’re not going there today or tomorrow. What was, was and what is . . . I love it.”

Gazing into those heavenly blue eyes, the beauty of the man next him stilled Blaine’s heart bringing calm. NYADA had been good to Kurt. Dance glasses has changed his body in a good way while Blaine still felt a little pudgy. New confidence revealed itself in Kurt’s tone and walk. It scared Blaine it also drove him to catch up. Then doubt would hit. What has Blaine done? He almost fell apart but then he got the most important person in his life back. The achievement made him feel proud. The little things, such as graduating high school, seemed trifle.

“Blaine, I know that look?” Kurt gently stated. A hand came to rest on Blaine’s bringing their fingers together.

Dark, elongated eyebrows pushed together and Blaine rolled his eyes ever so slightly.

Grinning, Kurt pushed into Blaine laying a hand on his chest. His fingers splayed out and closed again several times. “Please tell me what you are thinking?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m . . .” Blaine stumbled on his words. “I . . . well . . . I most of . . . damn it!”

Two fingers fell upon Blaine’s lips and then Kurt leaned forward kissing his rediscovered love on the forehead. An old man recalled the moment and the helplessness he endured. With the end so close, he still did not understand why he felt such doubt. Kurt accepted him back but the road ahead would not be as smooth as his younger self may have liked. Now, as he stared at the man he had loved almost eighty years, he let it all go. Kurt left first but it did not bother and old man because, somehow, he knew they would meet again.

A short but sharp pain shot down his left arm causing the fingers to go numb. An old man winced and allowed a tear to roll down his cheek. Drawing in a short but quick breath he could not stop himself from snickering. He had hoped the end of his life would have been like so many climaxes they had shared. Well, in this case, going together. Coming had never been an issue.

Chuckling turned into coughing as an old man grinned. Modern science did wonders. Genetic therapies cured many things and created new issues. Would it help him now? The tingling in his arms told him it would not be long. Oddly, he did not feel rushed. Dramatic interpretations of death had everyone wailed when a loved one died. What did time wait for?

Two starstruck lovers had lived a long, fruitful and eventful lives together. Memories reinforced the truth of unspoken regrets. Knowing the path they would take together, old Blaine laughed at his younger self.

“Listen Blaine. We’ve had our ups and downs. Yes . . . we broke up.” Kurt sighed. Placing a hand on Blaine’s chest where stubble pressed into the skin. “Believe me when I tell you, you convinced me where my heart really lies. I dreamed of you. I even thought I saw you on the street one day and ran to catch up. You turned out to be a bit older.”

The right side of Blaine’s face curled up into a lovely smirk. “Did I look good?”

“Let’s just say, you will look much better.”

Laughing, Blaine rolled his eyes and scrunched his face up. “So I’m going to be a troll when I get older.”

One eye open wider than the other, Kurt grinned. “You’ll never live under a bridge.”

Grunting and making monster noises, Blaine rocked his body back and forth.

Kurt winked. “If you are trying to turn me on Mr. Blaine Anderson.”

“Do I need to try?” Blaine purred.

“Nah.” Kurt smiled. Kurt’s lips pressed against the top of an ear. “You can’t believe how much I have missed you. I tried to move on but whenever I closed my eyes I saw those beautiful eyes of yours looking back at me.”

The chin crinkled up as Blaine blushed. Ocean of blue surrounded by white invaded his thoughts. Kurt had never really left him.

“Rachel, Santana . . . and yes, Adam, and I were watching Moulin Rougé one night and when it came to the song ‘Come What May’. Adam was wrapped around . . .” Kurt’s expression changed when he noted the narrowing of Blaine’s eyes. Raking two fingers along Blaine’s chest and smiled. “You know the part.”

“Yeah.” Blaine sounded weak.

“I heard you singing Blaine. I saw you on a rooftop in the snow looking so handsome in a tuxedo. I joined you and . . . we sang together.” Tapping a nipple, Kurt pressed his forehead against his lover’s. “I cried.”

Blaine’s heart stopped. Staring into Kurt’s eyes he remembered a similar vision in which he saw two men. They fondly gazed at each other within the dim of flickering firelight. Thin fingers ruffled dark curly hair and then one rose. Holding out his right hand a left slid into it. Together they walked toward a balcony door. It opened and Blaine stepped out onto a chilly and snowy roof. Alone, he looked up into the snow and glanced about.

Wetness balled up in the corner of his eye. Breathlessly staring at Kurt deep emotion spilled over his heart. Softly, Blaine sang.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2xN1oUiGoQ)

_Never knew, I could feel like this_   
_I've never seen the sky before_   
_Want to vanish inside your kiss_

_Seasons may change_   
_Winter to spring_   
_But I love you_   
_Until the end of time_

_Come what may_   
_Come what may_   
_I will love you_   
_Until my dying day_

Angelic eyes gazed at hazel with a love so powerful it seemed to stretch into time. Raising his voice in counterpoint, Kurt dabbed the wetness from beneath Blaine’s eyes.

_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_   
_Suddenly moves with such a perfect grace_   
_Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste_   
_It all revolves around you_

_And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide_   
_Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side_   
_Storm clouds may gather_   
_And stars may collide_

_But I love you_

_I love you_

_Until the end of time_   
_Until the end of time_

_Come what may_   
_Come what may_

_I will love you_   
_I will love you_

“Oh my god, Blaine.” Tears filled Kurt’s eyes and then he threw himself at his lover. Crawling up on him, he pressed their lips together with such passion the heart stopped. When he tenderly pulled away, Kurt lay a hand flat against Blaine’s unshaven face.

Looking up, Blaine the right side of Blaine’s face lifted into the lovely, smirk guaranteed to make Kurt’s chest flutter. Never had he dreamed he would have met such a sweet man. Never had he believed in fate. Fate? The question of wishes come true in the most amazing way. Truth recognized but then fate had a sharp cold edge.

“Oh, Blaine?” Kurt whispered and then kissed Blaine again. He pulled back suddenly giving his love a puzzled look. “You sang so beautifully but now . . .?”

“It’s nothing Kurt.” Blaine pressed his head into Kurt’s shoulder next to the neck. Without realizing it he let out a sigh.

Snuggling closer, Kurt stroked Blaine’s tangles. “I love you Blaine.”

“I love you too.” There had been no hesitation in Blaine’s response he felt it with all his heart but a black ghoul gnawed on his darkest thoughts. Chest muscles tightened and for a second he felt trapped inside a confined space filled with noxious fumes. The body shuddered.

“Blaine?” Kurt shifted increasing the space between them. “What?”

Blaine’s head now rested on a bicep. “All’s good, Kurt. Believe me, all is good.”

Eyebrows going up, Kurt took Blaine’s right hand in his left drawing him closer. “You’re worried about what will happened when I returned to New York.”

“Yeah.” Blaine sounded weak. Heavy air filled his chest.

Cradling his lover in his arms, Kurt held him as if his life depended on it. “Oh my love, don’t be afraid. I will fluff you off for a piece of gossip.”

“I know.” Blaine draped an arm over Kurt making him feel safe.

“The past few months have taught me a lot about myself. I do not like all of what If found.” Kurt set his lips against Kurt’s forehead. “You tried so hard to tell me you were sorry. It’s my time to tell you I’m sorry.”

Sitting up Blaine the sheet feel away exposing the hair above his crotch. Deep emotion welled up and he threw his arms about the man he loved. He heart screamed at him to reveal a terrible truth but fear overshadowed everything. The mind faltered for a second and the only words he could think have spilled from his lips. “Kurt you don’t need to do that.”

“Blaine you will always have a kind and compassionate heart.” Kurt stroke Blaine’s neck. “I’m far from perfect.”

Fluttering eyes stared at Kurt. The heart thumped with relief but the mind still did not grasp the situation. Blaine muttered, “You?”

“Me.” Kurt’s voice sounds so silent but full.

A thought grounded Blaine and he shyly smiled. “You’re prefect to me.”

“Ah-h-h-h-h.”

“You’re my perfect imperfection.”

“Do you remember the ring you gave me?”

“I could never forget.”

“I was going to toss it but I couldn’t. Adam asked me about it and I said it was a gift from a high school friend.”

“Oh?”

“A very special high school friend who gave me the strength not to be afraid.”

“Ah?”

“Yes, ah. You know I kept the things you gave me under my bed. When I was so mad at you I could scream I still could not throw them out. Rachel said it was because I still loved you.”

“And did you?”

“Honestly, at that time, I did not know. The ring sat on my night stand beside the lamp. I would gaze at it and remember all the fun we had together. It broke my heart but it also gave me strength.”

“I saw it there at Christmas.”

“I guess, in all the rush of the surprise I forgot it.”

“You wanted to hide it?”

“No, never. That stupid little ring meant more to me than you could imagine Mr. Blaine Anderson.” Kurt grinned from ear to ear. Holding up his hand the sparse light danced on metal wrapping his finger. “It was a promise I desperately wanted to keep.”

Eyes smiling at Kurt, Blaine gently kissed his love on the forehead. Snuggling up closer he wrapped his legs about his former ex-boyfriend so their bodies felt as if it had become one. Burying his head into Kurt’s shoulder he tried not to shed a tear. Sniffling, he felt Kurt’s arms surround him in an embrace he had missed all those months. Kurt’s hard-edge served them both but Blaine’s softness made them a powerful combination.

Drawing in a shaky, breath Blaine whispered, “I missed you so much. I almost went back to Dalton.”

Blue eyes narrowing, Kurt look puzzled. “Why?”

“Dalton had no recent memories of you.” Blaine glanced down at the sheets. “I could have sworn the halls of McKinley had your smell.”

“And well it should,” Kurt cut in. “I wore enough cologne . . . good cologne at that . . . to soak the ceiling tiles for years to come.”

Laughing, Blaine squeezed his love tighter. “You’re a one-of a kind Kurt Hummel.”

“Definitely,” Kurt kissed Blaine on the brow.

Placing his lips against the side of Kurt’s face Blaine returned the kiss. “After we broke up I could see us laughing here and walking there. It was really depressing.”

Kurt pouted.

Drawing in a deep breath, Blaine looked into those eyes feeling his heart flutter. “I was in a terrible space and ended up back at Dalton on afternoon. I sat under the tree where I finally made up my mind to transfer to McKinley. Part of me wished David and Trent were there but no, I found someone new in charge of the Warblers.”

“I saw the newscast.”

“It made the national news?”

“I watched the local stuff. Rachel and I might have been in New York but we still paid attention to what the New Directions did. I watched your national’s performance. You were great by the way.”

“They were better.”

“Don’t cut yourself short, Blaine Anderson. You’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“Short jokes? Really?”

Kurt just leaned in with a smile and kissed Blaine. “Believe it or not, I miss Lima. It’s so much quieter than New York, but don’t get me wrong I won’t move back . . . well not permanently.”

“Kurt, I can’t guarantee what the future will bring.” Blaine looked sad. “But I’ve always known I need you in my life.”

Wildly smiling, Kurt reached out and took Blaine’s hand. Pulling it down to his crotch he seductively whispered, “Make me sing.”

Throwing his face into Kurt’s, Blaine rolled up on top of the lovely man. Tongues lashed and hand explored a body the man he worshiped. Sliding across Kurt, Blaine suddenly regretted not shaving his torso as he did every morning.n Kurt might like the hair but Blaine had other opinions. He did not want to mar Kurt’s beautiful alabaster skin.

Rolling his way and that, Kurt sucked on thick, pink lips. Blaine loved it. In exchange he found Kurt’s narrow lips an erotic adventure. Their noses bumped together as their kissing intensified. Longing and need took them causing the blood to rush to the thickening tubes stretched along the stomachs. Forcing their own directions, two snakes met in the tight spaces between writhing bodies.

Suddenly Blaine pulled back and two cocks sprang straight up toward their belly buttons. Allowing his tongue to lick those sweet lips, Blaine prepared Kurt for the exploration to come. The curly haired teen wanted to make Kurt plead. The spot behind the ear at the base of the neck or nipping at the chin he dared Kurt to lose all self-control. Aggressive Kurt turned Blaine. Not afraid to admit that he liked to receive more than give, Blaine gave Kurt all the signals he wanted to receive.

Deep down Blaine needed this. Last night had been fun but this morning he marked Kurt as that special someone who would always be in his life. No part of his lover’s fine body would go untouched. The tongue lashed over toes and fingers. The tender spots behind joints and the muskiness of armpits send shivers through the body. The moist trail he left over alabaster skin allowed an affectionate man to taste Kurt in such a complete and complex manner. Blaine savoured the opportunity.

The deliciousness of Kurt’s moaning, only heightened the experience. Long, slender fingers raked down Blaine’s back creating an animalistic need. One hand slid away and then fingers gripped Blaine’s willing shaft. Tugging and playing Kurt told his lover, in very certain terms, what he demanded. Rediscovered lovers melted together learning a dynamic they had never experienced before. Born of sorrow and longing, they had matured.

The memory of an old man recalled himself grazing at Kurt’s garden. With care, the more agile Blaine worked his way down the shoulder to the erogenous zones of the body. Kurt squirmed and moaned but in the present Blaine heard only his own breathing and the occasional sob. The two had spent their lives immersed in their love. He had few regrets.

Looking at a wrinkled hand, old Blaine felt content. Death had visited and now waited at the table nursing a cup of tea while playing cards. The Harvester of Souls had come like an old friend who patiently waited. Still love held. Death knew he could not interrupt.

Savouring these solitude masking growing grief, an elderly man could not stop himself from smiling. The appendage between his legs stirred and pressed against cloth. After all these years Kurt could bring him to a moist state. They had became one

Thin, curly hair rubbed against the still hand an old man Blaine adored. Sorrow touched him and a tear splashed against cooling skin. He stared at it for a long moment and in his chest old Blaine felt a sharp pop of pain. Radiating down his left arm he drew in a deep breath and glanced to the table. Invisible to the mortal eye, the Harvester lifted his teacup. The Harvester understood the virtues of patience.

Thankful for the moments he had left, an old man rested his head upon a still hands and smiled. Fond memories reminded of how Kurt filled him. It hurt when Kurt entered him but it represented a good hurt. The renewed couple spent the night at the Hummel’s. Burt and Carole insisted after the impromptu party in their living room. Just a little bit tipsy, the boys clung together not wanting to be apart for too long. It felt as if the last few months did not exist.

Toes curled up with the sensation of his prostate being messaged at the right angle. Eyes closed, they would open now and then to find Kurt staring at him with those alluring eyes. Longing for only one man consumed Blaine. Blaine savoured every moment. Kurt kissed him all over as he reconnected with every inch of his twitching body. His tongue raked the area the ears making Blaine squirm and giggle. Carded his fingers through Kurt’s hair before pulling him up for more kissed even as a deep thrust sent a seductive shiver up his spine.

Blue eyes rolled as Kurt gasped with excitement. Teetering on the edge, Kurt’s powerful love muscle made Blaine whimper. A mop of fussy hair pressed into the pillow as Blaine’s head thrashed about. Close to the point of no return, Blaine did not touch himself. Pressure built in his cock and balls as Kurt’ard nine inches worked them toward climax.

Recognizing the signs, Kurt suddenly but gently pulled out. Gripping Blaine’s testicles lightly he gently squeezed tearing his lover from the point of explosion. Blaine groan sounded disappointed.

Dripping lubricant on his fingers, Kurt lowered himself onto Blaine's overly sensitive pole. Taking it all in, he rode his lover until Blaine could take it no longer. Head thrown back, Blaine arched his body as he thrust up into Kurt seeking release. Letting out a loud moan, Kurt exploded leaving a trail of white across Blaine’s chest. Riding Blaine well past the point of expulsion Kurt enjoyed trying to keep his struggling fiancé hard. Blaine’s eyes had crossed. Not wishing to torture his love any longer. Kurt fell onto Blaine and cuddled up. Utterly relaxed, blue lazily lost itself in hazel.

An abrupt blink brought a taste of reality. Eyes fluttering open, Blaine realized they had drifted off to sleep. A ray of light shining down from the crack in the curtains causing Blaine to squint. The thin beam highlighted the curve of Kurt’s chest. With gentle ease, Blaine gently circled a finger about the nipple. Knowing how it aroused Kurt he watched as the goose bumps rose on pale skin. The thought he could indulge this simple pleasure for the rest of his life pleased him. Shutting his eyes, Blaine enjoyed the motion of his finger on warm skin.

Fussy hair pressed up against a bicep. The angelic sight made Blaine smile. Three time in less than twelve hours left him lovingly satisfied. The delicious hint of the perfection of his future life made him smile. Perfect. No, beyond perfect. Slowly he drifted off again.

Someone stirred and a head moved. Glistening blue stared up at Blaine with a happy smile. Wrapping his arms about Blaine’s head, he soundly kissed the fussy haired man. Fingers ran through massed of curly hair in is natural state. Kurt liked the natural look.

“I’m all tingly.” Kurt shivered and then yawned a restful, morning yawn.

Blaine smiled back and brushed his lover’s hair. “You should use me like that more often.”

“You enjoyed it.”

“I can never get enough of you Mr. Hummel.”

“Oh, Mr. Anderson, you say all the right things.”

“I aim to hit the mark.”

“You aimed just fine for me. My mark will not be the same for days.”

“We will have to make sure it remains tingly.”

“I had forgetting how receptive you are to my pleasures.”

“I was that forgettable?” Blaine pulled his arm out from under Kurt to lean on one elbow. Blood rushed into his fingers.

Impishly grinning, Kurt reached up and pulled Blaine into a long and tender kiss.

“I love you, Kurt,” Blaine moaned with a heavy exhale. Rolling his fingers just to make sure they still worked, he nestled up against Kurt.

“I told you once I would never say good-bye,” Kurt gently replied.

Resting his right hand over Kurt’s heart, Blaine said, “This always knew though our brains didn’t.”

Kurt’s left fell on Blaine’s right. “You have always been a little blind in regards to desires of your heart wanted.”

Snickering, Blaine admitted, “I guess I’m a little dense.”

Winking, Kurt whispered, “Your cock is dense, Mr. Anderson but never your heart.”

“The cobwebs muddled my brain.” Blaine grinned.

Kurt kissed Blaine softly on the lips. “I love you, my beautiful teenage dream.


	10. Parents

“What the hell do you want from me?” Blaine leaned back and the legs of the kitchen chair scrapped against the floor. Faint red edged up his neck and over his ears. 

Stiff backed with his ankle resting on his knee he stared out the window into the backyard. His breath smelled of scotch. Daniel’s face remained resolute. “Common sense and some respect.”

“Respect? You’ve treated me like shit and you want respect.”

“I’m your father.”

“Yeah, right. Now you want a say?”

“You never listened.”

“I never listened? Hell! You just can’t accept.”

“What, that you a faggot? That you’re . . .”

“Daniel” Pam’s voice rose over her husband’s.

Growling, Daniel’s eyes shifted way from the window to the ceiling. Swigging back the brown liquid in a clear tumbler, he sneered at his son. “I saw enough of what you do?”

“You’re telling me you never played with yourself,” Blaine shot back. “You haven’t seen half of what I can do. You . . .”

“Just watch you tongue, young man.”

“You going to hit me again?”

“You live under my roof and you do what I say.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“You’re a kid who one day will grow up and learn he is wrong.”

“You know nothing about me.”

‘“I know you’re being stupid.”

“Look who’s . . .” Blaine stopped when his mother gave him a look. A spike pushed up into his heart and Blaine looked to his left. Compassionate blue eyes stared back at him.

Seated at the kitchen table between her son and her husband, Pam did not look happy. Everything had been going fine until Daniel surprised everyone by walking in through the back door. He stopped the moment he saw Kurt. Daniel’s face hardened and he turned away. Standing, Pam insisted he stay. Both parents retreated from the room for a short, quiet but heated discussion. When Daniel sat he had a large tumbler of scotch with him. 

“Daniel,” Pam pushed the coffee mug in front of her to one side. She had not consumed alcohol in two months. She tried to keep the peace.

“It’s not right.” Daniel rolled his eyes.

“Not right?” Blaine’s face blossomed red. A hand fell on his arm and he looked to Kurt.

“Yes.” 

“Is this about grand children? Who says Kurt and I will not have kids.”

“Biology.”

“We’ll adopt.”

“The way you two fight.”

Glaring at his father, Blaine’s voice rose, “As if you are doing any better. You’re seeing a councilor because you . . .”

“That’s not fair, Blaine,” Kurt softly said. Holding his love’s right hand put of view, nervous could barely describe what he felt. Blaine had invited him over to speak to his mom about their relationship and New York. It all started out well and then it became a war zone. 

Simmering hazel eyes bore down on his dad. Blaine’s father sat there like a cold rock. Initially, he did not acknowledge Kurt until Pam cleared her throat. His whole body language displayed nothing but blatant disrespect for the man Blaine loved and his whole lifestyle. The only time he would show his face would be to rush Kurt out of the house about nine. He would not even allow them to kiss, though Blaine openly defied him in that regard. Having the darling man continued to anchor him. 

Fingers suddenly moved against his as if Kurt understood. Glancing at the man he loved, Blaine squeezed the hand in his. Letting out a sigh, he said, “You’re right.”

Gently stoking the back of Blaine’s hand, Kurt tightened his grip. Kurt’s eyes sparkled with emotion. A son noted the change in his father’s face. Loudly clearing his throat, Daniel stood and turned to leave the room. Nose curling up, he shook his head and muttered under his breath. 

“Really, Daniel?” Pam objected. 

“Let me have some peace!” Blaine’s father shot back. Stomping over to the credenza visible from the kitchen, he poured himself a stiff scotch. “You expect me to give my blessing to . . . this act of . . . I don’t know what it is.”

Blood pulsed in Blaine’s ears. It dropped when Kurt moved his hand against his. Youthful eyes met and then called to his dad, “You don’t have anything to do with it.”

“Damned right I won’t!” Daniel downed have the drink in one gulp.

Blaine swallowed. “Being with Kurt makes me happy.”

“How long until you’re upstairs crying like a girl again. Fuck’n pussy . . . you’re . . .” Daniel tipped the bottle up into his glass again. 

Clearing her throat, Pam glared at her husband. “Now that was uncalled for.”

“Bullshit,” Daniel bluntly stated.

Kurt stiffened and shifted his gaze as Blaine’s lips curled in. He knew that look but he also understood his lover’s soft and carrying side. 

“Daniel come back here and speak rationally,” Pam complained. She gave the two young men an apologetic look.n’  
“For god’s sake.” Daniel shook his head and topped up his drink. “Two men aren’t meant to get married.”

“And who says so?” Pam countered. Her eyes fell her son and his future husband. She tried to keep it all together. “The courts certainly don’t agree.”

“Liberals. Bloody liberal are going to destroy this nation,” Blaine’s father growled as he turned with a half drunk beverage in his hand. “At least Ohio kept their whit’s and voted against this hogwash.”

Blaine laughed and tightened his grip on Kurt’s left hand.

Kurt glanced at Blaine who returned a cautious look. He had witnessed Daniel’s anger before but endured for the sake of his husband-to-be. If he ran he would never forgive. Bullying had a different meaning when a parent despised a child. Kurt felt sick.

Daniel huffed and took a long draft of his drink. “Don’t count on me going.”

Blaine chewed on the words he wanted to say. He knew he would never count on his father for anything. In the corner of his eye he noted the look on his lover’s face. Squeezing Kurt’s hand reassured them both.

The silence amused Daniel and he laughed.

Giving her husband a hard look, Pam proudly announced. “I’m going to give my boy away.”

“Mom?” Blaine cooed with a smile.

“Don’t encourage him.” Daniel glared at his wife. Downing his drink, he poured another one. “They’re already making fools of themselves.”

A mother’s eyes told the story but her face remained calm. “Daniel, this is not open for discussion. You can sit here and brood, all you want but I love these two boy. Be a stick in the mud and stay in the stone age if you want but I will not.”

“All this fu . . .” Daniel slammed his mouth shut.

“You don’t have to be there dad.” Blaine drew in a deep breath. “I fact, I don’t want you there.”

“Good.” Daniel chugged on his scotch again. “Saves me writing a fuck’n reply.”

Pushing back, Pam rose to her feet. A hand fell on her arm and she looked down at Kurt. Drawing air into her lungs she let it out slowly. She gave Kurt an apologetic look and sank back to the chair. 

Leaning against the sideboard, Daniel chuckled. 

Shaking his head, Blaine said, “Do what you want, dad. I don’t care. Mom and Kurt’s parents are behind us. Cooper evens said he would be there.”

Snorting, Daniel shook his head. “You perverted him too.”

A fist curled up out of view as Blaine’s eyes narrowed. “Let’s stop pretending, I’ve been an embarrassment since I was eight.”

“Only eight. Jesus what a fucked . . .” Daniel’s face went white. He stared at Pam who gazed at him with a face of steel. 

Catching the look forced Blaine to the back of his chair. For a moment stunned silence reigned and then a son drew in a deep breath. Something serious passed between his parents. Daniel took a step closer but Pam did not back down. His eyes narrowed and then he suddenly looked away.

Kurt’s thumb pressed into the back his lover’s hand. The tension between Blaine’s parents frightened him. Carole and Burt had heated discussions but nothing like this. Blaine had told him about the arguments in the Anderson household but his worried him. The man he loved lived with this every day. Being in New York meant he could do little other than lip service. Mind you, Kurt liked lip service but not this type.

Blaine felt the pulsing under his lover’s skin. He hated this and decided to end it with a simple announcement, “You may not like it, dad, but I love Kurt and we will be married. Kurt’s family has embraced me like a long lost son. You need not bother pretending anymore.”

Kurt tensed up as he eyes shifted toward Blaine. 

Laughing, Daniel stated, “They can have the little queer.”

“Daniel!” Pam screamed as she pushed her chair back. Aghast, she gave her husband a stern gaze and then looked to the boys. She bit her lip.

“For god’s sake. He’s nothing . . .” Daniel caught himself and downed his drink back. Dropping the glass onto the wooden counter top he stormed for the front door.

Pam started to go after him and Kurt finally broke his silence, “Let him go, Mrs. Anderson.”

Mother and son both glanced at the pale young man. Heavy breathing became the only sound. A few seconds later a door slammed.

Turning to face Blaine, Kurt stroking his lover’s check. “We expected a negative response but . . . well, he needs time to think and calm down.”

Blaine slumped in the chair with a shivering breath. Resting his head against Kurt’s shoulder he felt a hand come to rest on the side of his head. The fingers carding his hair made him feel less angry. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he felt his heart return to normal. 

Soothing his lover, Kurt whispered, “We didn’t allow the bullies in school to get us and neither will you father.”

“Kurt, I’m so sorry you had to sit through that.” A tear rolled from Blaine’s eye. “I feel horrible.”

“Don’t Blaine,” Kurt pleaded as he rubbed Blaine’s neck, Kurt let out a sigh to help shed the tension. “You are everything to me. Your dad is not always nice but he is your dad.”

“Kurt?” Blaine’s chest heaved in and out. 

“Biting your lips only makes them look puffy, Blaine.” Kurt pushed his body into Blaine’s. “Remember you’re with people who love you for who you are and what you are.”

“Oh, Blaine?” Pam’s voice broke the silence. 

Lifting his head, Blaine stared at his mother. Slowly standing, he glanced back at Kurt and then walked around the table. Wrapping his arms around the woman who brought him into the world, he hugged her. Laying his head on her chest, Blaine started to shake. Hazel locked on blue giving Blaine suddenly relief. 

A tear glistened in Pam’s eye. “That man of yours is so good for you. Don’t loose him.”

Rolling his head along his mother’s breast without loosing sight of those lovely blue eyes, Blaine moaned, “I stood up to dad.”

“It’s alight,” Pam rubbed her son’s back. 

Blaine shuddered. “Mom . . .” 

“Blaine, nothing will stop me from celebrating the love you have for Kurt.” Pam squeezed her son and looked to Kurt who just sat there staring. “I’ve never doubted. Times might have been tough but the two you are meant to be together.”

Pulling back, Blaine wiped his eyes and looked to the man he loved. Holding out his hand, Kurt stood and took it. Blue eyes sparkled with admiration and compassion. Blaine felt so lucky.

“Remember to always declare your love and never go to bed angry.” Pam laid a hand on two shoulders and then she glanced toward the front door. 

Hazel eyes followed and then Blaine found. A son got the message. “Mom?”

Patting her gorgeous son on the cheek, she looked to Kurt and said, “Now come over here and give your future mother-in-law a great big hug.”

Kurt kissed Blaine on the cheek and then fell into Pam’s arms. With her right hand she pleaded with her son to join in. Wrapping his arms about both his mother and the love of his life, Blaine felt must better. The two most important people in his life share a moment with him. Deep down he understood the sacrifice his mother had just made.

When he drew back, Blaine felt Kurt’s hand gently caress his. The past two weeks had been a whirlwind of happiness, nerves and regret. Regardless of the upheaval, he wanted nothing else. His soul mate had returned to him. Their love might be a little battered but it shown like a bright light in the fog. Never again did he want to hurt the dear man. Never again would he give into his base feeling. A young heart had learned a hard lesson. 

“I need a drink,” Pam groaned.

“Mom?” Blaine gave her a look. The tense atmosphere had all but evaporated.

Running her fingers through her son’s tightly gelled hair, Pam said, “Coffee. You want some boys?”

“I would love one.” Kurt let out a huge sigh. The pressure drained from his face returning that boyish look. 

Pulling Kurt close, Blaine said to his mom, “Mom, you sounded positive about the wedding. Was that for dad’s benefit?”

“Yes and no,” Placing two mugs on the counter, Pam turned to her son with an adoring look. ““I suppose you haven’t discussed dates?” 

Two young men glanced at one another. The thought had obviously not crossed their minds. 

“I guess not,” Pam poured and then hand the lovers a mug each. “Oh, all in due time.”

“We need to take it slow, Mrs. Anderson,” Kurt responded. His soft voice left the impression he had not completely relaxed just yet.

“Oh, dear, you’re family now. Call me Pam.” “Blaine’s mother smiled. “And good for you wanting to take it slow.”

“We’re both young and have a lot to learn,” Blaine glanced at his love. “And we have some healing to do.”

“And you still need to finish high school, my love,” Pam patted her son on the cheek.

Blaine pouted as he looked to the young man beside him. “Kurt is set up in NYADA but I still need to find a college or university.”

“Or NYADA.” Kurt beamed. 

Blaine wanted to go to the school to be close to Kurt. The two of them could walk together, eat lunch, hanging out accompanied with lots of sex. The thought made him happy but then he had reservations which he voiced, “NYADA. I would love that but I don’t want to crowd you Kurt. We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. You . . . me . . . will need our space.”

Kurt frowned. “You don’t want to be with me.”

“The games of young love. I miss it.” Pam’s face spread into a wicked little grin. She still had feeling for her husband even if he had been an ass. “You’re at the stage where you want to spend every waking and sleeping moment with one another. It’s good. It’s healthy.” 

Sad hazel eyes stared into blue.

“Don’t go there, boys.” Pam sat at the table and sipped her coffee. “You will learn soon enough it is healthy to have time apart. But for now, do what you have to do with no regrets.”

Blaine blushed. What had happened to the previous conversation? His mom reacted as if nothing had happened. A son knew better. She held it all in and Blaine could see it simmering. Dad might be angry but nothing would come of it. Maybe? 

Winking at Kurt, Pam asked, “When are you going back to New York?”

“At the end of the week.” Kurt did not look to happy.

“Being apart the last time was tough,” Blaine sucked in his lower lip. “This time . . . I don’t know.”

“Blaine, you know.” Pam gave the two boys an inquisitive look. She still did not know what had happened. “All you need to do is avoid whatever caused the breakup.” 

The boys looked at each other. Blaine looked away first. Taking his cheeks in his hands. Kurt drew Blaine into kissed it. Pulling away, Kurt announced, “It’s not going to happen this time.”

“That’s good boys.” Smirking, Pam leaned back at her chairs, her eyes on the cups and plates needed to be cleared away.

Blushing, Blaine looked at his mom and said, “Don’t even think of clearing yet.”

“You two are so cute.” She gave Blaine a motherly look with a shrug. “I would like to help with the ceremony but I know Kurt, he will want to do everything.”

The boys exchanged glances. Kurt piped up, “Of course we would like you to help.”

“When we make up our mind, I’ll let you know,” Blaine leaned forward placing a hand on his moms. More a gesture to give her strength for what still had to come, he did not want her to think she is alone.

“That’s good.” Pam placed her other hand on her son’s. 

Kurt’s eyes shifted toward Blaine. “My parents said we can use their backyard.”

Taking Kurt’s hand, Blaine rubbed his thumb over smooth skin. “I kind of like getting married in New York. I like Battery Park?”

“Really?” Kurt looked surprised.

“Really.” Blaine smiled.

Throwing his hands around Blaine’s neck, Kurt kissed him. Rocking back and forth, he suddenly pulled away when he noticed Pam staring at him. White toned skin flushed red.

Grinning, Pam stood and stared to collect the plates. It had not been a dinner but more like a formal snack. “Now why don’t you go and do whatever you have to do.”

Blaine gave his mom a look.

“Just remember you have school in the morning, Blaine.” Pam wiggled a finger at her son. 

Kurt chuckled as he turned to face his love. “Now be a good boy and go bed by nine.”

The curly haired teen gave his fiancé a curious look and started to laugh. 

Pointing a finger, Kurt teased. “Don’t forget your homework.”

Rolling his eyes, Blaine kissed the finger. He had other ideas of what to do at with the number nine.

“Wow,” Kurt grinned from ear to ear. “I get to sleep in.”

“Not if I have my way,” Blaine winked. 

Grinning. Pam gave the boys a fond look. “Oh run away and have fun”

“Mom?” Blaine looked disgusted.

Stacking the last of the plates, Pam glanced at her son and winked. “Shoo.”

Looking to the front hall, Blaine looked suddenly concerned. “I’ll stay mom.”

Turning the water on, Pam said without looking back, “I’ll be fine.”

Not convinced, Blaine stood and approached his mother. “What if dad comes back?” 

Swiveling about, Pam wrapped her arms about her son. “Everything will be good. Your father and I have argued before.”

Blaine pulled back. “But . . .?” 

“Go take that gorgeous man of yours out and have fun.” She patted her son on the shoulder.

“You sure?” Kurt asked with a look of concern on his face.

“Boys, I appreciate you concern, but I’ll be fine,” Pam pulled them both into a hug. 

“Okay, mom,” Blaine said into her shoulder. “I’ll call you later to make sure everything is alright.”

“I’d like that.” Pam kissed her son on the head and pulled him into a tighter hug.

Stepping back, Blaine tapped Kurt on the arm. With his eyes he indicated the front door. “You sure mom?”

Kissing both young men on the cheek, Pam said, “Yes.”

Taking Kurt’s hand, Blaine led him toward the front door. Looking back a couple of times, Blaine felt Kurt pulling on his hand. Their eyes locked and Blaine could see the concern in those blue orbs but also need. They both knew they could not stay. 

Out on the front porch, Blaine stopped and placed a head on a pillar. From behind Kurt wrapped his arms about the man he loved. Leaning in, his head came to rest on the back of the shorter man’s shoulders. The expansion and contraction of Blaine’s chest spoke volumes.

The sensation of those arms around him released the stress. Blaine loved feeling the warmth spreading up his back and the comfort it represented. He loved the man with all his heart but fear for his mother ate at him. Hs father had put her in the hospital once and that sent Blaine over the edge. Deep down he knew he could go through it again because the blanket Kurt represented remained fragile. The elation of a proposal seethed through his veins but he no illusion it would end. They had much to discuss before everything would be perfect. Blaine had fears they would fight again but then he felt more grown up.

“You’re shaking,” Kurt whispered into Blaine’s ear.

The smell of fresh coffee rolled over Blaine nose. It made him smile and then he noticed his father’s car in the driveway. In a low tone, he said, “Dad must have gone for a walk.”

“You’re mom will be fine.”

“I’m afraid of what will happen when he gets back.”

“They’d lock him up if he did that again.”

“Mom has not given up on him.”

“Blaine you can’t live her life for her.”

Though he could not see it, Blaine knew the expression on Kurt’s face. The tone of his lover’s voice gave it all away. The truth hurt though. Ever since they met, Blaine had been living his life through Kurt. No, they had been living their lives through each other. Kurt discovered himself in New York and feaed what he might find out about himself. Though he put on airs, he had never really been strong. He hand not lied to Kurt when he told him, ‘I know how to do it in song’. Being separated from Kurt scared him in ways he had never thought possible. It all had to do with age and inexperience but then one dark, cold, snowy night he learned the opposite. The smell of fumes made him realize how deep he had fallen for the dear man. Did he have the strength? Yes. In his heart he knew he could do anything with Kurt at his side. 

Kurt went on even though he felt a sharp pain in his chest. “I’m not saying don’t love her and protect her but she’s a grown woman. She can make up her own mind without help from the baby of the family.”

“Baby?” Blaine half turned to Kurt who paused from putting the car in gear. 

His head slightly lowered as if he looked over invisible glasses, Kurt grinned and then added, “You are the youngest and you like suckling.”

“Oh, yes, but . . . baby?”

“I learned from my dad that I couldn’t make his choices for him and he couldn’t make then for me.”

“I guess I’m just worried.”

“And well you should. The mess between then will worked out one way or the other just as it had with us.”

“Meaning?”

Taking Blaine by the shoulders, Kurt turned her husband-to-be around. Leaning in, Kurt passionately kissed his boyfriend. Moist skin separated and remained half an inch apart. In a seductive tone, “Meaning you caught me and slipped a very beautiful ring on my finger. Now you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“We could go for a walk along the river.”

“Or we could go dancing?”

“Dancing?”

“Dancing.”

“But you have school tomorrow.”

“My mom told me to show my handsome boyfriend a good time. That’s exactly what I am going to do. ”


	11. Something New

An old man smiled. He brooded. He always had. Kurt, on the other hand, had this wonderful and maddening way of just shoving everything into a hidden compartment. The man he loved hated it when he brought something up again years later. It caused arguments but also allowed them to grow. 

Yes, they acted like lovesick puppies even to the end. How could they not. It almost seemed like fate when their eyes first met. Blaine had regrets though. Who would not? After all he suffered the same failings as everyone else—jealousy, lust, remorse, pleasure and most of all love. He never got tired of being with Kurt even if the man annoyed him. He would trade none of it. It made life worth it. 

Similar fond remembrances marked the day he felt the shackles loosen. It started out as a horrific heartbreak but ended with warm blushing. On that day, for the first time, a teen had been brutally honest with the man he loved. The words of his proposal left him with a feeling of such joy he could have burst. As he came down, he realized he needed to open his heart. At the time Blaine did not know what an old man knew now. It saved them as a couple and friends.

This newly found freedom did not come without a price. Blaine struggled but, like an onion, it unraveled overtime. Advancing years made such memories hard to recall but at this moment, Blaine saw everything with clarity. An old man marveled at how he had been and who he had become. The smells, the caresses and tastes came to him as if time meant little. Life might have left Kurt’s sexy body but the essence of him remained embedded in the heart. A happenstance on a curving stare made it all happen.

Drawing large amounts of air into his chest caused pain to shoot down weary limbs reminding him of his nagging doubts. The conscious mind looked at is as a fault while the heart saw it as a means to face undermining issues. Long ago he wrote the word ‘Courage’ into a text message. It held true now as it had on the dance floor. 

Curtains of darkness greeted them as two young men stepped through the door. Pin lights in the ceiling reflected on the face of the burly man at the door. The plaid texture of his shirt lost itself in the lack of light. Sudden brightness caused both boys to blink as a flashlight blasted in their faced. Holding out the identifications they had not used since the last time they had been here. The handsome man with a tight beard looked them up and down as he wiggled his jaw from side to side. Finally, he gave them a knowing look. Rolled his eyes, he handed their identifications back and signaled with his head they could enter. 

Blaine almost stumbled but Kurt’s calm soothed. Just as nervous as the last time he entered this place he remembered four words—Kurt’s date, Kurt’s choice. His handsome boyfriend wanted to dance and Blaine loved the idea until he saw the door. 

Time held Scandals in a bubble. It still smelled of stale beer and the carpet still stuck to the bottom of their shoes. Dark walls and dim lighting made the perfect place for people to hide. Flashing lights above the dance floor provided a break from the gloom where wandering hands could roamed. Red, blue, yellow and green mixed with stark white, the patterns played on a wooden floor. Reflecting off the mirror behind the bar and along two walls of the dance floor it gave the long room a feeling of excitement.

Just past the entrance stood an average height drag queen with less than average read hair. Decked out in a dark green sequin gown a bright plum of red rose up from forehead in a great beehive. Facial makeup accentuated the eyes while trying to obscure masculine features. 

“Lucille Ball,’ Kurt murmured to Blaine as they walked by. 

“She needs a long cigarette.” Blaine whispered.

“And new shoes.” Kurt tried not to make it look as if he looked the drag queen up and down. 

Nodding, Blaine could not help up notice how many eyes fell on them. “I feel like fresh, young meat.”

Inches from Blaine’s year, Kurt softly announced, “But you’re my fresh young meat.” 

Taking Kurt’s left hand in his right made Blaine more comfortable. “The crowd looks the same.”

“Yeah. What do we have here? A mix of thirty something to ancient.”

“Kurt?”

“The younger crowd will not show up until eleven. About one, the older crowd will flock about the young ones like hungry vultures.”

“New York knowledge.”

“I heard people talk. Look over at the end of the bar.”

Hazel eyes shifted that way. Two drag queens dressed in red and yellow with large blond hair stood off to one side talking to an elderly gentlemen. They looked like matched bookends in slinky mini-dresses with rhinestones and tiaras. Huge lashes flared out from makeup heavy eyes. With legs for days, their seven inch heels made Blaine feel like a dwarf. The casually dressed middle aged man squished between them took note of Blaine. One eye opened wider as his tongue slithered over his lips. Without thinking Blain gripped Kurt’s hand tighter.

On the stage a mid-forties fellow sang to the words projected on a television screen. A few paces from the amateur show a group of men dressed as if they had just come off the fields laughed. Beers in hand, two sat while the other two stood facing them. They cheered their mate on stage while making jokes. 

“This is kind of disappointing,” Blaine commented in a low voice so the three men they passed by would not hear them. “I bet if we were in New York this place would be packed.”

“Fear does not . . .” Kurt suddenly jumped. Looking at Blaine with a scrunched up brow, he said, “Someone just pinched my bum.”

“Damn, I wanted to do that,” Blaine playfully replied with a huge smile. With tug he pulled Kurt out of range.

“Later,” Kurt leaned in with an impish grin. His eyes darted here and there.

“Promises, promises,” Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand. 

“What do you want to drink, honey?”

“Not as much as the last time we were here.”

“I blame it all on someone’s need to get into your pants.”

“You mean his need to get me back with the Warblers. He would have loved me and left anyhow.”

“I would have fought for you.”

“A real knock down drag out fight.”

“Finn would have wiped his ass.”

Blaine chuckled and began to walk toward the bar. Regardless of being eye candy for someone in their sixties, Blaine felt good. He reentered the place of a past disgrace with the love of his life on his arms. No skinny Warbler would split them apart. Last year, Kurt sat on one of the bar stools watching the two dance. Sebastian did everything he could to keep Blaine’s focused on him but no matter what, hazel always found blue. 

Clutching Kurt’s hand again, Blaine said with a smile, “I’ll have a beer but after two I’ll switch to soda and lime juice. You’ll probably have something with an umbrella in it.”

“Na,” Kurt looked Blaine in those heavenly eyes. “I think I will have a gin and tonic.”

“A grown up drink?”

“I learned a few things in New York.”

“Like drinking?”

“And other things.”

The mood sudden shifted and Blaine’s face sort of dropped. 

“Don’t you worry, my fussy haired fiancé?” Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine. “Everything I learned I did for you.”

“Adam?”

“Jealous?”

“A little.”

Leaning into his boyfriend, Kurt shoved him playfully. “You’re so sweet when you’re jealous.”

“Me?” Blaine placed a hand on his chest. He could feel his heart pounding.

With a grin, Kurt poked Blaine in the chest. “You.”

Tugging his love toward the bar, Blaine ordered two gin and tonics. Cooper had introduced his younger, underage brother to several types of alcohol last fall when the kid’s life spun in the balance. If Kurt liked it, Blaine could learn to like it. 

Glasses clinked together and the two boys took a sip. Blaine’s face pulled in and Kurt laughed. Standing side by side almost like real adults having an adult drink in an adult bar felt perfect. For a moment Blaine felt he could burst out into song but then liquid bravery might help. Well no. The last time he let it all go, he sort of did a semi-strip tease. 

“Let’s dance?” Kurt suddenly suggested.

Suddenly Blaine did not feel all that courageous. Glancing at his drink Blaine gave Kurt a look. 

“You’re playing shy,” Kurt teased before taking a long swig of his drink.

“I don’t have your experiences,” Blaine blurt out before he could think.

Kurt hesitated and then quietly said, “You have all the experience I need and in all the right fields.”

Blushing, Blaine’s smile could have lit the room. Preparing himself for the taste to come, he took a large sip of his drink. Shaking his head he barely noticed someone squeeze between himself and his lover. A hand fell on his chest and another on his shoulder pushing him back. 

Taking a sudden step Blaine exclaimed, “Hey!”

“Don’t get too excited Warblerboy,” a familiar voice said in hushed tones.

“Sebastian?” Blaine focused on the man pressed between himself and Kurt. Dark brows pushed together as he tried to see around the obstruction to find Kurt. The force of the shove had almost knocked his boyfriend off his feet. His adorable fiancé caught the stool preventing it from toppling over.

“Hi there lover boy. Out on the town painting it parsley?” Sebastian eyes glistened with mischievous. Pushing back at Kurt he wedged out a larger space for himself.

Pinkish red highlights flushed across Blaine’s cheeks as a memory flashed in his mind. Something wet splashed his face followed by aching roughness grating against his eye. He blinked. 

Sebastian smirked and pressed closer. “I had that much of an affect on you.”

Regaining his composure, Blaine’s eyes looked past Sebastian. Anger pinched his chest when he noted the look on the face of the man he loved. A foot moved so Blaine could step around Sebastian. The annoying and often charming Dalton student anticipated the action. 

Grinning at the shorter man with gelled down curly hair, Sebastian almost looked apologetic. Spinning around he said in a low, almost mockingly quiet tone, “Oh, didn’t see you there Kurt.”

Kurt grinned at the beady eyed snake.

Ignoring Kurt, the slushy thrower turned his attention back to Blaine. With one of his patented charming, snake oil smiles he said, “It was fun to be included in your little drama.”

“It wasn’t a drama, Sebastian. I meant every word of it.” Peering past Sebastian Blaine could see the rage brewing in those charming blue eyes. Subtly shaking his head at his lover as if saying ‘keep it cool’.

Sebastian drooled, “Do I get a dance?” 

Images of Kurt driving himself between a slightly inebriated and all too innocent boy and a viper rose in Blaine’s mind. That night Kurt became his chivalrous knight even though it took Blaine a couple of days to realize it. A moment on an empty stage brought two hearts back together again. In the days which followed Blaine looked at his life to discover he lived with his head in the clouds. He dreamed of the future while Kurt lived for the moment and planned.

Head cocked to one side, Blaine’s expression changed. “Yes, I came here to dance.”

A huge smile parted Blaine’s lips causing Sebastian’s eyes to lighten up. Flushing ever so slightly Blaine reached out taking Kurt’s hand. Hauling the man he loved out on the dance floor they left a bothersome snake coiled on a stool.

“Your date’s not over yet.” Blaine gave Kurt a sly look and then blew his lover a kiss across the top of the car. Sweat beaded between his shoulder blades. The clock beat at half past midnight and Blaine felt happy. He ordered two spirited drinks but only finished one. Watching Kurt dance had been enough to get him high. 

Bashfully smiling and happily sated from dancing, Kurt returned the gesture. “I loved the first part, especially the look on Sebastian’s face.”

Looking up at the moon, Blaine hesitated.

“What you thinking my beautiful daydreamer?” Leaning against the edge of the car, the door swung back hitting Kurt in the rump.

“Making a wish.”

“Oh?”

“A wished we will dance together for the rest of our lives.”

“I think I can help make that come true.”

“Me too.”

“You hungry?”

“What do you suggest?”

“You’ll see.”

Dark, thick brows pulled together as Blaine gazed at Kurt. He tried to give Kurt an ‘I’m not impressed’ look but it just did not come off that way. Thirty minutes later than sat side by side in a moderately lit booth in a restaurant Blaine would normally not go to. Narrow eyes studied the dish before him with uncertainty.

“Try it?” Kurt urged.

Blaine’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know?” 

“Don’t knock it until you try it,” Kurt purred. “When you get New York you’re going to have to try all sorts of things. The city has food from all over the world.”

The face of the teen with the gelled down hair contorted. “But it’s not cooked?”

Rolling his eyes, Kurt grinned. “Duh, its sushi.”

“I know they eat this stuff on TV and in the movies but . . .”

“Millions of Japanese eat this every day and all that oil is good for the complexion.”

“Taking the vanity route isn’t going to get me to try that.”

“Yeah but it’ll make you skin look so good.”

“What am I, a dog? Oh Blaine, your curly locks are so soft and shiny. Am I suppose to wag my tail?”

“You have a wonderfully thick tail.”

Brows pushing together, Blaine gave Kurt an odd look. “You’ve changed.”

“New York changes everyone who goes there.” Scooting closer on the bench, Kurt’s thigh pressed against Blaine’s. Leaning closer he pointed at some of the rolls and other stuff on the plate with his chopsticks. “This is cooked prawns . . .”

The closeness of his fiancé caused the heart to skip a beat. Blaine loved the man but? Yes, but? The word change resonated within his mind. Kurt looked so adorable, he had to give in. “I guess its safe then. What of the ones just hanging there over a block of rice like some sacrifice to an Aztec god?”

“Tuna, tuna, prawn and salmon.”

“I never thought there were so many different kinds of tuna.”

“There’s tons.”

“We could have gotten a burger or a salad?”

Chuckling, Kurt pushed his shoulder into Blaine’s. “My date, my place.”

“I’ll remember that.” Blaine pointed a chopstick at the adorable young man with an impish grin. He held them like spears. “I guess I have to try.”

Picking up a pawn wrapped in rice with his chopsticks, Kurt held it up to Blaine. Honey amber locked on blue. Not wanting to do this, the expression on Kurt’s face sunk into his heart—innocence mixed with a hint of new world adventure. It worked. Leaning forward he accepted the offering and closed his mouth around the morsel. It filled the entire cavity of his mouth like something else he enjoyed. 

One eyebrow went up followed by another. Chewing, he disliked the way the rice stuck to his teeth. Gulping it down he admitted, “This isn’t bad.”

Triumphantly grinning, Kurt squeezed Blaine’s leg. Staring at the handsome man he slyly smiled. “I told you.”

“I should never have doubted.” Blaine reached out to the plate stabbing another roll.

From out of the blue, the boy who never wanted to show affection in public leaned close and gave Blaine a chaste peak on the lips. 

Blaine eyes darted about. Few noticed. 

“You’re blushing,” Kurt cooed. His nose rested barely and inch from Blaine’s ear.

Blaine felt warm air puff against his skin. Turning, Kurt’s nose lay within an inch of his. “I’ve always been mushy.”

“I like mushy Blaine.”

“When I’m all over the place. I was not always like this.”

“Yes you were. You just hid it well in the blazer of yours.”

“I did look good.”

“Yes you did.”

Blaine suddenly sighed.

Brows pressing together, Kurt softly asked, “What?”

“Can we talk about it later?”

“You can’t let things worry you so much.”

“Kurt . . . it’s just . . .”

“That you want to enjoy every last second with me.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, we’ll table this until later but time’s running out.”

“I know.” Blaine looked sad. “Sunday will be here too soon.”

Taking Blaine’s hand in his, Kurt gently kissed it. That got them a few looks. Ignoring them, he said, “I promise you it won’t be like last time. We’ve learned so much about what love really is.”

Smiling, Blaine peeked Kurt on the lips followed by a rush of pink up his neck and cheeks. Since the proposal Kurt exuded confidence. Tonight he held nothing back. Blaine found it refreshed and a little bit scary at the same time.

“That’s a down payment I hope.” Blue eyes scanned over Blaine’s shoulders. A few people gave them funny looks. 

“You bet it is.” Blaine impishly winked. Hazel froze on blue. His brow twitched with every beat of his heart. Why did his mind doubt his soul?

“You’re not going to lose me, Blaine.”

“I almost did.”

“True, but I didn’t enjoy it either.”

“When we spoke at Grease, it killed me.”

“I was a miserable so-in-so who could not see a good thing through my own pride. And before you go there. Yes, we hurt each another.”

“And Adam.”

“He’s nice but he is not you. It just took smooching in a backseat of a car to make me realize it.”

“Poor Tina.”

“Poor Mercedes. But you know me . . . stubborn. When you asked me to stick around for regionals, I knew something was up. But then you were so cute. It felt like I was looking into the eyes of a big puppy dog. How could I resist that?”

“Rolled up newspaper as floor play.”

Kurt’s skin reddened. 

Blaine’s eyebrows shot up. “You liked that.”

To change the subject he picked one of the salmon rolls and held it out for Blaine. 

Taking the food into his mouth, the people about them caught Blaine’s attention. An older couple near the window gave him a sour look. Across the room he saw a scruffy young man with long, messy hair taking their picture with a phone.

Gripping a piece of sashimi, Kurt popped it into his mouth and went to pick up his tea. His head moved to his left and stopped. Out of view of the rest of the restaurant, he too Blaine’s hand. He followed through with an air kiss before whispering, “You’re worried. Your brow is twitching.”

Swallowing, a deep breath filled Blaine’s lunges. He tried to keep things upbeat for Kurt. His date, his rules. Not wanting to ruin it he tried to hold it all in but it hurt. “Just thinking of today.”

“You’re mom will be fine.” Kurt rubbed Blaine’s thigh.

The tightness in Blaine’s chest flickered with pain. Sighing he smiled at Kurt and whispered. “Thank you for making me feel better.”

“Any time, sweetie.”

“I guess I’m still feeling a little raw.”

“It was uncomfortable.”

“Yeah. I hate to think what could be happening back home.”

“I know and worried.”

“Oh?”

“I’m going back to New York leaving you here in a toxic environment. Can’t I worry?”

Bumping his shoulder into Kurt's, Blaine smiled. “I worry about you too.”

Two boys stared at each other for a few seconds. Emotion filled their eyes. Bowing his head ever so slightly Kurt softly said, “We’ll be alright.”

Nodding, Blaine shyly grinned. “I dread going back home to the lonely bed and my father.”

“Believe me, I want to be in that bed next to you. Even if I still lived here, we couldn’t do that until we moved out.”

“It’s such a nice thought.”

“Waking up to you every morning would be beautiful.”

Toying with his food, Blaine tipped a roll of rise and something else over onto its side. “I wish I could go with you.”

Kurt shifted on the bench so that his body faced Blaine. “Me too.” 

“My protective side says I need to take care of my mom.” Blaine sighed. “But my heart wants . . .”

A knee pressed against Blaine’s thigh. “I hate it too.”

Blaine looked down. “But . . .”

“You have nothing to fear, my love.” Kurt’s left hand slipped into Blaine’s right. “I’ve already told Adam.”

A surprised look crossed Blaine’s face. 

Kurt did not look too happy. “He did not take it well.” 

“I can imagine.” 

“I did feel something for him.”

“I know.”

Kurt squeezed the hand he held.

“History being history he do not want to repeat what was. I just want to find ways to keep us happy and our relationship healthy.” The truth shown in Blaine’s eyes. 

“I want that as well.”

“I know our days apart will be tedious but it’s only a few months to graduation.”

“I’m coming to watch you throw your cap in the air.”

“Kurt, Pandora’s Box when I took your hand that day. Being apart from you was such anguish. I beat myself every day. I . . .” Blaine’s voice died away. He could not say it. Tiny flakes of snow invaded his thoughts and the smell of car exhaust.

Fear touched Kurt’s but he did not care. Placing a hand on his fiancé’s cheek he looked concerned. “Blaine?”

“New York and NYADA has been good to you.”

“It will be for you too.”

“Kurt, I see a whole new life in your eyes.”

“And its scares you.”

“Am, I ready for it? I don’t know.”

“If it helps, I will be there with you all the way.”

“One thing I do know is I want to be with you always.”

“So do I.”

“I missed you so much. It almost . . . well.“ Blaine’s heart froze. He could not reveal that. “ . . . Sam, Tina and Artie filled the spaces but my heart felt so empty.” 

“Oh, Blaine,” Kurt’s hand fell on to Blaine’s lap. 

Sad hazel eyes locked on blue as waves of pain swelled through Blaine’s heart. “You never left me Kurt. How could you? I walked the halls and heard your voice. Sitting the courtyard made me think of lunches in the sun. Every time I would look to the seat you usually occupied I felt pain.”

Wetness glistened in Kurt’s eyes. 

Finding it impossible to tear his eyes from Kurt, Blaine felt the tension in his chest ease. In a low tone he admitted, “I failed the person I love and the person I am. Nothing could have prepared me for what I felt.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” Kurt gave Blaine an inquisitive look.

Blaine gazed at Kurt with wet eyes. “Honestly, Kurt, I hate the idea of being alone again. After I did what I did, my soul wept. I never want to feel that again.”

Crinkles formed around those lovely blue orbs. The bright and innocent face Blaine had fallen in love with did not look all so radiant. Slowly a broad and uncharacteristically large smile lit up a beautiful face. Taking two tanned hands in his, Kurt announced in a hushed tone, “I love you so very much, Blaine Anderson.” 

“I love you, my precious Kurt Hummel.” Blaine’s words came out so low they hovered on seductive.


	12. Surprise

“Are you crying?” Kurt quietly asked.

“No . . .” Blaine looked embarrassed. “Well . . . yes.”

Pulling back from the hug, Kurt wiped the tear from Blaine’s cheek. Sucking on his salty finger, he said in the softest tone, “M-m-m-m, your taste. It will need to keep me until we are together again.”

Fondly smiling, Blaine sniffled. Laying his head no Kurt’s shoulder his heart pounded in his chest.

Running a hand across the back of fiancé’s neck, Kurt whispered in a soft tone, “I love you, Blaine. I really do.”

“I love you too,” Blaine choked on the words and lifted his head. Gazing into those warm blue eyes he added, “I miss you already.”

Kurt kissed Blaine and pulled him closer. “I’m looking forward to being at the airport when you finally move to New York. I might have a little surprise for you.” 

After the kiss, Blaine smiled. “Really?”

“Really.” Kurt hugged Blaine again.

A hand fell onto Kurt’s shoulder. His father stepped closer saying, “Time to go through security. Don’t worry Kurt, Carole and I will watch out for Blaine.”

One more fabulous hug and Kurt sucked in a deep breath. Picked up his bag he kissed his lover and his parents. Looking back as he passed through the barrier toward the first official, he waved. Three hands waved back. The teen among adults snuffled by tears. Carole slid her arm about Blaine’s shoulder to comfort him. 

Hazel eyes blinked bringing everything into perspective. Rain dripped on the window driving steaks of grim down the side of the bus. The subway had been busy but, this? He could have walked faster. The noise crashed in on him. A faint hint of garbage wafted through the open window along with the shrill honking of horns. The woman beside him loudly chatted on her phone. Two kids up front screamed as their mother stared out the window at the street. 

Holding his bag on his lap, Blaine endured the seemingly endless bus ride. The driver argued with one or two passengers as the traffic crawled along at a snails pace. On one hand Blaine loved it. The thrill of life gripped him but then the mountains of concrete made him pout. Ohio had so much open space and here it squeezed in on you like giants waiting to stomp. The first time he visited the sights amazed him. So big. So tall. Stars filled his eyes. The second time the luster fell away as he saw the other side of New York. He read about worse. No wonder Kurt had changed. A city like New York toughens one up.

Excited by the prospect of seeing his love, Blaine held his emotions tight. Since Kurt returned to New York, Blaine felt frantic, then calm and very much in love. Marriage loomed in his future and that, by itself, stopped him from going bonkers. On top of everything, a surprise package from Kurt provided a questionable method of release—a sex toy. The gesture puzzled Blaine until that evenings Skype season when Kurt revealed he had bought a Blaine sized device for himself. He even called it Blaine. Making love that way felt weird and by no means the same, but it tamed an itch Blaine refused to scratch. 

The two Skyped every day and talked about many things. Yes, they still watched their favourite shows and browsed the holy bible of fashion—GQ. Kurt, while being his somewhat selfish self, did not monopolize the conversations. Over time they learned to listen without getting excited. Kurt got mad at Blaine twice over some little thing. When Blaine exploded, they did not talk until the next day. 

The fight pushed Blaine into hysterics. Thank god, Daniel traveled for business and unfortunately his mom worked late leaving a panicky teen to his own devices. A surprise call from Cooper brought Blaine’s ego up short. His brother put it all on the line and he agreed with Kurt. Blaine had acted like an idiot. A teen did not sleep that night. Desperate, Blaine called Kurt early in the morning. They lay on their respective beds staring at each other. Tears filled their eyes. 

The sobering moment caused Blaine days of hardship. He missed Kurt so much it hurt. Early morning cybersex wore thin. He wanted to hold the dear man. He had two problems—school and money. The disappointment sent him into a spiral which Kurt easily picked up on. One night Blaine embarrassed himself when he got super sentimental and cried. For the next two hours they softly talked and consoled each other. Kurt missed Blaine just as much.

A sudden stop jolted Blaine into the side of the bus. A rush of fresh air raced through the tight space as people clambered to get off while new rider climbed on. The noise level rose again and then it moved on again. Looking out the window he saw a street sign. Five more block. Eyes rolled up and became fixed on an advertisement for a New York coffee chain. It took him back to the Limabean where someone loudly cleared their throated almost on top of him.

Startled, Blaine’s head shot up. The imprint of his knuckles on his cheek looked hot red. Engrossed in his thoughts, he had not even noticed the man’s approach. He stammered. “Uh . . . Burt?” 

Taking off his jacket, Burt asked, “Can I join you.”

Nodding, Blaine replied, “Please do.”

Pulling out a chair and sitting, Burt placed his coffee on the table. His eyes racked over the book with a pen on the fold and a half drunk coffee. “You’re a little wrapped up.”

“Guess I’m tired of studying.” Blaine helplessly shrugged. “How are you today?”

“Good, good, but I am more worried about you?”

Sitting up, Blaine looked Burt right in the eyes. His tongue moved about his lips and then he grinned. “Thank you Burt, I’m doing alright.”

“Blaine, I’ve been around the block a few more times than you have.” Burt sat back and sipped his coffee. “While I appreciate you wanting to do this all on your own, be real.”

The teen looked surprised “What do you mean?”

“You’re in school with a part time job at the music store. You miss Kurt, right?”

“More than you can believe.”

“I can believe a lot, kid. I miss him too. He looked like a forlorn puppy.”

“You saw him?” Blaine suddenly became alert. Shuffling forward on his chair he did not want to miss a word. His elbow knocked his drink. He caught it before it toppled over.

“I stayed over Sunday night on my way to Washington. He’s doing well and has been keeping himself busy. The only thing he wanted to talk about was you.”

A deep sigh escaped Blaine’s nostrils. 

Reaching into his inside coat pocket, Burt pulled out an envelope. Pushing it across the table he did not say a word. 

A normal envelope. Blaine felt disappointed. For a second the thought Burt might be delivering a little something from his son. “What’s this?”

“Just open it.” Burt his is smile behind the rim of his coffee cup.

Picking it up, Blaine’s brows pulled together. It felt heavy and thick. Opening it, Blaine’s stared at several sheets of folded paper. Tugging it out and flipping one end up his eyes went wide—prepaid airline tickets. Staring at Burt he said, “I can’t accept this.”

Straight-faced, Burt said, “Think of it as an investment.”

Shaking his head, Blaine gave Burt one of those crowd wooing smiles. Exhilaration struck his heart even as he mind argued.

“Consider it an interest free loan,” Pam suddenly said from behind.

Whirling around Blaine’s eyes went wide. “Mom?”

Giving her youngest a hug, Pam sat next to him. She had snuck in while Burt kept her son distracted. Mischief glistened in her eyes making her look mysterious and beautiful. Blaine considered his mother to be Hollywood stunning. His dad had not given him his good looks. As a kid, Pam’s normal carefree attitude thrilled Blaine. As he grew and the truth of his sexuality came out it wilted under the pressure. He hated it.

Burt grinned and said to Blaine, “Carole, your mother and I don’t want to see the two of you return to that miserable state. You’re getting married. Can’t have it all falling apart.”

The look on Blaine’s face hardened at first as his brows furrowed. Morally he could not do this. Seconds later his expression softened and he allowed himself a small smile.

“Look at it this way,” Burt’s lips curled up into an impish grin. “I will never get grandkids if two of you stop trying.”

The teenager laughed and the adults joined in. The idea of children pleased Blaine. Kurt often baby sat the neighbour’s kids. He played with them in the backyard yelling and screaming just as they youngsters did. Seeing Kurt like that made Blaine happy. The usually guarded teen let his barriers down and just have a good time. 

Kids? A dreamy look crossed Blaine’s face. He supposed there could be a way two men could have them. The news talked about the court’s ruling in favour of gay adoption. He had heard of women carrying children for male couples. The two head strong young men had to get to the altar first. Then perhaps?

“I think he’s broken,” Pam playfully commented as he watched her son. 

Shaking his head, Blaine blinked. “What?”

Burt smirked. 

“You’ll accept this?” Pam quietly pushed.

“Mom, while its great of you and Burt and Carole, I . . .” A hand falling on Blaine’s shoulder cut off the teen off. Long fingernails drew a pattern on his skin. His mother always did that when she wanted to be persuasive.

Burt stared at his future son-in-law. “Blaine, I know how hard this is on you. Believe me it’s hard on Kurt too. He misses you just as much. In fact he told me so a couple of hours ago.”

A flush of heat rolled up Blaine’s chest into his cheeks. Kurt thought of him. He missed him. His stomach did a somersault. 

“Let us help you two.” Pam patted her son’s hand. “You’ve always been stubborn and doing this would make me so happy.”

Blaine blushed. “What about dad?”

“He has no say in this.” Pam’s eyes narrowed and then brightened. “Cooper even chipped in.”

Flickering eyes temporarily blocked Blaine’s view.

“Blaine, you don’t have to accept this if you don’t want.” Burt sipped his coffee. His eyes narrowed. “The two of you are almost men . . .”

“Not quite yet.” Pam interrupted.

“For all intensive purposes they are. Regardless of what I had to say, you hand the guts to ask my son to marry you. In my books that makes you a man, Blaine. You know what you want and you know it will not be easy.”

“Oh, I know it sir.” Blaine shyly responded. He felt embarrassed but also pleased. Speaking to Burt that afternoon took all the nerve he could muster.

“Knock off the sir stuff. You’re family, Blaine and have been for a long time now.” Burt gave Blaine one of those smiles. “Kurt knows nothing of this. Go this Friday and surprise him. He’ll love it.”

“I’ll send a note to school and tell them you will be leaving early.” Pam smiled.

A chair scrapped against the floor as Blaine rose and threw his arms about his mother. Hugging her his head fell against her shoulder. At the edge of life, an old man loved the sensation bubbling in his chest. When two teenagers first met, Blaine had been a different person. Being with Kurt changed him. At McKinley he found a purpose. Yes, he missed his fellow Warblers. He met with Trent for coffee often enough. The large set Warbler remained a close friend until his death twenty five years ago. Sitting behind his desk in an office in central Texas, he had a massive heart attack. Many Warblers showed up for the funeral.

Wishing he had his glasses, Blaine turned his head do he gazed at the man he loved. He wanted to see the twinkle in those blue eyes. Years of staring into them burned an unforgettable image into his mind. Eighty, ninety or even one hundred years did not seem like enough. He often wondered what would happen if they could have lived for one thousand or even ten thousand years. The thought made him laugh. Kurt considered such things as flights of fancy. Blaine looked at them as a brave new world.

Fortunately they almost made one hundred. Blaine felt proud. Laying his head on Kurt’s wrinkled hand his mind shifted back into his life. The days of his youth unfolded about him as if he read a book.

The memory of his younger self-sitting nervously in the airport lounge amused an old man. Giddy, nervous and a little bit frightened, he held his phone in his hand. Kurt should be between classes. Waiting ate into him. He would have preferred to be in the air. Fidgeting with the mobile device his fingers swiped a number and then suddenly canceled the call. He felt stupid. Kurt would pick up on the excitement in his voice.

Patting the hand of his departed lover, old Blaine looked up at his quiet face and smiled. So beautiful even in death. Love filled old hazel eyes as it did the first day they first met. Holding hands and quiet chats pleased Blaine. Making up after an argument or finding a special moment between the cries of babies made Kurt’s eyes shine stronger. Mischievous acts of surprise brought devilish delight. The bubble gum wrapper ring had been one of Kurt’s favourites. 

They knew each other too well. Every little twitch or body motion told a story Blaine found wonderfully enticing. A little flick of the lip and the way a Kurt rolled his index finger in revealed the mood. One stage they played off each other with unspoken grace. How could two people read each other so well? 

One hot and sunny May morning Blaine snuck up at a boy leaning against a tree with a book on his lap. Kurt’s pristine jacket lay neatly folded on his back with his lunch sitting on top of it. Both had a spare periods before lunch and Kurt had asked Blaine to meet him at their spot at the end of his gym class. 

An old man chuckled at the thought. He loved the awareness the moment brought.

Feeling rambunctious suited young Blaine. After all he had kissed a boy and really . . . really liked it. Taking it slow allowed all sorts of fantasies to fill his mind. What did Kurt look like under all those layers? The package between his legs titillated. What would it be like? Blaine blushed but his already flushed skin hid it.

Bending over to make it look as if he caught his breath, Blaine’s eyes remained locked on the target. Other boys sped by him on their way to the locker room. Stan slowed to see if Blaine needed help but he just waved the dark headed hunk on. Stan had a great body for his age and entertained not one but two girlfriends. Oddly, Stan found the idea of guy ogling him flattering. 

Blaine, young and old, had to smile. Stan, like everyone else knew Blaine had the hots for Kurt before Blaine did himself. It made for a few good and often embarrassing laughs.

With the coast clear and Kurt spellbound by his reading, Blaine crept through the flower bed avoiding the gardener’s prized blooms. At one point, the soles of his shoe squeaked and he froze. Slipping his feet out of his sneakers and then stooped down to pick them up. Padding across the grass in his bare feet due to his customary lack of socks, he came up on Kurt’s blind side. Peering around the curving edge of the tree at the adorable teen, he broke into a huge smile just before he leaped out.

The book went for a fly landing a few feet away. Kurt’s hand had come up to his chest as his face registered surprise. Kurt panted as he suppressed the words he would have rather not used. “Blaine?” 

“Surprise!” Blaine crotched down with a huge smile. 

The expression on Kurt’s face shifted from anger to the cutest smirk. Blaine watched him with adoring eyes soaking in every morsel Kurt offered. Those stunning blue eyes stared right into his making Blaine melt. Everything about Kurt made him swoon. He wanted a taste of those lips. Kissing had become one of their favourite pass times. Kurt, being Kurt, shied away but then he also had an enthusiastic side under the right circumstances. Down below he felt tingling and then something stretching against his loose fitting shorts.

Kurt blushed. He looked so charming when his naturally pale skin tone turned rosy. The smoothness around Kurt’s eyes titillated and those long lashes made Blaine feel warm inside. Those crystalline pools had a grip on him and then Blaine realized why Kurt flushed. Tugged on the t-shirt stuffed in the back of his shorts, he awkwardly pulling it over his head.

Kurt’s brows pressed together and then redness of his skin deepened. He stared at Blaine with hungry eyes.

Sitting cross-legged on the grass, Blaine dropped his shoes beside him. “Sorry, I scared you.”

“No . . . no,” Kurt faltered on two simple words. 

“Am I interrupting?”

“It’s just history.”

“My favourite.” 

“You did the ten mile run?”

“Yeah, I’m a little winded.”

“I noticed.” Kurt’s eyes shifted away and back. 

Smiling, Blaine looked around and then placed a hand on Kurt’s. “I should go shower.”

“Ah, yeah . . . Blaine . . .” Kurt glanced away, his face becoming even redder. Eyes locked on the other teen’s chest. He grinned.

Curious, Blaine leaned forward. “Kurt?”

Lowering his head and then glanced back at his handsome boyfriend. Innocently Kurt spoke in a soft tone, “That was the first time I saw you with your shirt off.”

Eyes opening wide Blaine had it all wrong. He thought Kurt had noticed the spreading tent in his shorts. Well, he might have but his words still came as a pleasant surprise. 

Kurt shyly grinned. “You’re . . . you’re so perfect.”

The word prefect bounced around invaded his dreams that night. Waking up three times he could not get it out of his head. For a young, impressionable teen who had never had a lover before, it filled his heart with joy. Kurt started the habit of singing the song ‘Perfect’ in the in the car. Blaine may not be old enough to drive but Kurt has recently received his license. The times when Burt allowed his son to barrow the car became another escape. Eventually Kurt bought his own car with the money he saved up from working in his father’s tire store. Too afraid to do what Blaine would have liked to, they loved the freedom. 

The sentient of remembering kept Blaine’s spirits high as the crowded bus rumble on. While he did not say ii that day, Blaine knew what enticed Kurt—manly hair sprouting on his chest. The dear boy liked it. Blaine did not. Since it started to sprout shaving become part of his morning ritual. He wished he had been blessed with a virtually hairless body like Kurt.

A sudden bump rocked the bus and jostled those standing in the aisle. Blaine forced his eyes closed and opened them again. Someone new sat beside him. The kids had gotten off somewhere and he needed to pee.

Looking out the window he recognized neighbourhood buildings among the stone landscape of the huge city. The florist came into view and a coffee shop. He needed to stop there to relieve his desperation. Getting flowers crossed his mind but the last time he did that they broke up. No, he did not want to think of that. 

The bus stopped at the end of the next block. Hauling his shoulder bag down the steps Blaine looked out into the crowds. New York at its best—people everywhere. Odd odours reminded him of New York at its worst. Block on block of huge buildings hid the sky. Feeling like a dwarf, his eyes scanned the skyline as water dripped on his face. One day he would live here close to a park. Dreams do come true after all. He would be married soon.

After taking care of a dire need, Blaine settled in to wait. It would be time for Skyping soon and he knew Kurt would be home. He planned to arrive a quarter hour early. Kurt would be logging on ahead of time. This reunion would be special. The look on that charming face would be priceless. Just thinking about it made him vibrate. 

Waiting as long as he could, Blaine finally got up. Dropping his half finished coffee at the counter, he tipped the barista and told her she could dump it. With butterflies fluttering in his stomach, he turned toward the door. Ten more minutes and he would be in Kurt’s loving arms. Digging into his pocket he pulled out the key Kurt had sent him with the toy. Bouncing up and down on his feet he smiled.

Time flashed by and an eager teen stood before the big sliding door to the loft. Pausing he placed a hand on the wall. Closing his eyes he drew in a few short breaths. Fear gripped him. What if . . . no. If Burt told the truth, Kurt would be happy to see him. Doubts? Why did he have all these doubts? Kurt had agreed to marry him. There had been no trap. He wanted this. He needed this. They both needed this.

Swallowing as he drew in a deep breath his shoulders fell as he breathed out. Pushing the key into the lock he turned it and heard a solid click. Grinning to himself, Blaine grabbed the handle and hauled the door to the right. The sights of the loft assaulted his eyes. It felt like coming home. Without hesitation he stepped in and abruptly stopped. No one? Then he heard running water and noticed movement behind the curtain patrician for Kurt’s room.

In a few short strides his hand reached up to fabric and tugged it. Grinning from ear to ear, the surprise would be complete. What a surprise it turned out to be. Blaine’s face fell. Before him stood a slender man in his late twenties with super short red hair pulling on a pair of tight and very revealing white underwear. The man half turned toward him revealing a hard eight pack and firm chest.

Stunned, Blaine just stood there. His heart rocketed to the floor as a tear glistened in the corners of his eyes. Heat boiled up under his skin as emotions took over. Turning on his heels he snatched up his bag making a quick retreat. The strange young man called after the departing intruder.

At the same moment Kurt stepped through the bathroom door wearing a towel loosely about his hips. Water dripped from his hair and down his torso. In a high pitched astonishment voice he called out, “Blaine?”

The dumbfounded look on Kurt’s face went unnoticed as Blaine stormed out into the hall.


	13. Stupid

“Blaine!” Santana’s voice spiked high.

The back of his travel bag skipped off the floor as the teen with the gelled down hair had no answer as he stomped closer. Her sudden appearance stunned him in to a slower pace leaving his mind momentarily numb. All he could think about involved naughty chats aided by a stick of rubber and now this? His life fell in around him . . . again. He just wanted to get out of New York and . . . no he would not allow those dark thought to take him over as they once had.

Swearing under his breath Blaine barely recognized the feisty brunette blocked the top of the stairs. The cotton shopping bags hung down from her hands filled with vegetables, bread and other things. The long beige coat she wore hung open to one side revealing a black paint suite. Stark red high heels made her look fabulous. With his vision blurred by his tears, his face twisted up toward the woman blocking his path. Santana had changed little including the stern look to her face. It could bring a car to a stop.

“Woo,” Santana held up a hand. The sound of heated words came from the loft. She recognized the voices and suddenly smiled with understanding.

Growling under his breath, Blaine took a step to his right in an attempt to get around he woman.

Santana stepped out in front of him. “Hey little man, slow down.”

“Fuck right off, Santana!” Blaine snarled at her as he went to side step around her.

A shrill and high pitched voice called out after him. “Blaine?”

The stark interruption broke the sudden tension. Santana deadly stare shifted from Blaine to Kurt. Her eyes narrows as if saying ‘you’re asking for it boy’.

The tone and the sound of Kurt’s voice made Blaine falter. His heart fluttered forcing him to glance over his shoulder. His fiancé, maybe ex-fiancé, stood half way in to the hall holding a towel about his waist with one hand as beading water rolled down his skin. His expression confusion on his face tugged at Blaine’s sentiments.

Someone called Kurt’s name from inside the loft. Budding compassion boiled over in to rage. Blaine yelled own the hall, “What the fuck, Kurt!”

The face of a mostly naked man scrunched up. Taking a step back Kurt stared at Blaine with wide disbelieving eyes and then he suddenly looked to his left. Someone jabbered at his from inside the loft.

“. . . could he . . . what?” the tall and slim fellow called back. Stepping out into the hall he wore woman’s underwear pulled up tight. Splotches of makeup dotted his rounded jaw up to his cheeks.

The sight caused Blaine to blink. Now that he got a better look, the interloper did not look athletic. Yes, he had definition, but he also looked strangely famine. A small patch of hair rode up his stomach from the waistband only to vanish just below his chest. An uneven makup base caked on to his cheeks covering most of the shadows of a dark, shaven beard.

Santana started to laugh.

“What!?” Blaine snarled at her.

“Calm down loverboy.” The woman shook her head smiling as she pointed a finger. Anger simmered in her eyes but she remained calm.

“Jesus, Santana, how long have you know this . . .?” Blaine got cut off by a finger being pressing into his chest.

“Look here . . .” Santana noted Blaine still gazed down the hall. Grabbing his chin she pulled his face around.

Brows crawling down to the bridge of his nose, Blaine resisted until he noted a rare glimmer in Santana’s eyes—compassion.

“Do you really think Kurt would sleep with that?” She waved her other hand up and down as if saying ‘look at him’. “He’s a bloody drag queen for god’s sake?”

“A female impersonator, thank you?” the tall fellow objected as he glided away from Kurt. He eyed the irate and adorably cute young man up and down.

“He . . .” Blaine pointed at the tall, wiry fellow. Eyes narrowing he took a step to get around Santana only to stop.

Breaking out into the knowing smile Kurt put his hands on his hips. Soft blue eyes locked on hazel as water ran down his legs from under the towel to pool at his feet. “Blaine, stop that right now!”

Blaine’s anger rose once more. “Just move it, Santana.”

“Oh, you got it bad, my little gnome.” Pressing her hand flat into Blaine chest pushing him into the wall. “Let me explain this to you, hot and over reacting. Little Ms. Messy Tuck over there is not playing with your pointy nosed and often annoying fiancé. But, by the look in on ITS face, I would think you’re more his style.”

“Hey . . .” the scantily dressed drag queen chirped and then his eyes seductively narrowed, “He’s tak . . . yeah . . . he’s a nice package.”

Redness streaked up Blaine’s cheeks.

Taking three steps Kurt looked up at the tall man with a serious glare in his eyes. “Hands off slut. He’s mine.

“It looks like you two are on the skids.” The towering fellow shot back with a twisted smile. “I call dibs,”

“What the hell?” Blaine whispered to himself as he glanced back at Santana and then back at Kurt.

“There’s no hell, Blaine but what is in here.” Santana tapped him lightly on the chest.

Shoulders slumping Blaine suddenly deflated and his head fell to his chest. Letting go of his travel bag it fell to the floor with a thud. Breathing in deeply he listening to Santana chuckle as she sauntered past him. Patting him on the arm, her heels dug into the floor matched the beating of Blaine’s heart. What an idiot?

One eyebrow going up, the drag queen strode over to Blaine offering a hand, “Miss Ya Rang, pleasure to meet you, cutie pie.”

Hazel eyes went to Kurt who still stood there in a puddle holding a towel about his waist with one hand. Heaving a sigh his face softened giving Kurt that ‘I’m so stupid’ look. Biting his upper lip, Blaine felt awful.

Eyes switching back and forth from Blaine to Kurt, the drag queen gracefully waved a hand in front of Blaine’s sad face. “Forget about high pitched Pinocchio over there.”

Blinking, Blaine’s rolled up toward the distraction. His eyes and face hardened.

“Hey, look at it this way, short and cute.” The taller man pursed his lips. “We’re going to paint the town pink tonight, you and I.”

Hazel darted to blue. Blaine could barely believe this.

“Karl, why don’t you go finish doing yourself up.” Santana yelled from the loft door patting her hand on her thigh as if she called a dog. “Give the boys a few minutes to break up again and then you can pounce.”

Laying two fingers on Blaine’s cheek, Karl smiled and blew him an air kiss. Swiveling on one heel he pointed a crooked finger at Kurt and announced, “Dump him and he’s mine.”

“Not on your life,” Kurt shot back with an edge to his voice. Strolling past his tall friend he held out one hand to Blaine while protecting his privacy with the other.

Holding Kurt’s gaze for a little while, Blaine suddenly looked down to the floor. Ashamed barely described how he felt. A heavy breath pushed his chest out and then he crouched down beside his bag pressing his hands into his face. When he felt Kurt’s left hand brush against his right the hand turned around taking it. Staring into those heavenly eyes, his heart jumped draining the sorrow from his soft brown eyes.

Kneeling beside his distraught boyfriend, Kurt leaned in and gently kissed him on the cheek. In a tender voice h,e asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I would surprise you.” Meeting those eyes again, Blaine leaned his head against Kurt’s nude, damp shoulder. The smell of fresh soap made Blaine remember what he missed. When he spoke, his voice held a mixture of discomfort and joy. “I guess I’m the one who got surprised.”

Squeezing the hand he held, Kurt pulled Blaine to his feet and into a loving embrace. Lips met for a brief second and then he instructed, “Pick up you bag.”

Sighing, Blaine grasped the handles. Looking at his lover, he looked ashamed.

Leading Blaine toward in to the loft’s threshold, Kurt whispered, “That must have been a shock.”

“I thought . . .” Blaine bowed his head.

“I know what you thought.” Kurt quietly stated as he passed through the door. Suddenly stopping he wrapped his arms about his lover. Staring at into those honey-brown orbs, Kurt soundly kissed the Blaine before whispering, “I have eyes for only one person.”

“Nice package Hummel,” Karl yelled from the kitchen where he leaned against the counter facing the lovers. “Slight curve and . . . long.”

“Jesus Kurt, cover yourself!” Santana made a face as she turned away. “And take it somewhere else.”

Flushing deep red, Kurt looked down to find the towel had slipped away from his hips. Barely held in place by the pressure of his body against Blaine’s, he grasped the towel covering his arousal. Tugging Blaine into Rachel’s side of the loft, the hanging fabric flew in all directions.

“Bloody hell,” Kurt moaned with bright redness burned his face.

Blaine’s brows pressed together and then he smirked. Pulling the drapes to ensure their privacy, he turned to face the man he loved. Smiling to beat the band, he flung himself at Kurt drawing him into a hard hug and a gentle kiss. Shocked, Kurt struggled for a few seconds and then fell into Blaine as if no one else lived. Tongues lashing and lips moving ever so slightly they held each other until they had to come up for air. Panting. Kurt leaned his head against Blaine and started to laugh.

Pulling his head back ever so slightly, Blaine looked indignant. “What?”

Lips spreading side, Kurt shook his head. “I do love you, my green-eyed Warbler.”

Eyes moving right and left, Blaine’s shoulders drooped. “Idiot is more like it.”

“I think its sweet.” Kurt kissed his lovely partner.

Leaning against his love, Blaine slowly breathed out. “I thought it was Adam.”

Pushing Blaine back so he could stare him in the face, Kurt frowned. Then, with a pleading smile, he said, “Adam has not said two words to me since I told him we were getting married.”

“I just feel so stupid.”

“If I had shown up at your door and found a nearly naked man in your bedroom what do you thing I would have done?”

“Freak.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you, Kurt Hummel.”

“Soon to be Hummel-Anderson or Anderson-Hummel or Guttenberg.”

“Guttenberg?”

“We both change our names.”

Folding his arms about his fiancé and best friend, Blaine stared into Kurt’s eyes only to become lost in the sparkling waves filled with admiration and love. Flesh pressed up against his pants as he slowly leaned in and set his lips to Kurt’s. With tender care they kissed and held each other. Embarrassment faded with the last vestiges of jealously. The man he held exuded so much affection it could have bowled Blaine over. How could he have doubted?

Moments passed and the motions became more aggravated as hands joined in. Fingers found a sensitive spot behind the ear or dug down into the back of the pants to find soft hair. A towel slid down to the floor as Kurt became more involved and engorged. Pulling at Blaine’s coat, Kurt removed it in short order and then his hands worked their way up under a sweater finding a nipple. Blaine’s head fell back with a soft moan. He needed this. They both did. Rubber and fantasies did not make up for the real thing.

The sudden scrapping of curtain rods and a voice rising several octaves ruined everything. “Kurt . . . Blaine?”

Santana burst out laughing.

Hands over her eyes, Rachel stomped her feet as she spun around. “Bloody hell, Kurt . . . put something . . . on.”

Blushed bright red Kurt used Blaine as a shield as he bend down and grabbed the towel. Keeping his back to curtains, Blaine protected Kurt’s privacy. He could imagine Santana holding back an evil grin.

Leaning against the counters, laughing made it hard for Santana to stand up straight.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” Rachel snarled at her.

Wrapping the towel about his midsection, Kurt continued to use Blaine as a shield. Raised colours in his cheeks deepened increase of his pulse. Placing his head on Blaine’s shoulder he stared at his best galpal. One day they would laugh about this but at the moment Kurt felt mortified.

Pushing off the counter, Santana sauntered over to Rachel with look of amusement. She pointed at Blaine. “Lover boy here showed up by surprise and found Karl naked in Kurt’s bed.”

“Karl?” Rachel looked confused.

Poking his head out of other bedroom area, Karl, his face partially covered with makeup, announced, “Hi Rachie and . . . ewwwww . . . I was not in Kurt’s bed.”

Rachel stood there shaking her head with an odd look on her face.

Rolling his eyes, Karl stated, “Jesus honey, you know how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut. I waited for the floor show to start but then this face can’t wait for Hummel to find his penis pump.”

Rachel blanched. “Karl!”

Giggling Santana stepped back crossing her arms.

“If it was holding on to the short, cute one, well . . .” Karl winked. “I was just wasting time until the dirty talk begins.”

“Don’t stand there with you jaw hanging to the floor, queenie,” Rachel barked at Karl. “Get Kurt his bathrobe and then finish putting you face on.”

“As usual,” Santana could not help herself.

Making a face Karl growled, “Bitch.”

“And don’t you forget it.” Santana set a pose.

“Karl?” Rachel held her hand open wide.

“Yes, ma’am,” Karl back through the curtains into Kurt’s area. “Let me see, where is it? Not in here . . . oh . . . Kurt you naughty boy. Is Blaine’s really that thick. . . tasty.”

“Karl!” Rachel yelled.

Two boys wildly blushed. Had Karl found his Blaine toy? Kurt’s head fell onto Blaine’s shoulder who carefully carefully wrapped his arms about his fiancé. Blaine whispered, “What a going show.”

“It would be funny if I wasn’t so embarrassed.”

“The two of us.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

‘Oh, how sickening soap opery,” Karl commented holding colourful bathrobe through the curtain. “Just another episode of As The Sphincter Puckers.”

“Give that to me,” Rachel snatched the robe from Karl. Four stomping feet later, she held it out to Kurt demanded, “Put his one and get out of my bedroom.”

With Blaine still blocking the view, Kurt slipped the robe on and visibly relaxed. Again his head came to rest on Blaine’s shoulder. The young man with gelled down hair kissed his love on the temple and then took his hand leading him from the partitioned room. As he passed Rachel grabbed Blaine and drew him into a hug. The two lovers did not let go of their hands.

“It’s good to see you Blaine,” Rachel cooed. “But can someone tell me what the hell’s going on here?”

Her face erupting into a huge grin, Santana began her version of the sorted tale. Rachel tried not to show her amusement but she cracked when she threw her arms about Blaine again. Smiling into his shoulder her eyes went to Kurt who held Blaine’s right hand. Mischief glistened in her big eyes.

“Does this mean you’re not breaking up?” Karl deep voice interrupted.

Kurt yelled back, “No.”

“Damn,” Karl pouted. “I wanted to take cutie pie out and show him what New York is really like.”

“You can’t have him,” Kurt growled. He clutched onto his love’s arm. “I’m greedy and he’s all mine.”

“Karl, go get your face on!” Rachel barked at the tall drag queen. “You look horrid.”

“Can’t a girl have any fun?” Karl winked at Blaine. “If you ever tired of his saggy ass, give me a call.”

“Saggy ass?” Kurt objected.

Blaine swung his hand in Kurt’s back bouncing them off those firm cheeks. “Lovely ass,”

Stepping toward the partially adorned queen, Santana pushed him toward the curtains of Kurt’s little area. “Now, let auntie Santana show you how to do your makeup.”

Karl’s lips curled down and he made a hysterical face. “Bitch.”

“Damn right and these are real,” Santana poked a finger in to her chest and then patted the female panties covering Karl’s tucked bits.

Waving his arms about, Karl made all sorts of noises as Santana bickered with him.

Shaking his head, Blaine glanced at Kurt and could not help but laugh. Rachel and his lover joined in. Considering how this all started, Blaine’s heart felt light even though he kicked himself for allowing his emotions to get the best of him. Once again weakness had touched him. Being apart from Kurt had taught him what real love could cost and now that he had him again he did not want to let that go.

When it all settled down the three of them strolled toward the kitchen. His nakedness covered, Kurt looked more at ease as he leaned close to his boyfriend. Feeling the warmth of a familiar body close to his caused motion between Blaine’s legs. Gods, he wanted to just throw Kurt down and have his way with him. However, for now, he just turned and drew Kurt into a loving hug.

“I’m so sorry,” Blaine whispered to Kurt.

Smiling against Blaine’s neck, Kurt quietly replied, “You’re jealousy was kind of sexy.”

Cheeks puffing out, Blaine questioned, “Sexy? It was more like a mini-heart attach.”

“I’ll have plans for your heart.”

“Oh?”

“I think you can feel it.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Boys?” Rachel suddenly cut in. Turning about, she looked and sounded embarrassed.

Tugging on Blaine, Kurt pulled him over to the living area. Rachel flowed with them. Kurt turned and said to them, “Can we have a little privacy, please?”

“Out there?” Santana called from where she battled with a drag gueen.

Karl injected, “Can I watch.”

Santana growled from behind the curtains. “Give them a moment to get it over with.”

“I don’t have my phone,” Karl complained.

Santana shot back. “Oh shut up and sit still.”

“Use my space,” Rachel conceded with a roll of her eyes. “Just don’t ruin my new sheets.”

“Thanks Rachel.” Blaine gave her a fond look.

Sort of smiling, Rachel flopped on to the couch.

Chuckling Santana threw the curtains to one side allowing her escape. Wheeling around in to the kitchen, she headed to the coffee. “I’m going to need this if I have to make Karl look like a woman.”

“Cow!” Karl snarled.

“Well, moo to you too.” Shaking her head Santana reached for the cupboard.

Makeup covering his face, Karl poked his head out from behind the curtain, “Santana, be a darling and get my phone from my coat while your feeding that maw of yours.”

“No, you’re not going to film them,” the Latino woman shot back.

Rachel looked annoyed as her eyes followed her roommate before shifting to Karl. She demanded, “Just shut your mouth and get dressed, you old queer. We said you could use our place to get ready, not live here.”

“Who are you calling old?” Huffing, Karl vanished behind a flourish of hanging cloth.

Changing direction, Kurt hauled Blaine back toward Rachel’s bed. Passing through the curtain he looked suddenly relieved as he took his lover in his arms. Holding him tight, Kurt kissed Blaine as only he could. In response Blaine inclined into Kurt sensing the heat and wanting more. The strain of separation and the anxiety of arriving at the loft left him. Only Kurt remained. His love. His anchor. The man he wished to live the rest of his life with filled his heart and soul.

“I don’t hear you talking in there,” Rachel chimed in. Her voice sounded a bit distance. She must be in the kitchen.

“Give them a break. He hasn’t even whipped the sweet, curly headed man’s thing out yet.” Karl retorted followed by a loud purring growl.

“Take your time boys.” Santana called out as she glanced at her watch.

Another round of bickering erupted but Blaine ignored it. Rolling his head, he smiled as he tried not to laugh. “It never changes.”

“Yeah,” Kurt shot back and then he leaned into Blaine with a wide grin. In a softer tone, he said, “You should have told me you were coming. I could have shooed them off.”

“It’s alright Kurt,” Blaine nuzzled closer. Kurt smelt and felt so good. “I’ll tell the tail later but for now I just want to see you smile.”

“And other things?” Karl smirked.

“Will you leave them alone,” Rachel chided.

“You’re such a mother hen,” Karl argued. “I only want to peek.”

“Back, you viper,” Rachel snarled.

Someone swore and Santana laughed as something crashed to the floor. Rachel’s voice rose in chastisement.

Chuckling, Blaine pressed his lips against Kurt’s. The pressure down in both their pants increased. Restraining himself became a struggle. Rachel and Santana might understand but Karl, Blaine did not know. The way he leered at him sent a quake up his spin leaving him with a feeling of being today’s entree.

Pulling his head back, Kurt looked mischievously happy. Whether intentional or not, he announced, “I’m starting a band.”

“What? Wow?” Hazel locked on blue making Blaine drunk.

“That’s one of the reasons Karl is in my bedroom slipping on a bra.” Kurt smiled as he hugged Blaine.

Karl called across the distance. “That titsling to you.”

“Will you hurry up, Karl,” Rachel responded. “I still have to get changed and I can’t do it with those two making out on my bed.”

Kurt shot back. “We’re not on your bed.”

Blaine quietly laughed.

“Give them time, Rachie.” Karl’s sounded strained. “Santana, dear, could you be a good bitch and came back here and give a queen a hand. Don’t forget my phone.”

A few choice words in Spanish followed and then heavy footsteps.

Snorting, Kurt grinned at Blaine. “Karl’s from NYADA. I met him through Rachel.”

“Is she taking on a new leaf and finally channeling her inner diva.” Blaine ran a finger down Kurt’s cheek and neck.

“She’s always been a diva.” Santana’s voice carried over Karl’s who had trouble with something.

“Ha ha.” Everyone expected Rachel to respond.

Ignoring the comments, Blaine leaned into Kurt and kissed him again. “Your own band. I wish I would be here to help.”

“I wasn’t expecting you for another couple of weeks. I wanted to have it set up by then.” Kurt pecked Blaine’s cheek and smiled. ”I’ve miss singing with you.”

“We could sing right now.”

“Really?”

Pushing Kurt down on to the bed and young man landed with a groan. Before he could object, fingers pressed against his lips as Blaine swung his hips over his wide eyed lover. Crawling up over his legs lyrics rolled from his tongue.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS9j4cWEeiU – you have to image Blaine is singing this. I thought this would be a fun and besides I love this style of music. Swing and Big Band is the best.)

_Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine_   
_Candyman, candyman_   
_Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine_   
_Sweet sugar candyman_

_Hey yeah_

Wiggling his hips across Kurt’s thighs the look of mischief on Blaine’s face grew in intensity. Rolling his shoulder back his wrist twisted around as he pointed at the man beneath him. His voice rose in strength.

_I met him out for dinner on a Friday night_   
_He really got me working up an appetite_   
_He had tattoos up and down his arms_   
_There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm_

_He's a one stop shop, makes my panties drop_   
_He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman_   
_Sweet sugar candyman_

Pressing his buttock down upon Kurt’s pelvis as he gave the man he adored. A sly look crossed his Blaine’s face as he popped his pant’s button revealing a thick tuft of dark hair instead of underwear. Kurt’s eyes went wide and Blaine felt something shift beneath him.

_He's a one stop shop, makes my panties drop_   
_Sweet sugar candyman_

_He's a one stop shop, makes my ugh pop_   
_Sweet sugar candyman_

_He's a one stop, get it while it's hot, baby don't stop_   
_Sweet sugar_

Leaning over Kurt, who stared up with the most amazing look on his face, Blaine tugged at his zipper until the tight fabric would allow on more.

_He's got those lips like sugarcane_   
_Good things come for boys who wait_   
_He's a one stop shop with a real big ugh_   
_He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman_   
_candyman_   
_candyman_   
_candyman_   
_candyman_

Throwing himself at Kurt their lips locked. Pulling Blaine down up on him, Kurt grunted and groaned in to his lover’s mouth. Rolling off to the side the two men enthusiasm grew along with certain endowments.

“What the hell are you doing in there?” Rachel yelled from the other side of the cloth barrier.

“Sh-h-h-h-h, Rachel,” Karl called back. “Listen . . . Where’s that damned phone . . . they’re really getting in to it.”

“God’s do we have to put up with that . . . again!” Santana complained swinging her hands up as she looked away.

Laughing in to Blaine’s mouth, Kurt pulled himself free. He yelled, “He’s apologizing.”

“Well apologize on your own time,” Santana shot back. She stomped around the living room rolling her head.

“And in your own bed,” Rachel groused.

“Again, we’re not in you bed,” Kurt shouted back.

Blaine injected, “Just on top of it.”

Pocking his head between the curtains, Karl grinned from ear to ear. “It’s always the short ones with big dicks who have the great voices.”

Rachel screamed. “Karl!”

Heat rose in Blaine’s cheeks. Throwing a pillow, Karl jumped back as it hit the curtain and slid to the floor with a soft thud.


	14. Thrilled

Playfully pulling out Blaine heavily breathed as he stared his adorable fiancé. Pearly white skin of his toned calves rested upon naturally tanned shoulders providing Blaine with a view he adored so much. The torso laid out before him captivated the spirit. He missed it and the way goose bumps which lifted the skin when a cool puff of air crossed over it. The special friend Kurt had sent him did not match up to the hours they had just spent doing one of their favourite activities.

Friday night out with Rachel, Santana and an outrageously flirty Karl proved to be fun. The midnight hours came and went with the foursome rolling in the door four hours later. Saturday daytime proved sexually frustrating. With Karl passed out on the couch and the girls close by, the boys managed to cuddle and not much more. They woke hard but the racket in the kitchen prevented their festive moods from exploding. Karl left about one and the two boys pleaded for some privacy. The final deal included a group dinner and then some alone time. Saturday evening felt like home.

Th sheets bunched up behind Blaine as he shuffled back on the bed. Kissing the bottom of each foot he gently lowered Kurt’s legs into a more comfortable the position. Sweat glistened across his chest from the thin light flicking in from the dim light in the kitchen passing through a crack in the curtain. Gazing up at the man he loved, nibble fingers absently toyed with Blaine’s messy hair and sexy ears. It started out rough and primal but as the sensations grew it turned into something calm, enduring and filled with deep pleasure. Kurt played Blaine like a fine instrument creating stimulating highs and to aggravating lows to prevent premature issues.

Kneeling between firm thighs, Blaine tenderly messaged them as he eased Kurt down from the heights of ecstasy. His partner lay there with his eyes closed softly panting. Suddenly blue eyes locked on hazel and he warmly smiled. Holding hands as they walked down the path of life together, both recognized the healing process moved along.

“That was . . . great,” Kurt moaned as his head sank into the pillow. Nerve endings tingled as fingers dragged down the lover’s glistening chest.

Head shifting to the right, Blaine’s eyes overflowed with love. “You made a perfectly scrumptious meal, Mr. Hummel.”

“And you the best desert, soon to be Mr. Hummel-Anderson.”

“And your cream filling.”

“I think you filled me up just nicely.”

Leaning in for a kiss, Blaine ran his fingers through long locks of hair. “Double dipped doughnuts. Yummy.”

“Being apart certainly makes for a spectacular orgasm.” Kurt ran a finger down Blaine chest and the man joyous convulsed. Kurt who could spend hours pleasuring his boyfriend in this manner. Having Blaine erupt during one of these adventures surprised Kurt to no end. He had not touched his lovers extended love muscle. Poor Blaine, how he suffered?

“Yes.” Blaine fell silent but his gaze did not leave his wonderful lover. Fingers touched his cheek and he leaned into them. “I don’t like being apart. I just want you all to myself.”

“Greedy so-in-so.”

“When it comes to you and your perfect pickle . . . oh, yeah.”

“You got your wish.” Kurt showed Blaine the ring he gave him.

Taking that finger in his mouth, Blaine’s lips circled the ring as his tongue raked up the digit. A guttural groan escaped Kurt smiling lips. The two men kissed for a few minutes and then comfortably cuddled up.

Running a finger down Blaine’s chest, Kurt whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Blaine quietly gushed.

“I can’t wait until we can do this all day.”

“When will Rachel and Santana get back?”

Kurt’s eyes narrowed and he stretched to the see the alarm clock.

Blaine kissed Kurt’s forehead. “Why so glum?”

Pushing himself up on one elbow stared into the fascinating amber-brown eyes. “It’s only one weekend.”

Placing a hand lightly on his lover’s chest, Blaine said with a sigh, “Yes but I’ll be back.”

“Yeah but how long.”

“Every three weeks.”

“What?”

“Oh, right I did not tell you. Your parents, my mom and even Cooper are flying me out every three weeks.”

“Wow!” Sitting up straight, Kurt beamed and then his face fell. “We’ll have to pay them back.”

Chuckling, Blaine softly said responded, “Burt said it was an investment but my mom called it a loan.”

Dreamy eyed, Kurt whispered, “I think I can hold out for three week . . . maybe.”

Picking up Kurt’s hand and kissing the ring, Blaine questioned, “Maybe?”

“Might need a toy.” Kurt winked with an evil smile. He slipped a hand under Blaine’s chin and gently lifted it. “You’re talented, charming and so damned cute.”

Blaine beamed, “And you’re so handsome.”

“Of course I am?” Kurt patted his cheek.

Smiling, Blaine pulled Kurt in close and passionately kissed him. Working his way down the Kurt’s arm, Blaine found the finger with a ring on it. Look up he smiled. “Kurt, your spirit soars like an eagle on the wind demanding freedom and so much more. While to some this ring might represent ownership, to me it means freedom. Freedom to love. Freedom to express ourselves. Freedom to feel bad or good. Freedom to enjoy our lives together. Kurt, to me you will never be property only love.”

Kissing the ring, Blaine laid he head against Kurt’s chest and softly started to sing.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_SGA46QxP4 Not alone –written and sung by Darren Criss)

  
_I've been alone_  
 _Surrounded by darkness_  
 _I've seen how heartless_  
 _The world can be_

_I've seen you crying_   
_You felt like it's hopeless_   
_I'll always do my best_   
_To make you see_

Blaine pulled Kurt closer so that his head rested against his chest. A soft hand fell on his arm.

_Baby, you're not alone_   
_'Cause you're here with me_   
_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_   
_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_   
_And you know it's true_   
_It don't matter what'll come to be_   
_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

_Now I know it ain't easy_   
_But it ain't hard trying_   
_Everytime I see you smiling_   
_And I feel you so close to me..._   
_And you tell me:_

Running his fingers up Kurt’s cheek they danced around the ear and up in to strands of hair. There, Blaine happily played as he sang on.

_Baby, you're not alone_   
_'Cause you're here with me_   
_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_   
_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_   
_And you know it's true_   
_It don't matter what'll come to be_   
_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

_I still have trouble_   
_I trip and stumble_   
_Trying to make sense of things sometimes..._

Craning his neck so he can see Blaine better, Kurt shifted his body. All the while Blaine hung on to him and sang with deep compassion. Lips spreading wide, Kurt understood the meaning of his song.

_I look for reasons_   
_But I don't need 'em_   
_All I need is to look in your eyes_   
_And I realize..._

_Baby, I'm not alone_   
_'Cause you're here with me_   
_And nothing's ever gonna take us down_   
_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_   
_And you know it's true_   
_It don't matter what'll come to be_   
_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

_Oh, 'cause you're here with me_   
_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_   
_Cause nothing, nothing, nothing_   
_Can keep me from lovin' you_   
_And you know it's true_   
_It don't matter what'll come to be_   
_You know our love is all we need_

_Our love is all we need_   
_To make it through..._

The lyrics died away bringing silence Blaine’s heart rested in his throat. The words had come from so deep, he could barely believe it himself. One night, in the depths of his gloom, they woke him and compelled him to write them down. When Blaine finally rolled over he hugged his pillow feeling the best he had in days. Now he hugged the real thing and he never wanted to go back.

“Beautiful?” the word barely escaped Kurt’s mouth. A hand came to rest on his lovers’s shoulder where the finger messaged his back.

Bashfully, Blaine rested his forehead against Kurt’s. “From me to you.”

Throwing his hands about the man he loved, Kurt kissed him. Afterward his brow came to rest against Blaine’s as their noses softly touched each another.

Eyes twinkling bright, Blaine smiled at the man he loved. “I never want to leave this bed.”

Playfully tracing his fingers across Blaine’s side Kurt smiled when his lover twitched. “I’ll have you at the airport in time, but until then you can cuddle up to me all you want because I am enjoying this Mr. Blaine Anderson. As I said to my dad the day you proposed, you make me feel safe.”

Enveloping Kurt’s legs with his, Blaine snuggled as close as he could with head pressed against Kurt’s shoulder he absently ran finger over a nipple. Comfortable in one another’s arms the drifted off into the pleasant land of shared dreams.

Sometime later, exactly how long Blaine did not know, the door to the loft slid open with a trembling creak. Heavy footfalls and the motion of a sliding door crashing shut roused him. Someone bumped into something with a soft exclamation and then a light flashed on. Filtered by the curtains, Blaine squinted and then looked to his right where Kurt remained coiled around him like a comfortable blanket. Purring like a cat the handsome young man looked at peace.

Someone whispered out in the living room and another replied. Not full awake, Blaine recognized two voices. It could only be two people and with that he snuggled up to his love and closed his eyes and allowed his dreams to take him. It had barely moved passed the first short scene when he started because someone knocked a piece of furniture forcing it to noisily skid across the wooden floor. Other person giggled and then it sounded as if something heavily landed on the coffee table.

Opening his eyes just a slit Blaine squinted at the dim passing through the drapes. On the other side of the cloth barrier he heard glasses rattling against each other followed by a low curse and a shushing sound. Kurt jerked without waking as he snuggled closer. His breathing shifted and he started to softy purr again. Holding an arm, Blaine recalled of events when he and Kurt met. Helping the dear boy back then make Blaine feel good but something stirring against his buttock made him feel happier.

The sudden touch of wet lips against Blaine’s neck made the curly headed man smile. Pressing his mouth against Kurt’s arm wrapped over his body, Blaine arched his head up and rolled over. His soon-to-be husband quietly moaned as a tongue found an ear. Skilled fingers gently traced a line down Blaine’s pelvis where they toyed with a sleepy man’s balls causing arousal. Shifting under the weight gently pushed on him, Blaine’s lips sought Kurt’s finding only stubbled at first. Many small kissed later, they found home plate. Down below the border something grew in girth as Blaine’s hands searched the pleasant body beside him with soft tickles. Round three?

Burying his head in to Blaine’s shoulder, Kurt snickered and kicked at the sheets. Rolling up on to the man he loved he stared at those hazel eyes for a few seconds and then softly said, “You’re so beautiful.”

Smashing his lips in to Kurt, Blaine enveloped him in his arms tussling him to one side. Lying side by side and nose to nose, he stared at the man he loved as warmth spread through his chest. Skin against skin, erections touching, Blaine would rather be nowhere else. Those arms, that body and especially those eyes took him to places he hand only dreamed about a few months ago. A wet tongue on his nose made Blaine smile. Sticking his out, he smiled just before their flesh met. Kurt let out a delightful moan.

Something knocked together in the other room and someone hushed another followed by giggling. The both of them heard a woman asking, “You think they’re up?”

“Sounds . . . like it.” An accented voice softly replied.

Footfalls followed and then the curtain suddenly pulled back and Santana’s face popped in.

Shocked, Blaine pulled the top sheet up over his naked form and that of his lover. While the lower parts of his body remained hidden the scant fabric left little to the imagination.

“Santana!” Rachel called from elsewhere in the loft. Her tone sounded a bit slurred.

Santana garbled a laugh. “Yup, they’re . . . up alright?”

“Santana!” Kurt yelled at her as he grabbed for a pillow. Tossing it, the fluffy thing hit her in the stomach and slid to the floor.

“Kurt’s in a energetic mood.” Santana called back with a huge smile on her face. Pointing at she declared, “You could be in for it, Blaine.”

Pulling the covers over his head, Kurt muttered a few choice words before snarling, “Just leave.”

“He’s going to be a poop,” Santana moaned.

“Ewwwww.” Rachel responded.

Stepping back from the divider allowing the cloth fell to its normal position, Santana joked, “Not that dummy?”

Crawling about under the covers, Blaine moved the sheets so he could see the man he loved. The look on Kurt’s face made him chuckle. The heat from flushed cheeks and the manner in which he breathed told the story. A hand came to rest on the chin of the man he loved and then Blaine smiled. The defused light passing through the cotton played across gave Kurt a mystery appearance.

“Hey Rachie,” Santana’s words slurred together.

“Don’t call me that,” Rachel retorted and then made grunting sond as if he hit something.

Santana moaned. “They don’t want to play with us.”

A cork announcing there would be no peace. Moments later Rachel pushed the curtains back flooding Kurt’s area with needless light. Kicking at the bed, she slurred her words. “Come on . . . up and at . . . him.”

Kurt growled, “Rachel?”

“That’s what he’s got in mind,” Santana chuckled over Kurt yelling at his gal pal.

“Come on, boy’s.” Rachel clicked the two glasses she held together. “Time to celebrate.”

Santana called from the living area, “I think the princess Hummel needs a little more time to finish up.”

“Do you mind?” Kurt objected. The deflation which followed killed the moment he had hoped for.

“It’s not as if we have not seen your lily white ass before,” the Latino woman yelled. Something landed on the coffee table with a thud. “Now, Blaine . . . he has a nice one . . . need . . .”

“Santana, please!” Kurt shook his had and let out a puff of air.

“They’re drunk,” Blaine softly commented as he stared at the shadows of Kurt’s face. He looked so sexy.

Santana yelled. “No shit, curly.”

The noise of glass striking glass sounded nice when compared to the foot sticking the foot of the bed. “Come on boys, time to drink.”

Glancing at Kurt, Blaine gave him a ‘do we’ look and blue eyes rolled away in response. Beyond the threshold of Kurt’s territory something moved followed by a thump and a curse.

“Stop that,” Rachel called out to someone. “And put that away. They have their own clothes.”

“I don’t want to see their little willies.” Santana shot back. It sounded like a piece of furniture moved. “Besides Kurt looks good in a dress.”

Eyebrows pulling together Blaine gave Kurt a look. His lover shook his head.

“Santana?” Rachel screeched followed by more thumping around in her sleeping area.

The curtains protecting Kurt and Blaine moved and one of Rachel’s dresses landed on the bed. Santana yelled, “Come on you sluts, time to party.”

Embarrassed, even angry, hazel eyes locked onto shaded blue. A hand reached out and touched Kurt’s naked chest where Blaine felt a shiver run up his lover’s body. Suddenly Kurt burst out laughing and piled into Blaine pulling the sheets with him. Lips surrounded a nipple and a tongue lashed. Blaine swallowed a groan just as Kurt pulled away.

“You’re a noisy one, Hummel,” Santana’s words slurred together.

Shocked, Kurt hauled the sheet up over him exposing Blaine down to the hip on one side. A chill suddenly ran up his thighs and over his butt causing goose pimples to rise.

“My,” Rachel purred, “is that what I’ve been missing all these year.”

“Nice butt Anderson,” Santana blurt out with a snicker.

Mortified, Blaine dragged the thicker covers away from Kurt hauling them up to his chest. Heat rose in his cheeks.

“Will you two, please?” Kurt pleaded.

“Come one girlfriend, let’s leave the pussies alone.” Rolling her head, Santana snatched one of the glassed from Rachel and half downed it. “Don’t yell too loud when you come Hummel. You sound like a banshee.”

The curtains fluttered as Blaine gave Kurt an odd look. Snuggling closer, he looked into his lover’s eyes and smiled. In a soft tone Blaine said, “I guess I sleep on the plane.”

Rolling his eyes Kurt pouted.

With a sigh Blaine suddenly kissed those extended lips. Throwing the covers back Blaine reached for a sweatshirt and dragged it over his head. The moment his fussy head poked thought, two hands playfully ruffled the mop of hair. Two men kissed and then Kurt rolled away searching for a sweater and something to pull over his naked lower half. Smiling Blaine dug a pair of blue shorts out of his bag and hauled them on. Playfully flirting with each other, two lovers ignored the commentary from the front. Finally, the curtains flew apart and the barefoot lovers padded out to join the drunks.

Santana and Rachel sat in the chairs opposite the couch staring at the men. Santana looked disappointed and Rachel just grinned from ear to ear. Glassy eyes told one story and the two bottles of wine sitting on the table told the rest.

“Hey, good to see you.” Rachel lifted a half empty glass. Her eyes looked heavy.

Lowering the glass from her lips, Santana called out, “Made enough noise.”

Pulling on Blaine’s hand, Kurt tried to turn away but his loving half tugged him close instead. Wet lips on the cheek placated the simmering Kurt. Both needed sleep and Blaine wanted one last memory to keep himself stimulated for the next three weeks.

“Santana?” Rachel pointed a finger.

Blaine softly growled. “We did nothing.”

“Why the fuck do we have to put up with this!” Kurt shook his head and tried to pull away from Blaine. The shorter man would not let go.

Santana stuck her tongue out and poured to glasses of sparkling red wine. With a flourish she directed the guys to take a seat. “Well they do. Their like rutting pigs.”

Making the snorting noise of a pig, Kurt flopped down on the couch where blue met hazel. Kurt’s eyes had that gray hue to them which revealed his displeasure. Snuggling up while holding hands, neither of them wanted to let go of each other. It had been like this all weekend and with little precious time left they wanted to soak up as much as they could. Eventually Blaine leaned over and took one glass and handed it to Kurt before scooping up another. A youthful face grew angry and then Kurt took his glass and tilted it toward his partner. Glass touched with a soft clink.

Glaring at Santana, Rachel shifted to the boys looking slightly more relaxed, “You looking forward to nationals.”

“More like a little pickle tickle,” Santana downed her drink and pour more.

Swallowing, Kurt’s hand tightened about his lovers. He however answered, “Yup, a good old, thrust up the butt and a long high F.”

Rachel almost spat up her wine as she choked. Her eyes went wide followed by a deep red blush.

Feeling self-satisfied, Blaine like the feeling Kurt landed an unexpected direct hit. Sipping his wine he tried to hold back a smirk. He loved it when his boyfriend got feisty.

“Err . . . umm . . . nationals?” Rachel tried to recover as her eyes shifted to Blaine.

Santana laughed and downed her drink.

“Thank you.” Kurt said to Rachel sounded relieved.

“Los Angeles,” Blaine warily smiled. “We got in on a technicality but . . .”

Topping herself up, Santana injected, “You mean Warbler cheating.”

Not looking too happy, Blaine deflected the comment. “LA is going to be fun.”

“I bet,” Rachel added. Her eyes looked red and heavy.

“Yeah, all those Hollywood tight asses for you to pitch.” Santana giggled.

Making a face, Blaine sounded disgusted, “Ewww . . . I would never pitch my brother’s ass.”

One eyebrow going up Kurt asked, “So where did you to go to get so wasted?”

On instinct and need, Blaine hugged Kurt’s arm. The warmth of his body drove the chill in the air away.

“We went to shake our asses. You should have come with us but you were already . . . shaking your asses.” Santana’s head rested against the back of the chair as she slouched down.

“Santana,” Rachel objected. She reached out to hit the other woman but miserably missed.

Giving Rachel a look, Santana rolled her eyes and leaned closer to the guys. Sniffing the air she said, “Oh come off it big nose, you can smell the cherry lube out in the hall.”

Blaine and Kurt blushed.

“The important thing is my darlings are back together again,” Rachel raised her almost empty glass.

“Amen to that,” Santana followed suit. “No more whining and crying at midnight.”

Blaine gave Kurt a look and the other man shrugged.

“Come off it, twinklebutt? Just admit it. You were a mess even when you were with sugar pops.” Santana leaned forward, maybe just a little too far because she had to place a palm on the table to stop her from sliding forward.

Eyebrows going up, Blaine looked at Kurt. “Sugar pops?”

“Adam,” Kurt flatly replied.

“He was a bit of a dork,” Santana blurt out.

Rachel licked her lips. “He made a good quiche.”

“I make blueberry pancakes.” Blaine innocently glanced at the girls.

“And yummy banana muffins,” Kurt injected.

“Pointy nose,” Santana pointed a finger at Blaine, “needs to teach you how to cook something other than tube steak.”

Squeezing his lover’s hand, Blaine protested, “But, it’s my favourite.”

The girls started to giggle.

Arching his head Blaine watched Kurt’s impish grin grow into a full smile. Four glasses clinked together and the weekend moved on. No one got much sleep. Regardless of a hang over, getting on the plane proved harder than Blaine had thought. Happily sated with all Kurt had to offer, he felt as if they had reached the bend in the road and a smooth highway lay before them. Tomorrow he would be back in school ready to face nagging questions. The idea thrilled him.


	15. Too Young

Blaine offered to hop the next plane without thinking, but no, it would not happen. No, he had to fight his way through the day regardless of the raging sentiment inside. Hands clutched to his chest he felt helpless and then he remembered he could do something. Waking his mother and arguing with is his father, he set out on a course of healing. Pam dropped her son off at school thirty minutes before the first-class. They talked and hugged for a few minutes and then the parted. Other than the few kids who had a super early class, the hall felt morosely empty. Rounding the corner leading to the music room, Blaine slowed as his hand fell against the wall. Standing there stared at the door, he had to do this.

Not bothering to turn on the lights, Blaine plunked himself down in ‘his’ chair. A hand fell on the one beside him her Kurt had sat so many times. His eyes, however, swiveled to the right as if expecting to see someone one. Sitting back he cupped his hands together and descended in to deep thought.

Self-absorbed, Blaine blinked with the sudden light. Eyes squishing tight he wondered how long he had been sitting there lost in thought. Leaning forward with his chin in his hands he stared at the white board with red eyes.

“Hey Blaine . . .” Artie wheeled closer and stopped when he saw the look on Blaine’s forlorn pose. “Blaine, what’s up?”

Blaine looked up revealing the wet stains on his cheeks.

“Why so glum, Blainy Days?” Tina suddenly announced. She had walked up behind Artie she rested a hand on the back of his chair with scrunched up brows.

Glancing up at Tina, Artie pushed himself a little closer to the Blaine. In a soft tone he asked, “Have you and Kurt had another . . .”

“Finn’s dead,” Blaine could barely get the words out. He wanted to be in New York so bad it hurt. He needed to hold Kurt. He wanted to be done with school.

“What? When?” Artie sputtered.

“How?” Tina said at almost the same time.

Wiping his eyes Blaine shrugged and then felt guilt for the simple act. “He’s dead.”

Dragging in a shaky breath, Tina sank to the chair beside Artie. For a moment she looked as if she did not believe it and then a tear rolled down her cheek. Reaching out for Artie, their hands squeezed together and their eyes met.

“My god,” Artie’s voice could hardly be heard. Drawing in a deep breath he looked up at Tina and the laid an arm across her shoulder.

Quivering against Arties’ shoulder, Tina stared at Blaine with watery eyes. “What’s that?”

Leaning back into the chair, Blaine turned and place a picture on the seat Finn would have sat in. Choking back emotion sad hazel eyes stared at the photograph of Finn and Kurt dancing in each other’s arms at their parent’s wedding.

Shifting in his chair, finger pressed into the skin under Artie’s eye where moisture touched warm skin. Breathlessly he whispered, “He made us all proud that day.”

Tina sniffled. “Look at his face. He loved . . .”

Pulling Tina closer, Artie let her cry.

“I wish I had been there. Kurt and I had just met and I didn’t think it wise to crash the wedding.” Blaine choked on the air collecting in his lunges and took a moment to collect himself. “Finn and I had not always seen eye to eyes. He admitted he felt jealous of me but then he turned out to be a knight in shining armour. Barely twenty and his life had come to an . . . end. Finn always struggled with himself and his future but he had moved past it toward something good and honest. He proved his measure when he put Rachel on the train for New York. Letting her go had been the strongest show of love I have ever seen. The tears and the sorrow deep inside. He loved her. He loves us all. Finn could have gone places but now no one would ever know.”

Stunned silence prevailed as a tear rolled down Tina’s cheek.

“I can only imagine what Kurt is feeling. He looked to Finn as a true brother and a friend. They had their differences but when Burt and Carole married and Kurt faced off with Karofsky . . .” Blaine lost his words as sorrow took him. Swallowed hard, he looked at his friends and held a hand out to each. Fingers met and intertwined. “Kurt enjoyed speaking of the day his brother stood up for the bully wearing a shower curtain.”

Two teens chuckled and then Tina whispered, “I remember. What a bunch of freaks but I had never seen Finn looking as proud.”

“We were quite the sight.” Artie let out a long breath. “Finn looked so ridiculous but then we all did.”

“The first time Kurt told me that story I was in stitches.” Smearing liquid under his eyes, Blaine’s heart sat on top of his stomach. He sighed and looked down at the photo. “Burt called me around three this morning.”

“How’s Carole?” Tina whispered.

“Devastated.” Blaine looked down. “I went there right after calling Kurt. I have a key and I let myself and my mom in. Carole sat on the stairs crying. We stayed there until Burt go in from Washington about seven. Mom brought me here.”

Closing her eyes Tina burst into tears again.

“How’s Kurt?” Artie asked as he pulled Tina closer.

“Shattered.” Blaine sucked in his lips. “I could hear Rachel and Santana crying the back ground. Kurt could . . . barely talk. I just let him . . . cry. It killed me I was not there.”

“Blaine, he knows you’re with him,” Tina comforted the former Warbler.

“I know, but . . .” Blaine sighed and closed his eyes. Water squeezed out through his long lashes. “Kurt’s flying in tonight.”

Tina paled and the leaned in offering Blaine a hug.

Accepting the sentiment, Blaine’s head feel upon her shoulder. Extending an arm he added Artie to their small circle. Emotion openly ran as the three of them expressed themselves. Not only did Blaine cry for a friend but also for someone he loved very much living hours away. Hearing the sobs over the phone and knowing he could not hold the man broke his heart. Kurt sobbed for a good twenty minutes before he pulled himself together enough to talk. The conversation last a mere few minutes before the phone started to beep. Burt called again.

The warmth of his friends so close conjured up a memory of Finn’s firm but compassionate hugs. That tumbled into the way he would look all sweet and gooey at Rachel. Finn and Kurt joking and playing with one another as brothers sometimes did or Finn being a leader and setting things straight or Finn just being Finn. In this room he filled people’s hearts with a goofy smile or his dreadful dance moves. In this room, like so many, Finn grew up and became the man his friends looked up to.

“Too young,” Blaine murmured as he pressed his forehead in to Tina. “After Kurt left for New York Finn, Sam and I bonded over the Buckeyes. Finn and I found comradeship and support because we both loved someone living faraway. The big guy had a side to him I had never seen before. His serious side considered many things I took for granted. He actively thought about where he wanted to be five years down the road. One the other hand, I dreamed. Becoming friends with the lovable man taught me much. He understood and did not judge when Kurt and I broke up. The light may have gone out but somewhere the embers of his kind heart is touching us.”

“Oh . . .” Tina start to cry once more.

Two teens wrapped their arms about the sobbing girl. Taking comfort in one another Artie’s head suddenly went up and he looked about the room. Emotional eyes focused on a figure standing just in the door. He muttered, “Miss Pillsbury?”

She looked as if she might walk by but then she suddenly turned. Advancing a few steps into the room the look on her face changed as if she realized the seriousness of the situation. Her eyes met Blaine’s and the school councillor softly asked, “Is everything alright?”

Pulling away from his friends, Blaine wiped his hands down his cheeks and drew in a shuddering breath. In low, gravelly voice he replied, “Finn died last night.”

Pillsbury stood there for a long second and then sat on the piano stool. The look on her face told a story they all felt. Finn had made a name for himself not only on the football team but in the Glee Club. Many people looked up to him, the councillor included. Lowering her head, a tear glistened in her eyes and then her expression changed as the news settled in. Pushing herself off the stool with her hands, she walked over to give the teens each a hug. Tears ran down her face.

The news spread through the school over the next half hour causing a disruptions in the senior classes. An announcement informed students they did not have to attend classes but they could not go home either. The new students did not understand the quiet which took over the halls the seniors had claimed. All over the school large numbers of students sat about in various states bringing the normal workings to a halt. Even the hall bullies pulled in their claws out of respect.

Blaine wished Kurt could see this because his lover had no idea what affect Finn had on the students coming up behind him. Friends, including members of the football team and some teachers, gathered in the chamber where Finn made his biggest impact. Some cried and others sat about talking. Brittany gave Blaine giving him a hug and one of her all so charmingly weird statements. Sue did not even disrupt classes in her usual manner. In fact, she sat with her back to the wall crying like the rest of them.

The rest of the day flew by in a blur. Some classes got under way around eleven but the school remained somber and quiet. At lunch the New Directions wandered out into the courtyard where they encountered eerie silence. The mood of the school disturbed Blaine and he returned to the one sanctuary he knew—the music room. It did not take long before the people who knew Finn the best joined him. Mr. Schuester talked to them and tried his best to help his students through their grief. Shortly before the end of the first period after lunch, Blaine called New York.

“Blaine,” Santana choked on his name as she fought to control her sentiments.

“I can call back,” Blaine disliked the words when they rolled from his mouth. He needed to speak to Kurt but he also wanted to be respectful of their privacy.

“No, no,” Santana’s voice did not have the characteristic edge to it. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

“How’s everyone?” A dull ache raced through Blaine’s chest as he recalled the fact Santana had once been interested in Finn. His eyes darted around the room. Everyone watched him.

“Rachel’s a mess. You can probably here her crying into her pillow. She been in and out of it all day.”

“And Kurt?”

“He’s lying on his bed looked at an old scrap book. He’s . . .”

“Santana, can I speak with him?”

“Let me see and Blaine, but thank you for calling.”

“We all loved him. All of us. I’m in the music room.”

“Have you told them?”

“Yeah. Everyone’s kind of upset.” Blaine could tell she moved within the loft. She must have been in the kitchen.

“Give them a hug for me.” The sound of fabric rings moving echoed in the phone and then she said something barely audible.

“Blaine?” Kurt moaned into the phone.

Blaine’s chest puffed out protectively even as his heart sank into his chest because Kurt’s tone tore into him making it hard to breath. Quickly pulling himself together he murmured, “Hey, Kurt, how are you.”

“Good,” Kurt sounded weak.

Noting the sniffle at the end of the word, Blaine said, “Everyone here says hello and sends their thoughts.”

“Is that Rachel?” Marley asked as she turned in her chair. Like the rest she had been peacefully sharing and dealing with the impact.

Holding the phone away from his mouth, Blaine replied, “I’m talking to Kurt.”

No one spoke for a few seconds and then Artie said, “Give him . . . well tell . . .”

Holding his hand up, he begged for peace. Putting the phone next to his ear Blaine said, “Kurt, everyone here is thinking of you and Rachel. They send their best.”

“Ah . . . thank them for Rachel and myself,” Kurt sounded clinical.

Pointing at the phone and then across the room on the other side of the band’s instrument, Blaine let his friends know he wanted some privacy. Picked up a chair he carried it while speaking to his lover, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Hearing your voice is enough,” Kurt sounded distant. “How is everyone taking it?”

“With shock,” Blaine placed the chair next to the wall. He recognized Kurt’s guarded tone when Kurt. Speaking in a soft tone, Blaine said, “I’ve stepped away from the others. Now tell me how you're really doing?”

Kurt said nothing as quiet sobs caressed Blaine’s ears for a few moments. Shedding tears, Blaine desperately wanted to hold his lover. It ate him up inside he could do little but speak. Words held power and he knew they could help is some small way. Waiting, his eyes scanned the room. Tina and Artie held onto each other. Brittany sat there with a blank look on her face with her head on Schuester’s shoulder. The teacher did not hold back. Ms. Pillsbury sat on Schuester’s other side with an arm wrapped around Marley. Sam sat by himself with his hands pressed against his eyes. He stopped crying long ago but looked despondent. Others dotted about the room came and went like faceless spectres. Blaine had trouble seeing anything as he concentrated on the man he loved.

The crying on the other end of the phone slowly subsided but Kurt still said nothing. In the background Rachel spoke quietly with Santana. Trying his best to keep his composure, Blaine agonized over the piece of Kurt which had broken. Unlike their breakup there would be no chance to get back together again. A friend, a brother and a comrade had passed from this world leaving only memories and silence. Blaine’s chest heaved as more tears rolled from his eyes.

“Blaine . . .” The single word silently echoed through the phone. Sharp breathing and a slightly choking sound followed it.

Sentiment constricted in Blaine’s throat. “Kurt?”

“Don’t cry, it make you . . .” The sweet, angelic voice of a man hundreds of miles away had a spark of whit to it.

“Look like a raccoon.” Blaine snickered

More tears passed through the phone followed by a sniffle. “My lovely raccoon . . . I wish you were here. I really need you right now.”

The heart in Blaine’s chest became a lump and found it hard to draw air into his lungs. “I know. I wanted to take the first flight this morning but my mom did not think it was a good idea. Then your father said you were flying in this evening.”

“Will you be there to meet me?” A hint of hope laced Kurt’s tone.

A little excited, Blaine quickly answered, “Nothing will stop me.”

Heavy breathing occupied the other end of the phone. With a sniffle, Kurt quietly said, “Hearing your voice makes me feel better but . . . I miss him . . . you.”

“Finn was a friend Kurt. He and I grew closer after Rachel and you went to New York. I will miss him too.” Blaine paused as a tear rolled down his cheek. Swallowing, he forced the words out. “I really . . . really . . . want to hold you right now and know you’re alright.”

Kurt started to cry again. Fighting with his own emotions, Blaine wanted to stay strong but his efforts miserably failed. Chin trembling, he could not stop the water from cascading down his cheeks. Listening to the sobs on other end of the phone shot spikes into his chest. Red ringed eyes shifted toward his mourning friends. They sat a group around Mr. Shue watching from across the room. Hazel eyes fell upon Sam and Blaine sighed.

“I want that too and . . .” Kurt’s voice failed. “I’m not . . . alright?”

“Kurt? Darling?” Blaine pleaded but then he knew Kurt’s suffering had to take its course.

“To die so young,” Kurt moaned, “And for something so stupid.”

A shiver ran up Blaine’s back leaving an ugly feeling in its wake. Gasping for a quick breath, a phantom rose in his mind sending a sharp blade stabbing at his heart. The stomach turned and in his mind he saw his breath freezing within a cloud of falling snow. Kurt could have been crying for the teen he had broken with but never stopped loving.

Giving his head a shake, Blaine squared his shoulders and pushed the dark thoughts from his mind. No, he lived. Yes, he loved Kurt. Yes, he would be there for the sweet man for the rest of his life. No, he did not want to think about that dark day.

“Blaine, you’re so quiet?” Kurt’s voice sounded tentative.

Blaine blinked. “Just thinking?”

“Of what?” A flicker of enthusiam touched Kurt’s voice.

Blaine lied. “Football.”

“Oh?” Kurt sounded unsure.

A small smile broke the gloom on Blaine’s face. “Yes, you reading vogue while Finn and I are jumping up and down on the other end of the couch.”

Kurt suddenly moaned and broke into tears again. Choking them back he sputtered, “He was . . . playing . . . late night football . . . and took a huge hit.”

Gagging on his breath, Blaine’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach. “Oh . . . god . . . Kurt, I’m so . . . sorry I brought it up.”

Kurt’s reaction came swiftly. “No . . . Blaine, please don’t go there. Carole and Burt only found out an hour ago.”

“Fuck!” Snuffling back his own fears and doubts Blaine moaned, “I should be there.”

Emotion swelled on the other end of the phone. “I want to hold you so much . . . but . . .”

“I know and I just feel terrible.”

“Blaine.” The single word came out as a deadpan note followed by a short intake of air. The sentences that followed had a loving tone to them. “You have always been the softer of the two of us but you’re my rock this morning. Thinking of you make the pain bearable.”

Blaine’s turn to sob. Emotion and words, he had nothing else to share. Ever since a ring had been pressed onto Kurt’s fingers the feelings they shared blossomed. Switching the phone in his other hand, he looked down at his right hand. Warm spread up through his chest because his skin tingled. A broad smile stretched the side of his face because for split second he felt a touch. He sighed.

“Blaine?” Kurt’s soft voice questioned.

A curly haired boy with no gel, hesitated. “I was just thinking of holding your hand.”

Quiet for a second, Kurt quietly replied with an awed sound, “So was I.”

“Kurt, I love you.” Blaine gushed into the phone.

“I love you too Blaine,” Kurt sniffled. “More than you can imagine.”

Snuffling, Blaine drew in a breath and looked to the others in the room. They all stared at him. “Everyone is here, Kurt. The New Directions. They sent you their love.”

Tears flowed on the other end of the phone again. Choking on his words he muttered, “I miss them. Tell them I miss them.”

“I will Kurt.”

Again silence and then Kurt hoarsely whispered, “I really need you.”

“I will be at the airport tonight.”

“Will you hug me?”

“I will never let you go.”

“Blaine, I miss him so much. Finn had been my champion, my brother and friend.” Kurt suddenly laughed. “When he confronted Karofsky in that Lady Gaga outfit.”

Blaine recalled a previous conversation and chuckled. “I would have loved to have seen it.”

“The guys on the football . . .” Kurt fell silent again. “He died of . . . an . . . aneurysm.”

“Oh my . . . god,” Blaine whispered as the silence broke. Curling his lips in, he ran a hand through his fuzzy hair. His eyes went to Artie and Tina and then his head bowed.

“Stupid game.” Kurt growled. “What a . . .”

“Kurt, don’t. Finn loved the game and you played for a little bit.”

“Yeah, he did.”

“When you get in tonight, I will let you have time with your family.”

“You’re family and I would like you to be there.”

They both started to chuckled. A long time ago Kurt has explained certain facts to Blaine.

“Hey?” Kurt’s voice sounded weak.

Blaine mirrored his love’s tone. “Yes.”

“Can you look in on my father and Carole?”

“I stopped in this morning. Carole was alone. My mom and I stayed until Burt got in on the red eye. My mom is there right now. She said I could stay home today but I wanted . . . needed to tell the others. I did not them to hear on the news or through the grapevine.”

“Oh, Blaine . . .”

“Anything for you, my love.”

“I should be in about six.”

“I would have been in your arms by now if I had wings.”

Kurt laughed. “You are my everything Blaine. My love. My rock. My anchor. My snuggle bunny.”

A tear rolled down Blaine’s cheek. “I will show you snuggle bunny tonight.”

“I . . . I . . .” Kurt suddenly stopped.

“No, Kurt. I will be your pillow and you can hold me until you have no more tears to shed.”

“I love you too, Blaine.”

“Kurt, all this crying makes your eyes puffy.”

“Rachel is taking care of that for both of us.”

“Is she coming with you?”

“It hit her hard. After everything they had been through she still loved him. She needs a couple of days to pull herself together. One of her fathers is flying in and Santana will be with her.”

“Kurt, I . . .”

“Blaine, it’s alright but I am going to have to get a move on.”

“Be strong and I will be holding you in a few hours.”

Kurt made kissing sounds into the phone and then the line went dead. Blaine’s arms dropped and he just stared out into space. Finn, dead—unbelievable. Drawing in a deep breath he thought of the two weapons he knew used to combat sorrow—Kurt and music. Searching his thought, he recalled Kurt’s tale of an infamous kiss. Steeling his heart, Blaine drew in a breath and began to sing in low tones.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKTbP8MBO94)

  
_Face to face and heart to heart_  
_We're so close yet so far apart_  
_I close my eyes I look away_  
_That's just because I'm not okay_  
_But I hold on, I stay strong_  
_Wondering if we still belong_

Stirring in their seats friends joined in on by one. Slowly Blaine stood and walked toward them.

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling_  
_Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls_  
_Will we ever have our happy ending?_  
_Or will we forever only be pretending?_  
_Will we always, always, always be pretending_

_How long do I fantasize_  
_Make believe that it's still alive_  
_Imagine that I am good enough_  
_And we can choose the ones we love_  
_But I hold on, I stay strong_  
_Wondering if we still belong,_

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling_  
_Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls_  
_Will we ever have our happy ending?_  
_Or will we forever only be pretending?_  
_Will we always, always, always be_

_Keeping secrets safe_  
_Every move we make_  
_Seems like no ones letting go_  
_And it's such a shame_  
_Cause if you feel the same_  
_How am I supposed to know?_

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling_  
_Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls_  
_Will we ever have our happy ending?_  
_Or will we forever only be pretending?_  
_Will we always, always, always be_  
_Will we always, always, always be_  
_WIll we always, always, always be pretending?_

By the end everyone had gathered around the chair Finn had normally occupied. Holding hands they stared at the picture of two brothers dancing.


	16. Ashes

“Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,” the priest droned standing over the casket covered with bright red, white and yellow flowers. His hand slowly moved in blessing. “Finn lived a short but good life. Those who knew him will remember his kindness and good spirit. His soul travels to heaven where he looks down up on us with an adoring smile. I can see by those gathered, Finn touched many. He loved and in turn had been loved.”

The numbness of his fingers testified to how hard the hand holding his. Kurt stood beside Blaine, left in right, looking stoned face as tears rolled down his face. In turn a son held Carole’s hand while on the other side of a distraught mother stood Burt. Holding his wife’s other hand, the congressman dabbed the water from his eyes. Rachel’s soft and shaking hand gripped Blaine’s left. Around them arrayed family, the Glee club, the football team, students, teachers and other friends. As a testament to what people thought of the young jock, four hundred people show up for Finn’s funeral.

Moving in response to Kurt’s motions, Blaine reassured his fiancé by rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand. The heart rested heavily in his chest but, at the same time, Blaine sensed undying love for the man he adored. Hard times could make or break any relationship and in this instance it only added cement to a firm foundation. Seeing Kurt so upset forced Blaine to face some of his issues left over from their split and sharing emotion and crying made sharing easier.

Regardless of his own feelings, the past few days had been about two brothers and their complex relationship. After all their trials in the beginning, Finn turned out to be a good guy. Right after the wedding proposal Kurt called his brother to share the joy. It took a little while before the jock called back but when it did his voice overflowed with excitement. Kurt put it on speakerphone for everyone to hear as he told his brother about his future brother-in-law. Finn went silent and, then in his usual style he came back with a simple—what took you so long. Blaine thought he heard him sniffled when Kurt asked him to be his best man. Blaine had already decided on Sam.

On this day and at this time, Blaine had trouble keeping his thoughts together due to conflicting emotions. Feeling numb, he forced himself to focus on supporting his lover and his family. So much had been said bringing a sense of remorseful calm and then Rachel arrived stirring sentiment. The atmosphere in the choir roomed changed when she arrived. It had settled in with most people and then her song pierced their hearts. Emotions flared again bringing a new round of sobbing and hugs.

The fingers wrapped around his twitched every so often indicating Kurt’s moods. When Kurt came home, Blaine stayed overnight cuddling with the man as they quietly talked and cried. Kurt did not know what to do with himself and Blaine did not understand what he could do to help. One moment Kurt would be upbeat and then next a mess. Blaine had nothing to relate to other than the funeral for Pavarotti which gave Blaine a hint of how Kurt had felt at his mother’s burial. He knew the bird but it had only been a bird. Finn, on the other hand, talked, joked and sung with Blaine. They fought and compromised, made promises and watched football games together while Kurt read.

Six days ago, Kurt arrived at the airport where family scooped him up into a loving embrace. Standing off to one side Blaine’s brows pressed together giving him a sad look. As the family shed tears together he watched Kurt as he buried his head into Burt’s chest. With his other arm he drew Carole as close could and then gently kissed her on the cheek. Trying his best not to cry, part of Blaine wanted to march over there and then he wanted to be reverential. Finn had been a friend but to Kurt he had became a brother, to Carole and Burt a son.

He came because Kurt wanted it and he needed it. Talking on the phone just did not do it and then Kurt suffered through the plane ride alone. With nothing to do but to stare at his copy of SkyMall, the dear man must have endured all sorts of thoughts and emotions. Hand folded behind his back, he choked back deep feelings hoping his presence helped.

A hand reached out and on instinct Blaine took it. It felt cold and shaky but alive at the same time. Five digits squeezed drawing Blaine so close two young men could caught a whiff of each other scent. Looking up wet blue eyes fell caught hazel and a lump rose in Blaine’s throat. Drawing in a deep breath a tear rolled down his cheek. Carole’s hand touched his arm drawing Blaine in to the embrace where she caressed his back. With a sigh he melted in to the embrace allowing sentiment to take him.

Conscious of the desire for the boys to have a moment along, the parents stepped away first as Burt placed his arms protectively around his wife. Two teens looked at each other with deep sadness and then hugged as if their lives depended on it. A head fell on Blaine’s shoulder and the felt his lover shudder. Holding each other for a long moment Blaine broke it up when he gently kissed Kurt on the cheek. Blue eyes started at him and then Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine’s. The chaste kiss brought a small smile to each of their faces and then embraced again knowing their warmth soothed.

Glancing up, Blaine looked to Carole. Holding on to his lover’s left hand, Blaine allowed Carole to draw him in to a hug. A heavy breath expanded his chest and then his head came to rest on her shoulder. Burt wrapper his arms about the two of them and then Kurt nestled in behind his fiancé completing the circuit. For the first time today, Blaine felt protected from the angst he suffered. How upset would Kurt be? Did the family truly want him to be there? He knew he worried for the sake of worrying but he always did. A fault and a strength, seeing the look in Kurt’s eyes made his heart stand still and then a twinkle glistened within those blue orbs. Blaine smiled and shed a tear at the same time.

Kurt went to McKinley a few times and sat in on practice but did not sing. Walking through the door holding Blaine’s hand that first time brought everyone to a stop. No one knew what to say and then Brittany raced forward to give Kurt a hug which Kurt just fell into. Tears flowed from her eyes as she rubbed her hand up and down her friends back. Bodies gradually surrounded two sad lovers as the New Directions found solace in one another’s arms.

Mercedes arrived from the west coast two days after Kurt hugged his family at the airport. Stopping at the Hummel’s before going to her parent’s house, she paid her respect and had a good cry. She took the news of Finn’s death hard. Mike arrived that night.

Artie and Tina arrived from New York the next morning and made their way to the school after settling in. Again, it made for sad times as friends pulled together and remembered. Blaine had never seen Artie cry until that day. It wrenched his heart knowing they were tears of remorse rather than joy. The reunion turned harder when the members of Glee placed flowers and mementos at the base of where Finn’s locker had been. Everyone looked up when Rachel and Santana interrupted their thoughts.

Rachel honestly loved Finn. Her high school boyfriend broke her heart when he did the right thing sending her to New York. She would not have taken that big step if he had not been so brave. Anger filled Rachel’s heart at the time but Finn proved his affection when he saved her from being devastated by Brody. Like two estranged men, Finn and Rachel hooked up at Schuester’s failed wedding. Now she stood there with tears running down her cheeks.

Looking to Kurt, Blaine let out a soft sigh. The darling man barely held it together and the sight stung Blaine’s heart. Nothing he could do would make Finn come back or heal the pain in his lover’s chest. Being there and holding his hand spoke of a committed love Blaine knew would help soften the shock. Incapable of doing anything else, his mind shot ‘what ifs’ at him. What it had been Kurt who has died? The muscles of his torso wrenched at the thought. The weeks of separation had been rough but never being able to see him again, well Blaine did not know how he would survive. If Kurt had said no, yes it would have been beyond painful, but he would know Kurt still lived. This felt permanent.

Kurt must have known Blaine gazed at him because the grip of his hand tightened. Slowly Blaine leaned his head on Kurt’s shoulder where hair briefly ruffled gelled curls as his lover’s head moved ever so slightly in response. The service went on and Blaine found his mind drifting back to the church. Kurt had chosen to speak and his words brought tears to everyone’s eyes.

“A brother. A savour. My knight in shining armour,” Kurt started off. He stumbled on the words as water streamed down his cheeks. A young man faltered as he gasped for air as his eyes wandered to the images of Finn flashing on a screen to his left. “Finn . . . brother mine of another mother . . . it’s too early for you. Your life . . . has been filled with joy and discovery. When we first . . .”

Sucking in a deep breath, Blaine bit his lower lip. Squeezing a balled up Kleenex in his fist, his right hand rested on the empty space Kurt had been sitting in. His mother sat to his left with one hand wrapped around her son’s arm. To everyone’s surprise, Daniel came to the funeral and sat next to her.

Carole and Burt sat side by side next to the empty space. Sylvester, Schuester, Pillsbury and the New Direction, new and old, sat two rows back. Other family members filled in the space between. The teens of the New Directions escorted Finn in to the church with Kurt and Blaine in front. A football rested in the center of the casket surrounded by flowers. Carole insisted and Burt would have it no other way.

Fingers touched his and Blaine started with the surprise. Glancing to his right, Carole’s hand had come to rest on his. Their eyes did not meet but her thumb warmly caressed Blaine’s hand. The teen reciprocated as he flipped hand over wrapping his fingers in hers.

“Finn . . . you lovable hunk, your quirky little smile hid a hidden mischievous side. Then your face would explode in to a smile so big the room would light up. To a bullied gay . . .” Kurt stalled.

A shot of pain shot through Blaine’s stomach—Karofsky. Defeating the urge to look back, Blaine knew Kurt’s old tormentor sat in the back to the church.

Blue eyes sought Blaine as if Kurt somehow knew. With a small grin he continued, “He was the straight boy who struggled to understand and overcome his own fears. Yes . . . we clashed and then we . . . grew and became real brothers. At our . . . parent’s . . . wedding he. . . ” Wiping his eyes with his hand, Kurt fell silence again. An image of the two brothers dancing arm in arm flashed on the screen.

Smiling, Blaine felt a tear roll form his eyes. He loved Kurt so much.

“Your mother . . . Carole . . . said I saved her from her wardrobe just as my father had saved her from . . .” Kurt bit his lip and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Struggling to get the words out, he tried, “Finn you . . . saved me . . . protected me and . . . loved me. You . . .”

Opening and closing his eyes to wick the tears way, Blaine watched his suffering husband-to-be knowing the words killed him. Then he saw it, a hand longingly stretched out to him as if pleading for help. Honey brown eyes quickly looked to Burt and Carole. Finn’s mother looked straight ahead with a look of despondence on his pale face. Her husband stared at his son and then looked to Blaine. A tear running down his face, the congressman nodded and Blaine glanced at his mom. Pam patted her son on the arm with a reassuring smile.

Lifting Carole’s hand with his, Finn’s mother glanced at Blaine. An expressionless face slowly turned in to a small smile and she mouthed the words—go to him. Biting his upper lip, Blaine kissed her hand.

Feeling a little self-conscious as the stood, Blaine glanced back at his friends and then stepped forward. Climbing the steps to the podium, his eyes locked on Kurt who stood frozen in time. The man he loved looked upset but then those blue eyes spoke of hope and love. Kurt needed the support a right hand in his left could offer. At the time neither of them understood the impact their short friendship with a jock would have on them.

Old Blaine recalled the feeling off Kurt’s cool but sweaty hand slipping in to his as if he stood there once more. Fingers gripped tightly at first and Blaine swore he could feel Kurt’s pulse pounding in his thumb. As he felt his own warmth spread to Kurt, Blaine sensed the relief within his boyfriend. Blue eyes shifted to the left and for a moment Kurt’s watery eyes brightened bringing an old man pleasure. Wishing he could feel the same, old lips pressed into the winkled skin of the man beside him. During a solemn occasion all those years ago, Kurt’s thumb rubbed the back of Blaine’s hand drawing strength from some timeless place old Blaine only now began to understand.

Aged eyes scanned up the wall behind the piano where a goofy picture of Finn with crooked glassed took center stage. Blurred by age and tears, old Blaine fondly smiled. So short but then Finn left a mark two husbands could not deny. Even now he could recall Kurt’s words as the young man drew in a deep breath and started speaking again.

“Finn had not always been . . .” Sniffles caused Kurt to pause and then blue eyes locked on hazel. Drawing on the strength he saw there, Kurt cared on. “Finn, when we . . . first met you would toss me in the dumpster.”

A couple of people in the mourners chuckled, Puckerman among them.

Squeezing Blaine’s hand, Kurt expected the reaction. Eyes flickered and the step-brother went on, “Then you showed compassion by allowing me to take off my designer jacket or hold my bag. Finn struggled with who he was but his heart always remained pure and strong. He loved more than we could ever imagine. While he hated babysitting, he loved children. He would have made a wonderful father.”

A handkerchief came up to Rachel’s face as her father beside her pulled her closer.

Taking a moment to collect himself, Kurt leaned into Blaine. Closing his eyes for a second he went on, “He played the games the popular kids did but deep down he had a . . . heart of gold. He made me so angry but then I heard what he did for Artie and I realized a human lived under all those pads. He came across as such a jerk but then . . . I realized fear held him but his heart knew where he wanted to be. When Mr. Schuester tricked him into joining Glee, Finn looked so . . . frightened. But then, what a voice. What whit. What a smile.”

Stalling, Kurt pulled in a long breath and glanced at Blaine who winked.

Kurt slowly went on, “Finn swallowed his fears and stepped out of his out of his private closet. Finn turned out to be friend . . . no a great friend . . . who put his reputation on the line to save me from a beating wearing a red shower curtain.”

Some of the audience laughed.

A smirk brightened Kurt’s demeanor. “He proved to be strong, caring and a man. It broke his heart when Rachel left for New York but that had heart always . . . her and still is. He loved you Rachel.”

Many eyes went to Rachel who leaned into one of her fathers on Burt’s left. A tear rolled down Blaine’s cheek causing him to draw in a deep breath. Kurt’s fingers pulsed and two men looked at each other for a split second.

“His life ended too . . . early,” Kurt sniffled and dabbed his nose with his handkerchief. “Too early . . . but everyone he touched knows the man he would have been. He loved life. He loved football. He loved his family and friends. We can only speculate where all this love would have taken him . . . Broadway, movies, the Super bowl . . . or lots of children running around a tire store as he held the woman he loved.”

Hazel eyes went to Rachel causing his chest to tighten. Large wet eyes shifted to Kurt.

“Darling Rachel . . .” Kurt paused to catch his breath. “He’s up there looking down at you . . . at all of us . . . with a heart filled with love.”

Wrapping his arm around Rachel, one of her father’s pulled her close as he dabbed at the tears flowing from her eyes. Choking up, Blaine found it hard not to shed a tear himself. Every word held undeniable truth and spoke of the promise of a young man whose life would never see the years pass. At one time Finn filled a hole in Blaine’s heart as the two of them soldiered through the first phases of New York. Parallel paths pulled them together and while Blaine did not love him the way Kurt did, he still loved him.

Glancing at Blaine, Kurt pulled in his lips and squeezed a hand. Drawing in a deep breath he added before the two stepped away from the podium, “I miss him . . . I loved him . . . he left us too soon.”

The wind blew through gelled hair as if a kindred soul reached out to comfort him. Looking up in to the sky of mixed white and blue a ray of warm struck his face. For a second it felt as if three fingers stroked his cheek. Smiling, he glanced to Kurt who stood there staring at the casket lost in his memories and grief. Love touched Blaine’s heart meshing with sadness. From Blaine’s perspective, his fiancé showed courage Blaine rarely felt. Kurt moved through his life with a stately poise and a childish whimsy of a man who knew what he wanted. Today he, they, held on to each other not only our sadness or love but because of a man Kurt called brother.

The minister spoke his last words of blessing and then turned to the family offering his hand. Shaking those of the grieving parents and brother, he then stepped back allowing them a moment. A head gently fell came to rest on Blaine’s shoulder and co-joined hands pressed around to his back. The familiar smell caressed Blaine’s nose causing his heart to feel less pain.

Around them the crowds started to thin. Finn’s closest friends accepted an invitation to go back to the Hummel’s this afternoon but for now, they gave the family time. Slowly Rachel walked around to the other side of the coffin and then stopped. A hand coming up to her face she sobbed. Two father stepped forward to comfort their child. The two had split up just before Rachel left for New York. While they may not think of themselves in the same light any more, they came together to support their daughter they both loved.

Holding wife’s shoulder, Burt wiped the water from his cheeks and looked to Kurt. He loved Finn as if he had been his own child but then he also thought of Kurt’s mother. They expected her to die but it made it no less hard. The death of Carole’s husband had a dark edge, but Finn came as an unforeseen surprise.

The pulse of Kurt’s left hand pounded beneath the flesh gently reminded Blaine of his luck. The heart lifted bringing a small smile to Blaine’s lips. Lightly squishing those fingers, the young man reciprocated and then his head slowly lifted. Blue eyes stared in to hazel and then Kurt smiled. In that instant Blaine knew it would take time but his lover would recover.

Holding a handkerchief to her face, Carole stood over her son with Burt’s arm lovingly wrapped around her. No longer crying, she stared at the flower strewn casket lost in deep thoughts only a mother could understand. No one said a word. Quiet footfalls crunching leaves and the wind became the only sound. The sun beat down over head providing warmth on a sad day.

Suddenly she held her hand out to Kurt who waited with Blaine a respectfully short distance away. Answering, Kurt walked forward and dutifully Blaine followed. The former Warbler felt awkward interrupting in a deep family matter but Kurt would not let his hand go. The days leading up to this moment turned out harder than expected because the police held onto Finn’s body. Burt admitted it had to do with the fact he worked in Washington and the FBI had to be certain.

Wrapping his arm about his stepmother, Kurt leaned in close bowing his head. Reaching across her stepson’s back, Carole’s hand brushed against Blaine’s suit jacket catching his attention. Looking that way, Carole gazed at him with red eyes. The teen’s left hand came up crossing over his chest where it gently came to rest on hers.

Holding two different hands, Kurt squeezed his fiancé right and Blaine responded by rocking his body ever so gently. Moving as close to Kurt as he could, Blaine watched Rachel. Her arms folded across her chest she stepped closer to the casket from the opposite side of the family. Head bowed she gently placed her hand on casket with tears streaming down her face. She loved him more than anyone could have realized.

Choking back a sob, Blaine felt Kurt’s head rise against his. Together they gazed across the flowers at the woman who would have married Kurt’s brother. Wearing black she drew in a deep breath and then her tender voice broke the silence causing the departing crowd to pause.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEaCDdTQvk4

  
_When the rain is blowing in your face_  
 _And the whole world is on your case_  
 _I could offer you a warm embrace_  
 _To make you feel my love_

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear_   
_And there is no one there to dry your tears_   
_I could hold you for a million years_   
_To make you feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_   
_But I would never do you wrong_   
_I've known it from the moment that we met_   
_No doubt in my mind where you belong_

_I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue_   
_And I'd go crawling down the avenue_   
_No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do_   
_To make you feel my love_

_Oohh_   
_Hmmm_

_Oh, the storms are raging on the rolling sea_   
_And on the highway of regret_   
_The winds of change are blowing wild and free_   
_You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true_   
_Nothing that I wouldn't do_   
_Go to the ends of the Earth for you_   
_To make you feel my love_

_To make you feel my love_


	17. Old Men

Smiling up at the man he loved, old Blaine recalled how Kurt drew back from lovemaking following Finn’s funeral. The lovers moved into the Hummel’s where cuddling became a mainstay of their healing. Fully clothed Kurt would lean up against the warm body beside him while Blaine gentle stroked his back. Stealing the occasional kiss became their only risqué display of intimacy. The loss hung raw on Kurt’s heart and, honestly, Blaine just did not have the desire for anything more strenuous.

The night before a fiancé and three friends returned to New York, Kurt initiated romance. It started out tentatively as if sex would ruin Kurt’s mourning but then he became the beast Blaine enjoyed. Raw emotion and longing overcame sorrow as the moment feed their love and cemented feelings they would need to carry them through until Blaine graduated. Those weeks became a bit of a jumble in an old man’s mind where the reality of his life diminished. Moments ago the mind recognized the fact his beloved Kurt joined his step-brother. A cascade of life’s experiences forced aged Blaine to smile.

Visiting every three weeks did not seem enough for either of them but they made due. Talking on the phone and texting sweet nothings helped them through the day followed by longingly staring at one another via Skype. Pain could still be heard in Kurt’s voice but he started a conversation about post-graduation. Oddly, old Blaine did not recall speaking about the issue of actually living together. Short sighted on both their parts, it became something a dying man tried not to think about. He hated the arguments but like the making up. The second split almost killed him and to find solace he went somewhere he felt might allow him to move on but it only acted as a constant reminder.

Reaching up, old fingers stroked a dead lover’s cheek, old Blaine felt Kurt’s warmth even though the breath had gone out of him. A tear rolled down wrinkled skin to drop from a cheek. “Do you remember the day . . . no of course you don’t . . . oh, my dearest, you filled me with every emotion. Oh, how foolish, of course you remember when I traveled to New York just to take you for dinner. Not just a burger on the corner but a real dinner. Two young puppies dressed in suits and holding hand as we walked in to one of the finest restaurants off of Battery Park. I did that all for you, my love. I wanted you . . . well you know . . . I loved you and still do with all my heart. Finn had died and you still mourned and I needed . . .”

An old man grinned and lay his head against a still hand. “My soul knew something that my mind and body didn't . . . yet . . . I said that to you once, my love and it meant everything my soul felt.”

A tear rolled from old, hazel eyes. Unable to see clearly, his glasses lay on the coffee table in front of him. The furniture of their humble abode remained classic but, old when compared to modern standards. The loving couple had acquired many items over their lives replacing the old hand-me-downs they once had with fine and expensive pieces. Through their fourties, fifties and sixties, they became a Broadway power couple and Kurt wanted keep up appearances. To be honest, old Blaine did not mind because he liked the good life.

“Finn, oh Finn, we missed you. Two old queers celebrated every year a life that could have been with Rachel singing your favourites. When I wrote a musical honouring you, you, my dearest Kurt cried.” Squinting the picture of Finn with off set glasses and goofy look on his face came into focus. One of the new New Directions collected up the items of Kurt’s private time capsule and shipped it to him. Now most of it held special place on the shelf.

Old Blaine snickered and then his thought shifted as if a plug had been pulled on a sink. The suffering man blinked and just lay there with a blank look on his face. Nothing happened for a few short seconds and then a hard breath filled his lungs. Heavily exhaling, he whispered, “Its funny how it works. We lived and loved our lives through and he died so young. Will he be there when I join you? Are you speaking to him right now? Has he and Rachel come back and found each other again? We will.”

The heart beat hard in the chest sending another wave of pain shooting down the left side of the body. Gritting his teeth, lungs struggled to pull air in and for a moment and old brain winked out as if the channel had been switched. The fog of late night television took over creating a field of snow. A body spasm came with another shock wave racing through his limbs telling Blaine he did not have long. The halls of McKinley floated into existence once more where a young man stood facing an angry teenage girl with a second girl staring on in horror. His husband had made a statement and, strangely, Blaine looked at the rebuttal from a disturbing perspective.

“. . . said to heart, and I thought long and hard about it, and it occurred to me that you may have a point.” Santana stated in a soft low tone. She looked young and irritated in stark contrast to the last time an old man saw her. Twenty years ago she rested in a padded rocking chair looking at two age old friends while a medical machine cleansed her blood. Dozing in the chair beside her, Brittany survived her by a dozen years.

“Okay, maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married.” Santana paused for a second and then rolled on with her usual charm and commitment allowing her sharp get bloodied with each word. “I mean, after all, that's why it didn't work out with you and Blaine, right? Or maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little gerontophile with a mouth like a cat's ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together or farted.”

Coughing made it hard for old Blaine to laugh. The story always changed with the telling and who told it. Over time Blaine pieced his own version together because he knew he would never get the whole truth. The first recounting came while drinking two bottles of wine one night after they reunited.

The tornado called Santana flashed away leaving and old man both shocked and pleased. Embers of the confrontation echoed in his mind allowing him to grasp at the aftermath his husband had glossed over. Angry words sank deep into Kurt’s chest as his thoughts rolled back to a when two young lovers broke for he first time. The emptiness of the soul returned leaving an ugly sensation of lose.

Chin hanging down, Rachel’s eyes followed Santana and then they shifted to Kurt. The pale boy stood there blankly gazing at a dozen sets of stunned eyes staring back at him. In some odd way, an old man felt the sentiment clashing within the man he loved. Logic told him the pain scattered his mind but something deeper allowed and old man to feel his lover in a manner he had never expected.

“Well . . . “ Rachel fell silent.

She barely got the word out before Kurt cut her off. Pulling his hand back from in front of his face Kurt huffed and harshly stated, “Let’s . . . what the hell . . . “

“Kurt?” Rachel grabbed his arm and pulled him down the hall.

“How dare she?” Kurt grumbled on the outside even though his heart flipped.

An old man never realized what an affect those words had on the man he loved. Their youth had been a mix of ups and downs which shattered them in so many ways as their love sank into a pool of despair and anger. Childish stubbornness almost doomed them but the fault lay in their inability to talk.

Breathing in an old man waited for the discomfort to pass. In a low, soft voice, old Blaine whispered, “Thank you Santana.”

From out of nowhere a puff of warm air passed through what remained of Blaine’s hair as if someone thanked him. The smell of a luxury, coffee, floated in front of his nose. Laughing, his eyes went up to his husband again and he smiled. “Our lives together has been blessed, my love. A squabble here and a massive disagreement there but we survived. I loved those long days after we got back together again. You made me feel so comforted even though the distance pulled at us.”

Shifting to make himself more comfortable, old Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s forearm and gently stroked his unmoving hand. “How I loved and adored . . . adore you. Flowers in the afternoon and long mornings in each other’s arms between days and weeks of madness. We’ve made our mark on history and for that I am proud. We endured and overcame and were just ourselves.”

“You always thought we were so young but I never did. Do you remember . . .” Old Blaine drew in a breath and grinned. “Well, I do. You always had something special for us to do when I came to New York and then there were all those little things you did in school or back stage. Waking up with the children during a thunderstorm or getting between them during a fight . . . It tore me apart those years they did not speak.”

A sigh escaped old lips and a wrinkled cheek came to rest against a hand. Closing his eyes a surviving partner lamented the lack of a pulse. He missed it. He missed Kurt. He missed so much. “Finn, you dear man, you were . . . Gods, I’m all over the place today. You would call it normal, my love, but then we’re both old farts. Your mind was not the same either, my sweet, but we forget things together.”

“Did I put on blue or red socks this morning? I don’t remember but . . . then . . . I don’t know?” Clearing his throat, old Blaine sighed followed by a frown. “Why is it I can see so clearly now when I forgot the water in the kettle this morning. I had to give up what I loved because I could no longer remember where the notes went. Our poor piano has seen less action than we have over the past decade. Pity, I loved playing . . . both.”

Hazel eyes rolled up allowing his lover’s chin into view. The sight enthralled him for a moment seconds and then his brow scrunched up and then she said, “You would just call me old, as you did this morning with a smile and a wink.”

The brows furrowed and then one went up as if Blaine lost track of his thoughts. The eyes scanned the room and the focused on a large musical instrument. “When you went back to McKinley I was surprised to find a piano in the courtyard. Convenient but odd. Later I learned there were pianos all over the school and I thought, ‘what a cool thing’. We were . . . are . . . such cool people. You made me happy in so many ways even when I was angry.’

Words suddenly failed and for the first time since he realized his love no longer breathed, crushing lose took and old man’s heart. Uncontrolled tears welled up in his eyes as he drew in air through short breaths. The sensation started at the tip of his fingers ending in a sharp spike of agony in his chest. A hand pressed flat against his sweater as if it could somehow end the pain. Head drooping onto Kurt’s arm, an old man panted while sweat dripped into an eye.

“Here is comes . . . my love . . . we will . . . I’m meeting you soon. A chill runs through me . . . oh . . . Baby its cold in here.” Struggling against the ache, old Blaine closed his eyes and found the strength to chuckle. “We . . . sounded so good back then and you were . . . are so beautiful. I was so . . . stupid not to see how I flirted with you. It felt so natural as if we had been together for years already.”

A coughing fit mixed with the pain of an irregularly beating heart broke and old man’s thoughts. No long able to feel the tips of this toes and fingers, numbness caressed his body. Sweat beaded on his forehead and ran down his back as if on a hot, summer’s day. Short, groping breaths forced air into his lungs making his torments worse. The body died but his soul and memories made demands forcing an old man to go on.

A sudden jolt of pain caused the eyes to roll up into the back of old Blaine’s head. Then, the sound of applause and laughter pulled at him and then he felt another puff of warm air on his cheek. Startled, another jet of pain raked his body and then he felt abrupt calm as if someone wrapped their loving arms about him. With a smile he placed his hand weakly against Kurt’s and wrapped their fingers together. Right in left, he instantly felt a sense of wonder. Kurt peacefully passed and he suffered. Did the misgivings of his heart and the power of life want him to see something?

Inhaling a few short gasps of air, the dread in the center of his chest faded to a dull ache. Tense muscles deflated but the brain remained fuzzy. Instinct and the needs of the body dictated thought but something pulled at him leaving him confused. Until this latest attack he managed to hold it together but now he felt tired. Scattered beliefs tried to force his intellect to compose the words properly according to the events a lifetime ago.

Drawing in a heavy breath he smiled. “Oh, my love . . . I miss you . . . so much but . . . Be patient and remember that I love you always.”

“Where did I put my glasses?” Old eyes glanced about and everything looked fussy. “Want to see that picture of you on fiftieth wedding anniversary. No . . . damn . . . it’s on the bedroom wall.”

“Age holds me but then I feel young. Funny, it feels as if I . . . this point in my life. Either that or I’ve truly lost it this time.” The side of an old man’s face curled up in to that all so charming lopsided grin and then he chuckled. “Don’t ask me how but . . . I don’t know. I’ve never subscribed to what the experts call the secrets of death. It hasn’t helped the two of us but then everything but everything . . . why do I feel I’ve been here before.”

The neck cocked to the left and furry white brows pushed together. Lips pushing out an old man said to himself, “So why do I hang on? Out of love? Yes . . . I love you too much. Out of greed? Oh, yeah, you’re my greedy pleasure.”

“Broccoli, really? I felt so out of place with my hair all messy but you soothed me with kind and gentle words.” Old Blaine looked up at those blue eyes looking straight ahead staring at some point on the wall. The head shifted as hazel followed the end of life gaze bringing a large smile to a wrinkled face. “The two of us at prom riding that stupid dinosaur. That was so much fun.”

Resting his head on Kurt’s arm again, and old man felt warmth spreading through his chest pushing the pain back. “Do you recall your reaction when you found the crown of your head getting thin? You would have thought the world had come to and end. What were you, thirty-seven or was it eight, but never mind, I know I laughed and you did not speak to me for the rest of the week. You were so cute.”

“Maybe I remember so that I can find all those things an aging mind misplaces and carry them to whatever comes next.” The last few words tumbled away as if a train fell form the tracks.

A joy of getting older, memory became another page on the internet to flip past. The scroll bar ran down as if possessed and then he found himself back in the music room where he, and old friends sang. He sang and did.

_He closed his eyes and dreamed,_   
_For a moment the warmth returned,_   
_Beautiful and at peace he sleeps beside me._

_To pine for him, to hold and caress_   
_He had been a friend who shares laughter_   
_Fought a few battles, winning and lost_

_Five decades spent together,_   
_Sharing an enduring love and Intertwining physical contact._   
_We grew into one and making time stand still_

_More than friends and better than family_   
_Love beyond measure filled the heart_   
_The soul calls upon high touching some special place_

_The mists of an endless dream surround him_   
_A lonely smile and a caring embrace_   
_The tear that glistens in the eye when I look at you, my love_

_Five decades spent together,_   
_Sharing an enduring love and Intertwining physical contact._   
_We grew into one and making time stand still_

_You are my water and I am your beach_   
_We walked together into the sun holding hands_   
_Right and left, you fill my heart in so many ways._

_An old man never lost affection_   
_He cherishes the long days of our lives_   
_My heart is yours forever until the end_   
_Two hearts have become one until the end_   
_Two hearts have become one until the end_

A dying man smiled as he cuddled up against the arm of the man who loved him with all his life. Wildly smiling, old man proudly muttered, “Ah, I still have even if I crocked a few times.”

Squeezing Kurt’s still thumb, recalled Santana, Brittany, family and many friends gathered on the stage of the venerable Broadhurst Theater for the society party. The next year a loving husband added it to his last musical winning him final last Tony. “I wrote and sang that for our fiftieth surprising everyone.”

The mind flipped again and an old man saw two young men in white suits in a barn. Having rediscovered their love, they held hands and bounced on their toes. Slowly walking toward them, Burt and Carole looked giddy. An old man wept at the memory of a fantastic day.

“Hey, guys.” Kurt called out as he dragged Blaine around the corner. Shoulder to should, holding hands, they basked in their togetherness.

Looking at the cards in his hands Burt said to his the two young men. “Hey, what's up, guys? Just going over my notes before my officiating.”

Carole beamed at the two young and freshly reunited lovers she said in an excited tone, “You both look so handsome in your suits.”

“Yes, you do.” Burt smiled at his son and the boyfriends.

“Seems like only yesterday we were getting ready for your guy’s wedding.” The words rolled from Kurt’s mouth with raised eyebrows.

“That was the most beautiful day.” Carole placed a hand on her husband’s arm.

“Best day of my life.” Burt leaned in and kissed Carole with a soft moan.

Grinning Blaine said, “It's crazy to think . . . that we almost followed right in your footsteps.”

Turning to face his parents, Kurt said, “Well, almost, and that would have been a beautiful day, too, but, you know, it just it wasn't meant to be.”

How an old man beamed—we almost followed right in your footsteps. He loved those words and the strangeness of the day thanks to a quirky blond, her feisty bride and the scheming of a troublesome teacher. Blaine virtually stumbled over his tongue trying to grasp at what happened around him. As usual, Kurt got it right off. Sometimes Blaine would be a little too thick to catch on right away.

“I mean, you taught me how to be brave.” Brittany said with a straight face standing between to manikins with pictures of Kurt and Blaine on them. “And when you guys called off your wedding, it just broke my heart. Because it felt like my dream had died, so I want my dream back.”

Pondering what Brittany got at, Blaine questioned, “Okay. I still don't get what you're talking about, though.”

“Yes, you do, just think about it,” Kurt voice had a surprised edge to it.

What followed warmed a pained heart causing an old man to blush. He moaned in low tones, “I . . . I just . . . What Burt and Carole were talking about earlier, and these last few months without you have been really I love you, Kurt.”

A tear rolled from an old eye and fell onto a still hand. Lifting his head, old Blaine no longer felt the pain ripping his chest but the only love of a man he held so dear. “Those words . . . I always loved you Kurt and yes it took a crazy woman to push us into each other’s arms. God’s she infuriated me.”

Setting his lips to the moist spot on his departed husband’s hand, Blaine tasted the salt of his tear and his lover’s skin. “The look on Burt’s face when Sue dragged him into the room to find us half naked and dressing in black. I wish we had a camera because he had that ‘are you kidding’ look on his face. No one said a word as he stood there staring and then jumped around like a kid. He even kissed Sue. When we stood up there and he whispered to you I felt so nervous I almost lost it. My heart was so full.”

A puzzled look caused a wrinkled face to change. Shaking his head, an old man closed his eye as if he tried to remember. “Why couldn’t I show my joy? A smirk here and a look there but I looked what . . . like I was stoned. Watching the video you, my handsome Kurt, looked so alive and happy. But I was happy too. Happier than any day of my life. We were doing it, getting married and look where we went together. We found love and made a life where we will not be a footnote on the bottom of some forgotten page.”

An ear pressed down on Kurt’s arms and stared at his long, slender fingers. In his dotage, Kurt remained as thin as ever but Blaine spread in the center like many older people did. Not fat, he called himself pudgy. The two men kept toned well into the sixties and then the cancer hit changing Blaine for the rest of his life. He came out of the hospital so thin and complaining his husband and kids fattened him up for the plate for Christmas day.

Sighing Blaine looked up at Kurt’s face and stared as the beating in his chest stabilized turning the constant pain into a dull inconvenience. In an enduring tone he said, “I wonder what Mary will think when she gets here. Shock? Lose? Tender love? My right hand will be holding your left, our fingers intertwined and my head will be resting so I can look up at those wonderful blue oceans of yours. What a fine end.”


	18. Walking into the Sunset

Two glasses sparkled in the candlelight when their rims touched making a soft clinking sound. Hazel stared at blue across the table of the bistro in a nondescript part of Lima off Elm Street near the river. The table two young men occupied looked down the street toward the trees at the far end where the sky turned pink and purple signing the end of another day. Close to two dozen people sat in groups around them chatting quietly and enjoying a fun evening. The young men could not ask for anything else as the savoured a moment of peace, romance and themselves.

Tonight the excitement involved typical American food such as meat and potatoes. The city of their youth did not compare with the hustle of New York where a new adventure greeted Blaine with each visit. During his last trip to the huge city, they hit the mark with a Spanish place in the Bronx and a spicy Vietnamese near Central Park. On previous trip Blaine learned to enjoy East Indian as the long as the curry level remained at a low and devoured Ethiopian mostly due to the novel way of eating with out utensils. One rambunctious weekend Kurt introduced him to a chocolate café off of Fifty-First Street. The decadence and depravities the delicious mixtures ended with smooth chocolate dripped over Kurt’s personal lollipop. 

Relishing the glint in lover’s eyes, one side of his Blaine’s cheek lifted in that ever so sexy and guaranteed to get laid half smile. Thanking himself for not been bullish at a wonderful offer from his mom and Kurt’s parents, Blaine basked in the prize across from him. Separation had its frustrations but when their special weekends rolled around the magic continued and strengthened. 

Everything felt perfect as the two used their eyes to play with each other. Now and then fingers would stretch finding each other or a leg came to rest against its opposite. Married three days ago, Kurt and Blaine had come a long way in a short period of time. Their wedding night ended as everyone expected—two lovebirds blissfully happy and unforgivably tired. They got back to the hotel sometime before sunrise and barely slept before the calls started. The internet took the news around the block several times alerting their family and friends of the happy occasion. Cooper left several messages, the first being somewhat upbeat with the fifth being apologetic and sappy. It prompted a long call on speaker phone filled with laughs. Then came the calls from various aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and friends some of whom articulated their happy shock.

That afternoon they returned to Lima, two young men nursed hangovers and a raging need to relief certain built up pressures. Dropping Blaine’s mother off turned out to a sorted affair due to the fact Daniel had a bit too much to drink and made his disapproval loudly known. The argument made Kurt very uncomfortable ending when Carole took Pam by the arm and walked her over to the car. She stayed the night at the Hummels. 

Another side effect of the ride home came as complete surprise to the newly minted couple—Carole secretly set up an impromptu party. Effervescent wine and the excitement made the newlyweds more than a little giddy and equally worn. Sometime after nine a weary Blaine managed to find himself in the dark corner of the garage with a very delectable man. Lips met and hands tumbled through clothing and then came an interruption when Kitty and Roderick fell into another’s arms kissing like to ravid beavers. More than a little embarrassed, Blaine took Kurt’s hand and the two silently exited.

A quick lip job before passing out relieved the throbbing tension but it left neither of them satisfied. The pounding on the door about ten the next day did not help. Sam, Rachel, Marley and Spenser dragged the suffering couple off for brunch and then Sue interruption sent them scurrying to meet Santana and Brittany in the gym. It might have ended one problem but the blond’s need to celebrate together every year worried the couple.

Sometime around four Kurt finally dragged his husband away from friends saying, in sharp terms, he wanted some alone time. Somewhat embarrassed and having no choice as his husband dragged him out to the car, Blaine happily endured. Half an hour later Blaine held his lover’s arm as they walked along the river where they talked and enjoyed each other’s presence. Eventually, their path took them to a place where reservations awaited them. 

“To my adorable Blaine, who swept me off my feet with his charming looks and sexy voice,” Kurt grinned as he pushed his glass into husband’s goblet.

A full smile pulled up the other side of Blaine’s face and he almost blushed. “You’re so sweet, my handsome Kurt. What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“You were brave enough to take my hand at the bottom of the stairs.”

“The sound of your voice sent a chill up my back.”

“A good one, I hope.”

“The best and now that I have the ring to prove it, you’re all mine.”

“I recall images of twenty five percent off for the rest of your life in your future at one time.”

Laughing Blaine set his glass to his lips and swallowed a draft of sparkling water with lemon and lime. Still too young to be served alcohol in public, the soft ache behind his right eye reminded him of how much he consumed the past few days. 

“Ok, Mr. Myheartsonmysleeve, what?” Kurt’s brows squished together. “I know that look well enough to know the other shoe will drop.” 

“There’s no shoe.” Blaine grinned as he played what remained of his soup. “It was such a strange and whimsical day which still doesn’t seem all that real.”

“And we’re married.”

“Wonderfully so.”

“I would have it no other way.”

“A weekend and they get a month?”

“Oh, now we get down to it. You feel ripped off.”

“Well, no and yes, but I’ll never be ripped off with you around but then . . .”

“Good save, but stop counting days, sweetheart,” Kurt put his glass down and took his husband’s hand. “We were the baby bonus and she hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

“Yeah, right,” Blaine shook his head even as she smiled. “She had the rings and how did she get the licence?”

“So it was a bit of a set up but we made it.” Kurt’s gave his husband a sideways look. “We’re husband and husband until the end of days and life could not be better.”

“Until the end of days, I like that.” Blaine winked. “It’s funny when I think back . . .”

“Are we going to rehash that again?” Kurt did not sound enthused as he eyes rolled. With a sigh he chucked down have the liquid in his glass.

Staring into those loving blue eyes, Blaine discerned the hell both of them had been through. Rejection and deep, ripping pain had taken Blaine down the road that led to Kurt’s past tormentor. David turned out to really nice but when Blaine thought about it, the whole relationship with the teddy bear seemed surreal. After Kurt returned to Lima, Blaine began to realize that perhaps he had unconsciously been drawn to David because some weird connection to Kurt dwelled there. Finding himself, changed David and no longer picked on people. In fact he went out of his way to be as helpful a humanly possible. When they met each other that night in Scandals, David’s compassion surprised Blaine giving him hope a broken heart might heal. Perhaps their shared pain drew them together but being intimate with David only reminded him of Kurt. Guilt filled him in more than one way and as time passed Blaine had no idea how to escape the trap of his own making. 

David? He did not regret his weeks with Karofsky. At the time Blaine needed it but, now, something deep down told him it would never have lasted. A tiny tinge of discomfort touched his heart with the thought but no one knew what fate had in mind until the two sang together at Rachel’s. Meeting at the Limabean to talk music, two ex-lovers tossed several songs about only to end up at the music store. Faced with the massive collection, Blaine felt awkward and Kurt could not make up his mind. Finally they asked the attendant to choose for them and fate had its way. The song surprised both giving Blaine the impression the attendant noticed the hesitant link between the two young men. Resigned to the song, Blaine fears became reality as he belted out the words. The heart grew bigger and bigger until his suppressed emotions exploded resulting in a rash act which changed their history.

Sorrow gripped Blaine and he unintentionally tightened his grip on Kurt’s hand. Staring at the cement, he felt Kurt’s left hand touch his unshaven face. Hazel eyes came up to meet sparkling blue. Both knew where Blaine had gone. Both felt the pain. Both acknowledged their forgiveness. Slowly Blaine leaned his head into the hand pushing Kurt’s fingers into the last rays of sunlight streaming through the window. Light sparked on his ring.

“You’re lost again?” Kurt’s face moved to the left with the motion of his neck.

“Yeah, I guess.” Dark brows squished together. “I was thinking of the non-cheating contract.”

Kurt scratched his chin and glanced up at the ceiling. “Where did I put that?”

“Where you put it after you made me sign it.” Blaine chuckled as then his eyes went hard. He sighed and then looked down at the fingers mixed with his husband.

“Oh my darling, darling Blaine.” Twisting his head to one side, Kurt suddenly grinned from ear to ear and blew his beloved husband an air kiss.

Moving his head as if he caught it, Blaine smiled and said, “Honestly, I was thinking about David.”

“I know.” Kurt pouted and then added in a soft voice, “Blaine, I don’t fear the past anymore?”

“Neither do I,” Taking both of Kurt’s hand he pulled them closer across the table and kissed each. “I was also thinking of New York and how I was scared and you made me feel comforted.”

“You know me too well.” Holding his husband’s hand, Kurt rubbed the ring on Blaine’s finger not caring what people might think. “And you always made me feel safe.”

Blushing ever so slightly, Blaine leaned closer and the sighed. Looking a bit sad he continued to stare at their hands.

Smirking, Kurt’s eyes twinkled. “Mom and dad are in Washington and I turned off my phone.”

Perking up, Blaine looked surprised. Reaching into his jacket pocket, Blaine pulled out his phone to find fifteen messages and texts. Making a face, he grumbled, “That reporter is persistent.”

“We can call her tomorrow afternoon. Tonight is about the two of us and only us.”

Face brightening into a wicked smile, Blaine unintentionally blurt out, “I’m so horny.”

A second hand came to rest on Blaine’s as his husband gave him a worried look. “You and me both.”

“I have to tell you, every time we, you and I, crossed paths my heart would pound in his chest.” Blaine hesitated and his eyes fluttered. “I found myself lingering following those encounters just to catch a fleeting scent. No matter how I tried, the stark truth haunted me—I loved you. I . . . we . . . fumbled along because of the line drawn that night they met in the bar.”

Squeezing Blaine’s hand, Kurt could not stop himself from grinning. Head bending to one side he glanced up at his husband with puppy blue eyes. “The message he sent us after our wedding was so sweet. He really did have a thing for you and I can’t blame him because you’re so cute and impressively all mine.”

“Flattery will make it harder for me to sit up straight.” Blaine beamed. “Have I told you today I love you so much?’

“At least once.” Kurt impishly grinned.

A single eyebrow went up and then Blaine shook his head. “Well I am going to have to do something about that and yes, I hope everything works out for David.”

“You’re such a softy, my Mr. Gushyromantic.” Squinty blue eyes stared into hazel. “It’s one of the things I really love about you. As for David, he’ll get a few numbers slipped into his pocket.”

“He told me someone tried to slip him a number at the football game after our fateful kiss.” Chuckling Blaine tapped Kurt’s ring finger. “There was something about him which drives people to distraction.”

“Really?” Kurt looked puzzled and then his brows pushed together.

Blaine winked with a small smirk meant to amuse his husband. “You make me wild in all right ways.”

“You say all the best things.” Warmly smiling, Kurt stroked the hair on his husband’s forearm.

Cheeks reddening, Blaine smiled as he bashfully looked down. “And you’re my everything.”

“Give me time and I’ll show you want my everything can do.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You know I have to thank you for the care you took when I first moved in New York.”

“It almost smothered me and led to other . . . disagreements.”

“I’m so sorry about that and not because of the fighting but because I was too blind to see it. I just wanted to catch up with all the time we had lost. As I said that day, I felt unhappy about who I was and it steamed from fear I would never catch up.”

“Oh, my Blaine, you . . . we survived and now we can flourish. I wish you will stop brooding about what was but, then, I know you process things in a different way than I do. Just promise me not to bring it up at your twenty fifth anniversary.”

“I’m sure it’ll be settled by then.” Playfully swatting his husband, Blaine could not stop himself from smiling.

“Do you remember when we went to the Boiler Room?”

“I was so nervous. It was my first night in New York as live-in couple.”

“You didn’t need to be but it is one of those enduring things I like about you. You can be such an honest and oh so charming man, Blaine Anderson-Hummel.”

“When he gave us the once over because of our ID, I freaked me out.”

“Jason did a better job than . . .” Kurt’s nose curled up. “Sebastian.”

A shudder ran down Blaine’s back. “I’ve never seen so many people on a dance floor. But then you were so adorable I had to hold you all night.”

“It was fun and you took your shirt off with no Tina about to take pictures.”

“I did it for you . . . and myself. It helped with the fear.”

“And aroused the locals.”

“I only wanted to arouse one person and I succeeded.” Blaine blushed and then shook his head. “I still can’t believe she posted that.”

“It shocked me and made me really miss you, you sexy beast.”

“But we were . . . no, let’s not go there.”

“I was happy when you moved to New York.”

“But then, I got all clingy, depressed and fat.”

“Your little love handles gave me something to hang onto.”

“Ha ha.”

“We learned.”

“I ate my denial.”

“I should have recognized you were struggling. I’m sorry.”

“I should have been strong enough to see it for myself.”

“We’re young Blaine but now it feels as if we have come out the other end more in love than ever.”

“I love you, so much, dearest,” Blaine touched Kurt’s ring and smiled a soft, meaningful smile. “Yes the past is the past. Live and learn.”

Kurt nodded.

“We can’t always be the teenagers we would like to be.” Blaine went on without a pause. “Relationships and marriage, takes compromise and understanding filled with emotion and longing. I proclaimed I am a work in progress to all to hear and by the sharing of rings I will walk beside you until the last curtain falls.”

Beaming, Kurt leaned closer placing both hands on Blaine's’s, “I could just kiss you.”

“Why don’t you?” Blaine smirked and his cheeks flushed red as imaged of standing on a dark sidewalk flashed in his mind.

Pushing his chair back, Kurt stood and stepped closer moving taking the piece of furniture with him. Putting it gently down, he sat so his knee pressed against his husband. Staring for a few seconds, he then leaned in and kissed Blaine squarely on the lips knowing people watched and made faces.

Leaning into the kiss, Blaine’s heart rose in his throat hoping it would never end. The excitement of marriage still held them but what would the future bring? Two and a half weeks ago, the two kissed and made up in an apartment crowded with packing materials. Physical need trumped everything at the time but the two men made the time for serious conversations.

Backing away an inch, Kurt smiled and then said, “Are you happy now.”

“At this moment I could burst into song.”

“Which one?”

“Baby Its Cold Outside but I think I would change the words to say, baby it’s hot in here.”

“I dare you?”

“And our audience?”

Kurt sighed and glanced about noting the older couple at the nearest table trying not to look as if they watched. In the background a man in his early forties hastily called for the check as his wife got the kids together. Off by the window three young girls snickered to themselves not even trying to hide their eavesdropping. Two young men, obviously on a double date, looked uncomfortable while their girlfriends exchanged curious looks. A woman in his late twenty sitting by himself near the window raised her glass to the couple and nodded. Others might have noticed but their evenings moved on as if their show of affection meant little. 

Looking into Blaine’s heavenly eyes, Kurt pronounced, “I love you too much to care.”

“Oh, you care.” One of Blaine’s eyebrows went up. 

“Yeah I do.” Sitting up straight, Kurt whispered. “I think we got a win win on our hands.”

Picking up his glass, Blaine held it up. “A win win.”

Lightly touching his goblet to Blaine’s, Kurt smiled. “As you told me once, we’ve both won.”

“Yes we did and I don’t want to go back.” Blaine’s eyes smiled at his husband and then he took a sip. “Do you remember Bogart’s? It was the nicest place I could afford at the time and I so desparately wanted to woo you.”

Making a face Kurt commented, “Woo me?”

“You know, impress, romance, and make you feel loved.”

“Yeah and the waiter had a great butt.”

“Yes, he did but . . .”

“Blaine, yes, the eyes might wander but I wanted only one thing at the time and the damned table got in the way.”

“I loved playing that little game. Are we playing now?”

“No.”

“You want to play?”

“Later.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” Blaine took a sip of his drink. “Are we going out dancing afterword?”

“We could go to Scandals if you want.”

“I think I would rather spend the time exploring.” Suddenly smiling Blaine chuckled. 

Sitting up straight, Kurt whispered, “What?”

“Scandals is fun but a little old. Thank god New York has a place where us twinks can go.”

“Twenty one is too far away.”

“You’re closer than I am.”

“Listen to you elders then.” Kurt wiggle a finger in front of Blaine’s nose.

Licking the errand digit, Blaine grinned and then said, “Pat and Stan where in good form that night. They kind of remind me of us when I was a junior. How old where they anyhow?”

“Fifteen or sixteen?” Kurt frowned. “Pat had a birthday since then.”

“How did you meet them, at one of those drag parties?”

“Are you saying I was a queen?” Kurt placed his free hand on his chest feigning indignity.

Flustered by the comment, Blaine blinked and then waved his hands in front of him. “No, no.”

A mischievous smile spread Kurt’s lips. “Oh, my dear Blaine, you will always be my king and I’ll be your Goldie, but never a queen.”

Both men laughed and then Blaine quietly said, “We danced until the sun came up.”

“And we did other things until the sun went down.”

“I wish Rachel would have been quieter that evening. I really needed some sleep.”

“Yelling at her did not help.”

“No, but it allowed me to get an hours sleep before the place got invaded. I had no idea she knew so many people.”

“There’s a party network at NYADA. She just called one eight hundred lets get drunk.”

“I never pictured her as being . . . vengeful.”

“She just does not like being yelled at.” Kurt made a face. “Mind you, you weren’t around for Fanny. Now that was a full blown diva pain in the butt.”

One eyebrow going up and Blaine impishly grinned. “I was so tired it all went to my head.”

Giggling Kurt gave his husband a ‘really’ look and then proudly pointed out, “You’re easy on women when you are drunk.”

“Me?” Blaine sat back with a surprised look on his face even though he remembered Rachel’s party, the debacle at Scandals and long evenings during two painful breakups. He liked the taste and the effect of booze but then he did not like the changes it made in him. Having lost his inhibitions several times for different reasons, Blaine realized he could do something terribly stupid when drunk. “What about you the second weekend I came to visit. I haven’t heard you throw up like that since you had the flu at Dalton.”

Lips pressed tightly together, Kurt shook his head and then he looked up to see the thirty-something waiter approaching with to steaming plates. Placing them on the table, the short haired blond man picked up the soup bowls and spun around without at much as a word. Narrow eyes provided proof of Kurt’s irritation.

“Don’t sweat it, darling,” Blaine patted his husband’s hand. “We’re headed for somewhere where we can hold hands walking down the street and kiss in the park.”

“I can’t wait to get our lives started.” Kurt shone and then glanced down at the chicken dish with a melody of vegetable and potato. Blaine asked for steak.

“We’re not going to live at the loft are we?”

“At least until we find a place we can afford.”

“I’ll need to find a job and then looked at NYU.”

“You could go back to NYADA with me.”

Blaine’s lips pressed from side to side as he cut into his meat. With a sigh he said, “I can try but I don’t know it they would want me back.”

“Rachel’s going to try.” Kurt gave his husband sympathetic look and then popped some chicken into his mouth. 

“For you, I’ll give it a try but fewer classed together.” Blaine gazed at the steak stuck to his fork. “I don’t want to crowd you.”

“We’re walking into the sunlight together and I want to be greedy.” An evil grin spread Kurt’s lips and then he glanced toward the colourful sky.


	19. A Get Away - Part 1

The trip to Provincetown became a wonderful mix of sleeping on planes and playful banter between two excited newlyweds. Nothing could ruin their mood, not even a mad rush to catch their connection in New York. They watched the narrow street of Provincetown go by with wide eyes as their taxi worked its way toward their destination. Arrayed about them stood the marvels of one of North America’s premiere gay playgrounds and it excited them both. Even on a chilly Atlantic afternoon, the abundance of fine male specimens spoke loudly of acceptance.

Bright eyed and full of the bliss from their surprise nuptials, two young men walked up to the gate and stopped. Before them stood a modest house of old world charm modernized to suit the times. Modern windows glistened in the sun and the building shown with bright paint. The curving walkway led through a well-kept garden showing the first signs marking the change of seasons. The shock at the door wiped away any sense of euphoria either man enjoyed. The man with greying graying temples and a full beard raised an eyebrow as he turned the contents of the envelope over in his hand.

Blue turned hazel as stunned eyes locked on each other. A sense of dread raced up Blaine’s back and he found himself squeezing Kurt’s hand tightly.

With an odd look on his face them man at do door drew in a deep breath. Eyes moving between the two young men in front of him, he said, “Unfortunately, I know nothing of this and Andrew is in Miami.”

Kurt’s face fell and Blaine bit his upper lip and then sighed. Looking to his husband, Blaine swallowed and then turned his attention back to Andrew’s partner Aaron. With flushed skin he said in a soft tone, “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

The hand in encompassed by Blaine’s shook and a head topped with gelled down curls fell. Closing his eyes for a second, Blaine shrugged and then looked up at Aaron. Picking up his bag, he tugged on his lover’s hand to get him to turn about. Slowly two dejected young men walked toward the street as Blaine gently stroking Kurt’s hand. He knew his husband well enough to know they shared the same pain. Kurt caught his breath in little spurts as if he fought with deep emotion and in response Blaine bumped shoulders into him in a futile act of reassurance. Tears well up the first time he heard Kurt sniffle. The anger rolling through his chest did not go as far as his disappointment knew his adoring husband felt. An awful sinking sensation deep in the pit of his stomach. Biting his lip all he desperately wanted draw Kurt into a hug and let their disappointment flow.

Just beyond the gate, Kurt suddenly turned and grabbed onto Blaine. His beautiful face sagging from the sorrow wallowing in his heart as he buried his head into his husband’s shoulder allowing a sob to escape his lips. Water dripping from his eyes, Blaine leaned his head against his distraught husband holding him tight.

“Hey,” Aaron called as they reached the gate.

The two lovers turned about to see Aaron standing in the threshold with furrowed brow and a frown.

With his hand, Aaron suggested the two of come back. “Let me call Andrew.”

Tried to keep his feelings in check, Kurt let his husband go. With a trail of moisture running down his cheek, he said in a low voice. “Thank you but we can find a bed and breakfast or something.”

“Come, on boys, I can see this means a lot to you.” Aaron’s expression softened. “Weekends are busy here and you may have trouble finding a place. I don’t know much about this Sue Sylvester but Andrew had spoken of her from time to time. He tells me she can be a bit of a character.”

“That’s an understatement,” Kurt growled.

Giving his husband a look, Blaine added, “Thank you, Aaron but you don’t need to.”

“Stop arguing with me and get in here.” Aaron’s voice hardened as waved them to the door. “This won’t take long.”

Looking to each other, they both smiled and walked up to the door. At the stoop, Blaine again said, “Thank you, but you don’t have to.”

“Leave you bags by the door and we can go into the living room.” Aaron stepped aside and beckoned them to step in. “That invitation said you had just gotten married.”

“Last weekend and it’s a bit of a story,” Blaine replies with a weak smile. Two soft shoulder bags came to rest on top of one another against the wall. Taking off their shoes Kurt and Blaine padded into the delightfully bright living room filled with leather seating and comfortable pillows. Sitting straight backed and side by side on the couch they waited.

“Let me make a call.” Aaron smiled at his two young guests taking the envelope before passing through the arch into the dining room.

Watching the older man leave, Blaine let out a heavy sigh and collapsed in against Kurt. Wanting to swear, his body shook with disappointment and anger. In a silent voice he said, “How could we have been so stupid to trust Sue.”

Folding an arm about his husband, Kurt understood all too well but wanted to keep it upbeat. “She got us to the altar.”

“By hook and crook.” A tear glistened in Blaine’s eyes. “I was really looking forward to this.”

“So was I but I guess we have better start looking for somewhere to sleep.” Kurt pulled his cell out of his pocket and logged in the internet. “We can see if there is a room available at the Eight Dryer?”

“It will be all full up,” Aaron called from beyond the dining room. “They’re getting Andrew for me.”

“Thanks, Aaron,” Blaine responded and then turned to Kurt. “What are we going to do?”

“Wonder if they have a Y here?” Kurt swiped down the pages of Provincetown accommodations.

“Not exactly the place I wanted to spend my honeymoon,” Blaine pouted and then looked to the door Aaron had passed through where host talked to someone explaining the circumstances.

“I’m just happy we get to enjoy a honeymoon.”

“Me too, but not like this.”

“When we get back to Lima I going to have words with her.”

“Let’s not get all fatalistic just yet, dear.”

Flopping back on the plush couch, Kurt rolled his eyes and the looked down at the rug. Pulling Blaine closer he rested his hand on his husband’s shoulder feeling awful.

Leaning in Blaine stroked Kurt’s hand and looked toward the dining room beyond the door. Aaron paced back and forth in the kitchen on the far side with a phone to his ear. An animated hand indicated the conversation had some heat to it.

“Land’s End has a room available.” Kurt perked up and then his face fell. “But it’ll break the bank.”

“We’re not exactly in the off-season.” Blaine mumbled. “And we really do not have much of a choice.”

“We can phone my dad.”

“Our parents have forked out enough to stretch this to a full week.”

“I now . . .”

“Don’t cry, my sweet.”

“Speak for yourself, I see the water in your eyes.”

“I feel so . . . so . . . I don’t know . . . disappointed.”

“Embarrassed fits”

Movement in the kitchen caught Blaine’s attention where Aaron continued to pace. Suddenly he turned toward the dining room headed in their direction. Two young men sat up straight and clasped their hands together watching with anticipation pounding in their chests.

“Good new, you can have the cabana house.” Aaron said in an edge to his voice. “The bad news is, you will have to be out by four on Sunday. I’m going to Miami to meet Andrew who is not pleased.”

Holding one hand up, Blaine apologized, “We do not want to cause trouble. We found a room at the Land’s End.”

Shaking his head, Aaron smiled, a charming smile. “No, please, Andrew and I would like you to stay. He’s a bit pissed off, but it has nothing to do with you.”

“Sue?” the boys said together.

Nodding, Aaron went on, “He is kind of busy but he would like to meet the two of you to offer his congratulations. He’s going to Skype in about six so you might as well come for dinner. Now let’s show you the cabana house. It’s a little small but it’s nice.”

Aaron turned out to be a marvelous cook and a delight considering their introduction. Blaine and Kurt offered to help but he would not hear anything about it. He asked all sorts of questions while they waited for his partner to call in. When Andrew finally popped onto the screen the three of them sat at the table enjoying a fresh salad with chicken and fixing to follow. Aaron introduced them and being a no-nonsense kind of person, Andrew asked several pointed questions. Over the next three hours the boys enjoyed a comical glimpse of a conservative life both might disagree with. It soon became evident he did not have a good opinion of Madam Sylvester. Laughing at the rambunctious antics of their former teacher and royal pain in the butt, time flew by. The boys helped Aaron clean up with Andrew multitasking on the other end while chatting.

As the sun began to sink into the west, the boys excused themselves allowing Aaron to have his life back. Flopping down on a queen-sized bed with a foot and a few inches around it to maneuver, they looked at one another for the longest time happily smiling.

Lying there nose to nose like they had the first time they slept together the happiness they felt drove the anguish they suffered a few hours ago away. Right hand in left the slowly fell asleep. The chill roused them after midnight when they curled up under the duvet kissing for a while before drifting off again. When the sun poked through the curtains, the boys rose in a very intimate manner and tender love making took over. In the middle of the morning they ran into Aaron puttering about in the yard clipping foliage. Stopping to chat for a few moments, the two walked away hand in hand and began a new adventure. A little over two hours later they returned needing to relieve a very serious itch. At nightfall they lounged on the bed naked and in each other’s arms happily sated.

Sunday morning and nothing could be better than lying in bed with his newly minted husband. Long rays of sunshine passed through the beveled panes and splashed across the bed. Feet scrunched up as Blaine stretched even though the arms draped across his chest held him down. Smiling a husband did not care as dreamy hazel eyes stared at the tuft of messy hair below the chin. Hope filled his heart because everything about Kurt matched the word perfect.

Enjoying the sensation of the love of his life wrapped around him, one of Blaine’s hands resting on a naked back and the other rested next to an ear. The telltale signs of Kurt waking in the morning amused him. Smiling at the way his lover twitched in that adorable way and the flexing of his nibble fingers, a mesmerized lover did not want it to end.

Legs flexed releasing the morning stiffness and then Kurt failed to stifle a yawn. Slowly a finger made gentle circles against the hair of Blaine’s thigh. “Good morning, my love.”

Running a hand through the waves of untidy hair, Blaine whispered, “Happy beginning to the day to you as well, my darling husband.”

“I can get used to being called darling.”

“And many other words of endearment.”

“No, just two. Darling when you are hopelessly taken with me and Kurt for those mundane times.”

“You’ve been watching Jane Austin again.”

“Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era.”

“Back then we would not be doing this.”

“Oh, right, I take that back.”

Laughing, Blaine cradled his waking husband in his arms.

“I am still in awe of all this,” Kurt said in a soft sleepy voice. Head resting on his husband's chest enjoyed the heat and the sound of a steady heartbeat.

“It has been wonderful but it all ends today.”

“Only this one little part of a bigger picture. I’m sure the hotel will be just as good.”

“We should have gotten that bed and breakfast by the beach leaving Aaron alone. He’s been nice but I can’t help but feel we have intruded.”

“And pay three hundred dollars a night, forget it, but . . .”

“But?”

“This butt,” Kurt playfully reached down between his lover’s legs and pinched a cheek.

A huge smile bloomed on Blaine’s face as he squirmed and began to wrestle with darling Kurt. Rolling over each other Kurt eventually ended up on top pinning his grinning husband to the bed. Leaning in and kissing the man he adored.

Grinning from ear to ear, Blaine softly said, “All care about it being with you.”

“You so full of it.” Kurt licked the tip of Blaine’s nose.

Giggling and turning his head, Blaine hugged Kurt with all his strength.

Making a face, Kurt snuggled against Blaine and lightly traced images in the region just above Blaine pubic hair. Fine stands of hair poked up from the skin his husband hand not shaved his torso since arriving. The charming man with a mass of curls on his head liked himself smooth above the waste and Kurt did not want to argue about it. Occasionally Blaine let himself go and the sight made Kurt hot all over.

Blaine felt Kurt smile against his rising stomach. Absently stroking the side of his husband’s face he felt the five o’clock shadow growing there. In a soft tone, Blaine said, “I wonder what it cost Sue . . .”

“Right now I really don’t care about Sue.” Kurt cut his husband off.

Pouting, Blaine regretted his choice of words. “We need to pick Aaron up a little something this afternoon to say thanks before we switch over to the hotel.”

“There’s something called a tea dance going on at on down by the beach.”

“What does that have to do with picking Aaron up something?”

“Nothing but it might be fun.”

“I’m going to be greedy and keep you all to myself and not share with a bunch of horny men who will gobble you up like a delectable dessert.”

“I’d rather have you gobble me up.”

“Is there anything left down there?”

“We can find out.”

“We've been in this bed for almost a day and a half now minus a short walk to the store last night.”

“Yeah, warming up was interesting.”

“You're always fun in the sack.”

“Ask me again in twenty years but, yes, I'm a little saddle soar. We’ve barely seen anything, and your fine butt hair doesn’t count.” Kurt shifted so he could stare into his husband's eyes and then he let out a long sigh. “We’re intruding.”

“He’s been exceptional,” Blaine stated drawing his fingers lightly across Kurt’s bicep.

Placing a hand firmly on Blaine’s stomach, Kurt pushed himself to an upright position while his husband expelled a puff of air. Smiling at his sweet husband, Kurt said, “Let’s make a day of it and be stupid lovey dovey.”

“Right. We clean up and walk into town and find somewhere for breakfast and then see where our feet will take us.”

“Then we can ship over to the hotel for the rest of the week.”

“We need to find something for our parents to say thanks.”

“I think they’re happy enough to see us together at last.”

“Your dad certainly is. My dad well I don’t think he will ever come around.”

Leaning closer, Kurt kissed his husband. “Time heals all wounds, my dear.”

“But it doesn’t get us in the shower any quicker.” Blaine returned the kiss and then fondly smiled.

Rolling to the edge of the bed, Kurt stared out the windows at the glistening bay and then suddenly jumped to his feet. Trotting over to the bedroom door, he paused and then held his hand out. Slipping from the bed with a grin, Blaine sauntered over with a sexy walk taking the hand. Just over an hour later, two newlyweds stepped out into the wild garden surrounded the cabana house holding hands. After locking the door, they looked around and then strolled down the path toward the gate at the edge of the road.

Turning right onto the road they swung their arms and bumped shoulders now and then as they walked down the street. The wind off the ocean had a chill to it forcing Blaine to wear a jacket and Kurt one of his trendy sweaters. Most of Provincetown slept off the hanger over from the night before but that did not prevent the occasional car from forcing them comfortably closer to each other.

Turning a corner onto an avenue flanked by brightly colored houses surrounded by fences and hedges, Kurt pulled Blaine’s hand up to his lips and set moist lips on chilled skin. In turn Blaine playfully nudged his lover and started to sing.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6vqtFk98NA)

_There are places I'll remember_   
_All my life, though some have changed_   
_Some for ever not for better_   
_Some have gone and some remain_

An affectionate smile stretched Kurt’s cheeks as an image of Blaine sitting on stool with other juniors from the New Directions. With graduation only days away, his beautiful boyfriend looked sad as those shining hazel eyed remained locked on blue. Today the meaning of the words grew stronger bringing a tear to his eye.

_All these places have their moments_   
_With lovers and friends I still can recall_   
_Some are dead and some are living_   
_In my life I've loved them all_

_But of all these friends and lovers_   
_There is no one compares with you_   
_And these memories lose their meaning_   
_When I think of love as something new_

A man yelled down at two young lovebirds from a second story window telling them to keep it down. Chuckling, they jogged along singing until the man’s shrill voice vanished into the distance.

_Though I know I'll never lose affection_   
_For people and things that went before_   
_I know I'll often stop and think about them_   
_In my life, I love you more_

_Though I know I'll never lose affection_   
_For people and things that went before_   
_I know I'll often stop and think about them_   
_In my life I love you more_   
_In my life I love you more_

Drawing Blaine around a street corner, Kurt drew him into a warm hug. Locking lips they held onto each other and then started to laugh. Taking Blaine’s right hand, Kurt pulled him down the street at a half jog laughing all the way.

A block later they pulled and wrapped their arms about each other again. Holding on a little bit longer than expected Blaine knew something bothered his spouse. With the first hint Kurt started to relax, he softly asked, “What is it, my love?”

Pulling back so he could see into his husband’s gorgeous eyes, Kurt said, “I remember your face as if it were yesterday but you sang that for Finn.”

Stroking Kurt’s face, a young man with gelled down curly hair pulled the man he loved close again. “I sang it for both of you. I think you knew where my heart was.”

“Yes, I did.” Kurt lowered his head.

Resting a hand on his husband’s cheek, Blaine gently lifted Kurt’s head. In a low voice he apologized,  
“I didn’t mean to stir up old pain.”

“No, no. It’s a good memory and one I want to cherish all my life.” Kurt kissed Blaine on the cheek. “Finn left a mark on all of us.”

Starting to walk again, Blaine wrapped his right arm about Kurt’s left he started to walk again. “That he did.”

“I felt him the day we were wed. He never gave up on us and would tell me how stupid I had been. Before he died he told me never to give up on you, Blaine.”

“I wish he had been alive to see that day.”

“So, do I.”

“The look on his face would have been priceless. I walked down the aisle behind you and I could see the everyone’s expressions. Most looked confused but then what was about to happen dawned on them. It was humorous.”

“You looked so . . . sexy on Santana’s arm. My heart beat in my throat and I just wanted to jump for joy and get it over with so I could kiss you.”

“I love you, my Kurt and remember when we are parted my heart will always be yours.”

“I don’t want to be parted like that again.”

“Neither do I.”

“What about this place,” Kurt tugged on Blaine to get him to stop. They stood before a building which looked as if it could have been build in the early nineteen hundreds. Painted pale white-yellow on the second floor and gray at street level, a glassed display held a menu.

Blaine stepped closer to the menu. “Tin Pan Alley? Aaron said the food is great?”

“Opens in an hour and forty five minutes.”

“We can take a walk out on the pier, do a little shopping and come back.”

“Okay but I need a coffee.”

Two hours later Blaine dropped three bags on the bench as he slid down onto the soft padding. Pulling out the chair on the other side of the table Kurt sat and place two bags to the floor. Holding is hand out Blaine signaled he should hand them over. Passing them to his husband, Kurt rubbed a finger across Blaine’s skin with a smile.

The interior of the restaurant did not match the old exterior. Airy, long and narrow, a banquette ran down one wall with evenly spaced tables matched with a single chair. Tables set for two made a lane down the center and booths for four lined the other wall. Numerous skylights allowed the sun to rain down through the baby blue ceiling held up by stark white truces. Stairs went up to a second floor and at the back of the building a bar and patio looked through the tall grasses toward the water.

A tall, slender man wearing an apron and tight white t-shirt sporting prominent stomach muscles and a firm chest walked up to them with a bright smile. In his mid-twenties his rugged good looks would have pleased most people but the table’s occupants had eyes only for each other. The boys ordered pops and then the waiter mentioned no one cheeked identifications. Looking at one another they ordered a bottle of sparkling wine. Impressed, the server nodded and trotted off. Later Kurt added spicy tuna tartare to share followed by clam chowder and a bacon, lettuce, avocado and tomato sandwich. Blaine settled for a Tuscan salad and turkey meatloaf.

Holding hands over the table the talked and watched the place fill up. Some sat up front but a great multitude vanished into the back where the volume slowly rose. Unconcerned by the growing lunch crowd, two lovebirds spoke in low tones about their hopes and dreams. Soup and salad came and went followed by the main course. Stopping to top up their glasses the waiter complimented them on their bright new wedding rings.

“Excuse me,” a man who looked to be about fifty sitting alone at the table beside them interrupted. Wearing a bright red sweater with buttons and a collar rolled up at the back of his neck and crisp slacks, two large, sparkling rings adorned each hand. “Did I hear it right, you two just got married?”

“Yes,” Blaine grinned at the gentleman while rubbing Kurt’s fingers.

“Congratulations.” He raised his glass of deep red wine with a large, charming smile.

Picking up their glasses, Kurt and Blaine nodded and said at the same time, “Thank you.”

“It’s fantastic to finally have the right.” The older man paused and looked at them a little bit more closely. “You two were singing this morning on the street.”

Two young men exchanged glances.

Shaking his head, the gentleman said, “I was not the one who yelled at you. He has the room beside mine. The boorish man drinks too much.”

Relieved, Blaine and Kurt smiled. “Yes, that was us.”

“That was a pleasant way to wake this morning other than the jerk beside me,” the older man added and then his expression changed and he offered a hand. “Oh, how rude of me, I’m Charles Sinclair.”


	20. A Get Away - Part 2

“Would you like to dance?” a shorter, stocky man in his mid-twenties yelled over the music at Kurt. Dark rimmed glasses rested on the bridge of his nose obscuring gray-blue eyes and heavy dark brown brows. Tight jeans left little to the imagination and his dark brown polo shirt revealed an athletic form. Having approached from the side, he leered over the rim of his glasses.

Shocked by the abrupt invitation and the spittle on his cheek, Kurt glanced to Blaine sitting next him. Eyebrows going up, he looked at his husband with a ‘I did nothing’ expression. Lethargic from a good dinner one sat on a stool and the other leaned against a narrow counter watching the dance floor. For the past two days they had been exploring Provincetown by day but this evening they decided to take in the nightlife.

Tilting his head to one side, Blaine returned a sideways grin and shifted the leg which rubbed against the back of Kurt’s calf. Before the could say anything, the interloper grabbed Kurt by the arm and pulled him toward the dance floor a few feet away. Stunned by the forwardness of the man, Kurt tried to free himself from a firm grip as he stumbled onto the crowded dance floor.

Pushing himself off the stool, Blaine took a step but stopped when a hand fell on his shoulder pulling him around. Surprised, he opened and closed the eyes and then looked up at the six foot something tall, skinny man towering over him. Tanned and handsome, the stranger stared at Blaine with large green eyes. Wearing a formfitting tank top, taunt muscles glistened under the light blaring down from overhead.

“Excuse me?” Blaine faltered on his words and then his face hardened. Hazel eyes darted about as he tried to back way and turn at the same time. In an instant a strange strangling sensation rose in his chest. What happened to Kurt?

Grasping Blaine’s other shoulder with his free hand, the fellow in his late twenties boldly stated, “My name is Scott and you are?”

Tossing the hand from his shoulder, Blaine tried to maneuver around Scott. A hand noisily struck the counter trapping the shorter man in the corner. Smugly ogling Blaine, the blond hair cut short on the sides and spiked up on top shuffled closer. Standing as all a he could, Blaine stared up at the overly forward man, “Do you mind?”

Staring with an arrogant smile, Scott licked his lips and leaned closer while continuing to block any avenue of escape. The smell of alcohol assaulted Blaine making him pull away. “I’ll buy you a drink and we can get to know each other?”

More than a little upset, Blaine gazed past the taller man into the crowded dance searching for Kurt. Over a hundred bodies pranced under the flashing lights to the loud music. Some wore pants and shirts or sweaters while others dressed as if the chill air blowing off the Atlantic did not make a difference. Moving from side to side, the tall man blocked Blaine’s every move. Growing angrier with every minute his heart pounded wildly in his chest.

“My you’re a feisty one,” Scott stepped into Blaine as his fingers lightly played down the exposed skin of a bare forearm.

Falling back against the wall, Blaine growled, “If you would excuse me I’m going to find my husband.”

Laughing as if he had not heard, Scott said, “Now what about that drink and then we can slip off to somewhere a little quieter.”

Red faced, Blaine thrust two hands into Scott’s chest forcing him to step back and then moved to get around him. Grabbing an arm, the tall blond tugged at Blaine and the smaller man lost his balance. Tumbling against the counter Scott pressed his advantage.

“Why don’t you just fuck off and get out of my way!” Blaine growled at him as he shoved him again with a balled-up fist. People around them turned to look.

Scott straightened up to his full height. “Woo, woo, all I wanted to do was to buy you a drink?”

“I know what you want and you’re not getting it from me.” Blaine tried to push by him again.

“Fuck, you’re a rude little sh . . .” Scott shoved his palm into Blaine chest and then abruptly jumped when a hand fell on his arm from behind.

Caught off guard, Blaine took advantage of the interruption and squirmed out of the corner and away from the interloper. Facing the wall, he heard Scott’s voice rose an octave but found himself being called down by a deeper tone. A few choice words echoed in Blaine’s ears, but he did not care as he made escape. Turning on one heel toward the dance floor worried keys scanned the mass of humanity for signs of his husband.

Suddenly, spread fingers pushed into the space between Blaine’s shoulder blades maneuvering him away. Muscles tensing, he spun around ready to let Scott have it and pulled up short. A little bit confused, Blaine’s eyes darted around. Scott scowled at him over an intervening shoulder as the tall blond swore and waved his arms around but made no effort to pursue. Surprised, Blaine exclaimed, “Charles!”

The man the young couple met two days ago smiled and the yelled over the music, “Now that you’re free of that creature, lets wade into this mess and find your husband.”

Following the older man, hazel eyes darting all about for any sign of his darling Kurt. Sweaty flesh from shirtless Adonis’s pressed in on him as he wormed into the crowd. No one cared that the man with the gelled down hair became a little more frantic with every passing second. Lost in the music and helped along by too much drink or narcotics, the mass of maleness bouncing up all about blocking Blaine’s view. Calling out for Kurt did no good because of he volume pounding into his ears. At points Blaine rose up onto his toes attempting to get a better view. Becoming lost within his fears, minutes felt like hours.

The pressure of a hand on his shoulder caused Blaine to jump. Whirling around he expected Scott but found Charles pointed in the opposite direction. Squishing between two rather handsome shirtless men with huge chests and eight packs Blaine moved through the crowd until someone crashed into him from his blind side. Arms enveloped him and then lips pressed against his face followed by a familiar scent. Heart rising into his chest, he pulled the man he loved into a tight hug. A head fell on his shoulder making him feel safe and content.

Gripping both men on the shoulder, Charles leaned in and yelled, “Come on, let's leave this den of iniquity.”

Glancing up, Kurt’s brow pushed up when he noticed Charles hovering over him. Blue orbs went to Blaine where he saw that look of his husband’s face. Hazel eyes squinted and went to Charles and then Kurt suddenly smiled.

Not willing to let Kurt go again, Blaine slipped his right hand into Kurt’s left and tugged him through the masses. When they finally escaped the crush, Kurt wrapped an arm over Blaine’s shoulder pulled him close. Clasping hands, Blaine leaned against his husband’s cheek with a loving smile.

 

“You alright?” Kurt gently asked Blaine as he held on for dear life.

“I am, now.” Stroking Kurt’s back, Blaine felt his lover’s relief. “I was so worried.”

“So was I.” Kurt stopped when he finally noticed Charles. He gave the older man a curious look.

Raising his voice over the music, Charles suggested, “Come on, time to leave.”

Clutching each other, Kurt and Blaine stopped to pick up their jackets. Stepping out into the street, cold sea air blasted them in the face invigorating the three of them. People walked up and down the strip between the various bars and restaurants in groups and singles. Two lusty men leaned up against the side of the building across the street kissing while three women ran by laughing at the top of their lungs. A sixty-year old couple strolled by holding hand and speaking softly to each other.

Turning to the right, Blaine took a few steps and then drew Kurt into his arms planting a firm kiss on his lips as if he marked his lover. Without hesitation, Kurt threw himself into the embrace and his racing heart synchronized with his husbands. Withdrawing, he rested his head on Blaine’s and let out a soft sigh.

“I’m here, my love,” Blaine softly purred as he held the dear man as if weeks had passed since they last saw each other.

“What the hell was . . .” Kurt bite his tongue and sighed again. Squeezing his lover tighter, he found solace in the comfort of those adoring hazel eyes.

“Come on, boys, lets go find a place to grab a drink,” Charles tapped both on the shoulder. “The Shipwreck is a taxi ride away. I’ll buy.”

Quickly kissing his husband again, Blaine looked to Charles. “Thank you for coming to my . . . our rescue.”

Kurt gave Blaine a fondly odd look.

Shaking his head, Charles began to walk. “I don’t know if things are better now with all the freedoms us queers have. We had our problems back in my day. We had to watch out for the police and worse but the new generations, I don’t know.”

“Was he high or something?” Blaine asked as an image of Kurt lying in the hospital popped into his mind. Pressing in on his partner, he walked so close to his lover their shoulders rubbed.

Still a little spooked Kurt commented, “The guy who dragged me off was all over me but then he kept looking back to the corner.”

“They’re playing the game,” Charles stated with a hard edge to his tone.

“Game?” Two lovers said at the same time.

Grinning, Charles rolled his neck. “The idea is to find an obvious couple and try and break them up.”

“That’s sick,” Kurt blurt up as he glanced at Blaine securely beside him.

Chuckling, Charles added, “They were probably a couple themselves.”

“Why would they want to do that?” Blaine asked in all innocence. New to the greater gay community, he had no idea what dirty tricks people played.

“Did either of you drink anything they may have offered you or drank from you own drinks?” Charles asked with an oddly concerned tone to his voice.

Glancing at each other, Kurt and Blaine shook there heads not really understanding why Charles would have asked.

Letting out a sigh, Charles smiled. “Good. There are all sorts of drugs out there that can be used to get people into unwanted situations.”

Two young men stopped in their tracks and stared at Charles. Of course, they had heard of the date rape drug and who had not, but the idea had never crossed their minds. The idea sent a chill up Blaine’s back and his fingers tightened about Kurt’s. A strange feeling rose in the pit of his stomach up into his chest resulting in a shudder. He felt sick.

Kurt felt the quivering of his husband’s hand. Gripping it harder, he rubbed the back of Blaine’s hand.

“Many of the men who come here are takers and users believing in their right to have whatever or whoever they want.” Charles directed his two young companions down across the street to the other side. Raising his hand, he waved down a passing taxi.

Opening the back door, Blaine said innocently asked Charles, “Surely, not all?”

Arm resting upon the time of the front door, Charles frowned. “To be fair, the five percent give us nice guys a bad name.”

A dozen minutes later the three of them walked into the Shipwreck finding a bright cheery establishment with a slight nautical theme. Cozy leather chairs rested in groups about a central room with a large fire place faced by glistened polished stone tiles. Passing through to the back they entered a courtyard with several round tables surrounded by artfully curving chairs of a modern design. Flames flickered from braziers sitting in the middle of the tables producing a homey glow on the walls and canopy overhead. Water dripped down the three-tiered fountains in the center of the patio.

Hands swaying as the young couple strolled through the passed through the building Blaine felt apprehensive. Hazel eyed darted here and there taking in the room in one wide sweep. Most of the patrons did not even notice their passage and those that did gave them cheery smiles and even a nod. Simmering anger faded into the soft background music.

Charles made a b-line for the large, half wicker ball with a seat set into it. Dropping himself into the loveseat next to it, he let out a sigh and put his head back.

Lowering themselves onto to cushions in the middle of the ball, Kurt leaned into Blaine for the sack of doing so. While they both liked to shack their asses, they enjoyed the atmosphere of a quieter location offered. Yes, they went out in New York, but usually with a crowd. When they did go out as a couple the usually went to a piano or karaoke bar.

Taking Blaine’s right hand in his, Kurt glanced at their savior and smiled. “Thank you, Charles.”

“Yes, thank you,” Blaine’s eyes rolled up toward Kurt and then over to Charles.

“You’re most welcome.” The older gentleman grinned and even blushed. Running his hand through his graying hair he slowly stood. “I’m going to get a glass of wine. You want anything?”

Kurt looked at Blaine. “A couple of cokes,”

Noting Charles’ look, Blaine said in a low voice, “We’re not exactly legal yet.”

Rolling his head Charles made an odd face and then turned toward the bar.

“I’m so happy he showed up.” Blaine said to his lover with a heavily emotional voice. “That fucker, would . . .”

“Shh-h-h-h, my love.” Kurt snuggled up closer to the man he loved. Blaine rarely used such words unless his blood boiled.

Shaking his head, Blaine drew in a deep breath and let it out. “What happened to you.”

“That little guy . . .” Kurt glanced at his adorably shorter husband who appeared unbothered by the words. “He dragged me out there and this other guy kept me for getting back to you. I yelled at them, but it was too loud, and they just kept stepping in my way.”

Kissing two fingers, he held Blaine said in a soft voice, “But you found me in all those men.”

“I will always find you.” Kurt pulled the hand holding his to his lips and kissed it. “You’re my soul mate Blaine and we will always know where each other are.”

Resting Kurt’s hand on his lap, Blaine placed his free hand on it. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Kurt let his forehead rest against his husband’s and their eyes met.

For the rest of his life he would remember the knotted sensation in the pit of his stomach when the panic set it. Then he felt the endearing warmth of having those arms wrap about him ending the muddle. The tension exploded from the top of his head like a cork fling out of a shaken bottle of sparkling water leaving him feeling unbearably happy. Tenderness pressed into his skin and in that instant, he knew his husband felt the same as he did.

Looking to those blue orbs, Blaine saw a life of comfort only true love could bring. Closing his eyes, his head came to rest against Kurt’s. Gently breathing the exhaust from Kurt’s inhales became one with his. From the first time Blaine took Kurt’s hand in his, the manner in which their pulses matched amazed him. Until this moment, Blaine had not really given it much thought.

“You two are so cute,” Charles said after placing a bottle and three glasses on the table. Plunked his rump down on the loveseat he handed a goblet to each of the young men. With a smile he said, “I thought you would like something a little stronger than coke.”

Having lost track of time, Kurt blinked and sat up straight. Looking to Charles he said, “You didn’t need to.”

“Oh yes, I did. I dislike drinking alone.” Shimmering yellow-white liquid spilled into the three glasses as he poured. “I don’t want that . . . I hate these words.”

“Asshole?” Blaine spitefully injected.

“Yes that.” Charles handed each of them a glass. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Charles, you don’t have to apologize.” Blaine objected holding the glass in his hand.

“No, perhaps not, but I feel I must.” The older man held his glass up. “To the innocence of young love.”

Glancing at each other, the boys raised their glass and said at the same time, “To love.”

Three wineglasses clinked together as two young men and one who could be their father toasted. Leaning back to nurse his drink, Charles knew recent events rattled the two lads and changing the subject seemed like a wise option. “The other day you commented you both come from Ohio, but you now live in New York?”

“I’ve been living in New York for about a year now.” Kurt affectionately looked to Blaine with a small smirk. “We have a few things we need to do there but when it’s all done Blaine’s coming to the Big Apple.”

Resting his glass on his knee, Charles quietly asked, “You going to school or just working?”

“A little of both. New York isn’t cheap,” Blaine frowned. He wanted so much out of life and the truth of New York whittled away at the dream.

“I’m in NYADA and Blaine is going to reapply. We’re both taking acting classes?” Kurt happily responded and then he patted Blaine on the knee. “This man here is marvelous. He’s a natural.”

Blaine blushed and ducked his head, then he suddenly took his husband’s face with one hand and soundly kissed him. When they parted, Kurt beamed.

Charles sighed. “I miss what you to have.”

Turning toward the older man, Kurt looked puzzled.

Returning the gaze, Charles replied in a tone holding a hint of sadness. “Steven, died in ninety-one of AIDS.”

“Oh my?” Kurt did not know how to reply though his mind went to his mother and Finn.

“We’re sorry, Charles.” Blaine apologized. While everyone knew of AIDS, neither he nor Kurt knew of anyone who lived with or died of the infliction.

“No, don’t be sorry.” A wistful grin stretched Charles’ lips. “Steven and I were not exactly school sweethearts like the two of you, but we met here when I was twenty-one. In fact, it would have been our anniversary yesterday.”

Suddenly uncomfortable, Blaine stated, “Maybe we should talk about something else.”

Grinning at the two young men snuggled up against each other, Charles shook his head. “I come here at this time every year to remember the love of my life. Steven was eight years my senior. It was love at first sight and I have never loved like that since. We met down on the beach one summer afternoon. I was on break from university and he, was just playing the field. He picked me up and well, I never left.”

Blaine and Kurt understanding the sentiment and smiled at each other.

The smirk on Charles face could warm the coldest heart. “I see you followed a similar path.”

“It wasn’t really a pick up but then, I guess it was . . . in a way.” Blaine nudged his lover.

Kurt butted himself against the man he loved and then looked to Charles. “I walked down the stairs and asked someone what was going on.”

“I just happened to be that someone.” Blaine kissed Kurt’s fingers. “I took his hand and led him down the hall and then sang to him.”

“You sang for the masses grooving to your voice and those sexy moves.”

“Sexy? Really? I remember only seeing you.”

“Oh, you’re so full of it. You had a crush on that manager at the Gap.”

“Assistant manager.”

“With long wavy hair and what, six or was I eight years older than you.”

“It looked great in the wind blowing all over.”

“And yours remained locked in place by a cup of gel.”

“As if that mane of yours will move.”

“You were such a chicken for the plucking.”

“I left that honour for you.”

With a huge grin, Kurt purred, “It was an honour beyond honours.”

Half of Blaine’s face curled up into the adorably sexy grin as Blaine flushed beat red.

Laughing, Charles beamed at his two young companions. Sipping his wine, he said. “Steven and I would banter back and forth like that. I miss it.”

“You loved him?” Blaine softly asked.

“Very much. Steven was not a handsome man nor was he ugly. A little pudgy with lots of hair but he swept me off my feet. I was a skinny little thing at that time and I called him my cub. We must have looked hilarious together.” Charles looked bit sad for a moment. “I had two boyfriends after Steven, but nothing compared. He was my soulmate.”

Eyes locked, the bond which made them a couple blossomed the pedals of an opening flower. Smiled. The truth of the pain they had suffered rolled up their torsos and settled in their chests leaving a sense of forgiveness. Together they smiled and kissed.

Topping up their glassed, Charles’ eyes moved from Blaine to Kurt and back again. “Would you like a little advice?”

“Don’t go to bed angry?” Blaine countered with an impish glint in his eye.

“Well, that’s a good one and its very true,” Charles raised his glass again and waited for the lovers to do the same. When they had he added, “Never loose the feeling you have for each other at this moment. Cherish it and you will have nothing but happiness.”

Three glasses touched again and then Kurt suddenly leaned in and kissed Blaine. The man with dark five o’clock shadow wildly grinned and lifted his glass again. “To the man I love with all my heart. You are perfect to me in in every way.”

“Ah, thank you,” Charles placed a hand on his chest with a mocking grin,

Looking to the older man, Kurt chuckled and then said, “Blaine, I knew I loved you when you first took my hand.”

Sitting back Charles’ face shown with admiration and caring. Reaching into his inside pocket of his blazer, he took out a card and offered it to Kurt. “When you get back to New York, give me a call, this old troll hasn’t creeped you out.”

“No, no,” Kurt blurt out he looked at Blaine who nodded. “I think we would both like that.”

Taking the card from his lover, Blaine looked at it and his brow furrowed. “You work at the Metropolitan Opera?”

“Been working there for twenty-seven years.” Charles’ eyes glossed over as if fond memories pressed in on his thought.

“Wow,” Kurt excitedly sat forward. “Do you know Rosalind Elias or James Conlon or Paul Plishka?”

“I’ve worked with them.” Charles gave Kurt a look and then smirked. “You know your classics.”

Licking his lips, Kurt nodded. “We study them at NYADA. I love listening to them sing.”

Sipping his wine Blaine placed a hand on Kurt’s back and asked, “Do you know Ann Ziff or June Dalloway?”

“I’ve never met Ann but, June, I’ve met here a few times.” Charles swirled his wine as his brow pressed together. “Have your paths crossed?”

Grinning from ear to ear, Kurt dropped a hand onto Blaine’s thigh. “She did a showcase for Blaine last year.”

“You’re lucky.” The older man nodded. “She’s a very generous woman.”

One eyebrow pushed up as Blaine stated, “She can be very hard too.”

“Yes, and that’s why she’s trusted by so many.” Shifting on the love seat, Charles faced the youngsters. “She has a real nose for talent. If she went to that degree for you don’t give up on your dream.”

Rolling his lower over his upper lip, Blaine commented, “I don’t want to give up on anything, but we do have things we need to do before I can pick up on the dream.”

“Don’t waste time, Blaine or for that fact, you too Kurt.” Charles stopped and looked to the bar and then back at Blaine. “You mentioned something about reapplying at NYADA, well drop June’s name. She’s one of their biggest benefactors.”

Blaine’s brows brunched up. “I don’t want to do it that way.”

“A further word of advice.” Charles leaned forward with a serious look on his face. “Take it from an old queen, don’t waist your youth with flighty ideas. Go for it and make a name for yourself. Broadway is doggie dog and can be nasty at times. If June saw fit to give you a leg up, take it. It happens to very few people.”


	21. A Get Away - Part 3

The audience cheered when two young men through their arms about each other. Lips locking, the day’s wild ride started before the sun rose over the Atlantic. The hours they whittled away in the room, but this morning Blaine woke with a start. Heart pounding in is chest, his eyes flickering, they opened to find a source of instant calm. Head tucked down toward his chest the heavenly sight of a handsome face on the pillow close to his. Breathing in, he felt a bead of sweat roll down forehead. Even with all the happiness of the past few weeks the events on a cold winter’s night haunted him. Never had he felt so low, but now he felt he could touch the clouds. The two clashed within a simmering pool of guilt. Blaine dull pain spread within the center of his chest. For all intensive purposes, Kurt forgive him so why could not he absolve himself?

Lying there pondering the why’s, Blaine felt the same sense of dread deep in his stomach. The acidy sensation slowly clawed itself up into his chest and then Kurt’s foot abruptly struck his as the man involuntarily stretched in his sleep. Dragged Blaine from his sadness he drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. Lowing his head back onto the pillow he inhaled and breathed out several times until he felt himself doze. In that odd place between sleep and being awake, the clouds of his mind parted to reveal firelight sparkling on early eighteenth-century crystal. Two men in their mid-twenties, one with his shirt off sat on the floor against the couch holding goblets filled with red liquid. Shoulder’s resting against each other, they talked about wishes and their wants. Suddenly the shorter one with darker hair rolled onto one knee to make a loving statement. The other beamed and reached up drawing his lover into a passionate kiss.

The sliver of light hanging on the horizon, like the glitter of firelight on stemware, brought hope. Spreading contentment pushed back at the darkness of the past as his foot pressed against Kurt’s. Usually falling asleep wrapped around each other sometime during the night would part even though they still held on in some manner. On occasion Kurt rested his fingers on his Blaine’s happy stick but normally a hand or a foot kept contact as they both turned onto their sides.

A blade of brightness drew a line on Kurt’s exposed back. Starting at his shoulder, as the moments past it stretched down onto the deltoid muscle. From his present angle, Blaine gazed at the tattoo on Kurt’s back and the sight made him a little unhappy. He still could believe his love would mark his perfect skin in such a manner. Still the sight of his ribcage rise and fall mesmerized Blaine.

Controlling a large yawn and the need to stretch, Blaine’s eyes darted about. He enjoyed the cabana house but, to be honest, the hotel beat it hands down. Throwing themselves on the king-sized bed when checked in, they sank into the kings sized bed. Warm pine floors which felt good on the toes, the fireplace made for a very romantic atmosphere and marble in the bathroom added to the luxurious comfort of suite. Visiting the pool a few times, the pruned their skin in the hot tub long into the late evening hours.

Rolling his head toward the brightening slice of light, Blaine honestly smiled for the first time since waking—their last day. Baring two events which threatened to derail everything, he had never felt so light on his feet or his head nor heart, for that fact. Holding hands walking down the street or getting lost in the oceans of Kurt’s eyes, he loved all of it. He wanted their week to end with a bang, but he got a bad dream.

Glancing back at his lover, a finger gently ran along smooth skin provoking a loving beginning of the morning. Later, with Kurt’s sweaty body lying next to him, Blaine felt at ease. Not wanting to move, he kept looking at the clock.

Keeping Kurt occupied over some foolish thing, those lovely blue eyes went wide when the manager deposited a huge bouquet of red and yellow roses on the table in front of him. The stern expression on his face changed as he looked to Blaine with surprise. Then his brow furrowed when he noticed two white gold rings dangled from a thin red ribbon. Chin hanging low, Kurt stared for a long moment and then a finger tapped the rings bringing it all into perspective. The narrow and flat metal circle complimented the ones already on his finger. Turning in his chair to face his lover, his best friend, his darling husband, Kurt through he arms about Blaine.

Hours later and with a microphone pressed into his Kurt’s back, Blaine beamed as he looked at his sparkling creation. On their first walk along Provincetown’s main street Blaine spotted a little store with a sign in the window reading ‘goldsmith on premises’. Hatching a plan, the next day, while Kurt took a nap, Blaine ran down there and made a hasty and time sensitive order. It almost maxed out his credit card, but he did not care. Love consumed him.

Admiring his handy work over his husband’s shoulder he smiled. Blaine would never forget the look on Kurt’s face when he got down on one knee and slipped the ring onto his finger. While a nice gesture on Sue’s part, he wanted something special for the wedding he planned many months before Kurt pushed through a door asking him to go to be his date for another ceremony. That night Blaine lay there in Kurt’s arms wistfully thinking of the possibilities not realizing a few days later circumstance would make up their minds for them.

Watching the light dance over the polished metal with a fine Celtic braid on the unmodified edge, he held his lover tightly. After breakfast they went to the jeweler and had the four rings properly set to make two. Blaine never intended to replace the rings they slipped on their fingers the day of their wedding but only to add to them. Engraving the phrase ‘right in left’ to each made everything perfect. Kurt cried of course, and Blaine found it impossible to escape his emotions.

Dinner at the Mews Restaurant meant dressing in suite jackets and nicest cloths they brought with them. Lobster, steak, jumbo scallops, duck, salads and soups mixed with wine and coffee made for a romantic and funny time. Charles entertained them with stories from and his after hours high jinks as Madam Lipkinka.

The evening rolled on and Charles had another surprise he knew his young companions would enjoy. An elegantly attired drag queen paced the stage looking for a brave soul wishing to accompany the karaoke machine. It took only a little push from Charles to get the two young men up there. Music flowed in their veins and the crowd pushed them. Six songs later, they handed the microphones back to the mistress of ceremonies. With a little jump in his step, Kurt led Blaine down the stairs. Skirting along the wall to the right of the curtain to where Charles stood clapping old arms wrapped around the two cubs.

“Now, who is going to be brave enough follow that.” The vibrant drag queen in six-inch heels, a slim, sparkling pearl dress with towering hair announced from on stage. Thick red lips annunciated with flare as long lashes fluttered with her eyes. “Come on you bitches, drink some more and get your lily-white asses up here.”

“Bravo, my boys,” Charles cooed as he steered Kurt and Blaine through the crowd toward the back of he cabaret. Wearing a sweater under light brown blazer the pleasant smell of expensive cologne flowed with him. “That last one was astounding.”

“You picked it?” Kurt pointed out as he climbed onto the stool next to a tall, round table.

“It brings back memories,” Charles grinned and then looked to the bar. “I bet you two could use something to wet your whistles.”

“You trying to get us drunk?” Kurt mused as he rubbed his hands across Blaine’s back. Squeezing in behind his lover he pulled a stool up to the table.

“A loud alarm clock will wake you soon enough, so you can puke or grab a coffee.” Charles smirked. “Take it from this old queen, flying with a hangover is not fun.”

Making as face, Blaine pulled the stool closer to Kurt and climbed up on it. Taking a left hand in his right Blaine folded their fingers together. “I’ve never been that drunk.”

“Really?” One of Kurt’s eyebrows went up.

“I’ve never threw up.”

“You were close at Rachel’s and then, there’s Scandals?”

“Okay, I had a bit too much to drink but I didn’t throw up? Did I?”

“No.”

“You’re such a tease.”

“And what do you do with that thing between your legs?” Kurt spread his free hand out wide as he gave Blaine a sideways look.

Blaine posed with a lofty look on his face. “And what does that make you, my sweet?”

“Completely and utterly smitten.”

“Oh, you say the nicest things, Mr. Anderson-Hummel.”

“And you do the most wonderful things, Mr. Anderson-Hummel”

Chuckling, Charles vanished into the crowd headed to the line at the bar.

Watching him go, Blaine looked back at the stage where a young woman took up the challenge. She had a good voice and managed to get the crowd revved up. Leaning closer to Kurt he said, “You were marvellous tonight.”

“Yeah, I was.” Kurt dryly replied and then kissed Blaine on the nose. “I missed singing with you so much.”

“Well, you get to sing with me for the rest of our lives.”

“Yes, and I am looking forward to anniversary duets and Christmas carols in the kitchen as we cook for our families?”

“That would be nice. I hope the place we find can fit yours and mine.”

“We’ll won’t find anything the size of the loft.”

“No, but we can’t go on living there.”

“I know. I’m surprised Rachel had been able to hang on to it this long.”

“She’s paying for Glee and she can’t keep both up forever. Fanny paid well, but the money isn’t endless.”

“She’s been offered another part.”

“It’s not the lead.”

“Will her pride get in the way . . . yes.”

“She almost blew it too.”

“She might have learned that lesson.”

“Or not?”

“She’s the same old Rachel we love to avoid every so often.”

“She’s thinking about NYADA again.” Blaine fell silent for a second. “I guess I have to think about it too.”

Placing his free hand on top of his and Blaine’s, Kurt gazed into those lovely hazel eyes and softly said, “Charles had a point the other day.”

“I’ve been thinking about it.”

“And?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s your decision Blaine and I’m not going to push the issue.”

Turning on his stool so his torso faced his husband, Blaine said. “He’s right though. We both have to try and to that point, I’ve been considering we should start our own production company.”

Pulling himself up straight, Kurt gave his partner that ‘you have got to be joking’ look.

“No, think about it, honey?” All four hands found themselves in a muddle as Blaine’s head tilted down ever so slightly he gazed at Kurt on an angle. “Not right now, but after we get out of school. I was thinking I could follow more of the production side while you continue to concentrate on acting.”

Pouting, Kurt looked unhappy. “You don’t want to act with me.”

“Oh Kurt . . .” Blaine pushed his shoulder into Kurt’s and smiled. “. . . of course, I do but I would like to learn the other side too. I’m going to be a year behind you . . . again. Maybe I’ll dedicate more of my last year to production and music composition.”

“I forgot about that?” Kurt looked down pouting. Fingers rubbing his lover’s hands he looked up again and cheerfully smiled. “At least this time we won’t be parted.”

Grinning, Blaine whispered, “I will be there to kiss you every morning before you kick me out the door to catch the bus.”

“Would I do that?”

“With a delightful wink.”

“I’d like that.” Kurt beamed and then his face became a little more serious. “So, you’re going to try NYADA again.”

Kissing Kurt’s hand on top of the pile of fingers, Blaine answered, “For you, I will do anything. I’ll have to try, that’s if Madam Thibidaux will let me in the door.”

“Now, that’s a good boy,” Charles commented as he squished between two men about his own age, three younger men and a woman to reach the table. Holding two tall tumblers filled with fizzy clear liquid with wedges of lime and a glass of red wine in two hands, he put them down on the table. Taking the tumblers and placing them before his young friends.

“Thanks, Charles,” Kurt nodded to the older man.

“We’ve been talking about school.” Blaine commented as he picked up the drink and sipped his soda water and lime.

“So, I gather.” Charles leaned against the table.

“You can have my stool,” Kurt offered and started to move.

“No, I’ll stand. My back gets sour if I sit too long.” Picking up his glass, Charles held it up. “To your careers. May they be long and fruitful.”

Two tall glasses met wine and Blaine said, “I was telling Kurt, I have been thinking about what you said earlier. I’m going to give it a try.”

“Try, don’t try not. Do, do not. There is no try.” Charles said in his best Yoda voice.

Smiling, Blaine added, “I was thinking of adding production and music composition to my course load.”

“You might want to go to NYU for the music side,” Charles advised. “It has one of the best programs in the world.”

“When we . . . were split up.” Blaine gave Kurt a sad look. “I looked at the music school at NYU and it cooperates with NYADA. I may be able to study music at NYU for credit at NYADA.”

“That would keep you busy.” Charles stated.

“I think I can make it work.” Blaine grinned. “I love writing music. It makes me feel as if someone is dropped a funnel making the notes and words feel like they come from higher place.”

“I fell something like that on stage.” Kurt admitted with mistrusting look on his face.

“Your true passions.” Charles’ brows pulled together and then he smiled. “I have a friend who has published five books. She says the same thing.”

Blaine’s eyes rolled and then he sighed. “When I think about it, it probably means two years, not one Kurt.”

Squinting at Blaine, Kurt touched his cheek. “We can make it work and maybe I will join you for those two.”

“You would do that?” Blaine seemed surprised.

Kissing his lover, Kurt softly replied, “Yes.”

“You’re such a darling.” Blaine grinned and then his face fell into a frown. “We’ll both have to work.”

“I know, but we’ll make due.” Kurt fondly stared at his husband.

Blaine pressed his shoulder against Kurt. “I’m going to see if I can get a scholarship. I’ll have time to apply if I do not waste time when we get back to Lima.”

Charles sipped his wine followed by a thoughtful stroke of his chin. “You know, I might be able to help there.”

“You’ve done enough for us this week,” Blaine stated as he turned to face Charles.

Charles held up a hand. “I’m not doing the hiring, so nothing’s guaranteed. We have three positions that will needing filling in the next few months. Two are in the lobby and the other is backstage with the rest of us grunts. I can put in word for both of you, but you will have to sell it.”

Two young men exchanged looks and then Kurt said, “Thanks, but I have a job in a home for retired actors waiting for me.”

“I guess that means you Blaine,” Charles grinned at Kurt. “Would you like the front of the house or back stage.”

“I’ve been thinking of adding production to my studies, so back stage.” Blaine picked up his drink and drained half of it. In some ways it felt as if he would be going to Dalton again. When his mother first put in the application they held an interview for himself and his parents. Pam forced Daniel to go and to Blaine’s surprise his father did not go off the deep end. In fact, he barely said anything. When Blaine mentioned he liked to sing, the committee asked Wes and David to come to the meeting. The rest became a triumph of personal history.

This did not compare though and seeing the one of the world’s premiere operas from behind the scenes would go a long way to fulfilling a long-term goal. Blaine hated to admit but dropping June’s name both at NYADA and in the scholarship application might take him far. Before him sat a man with the experience and knowledge to help him—both of them—along a hard and jumbled road. Stubborn belief in his own talent and a lack of understanding on how the system worked clouded his judgment.

“I’ll let you know when the posting goes up,” Charles placed a hand on Blaine’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Charles, but you really don’t need to do this.” Blaine felt obligated to state the obvious.

“No, I don’t but I want to. June’s not the only one who can recognize talent.” Charles swirled his wine and then downed it. “Can I help it this queer hopes we can become friends.”

“I think we already are,” Kurt commented with a smile. “You have been surprisingly generous this week.”

“Yeah, I can hear my friends saying I am trying to buy two handsome and very young studs.” Charles chucked with a wink. “When I heard the two of you talking to the waiter at Tin Pan Alley, I knew I wanted to get to know you. You’re cute but there is something I can’t quite put my finger on.”

The soft words of Blaine’s initial pronouncement of enduring love on the stairs of Dalton echoed in his head. The side of his face curled up into a smirk with the oddly comforting feeling in Blaine’s chest. Hazel eyes slowly moved to the man he loved, and his face exploded into a full-blown smile.

His chin receding down toward his chest, Kurt made a face. “What?”

Taking Kurt’s hand, Blaine said, “I was thinking of when I originally asked you to marry me.”

“That was so sweet in a bizarre way?” Kurt scratched his head and then smiled for the sack of smiling. “You took my hand and it felt . . . your words were surreal.”

Charles cleared his throat. “Should I leave you two alone.”

Both men beamed and the looked to Charles. Kurt said in a low, emotional voice, “My soul understood something before . . . “

Fondly looking at his new husband, Blaine completed the statement. “Well before my body and my mind . . .”

Tears rolled down Kurt cheek and the took that hand in his and kissed it ever so gently. “You make me so happy.”

“And you make me feel so loved.” Blaine softly replied.

Searching for that last drop of wine, Charles grinned as he watched the two lovebirds stare into each other’s eyes. His eyes drifted to the stage where a man passed the microphone back to the mistress of ceremonies. Again, she made a call out for volunteers.

Suddenly Kurt jump to his feet and made a dash through the crowd to the stage. At the same time a large woman made her way forward, but when the drag queen noticed Kurt she/he literally threw the microphone at him. Making a face, the woman rolled her eyes and settled back to wait.

A bright light shown down at Kurt as he typed a title into the machine. Standing, he covered his eyes to cut the glare and looked out into the crowd. Anticipation filled many faces and then he held the microphone to his lips. In a sultry voice he said, “This is for my best friend, the man I love, and new husband.”

The music started with a touch a button.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjnmICxvoVY Artist Savage Garden but please, image Kurt singing it.)

_Maybe it's intuition_   
_But some things you just don't question_   
_Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant_   
_And there it goes, I think I've found my best friend_

_I know that it might sound more than a little_   
_Crazy, but I believe_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_   
_I think I dreamed you into life_   
_I knew I loved you before I met you_   
_I have been waiting all my life_

_There's just no rhyme or reason_   
_Only this sense of completion_   
_And in your eyes, I see the missing pieces_   
_I'm searching for, I think I found my way home_

_I know that it might sound more than a little_   
_Crazy, but I believe_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_   
_I think I dreamed you into life_   
_I knew I loved you before I met you_   
_I have been waiting all my life_

_A thousand angels dance around you_   
_I am complete now that I found you_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_   
_I think I dreamed you into life_   
_I knew I loved you before I met you_   
_I have been waiting all my life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_   
_I think I dreamed you into my life_   
_I knew I loved you before I met you_   
_I have been waiting all my life_

A tear rolled onto wrinkled skin and old Blaine felt a ping of pain in his heart. Drawing in a deep breath it did not make him feel better but brought his thoughts into focus. An aged man remembered stumbling from the taxi into his lover’s arms while Charles yelled at the boys from the front seat wishing them luck and telling them to call. The middle-aged stage manager would be in their lives for another thirty years sharing the triumphs and letdowns. On retirement he moved to sunny California where he enjoyed the good life in San Francisco.

By midmorning they sat on a plane roaring up over Provincetown leaving them only recollections and hundreds of photos to remind them of what they shared. Age dulled his memory but, at the moment, it sat there in the forefront of his mind as if it had just happened.


	22. Tapping Fingers

Drumming fingers struck the bark allowing a silvery ring to flash in the sunlight. The ornate stone pillar of the wrought iron fence marking the edge of the property pressed against the groomed hedge of the property next door. Smoke drifted on the breeze and two fire trucks with three marked vans sat in the parking lot its their light on. Ribbons of yellow tape fluttered in the breeze from the trees warning people to stay back. The left side of the building looked like many charred ribs sticking up out of a decayed corpse. The upper portions of old brick walls fell in taking several windows and part of the balcony with it. The other half of the building looked like of the familiar except for the gapping holes in the roof. Pieces of scorched furniture, paintings and wood paneling lay in piles on the grass especially on the right side of the building. Inspectors in coveralls talked where the front door had once stood.

A large, low, flatbed twenty-wheeled truck parked close to the manicured grass unloaded a tracked digger. The engine section and operator’s cage twisted as the machine angled down to the pavement near the spot several workers spoke with a fire chief. The man in authority pointed to the right side of the building where the crew of the remaining engine kept a fire hose spraying into the ruin.

Letting out a low sigh, Blaine found it hard not to be emotional. Dalton saved him not only from the bullies but himself. In those halls he found acceptance and learned how to handle a quickly degrading family life. He laughed, cried and came to know the man he now called his life partner. Every day he stepped through the doors to find the wood freshly polished, the floor waxed and the canaries singing in the aviary. People who did not judge him because of his sexual preference, spoke to him about their dreams, girlfriends and, of course, music.

The atmosphere of the academy and the people in it allowed a scared boy to flourish. Yes, he had arguments and a few minor altercations, but nothing like his previous school. Now it looked black and scorched leaving a hole in his heart. Sentiment rocked his body, but the dear man pressed against him gave him strength. Their morning started in the country side enjoying the last weekend before they had to go back to the business of running their lives. Blaine intended to introduce a nervous Kurt to horseback riding, instead they rushed back into the city.

Blaine’s dark, normally glued down fluffy hair had a wild look to it. Disheveled, he drew in a deep breath and then turned to face the man he loved. Barely a few inched from his husband’s face, he could smell the coffee on Kurt’s breath. Peering into the sea of his husband’s blue eyes, Blaine lowered his head so that it rested against the other man’s cheek. He felt tender lips gently press against into his hair.

Blankly gazing at the mess at the end of the street, a hand fell upon Kurt’s fingers resting on his shoulder. Gently tracing the ring, the solace Blaine felt allowed him to keep his despair in check. Leaning his head on his husband’s shoulder Blaine enjoyed feeling of Kurt’s other hand slipping around his waist. In turn Kurt laid his head against his partner’s, followed by an escape of a pained breath.

“Oh, my Blaine. I’m so sorry.” Feeling bad Kurt did what he could even as he struggled with his feelings. Dalton became a place where he considered, regrouped and gained the strength he would need when he returned to McKinley.

Wrapping his arms about his husband, Kurt pulled him close. In response, Blaine pressed his face into Kurt’s neck. The sorrowful man shivered, and Kurt could not blame him. Slowly, and ever so softly, Kurt sang: I really can't stay.

Blaine stirred, his nose pressing against Kurt’s throat.

Kurt hesitated and then added what would be the next line: I've got to go away.

Soft lips pressed against prickly porcelain white skin.

Quietly, Kurt’s pronounced the next line: This evening has been.

Pulling back, Blaine stared at his husband with misty eyes as Blaine’s thick, pink lips opened ever so slightly. At this moment he wanted every last inch of the adorable man, but regrettably, he satisfied himself with lust filled lips.

Licking his partner’s mouth as he withdrew, Kurt noted the spray of green within his husband’s hazel eyes. Going back to the beginning, Kurt stared the song again and Blaine’s voice joined his in easy, loving harmony.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFufE3mCTyU)  
Kurt (Blaine):  
_I really can't stay (But, baby, it's cold outside)_  
 _I've got to go away (But, baby, it's cold outside)_  
 _This evening has been (Been hoping that you'd drop in)_  
 _So very nice (I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice)_

_My mother will start to worry (Beautiful, what's your hurry?)_   
_My father will be pacing the floor (Listen to the fireplace roar)_   
_So really, I'd better scurry (Beautiful, please don't hurry)_   
_But maybe just a half a drink more (Put some records on while I pour)_

_The neighbors might faint (Baby, it's bad out there)_   
_Say, what's in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)_   
_I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)_   
_To break the spell (I'll take your hat, your hair looks well)_

_I ought to say no, no, no, sir (Mind if I move in closer?)_   
_At least I'm gonna say that I tried (What's the sense in hurting my pride?)_   
_I really can't stay (Baby, don't hold out)_

Blaine (Kurt):  
_Baby (Oh, but)_

Blaine with Kurt:  
It's cold outside

Kurt (Blaine):  
_I simply must go (But, baby, it's cold outside)_  
 _The answer is no (But, baby, it's cold outside)_  
 _This welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in)_  
 _So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)_

_My sister will be suspicious (Gosh, your lips look delicious)_   
_My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon a tropical shore)_   
_My maiden aunt's mind is vicious (Ooh, your lips are delicious)_   
_But maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before)_

_I've gotta get home (But, baby, you'd freeze out there)_   
_Say, lend me your coat (It's up to your knees out there)_   
_You've really been grand (I thrill when you touch my hand)_   
_But don't you see (How can you do this thing to me?)_

_There's bound to be talk tomorrow (Think about a lifelong sorrow)_   
_At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died)_   
_I really can't stay (Get over that hold out)_

Blaine (Kurt):  
_Ooh, baby (Oh, but)_

Kurt with Blaine:  
_It's cold outside_

Suddenly Blaine drew his husband in a hard, strong embrace and released a sob. Heart pounding in his chest, his smile spoke of nothing but admiration. “Our first duet.”

“Our first of many things.” Kurt’s eyes sparkled like glistening blue lakes. “Each time we sing shivers run down my spine.”

Hazel orbs twinkled as Blaine fondly gazed at the man he loved. The blood racing through his veins forced him to press his mouth into Kurt’s. The other man leaned into it causing Blaine’s temperature to rise. When they slowly separating, a string moisture spread between their lips. It felt weird. Prior to their wedding both hesitantly showed their intimacy in public but, under present circumstances, neither cared.

Stroking Kurt’s neck, Blaine whispered in a low sexy voice, “Thank you, dearest. You do know how to cheer up a moody Blaine.”

“I happen to love a moody Blaine,” Kurt softy replied as his left hand once more slipped into partner’s right. “I will be here for you all our lives.”

“The day we finally said, ‘I do’ made everything I felt about you come true. How I loved that moment and the look on your handsome face. But, here . . .” Blaine pointed at the burnt-out building and let out a loud sigh. “After you went back to McKinley, it killed me to travel those stairs. I would always stop and turn looking up hoping you were there.”

“And you came to me.” Kurt smiled and ran a finger over Blaine’s ear.

“How could I not.” Blaine straightened up. “I loved . . . love you.”

“And I love, you to.” Kurt kissed his husband and then his eyes scanned the mess on the other side of the fence. “Seeing it like this seems like . . .”

“A waste?” Blaine drew in a hard breath and twisted his back without letting go of Kurt. “No . . . more . . . I don’t know.”

Kurt placed his hand on Blaine chest over his heart. “Blaine, Dalton is special to both of us. Within those halls two boys played a game of intimacy neither of them really understood until one of us sang a song deeply touched by sadness. The weeks that followed became consumed by discovery and budding love. Our love.”

Feeling the heat spreading up his neck, Blaine smiled. Taking Kurt’s hand lips gently touched an upturned palm and then said, “At least no one was hurt.”

“Thank the gods for that but I do not know about the building?”

“Dalton’s been on this spot for decades. It’s a landmark.”

“Do you want to go somewhere and just be.”

“Just be, meaning content in the comfort of each other.”

“You and I.”

“It’s funning looking at smoke curling up into the air. It’s like memories flying away.”

“They will always be there my love.”

“Yeah, I think I would like to go to our spot.”

The two men hugged, but the kiss they craved never happened because of someone yelling from down the street. Husbands turned at the same moment to see two former Warblers briskly walking toward them. They graduated from Dalton the year Blaine left for McKinley. Wes asked his girlfriend to marry him a year ago and David studied chemistry in a university in Minneapolis. Like many of the Warblers they kept in touch via social media.

“Blaine? Kurt?” Wes waved a hand. The former Warbler sauntered down the sidewalk wearing shorts, polo shirt and snicker. Shoulder length hair brushed his collar and he looked a little bit bigger, stomach wise.

“Hey guys?” Blaine called back holding his husband’s hand firmly in his.

“I thought I recognized those angelic voices.” David wildly smiled. A baseball cap covered David’s short, tight wavy hair. Dressed in pants made of a flowing light fabric he wore a bright button-down shirt and deck shoes.

“It’s good to see you two,” Kurt commented and then he glanced down the street to where the large piece of machine rolled across the lawn.

The expressions on the faces of two former Warbler council leads changed when they moved beyond the high hedge at the side of the road. With a clear view of the destruction they slowed to a stop and blank faces gazed at the wreckage. Wes rolled his head to one side and then he looked to David with a sorrowful look.

Sucking in upper lip, David said in a shaky voice, “My god, it is worse than I thought.”

Nodding, Blaine glanced at the gutted building. “It doesn’t look like there’s much to salvage.”

“Nope,” Wes watched the activity down the block with a weary look. Shaking his head, he glanced up into the sky where a thin haze of smoke dispersed on the breeze.

Turning away, David grinned and then patted Kurt on the shoulder he said, “You’re looking good now that you have grown past puberty.”

“Ha, ha. You’re looking good yourself, now that you covered your head with a hat.” Kurt weakly smiled as he swung away from Dalton. Soft blue eyes fell on Blaine whose expression consisted of a mix of emotions.

“Touché.” David replied staring down the street where the firemen gathered some equipment from the engine. Life has been busy but entertaining.”

Blaine glanced this his husband and then looked down the street. “Not the best way to have a reunion.”

“No.” David made a face and then he turned away from the old building. “Feels like some part of me has died.”

“I still can’t believe it.” Wes sadly lowered his head. “It’s all gone up in smoke.”

“We heard about the fire on the radio,” Blaine looked toward the tracked beast as it ripped through the flower bed with a fire official walked beside it.

“Trent called me, and I got hold of David,” Wes ventured rotating away from the sorrowful sight. “I wonder if they’ll rebuild.”

“Where is Trent?” Blaine asked.

“He’s in Detroit applying for a job.” Wes replied. “He saw it on Thad’s Instagram.”

“I don’t think I can watch this, much longer.” David admitted as his face drooped. “The best years of my short life had been in those walls.”

“Looking at the old girl is making me remorseful,” Wes watched the digger approach the corner of the fragile structure and then suddenly swung hitting the crumbling bricks. The fire-fighters instantly doused the burst of orange flame rolled up into the sky. “How about we walk over to the Limabean.”

With a heavy heart Blaine began to walk. Attached at the hand to Kurt, the dreamy man flowed along. When the first arrived three fire trucks pulled away leaving one in the parking lot. A police care and three news vans lined the opposite of the street across from two young men sitting on a lows stone. Standing out because of their uniforms, the newscasters swarmed about them and the neighbors.

At the corner, out of sight of their old school, the foursome stopped at the cross walk and waited for the light. Someone looked back when timbers loudly cracked under pressure from the digging machine. Wes said to Kurt and Blaine. “It’s good to see you two, together. Trent told us you two had broken up.”

Pain sprang into Blaine’s heart and he closed his eyes. In his mind, he saw Kurt sitting across the table from him with a determined look on his face. It rained in New York that day, a day which still hurt. Words — do you even want this wedding—sent a spike through the soul. Then the twisting machinations of a quirky woman forced two scared hearts to see the light. In an out building next to a barn, Blaine uttered five words stitching the last thread sealing the wound.

Letting out a soft sigh, Blaine felt the fingers grasping his tightened revealing how well his love knew him. Turning so their eyes met, Blaine’s free hand fell on Kurt’s arm and light flickered across silver gold.

Brows pulled together, David looked puzzled for a second and then he nudged Wes and pointed. “They’re married?”

“My god?” Wes whispered as he stared at the two young men with a surprised look. “When?”

Smiling at Kurt with so much admiration his heart could burst, Blaine nodded to Wes and David. “Three weeks ago.”

“Well . . . congratulations.” Wes offers a hand to Blaine and drew him into a hug. Beside him David threw his arm about Kurt and then they exchanged partners.

“There was nothing on FB or IG?” David commented with a huge smile as his eyes glistened with a hint of moisture.

“There were lots of pictures from our McKinley friends,” Blaine added as he happily swung Kurt’s arm.

Slightly blushing, Blaine added, “We’ve been kind of busy.”

“I bet. Well, guess that answers that,” David glanced at Wes.

“Hell, I can’t believe they finally did it.” Wes could not stop smiling.

Looking puzzled, Blaine asked, “Finally?”

His two Warbler friends glanced at each other and then Wes replied, “The two of you were prefect even before you acknowledged your attachment.”

Heat roared up Blaine’s neck as he blushed. Smiling at Kurt, his fingers ran down the smooth skin of Kurt’s arm. On a chilly day when two boys shared stares after the Gap desaster, Blaine stood in a line up blinded by the fluff in his head. Embarrassed, an innocent conversation opened his eyes to the obvious. Admitting he knew little about romance started the long progression to where he stood in a barn saying, ‘I do’.

“Come on, lovebirds, let’s go get a coffee and you can tell us all about it,” David slapped Kurt and Blaine on their backs at the same time. He glanced back toward Dalton but then the light changed bringing the cars to a stop.

“You do have pictures, right?” Wes demanded as the trotted across the street behind his three friends. He could not stop himself from smiling.

“Who caught Kurt’s bouquets?” David butt in before either husband could reply. A big smile pushed David’s cheeks out. “The one with the great voice and diva attitude?”

Wes gave the boys a sideways look as he bobbed his head back and forth. “Yeah, Rachel, right?”

David chuckled. “She’s got some chops on here and Broadway?”

“We can sick her on you if you want?” Kurt mused.

David shook his head.

The banter continued and fifteen minutes later the four of them stood before the counter at the Limabean ordering drinks and something sweet. David did not give anyone a chance to argue about whom is buying while Wes steered the newlyweds to a table by a sun drenched open window. Sitting together, Kurt and Blaine wrapped their fingers, right into left, together under the table. It warmed their hearts to tell their story leaving out some of the weirder stuff such as an evening in an elevator with a stuffed dummy on a tricycle. The dance of intimacy the two played before getting back together created a few chuckles.

David and Wes sat close together holding Kurt’s cell phone between them going through the pictures. Suddenly Wes turned the phone around, so it faced the newlyweds. “A bit rustic. I pictured you as big church type, Blaine.”

Blaine happily replied. “It was down to earth.”

Snickering, David injected, “As long as you did not step in it.”

Making a face, Kurt rolled his eyes. “And didn’t cost us a dime.”

“We donated.” Blaine did not like the idea of being called leeches.

Wes, grinned and turned the phone around pointing at a picture. “These are the three women talked you into it?”

“More or less,” Kurt replied with a sideways glance at Blaine with sparkled blue. “Brittany’s the bond . . .”

“I hope the one with the wrinkles isn’t Santana?” David grinned.

“You know Santana.” Blaine chuckled. His friends had been making all sorts of jokes about the barn adventure. “She the one set Sabastian straight.”

“I heard about that.” David sounded as if did not care.

Unimpressed, Kurt said with a sharpness to his tone, “Do we have to talk about him.”

Wes and David glanced at each other and did not want to push it.

Knowing all too well where Kurt had gone, Blaine steered the conversation elsewhere, “The wrinkled one, as you put it, is Sue.”

David shrugged. “They should be given them metals for getting the two of you together.”

Squeezing Kurt’s hand, Blaine said in gravely tone, “It was all a bit . . . wonderfully bazaar.”

“When you got down onto your knees again and asked a second . . . time . . .” Kurt faulted on the words and then set his lips to the back of his husband’s fingers.

“God, it’s nice to see you so happy.” Wes glanced about the table and smirked.

Blaine’s face erupted into a huge smile and then he bumped his shoulder into Kurt who had a similar expression. Hazel met blue and then he said, “Thanks guys.”

“Honestly, I enjoyed watching the two of you in those halls. You would pass each other but the subtle little things you did not to make it obvious.” Wes broke up a muffin. “It seemed so natural as if you been together for years. It seemed so natural.”

Blushing, Blaine changed the subject. “David, what brought you into town? You couldn’t have gotten a flight that fast.”

“Avoidance, sweet,” David winked and then announced after sipping his mocha. “My older sister got engaged last week so I came in for the party.”

“Kathy?” Blaine blurt out, barely managing to control his tone.

“Yeah.” David’s eyebrows went up and down a number of times. “I never thought it would happen and I’m happy for her.”

Kurt’s brows twisted up. “The difficult one?”

David snorted. “That’s an understatement, but she seemed to be in love with George and he’s a great guy.”

“Wow, give her our best,” Blaine smiled at his old friend. “I remember when she came to Dalton.”

Chuckling David stated, “She’s such a princess in every sense of the word and has always been a handful.”

Popping part of his broken muffin into his mouth, chewed, swallowed and Wes’ eyes went to Blaine’s busy fingers. Grinning he asked, “So what’s ahead for the two of you?”

Blaine made a face even as his fingers tapped the tabletop. “We really don’t know other than Kurt will be going back to school.”

“NYADA right?” Wes looked to Kurt while turning sideways to stretch his legs out.

“I’m on an outreach practical working with the New Directions.” Kurt sipped his coffee. “When it ends in a few weeks, Blaine will be going back with me to start our life together in New York.”

Blaine sighed and glanced to Kurt. “I am working on a scholarship application for both NYADA and NYU. I want to study acting, music and production.”

“At the same time?” David asked with his mug hovering just below his lips.

“The two schools work together,” Kurt answered with a grin and then looked out the window. Smoke drifted on the air.

Drawing in a deep breath, Blaine continued to drum his fingers heavily on the table top. “The fire sort of kills the Warblers.”

Wes sadly looked to David and they both nodded their head. Four former Warblers faced a truth they had been dancing around. The death of a building reached further than the lawns and flower gardens. What about the students and staff? What about the programs the private school preserved? What about their friends?

Three of the four at the table stared at one another for a long moment and then David said, “I guess we will see what happens over the next few days. The headmaster will have to come up with something.”

“Why don’t we talk about something else” Wes suggested with a sad face. The sentiment cast of his face found its reflection amongst his friends.

“How’s Betty?” Blaine piped up with an actor’s enthusiasm in his tone even though his fingernails continued to click against the table.

“She’s doing fine and is in her first year of medicine.” Wes grinned even though his eyes drifted toward the window.

“Medicine?” Blaine responded trying to sound upbeat even though his fingers pounded rhythmically on the surface of the table. “I thought she wanted to go into politics.”

Sipping the last of his coffee, Wes said in a soft voice, “And I never thought I would drop accounting in favor for law. Betty had a particularly bad debate one day and it sent her spiraling. She decided she could not be that cut throat.”

“My dad doesn’t speak much about the backroom biting in Washington, but I can see it wears on him.” Kurt glanced at Blaine as if seeking support and then winked.

“How is your dad?” David played with his cup. “I haven’t seen him since you guys wiped our butts at regionals.”

“He’s in Washington with Carole because of the visit of . . .” Kurt suddenly stopped, and he look up on an angle as if thinking.

“Honey, what?” Blaine looked to his husband with soft, hazel eyes barely noticing his fingers drummed away.

“I’ve seen that look before.” David gave Kurt a sideway look.

Kurt rolled his head and a hand suddenly landed on Blaine’s stopping the annoying tapping. He gave the man he loved an apologetic look.  
“Kurt?” Blaine pleaded his eyes staring at the hand covering his. He wondered why Kurt had done that, but he remembered Kurt hated it when he drummed his fingers.

Wes and David sat forward.

Pushing his cup away, Kurt said, “Do you think Skyler and the others would consider joining with the New Directions?”


	23. Road Side

Dreamy hazel eye said everything as he jogged along, right hand in left at Kurt’s side. up the path toward the parking lot. The two carefree men giggled and snuck seductive peeks at each other as they weaved through the trees. Every so often one of them would pull his hand away and veer off around a bush or tree only to link hands again. A kiss here and a pinch there emphasized care free joy. Exploding onto the gravel roadbed they skidded to a stop. A police car sat next to their car with its inside light on. Glancing at one another Blaine rubbed his husband’s hand before letting go.

At their approach, the black door with a logo stenciled on it swung open and a tall, broadly built man climbed out. The slipping light of the day reflected off his badge as he bent down and picked up his hat. Placing it on his short black hair, the Hispanic officer looked at the two young men. One had his shirt unbuttoned on his torso and the other stood there half naked holding a balled-up shirt in his hand. Both looked a little flushed, sweaty and glassy-eyed.

Pulling his flashlight for his belt, the officer asked, “Can I see your identifications, please.”

“Of course, officer,” Blaine tucked his hand into his pants pulling out his driver’s license and a few bills. He carried all he needed in his front pockets because a wallet in the back left an uncomfortable bump which destroyed the sexy smooth look. Tugging his identification out of its protective sheath, he handed it to the officer and waited.

At the same time Kurt reached into his wallet and extracted his driver’s license. Holding it out, he offered it to his officer and nervously tapped his other hand against the man beside him.

Taking the plastic cards, the officer stepped back studying the two men. Dark eyes went up and down them his nostrils flared. Flicked the flashlight on, the two young men blinked as he flashed it in their eyes and then looked down at the identifications. Moving his lips from side to side, he shown the beam at Blaine once more. “Tell me Mr. Anderson, what were you doing in the woods at this time of night.”

Heat rose up his chest and into his neck. How could he tell the officer his husband had just finished having his way with him? Trying to keep his voice from wavering, Blaine answered, “We went for a walk down along the river and tossed a football around for a while.”

“Where’s your football.” The officer glanced to Kurt with a stern no-nonsense look.

Caught off guard by Blaine’s announcement, Kurt blinked at the bright light shone in his face. “It’s downstream somewhere by now. I over threw and splash.”

The officer revealed no emotion as he looked between the two. “I see. Have you been drinking or doing drugs?”

“No officer,” Blaine immediately replied to another question he did not need to draw on his acting skills to act surprised. Waking up under Kurt’s blankets after too much at Rachel’s, Scandals and several times during the agonizing months of their breakups taught him much. As for drugs, he hated the smell of pot and had no desire to try anything harder.

The officer’s head bobbed up and down and then he switched his attention to the other identification. Light flashed against plastic and then it flickered across Kurt’s face causing the young man to jerk back suddenly. Giving the man a serious gaze, the officer looked down at the identification again.

Noting the glint in the officer’s eyes, fear struck Blaine. He knew. The thumbing of his heart increased pressing another rush of adrenaline into his veins. Hazel eyes darted to Kurt and he drew in an unconscious breath and then he perceived the officer staring at him. He instantly froze.

Eye shifted form one man to the other, the officer said to Kurt, “New York?”

“Yes, sir,” Kurt responded with a shaky voice. “I’m going to school there.”

The officer looked him up and down before his eyes went the other man. A twitch of his nose betrayed something and then he said, “Kurt Hummel, correct?”

“Yes,” Blaine’s husband’s voice cracked.

Turning the identifications over, he took his time studying the back of each and then he concentrated on Kurt. “Congressman Hummel is your father?”

“Yes, officer,” Kurt proudly replied.

Blaine’s stomach turned as he envisioned himself handcuffed with his head pressed down on the hood of the police car. Trying to control wild thoughts his anxiety played on other worries and regrets. A bead of sweet rolled down his cool back and his toes wiggled within his shoes. His mother tired to break her ten-year-old son of the habit. At that time Blaine did not understand why, but as he got older he learned his father could be observant.

The big man in the peaked, wide brimmed hat pulled his lips together and glanced at the two men. Holding Blaine’s gaze for a second, he absently rubbed his thumb over the identifications and he handed them back. “You do know the park closes as nine?”

“No, I didn’t officer,” Kurt replied as he looked at his watch—eight forty-seven.

Glancing at his husband, Blaine felt a wave of relief wash over him even a heavy knot formed in the pit of his gut.

Scratching he back of his neck, the officer handed their identifications back and turned toward his car. Without looking back, he announced, “You can be on your way now,”

Two young men looked at one another and then stepped toward their vehicle. Heading for the passenger side, hazel eyes glanced across the roof of Carole’s car. The officer sat there with the overhead light shining down on him as he typed into a computer. Glancing at Kurt, he received a slow wink in reply.

Climbing into the car, Blaine’s head landed with a thump against the headrest as he flopped into the seat. Bare skin against his cool upholstery send a shiver through his body. Letting out a huge sigh, the acid in his throat settled. The edge eased from his nerves but the tremors in the fingers did not go away. Why did he feel like this?

Distracted, he jumped when a hand landed on the back of his hand. On instinct Blaine’s palm turned up so their fingers could fold into each other as considered those lovely blue eyes staring at him. A fond grin erupted on Blaine’s face— wow, sex in a public place. Who would have thought? On the day their lips first met, Blaine fought with himself to prevent him from ripping at the novice Warbler’s cloths. Kurt’s stunning good looks took his breath away the first time they met on the stairs. As he got to know him, the enchanting boy’s innocence drew Blaine closer. Time and love eroded Kurt’s virtue in a most delightful way without stripping the darling man of what he held dear.

Kurt asked as he wiggled his fingers against Blaine’s and then smiled. “How are you doing, my love?”

“A little nervous.” Blaine admitted followed by a frown.

Kurt glanced over at the police car. “I guess we should get on our way.”

Shaking his head, he glanced at his husband with that inspiring half grin. Pulling Kurt’s hand to his lips he kissed it and then said, “We need to change our licenses Mr. Anderson-Hummel.”

Grinning, Kurt leaned in to kiss his husband. “That we do, Mr. Anderson-Hummel.”

Both laughed, and Kurt slipped his seatbelt on, started up the car and put it in gear. Backing up, he swung to one direction and then shifted into drive. “I wonder if he saw that?”

Blushing, Blaine said in a low tone, “Should I roll down the window and ask if he’s . . .”

“Blaine?” Kurt cut his husband off and he steered toward the slope to the road. His eyes darted to the adorable man sitting there with his shirt crumbled on his lap.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Blaine gave Kurt a questioning gaze with one eyebrow raised. Sweet pink lips looked so puffy he could just suck on them. Oh, he had, and he loved every second of it.

A huge grin stretched Kurt’s lips and with a wink he said, “Just remembering.”

Stroking the back of the hand resting on the steering wheel, Blaine felt his chest pull tight. “Where did you learn to do that?”

“I googled it.”

“No, kidding?”

“Of course not, you gorgeous dummy. It just came over me and you were in the right position so . . .’ Kurt smirked, and he checked the rearview mirror noting the police car remained stationary.

“I’m still tingling.” Blaine fondly grinned.

“Really?”

“You tickled me in the right place.”

“Are saying that is the first time I found the right place?”

“Let’s just say, you accented the right place and it was yummy.”

“Are you hinting at round two?” Kurt glanced out the driver’s side mirror. “He’s starting to move.”

Peering around the man blocking his view, Blaine sighed. “Time to go home, I guess?”

“Yeah, we can have a shower followed by wine and cheese?”

“In front of the fire on a bear skin rug?”

“Na, just you, a bottle, cheese, a warm blanket and some candles.”

“Sounds like a wonderful date to me.”

Snickering, Kurt drove up the curving gravel lane and onto the paved road. Stopping before he turned, the police car edged to the bottom of the incline. The Hummel name might have made the officer think twice but if they had broken the law he was certain the officer would not care. He had a job to do after all but the sign they just passed said they locked the driveway gates at ten.

The road beneath the wheels smoothed out the moment they turned onto the paved road. Staying just below the speed limit, Kurt looked in the rear-view mirror to see the police car pulling out behind him. In a low voice he said, “We’re being followed.”

“Unless he’s going out arrest some cows, he has to go this way to get back to town.” Blaine forced down a yawn as he pushed the seat belt away from his shoulder. Unrolling his polo shirt, pulled his shirt over his head.

“Oh-h-h-h-h,” Kurt complained.

Speaking through another yawn, Blaine said, “I’m cold.”

Keeping his eyes on the road, Kurt softly asked, “Tired, my love?”

“It’s been a long, upside-down day.” Blaine knocked the heat up a couple of notches and readjusted his seat belt.

“We can go right to bed skipping the wine, cheese and candles.”

“Not on your life, my boy, but I hope you don’t mind if I rest my eyes.”

“If you snore, I’ll poke you in the ribs.”

“You’re the one who snores.”

“Ha, ha, but I think we’re both guilty in that regard.”

“I’ll admit to that.” Blaine stifled a yawn.

Patting his love on the arm, Kurt turned the music down and said in a soft voice, “Go ahead and nap. I’ll wake you when we get close to home.”

Closing his eyes, Blaine’s head rolled to one side facing he window. It took a while before the world faded into something a little darker but the passenger side wheels dropping into the occasion pothole prevented real sleep. Lucidness came and went providing Blaine with an interesting insight as Kurt hummed to himself. In one of those heightened moments, the flicker of a bird diving down and then swooping up again caught Blaine’s attention. Spiraling up into the wind, feather fanned out and then it fell again toward to the roadway. The hawk raced the car for a while and the veered off to the left and up into the air again.

His mind wandered back through the hours as he felt his body relax. They sat talking to friends and Skyler over the phone for a while before stopping of their former high school to speak to Schuester. About mid-evening they settled on ‘their rock’ and leaned into each to enjoy the solace of each other. Hands pressed together, they listened to the rustling of the trees and the bubbling water making for peaceful moments where no one spoke. In the days after getting back together again, the dance of intimacy the two embarked on moved them to a higher place filled with emotion and discovery.

When the sun began to fall behind the height of the trees, an uncharacteristic mischievous sensation overtook Blaine. Slipping a hand down between Kurt’s legs, the shocked man pulled away with a violent jerk. His frown turned into a pout with the sight of the sorrow on his lover’s face. Leaning in to kiss Kurt’s neck, Blaine’s pleading ended in Kurt frantically tugging at clothing. Frenzied motions became a majestic masterpiece of overlapping events to bring perfection. The temperature hovered on the precarious edge of being uncomfortable and the breeze caressed bare skin tempting goosebumps to the surface. Tender fingers, sudden chills coupled with exquisite technique caused Blaine’s eyes to roll up into his head. Everything piled up creating a hyper sensitive climax.

Turning his head, blurry eyes focused on the sharp features of Kurt’s striking profile. Blue eyes effortlessly flipped from mirror to mirror as the drive concentrated on his task reminding Blaine of fluid motions of the hawk. Outside the trees and fields changed colour as the sun finally sank beneath the horizon. Stretching rays created hallows on the blurred features of nature’s beauty. An errand blade of brightness shot across Kurt’s face bringing an enduring, one sided smile to Blaine’s face. He loved that man.

“Hey there, my sweet.” Kurt quietly asked as he glanced to his right. “You managed to sleep for a little bit.”

“If you missed a few more potholes I could have gotten more.” Stretching, Blaine blew Kurt a kiss and then a large yawn opened his mouth wide.

Smirking, Kurt smiled. “I tried but the road needs paving.”

“I can tell.” Blaine yawned again. “Your boyfriend still tailing us?”

“Na, he dumbed me for forty winks.” Kurt mused as he placed a hand on Blaine’s arm. “But if you’re speaking about the beefy officer, he blew by us twenty minutes ago.”

“Did you blow him a kiss?”

“My husband would get upset.”

“Your husband needs to be a more understanding.”

“I’ll ask him the next time I see him. By the way, are you upset?”

“I think you have an understanding husband who loves you very much.”

“I’m happy he loves me, it would be no fun if he didn’t.”

Leaning his head on the outstretched arm, the flexing of Kurt’s bicep sent a wave of pleasure down Blaine’s spine. Plucked guitar strings on the radio peaked his attention and tapped the volume up a tiny bit. The chords rose and fell and when the voice of a man echoed through the speakers, but Blaine’s beautiful voice overpowered it.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5329TpD-qY singing of Roch Voisine but think of Blaine singing it)

_You and I_   
_Have followed the trace, laid by_   
_People of faith and pride_   
_With hungry eyes_

_You and I_   
_Could conquer the stars, if we tried_   
_Or simply live by simpler vows_   
_And let the storm go by_

Head still resting on an arm, hazel eyes spiraled up to the man he loved. With the music playing on, the look on Kurt’s face pleased Blaine. The lovely man glanced from the road to his husband with a stupid grin on his face. Knowing he distracted Kurt, Blaine’s voice faded. A furrowed brow caused him to sit up and continue.

_You and I_   
_Have written the book, line by line_   
_The few things it took to survive_   
_Was your loving heart and mine_

Racking Kurt’s hand with his fingers. Blaine sat up as the music caressed his veins. Emotion touched his voice but, unlike a night in a New York piano bar, Blaine felt confident.

_Should you go_   
_Remember these words, as they show_   
_Just how much I care, don't you know_   
_I'll always be there_

_There when the world and it's promise is failing_   
_There when the frost of it's winter is cursing_   
_There when the tears in your eyes keep on asking_   
_I'll always be there_

_You and I_   
_Have followed the trace, laid by_   
_People of faith and pride_   
_With angry eyes gone blind_

_You and I_   
_Will show them the light, we live by_   
_So never again will they try_   
_To keep us apart_

_There when the world and it's promise is failing_   
_There when the frost of it's winter is cursing_   
_There when the tears in your eyes keep on asking me why_

_There when the world and it's promise is failing_   
_There when the tears in your eyes keep on asking me why_

_There when the frost of it's winter is cursing_   
_There when your loving is such you keep burning alive_   
_I'll always be there_   
_I'll always be there_   
_I'll always be there_

By the end of the song, the car slowed to barely ten mile an hour. Kurt stared at his life partner with the strangest look of admiration. “That was incredible.”

Kissing Kurt’s arm, Blaine noted the ray of light from a street lamp flash across the driver’s face. The pulse in his wrist thumped under the skin. “Do you remember the night we kissed on Rachel’s stairs.”

“How, couldn’t I. You . . .” Kurt paused and corrected his position on the road and pushed the petal down to add a little speed. “. . . swept my heart up with those delicious lips.”

Brushing two fingers along the back of Kurt hand grasping the steering wheel, Blaine added with a hint of emotion. “When I started my car, that song played on the radio and it made me cry.”

“Blaine?”

“I missed you so much, but then . . .”

“You were with David.”

“Yeah and what could I do? I was trapped and . . . I don’t know why because it felt as if something was missing from the beginning. Maybe . . . perhaps it was because there was nothing else? When we sang at Rachel’s, I realized it had to do with the fact I could no longer hide from myself.”

“We’re married and it’s behind us.”

“Kurt, I felt so . . . well how could I . . . oh fuck . . . I screwed up and signed the wrong deal. I was depressed, and it seemed so right at the time. It wasn’t as if we were talking and David offered something I thought I needed at the time. At Scandals, I could have made the right choice but . . . how can I explain it? I was stuck. We had an apartment and it weighed . . . I was so stupid.”

“Blaine, please don’t beat yourself over the head.”

“The days following that kiss put me in such a tizzy. When it all came out he knew. He hurt but he was also accepting. He even made me laugh. Kurt, he was . . . is a nice guy.”

Slowly pulling off the road to the shoulder, Kurt flipped the hazards on and set the gear to park. Constrained by the seatbelt, he turned to face Blaine with a compassion look on his face. Placing a hand on the light scrub of five-o’clock shadow, the asked in a soft, almost emotional tone, “Why are you tell me this?”

The muscles of his chest constricted, and he drew shallow breath to compensate. Letting his head fall into that hand, Blaine replied, “I really don’t’ know.”

With his other hand, Kurt wiped a tear swelling up in his lover’s enchanting hazel eyes. “What’s really brothering you, my love? Dalton?”

Rolling his eyes up, Blaine stared into those heavenly blue orbs feeling a menagerie of conflicting emotions. He loved Kurt so much but the nastiness between them surged again. “Maybe I’m just . . . finally . . . letting go. You make me so very, very happy when you are with me . . . in me.”

Heads touched as Kurt leaned in to comfort his husband. “You’re trembling.”

Shifting under the weight of the seatbelt, Blaine cupped Kurt’s head in his hands. Pushing it back so he could look at his lover, a tear rolled down his cheek. The thrashing against his ribs spoke of the fear he felt and how gnawing guilt warned him to keep his it all shut up. Conversely, light and compassionate sentiment urged him to be honest. Pain twisted his chest causing discomfort he had never felt before. An old man knew the agony of a broken, no, not broken, failing heart tugged at him.

Loving eyes looked up at his partner’s peaceful and wrinkled face. Seventy years ago, he felt so frightened, ashamed and overwrought with the grim story he carried. This thing festered like a foul wound dragging him away from the man he loved. The emotions of a song tipped the balance. Nothing lasted forever but then renewal begets freedom. Three weeks after their wedding, his younger self writhed in a gloomy pool created by pillars of dense smoke. Today, an old man finally realized the power those flames had over him.

A rolling chuckle caressed his dry throat and thick, dry lips stretched into a smirk. The passing moments of life forced him to see the best and worst of himself and how he grew past the depths of his despair. Years ago, he unzipped the panels of his heart and in that instance, found the truth which would forever weld them together until death do us part.

“Kurt,” Blaine’s shaky voice broke the silence. Slowly, his head fell against his hands holding onto his husband’s concerned face. He drew in a deep breath and remained still as his fingers pulled together in to fists against Kurt’s skin. In a low, barely heard tone he said, “Do you remember last . . . New . . . Years?”

“Vaguely.” Kurt whispered as he lifted Blaine’s chin to see his cheeks wet with tears.

Looking into those loving eyes, Blaine hit the wall. The box lay open and regardless of the nasty words fear threw at him, he had to take the terrible step. “I tried to call you . . . I . . . almost . . . killed myself.”

Releasing his seatbelt, Kurt threw himself at his husband. Wrapping his arms tightly around Blaine, it felt as if their bodies might become one. Water ran down Kurt’s cheeks soaking the skin of the neck he pressed his face against. Hesitantly, Blaine forced his arms around his husband and the two men cried a healing cry.


	24. Open Door

The moment his foot fell on the back stoop, Kurt’s hand tightened about the finger he held. Letting out a long breath, the hair on the back of Blaine’s neck prickled. The lights from the neighbouring houses flickered across the lawn as hazel eyes scanned the darkness revealing nothing out of the ordinary. Swinging back to the porch he paused when he noted one of the table chairs sat on an angle. Two young men ate breakfast there in the streaming brightness of the rising sun. Kurt being Kurt, put everything back in their perfect places when they finished. The odd feeling crawling over his skin found a purpose when Blaine noticed the kitchen door—slightly ajar with splintered wood where someone forced the door jam.

Glancing at Kurt, Blaine felt the acid rise in his raw throat. Battling an upset stomach, it settled over coffee and bubbled up in the auditorium. Breaking down in the car brought the heartburn rising in his chest. A good ten-minute cry made him feel better and singing on the ride into town created a feeling of comforting warmth. Now fear touched his heart and it did belong to his experiences with Kurt, but rather that of violation. Someone had broken into Kurt’s childhood home and the idea scared him. What would they find? Did they trash the place? Was someone inside waiting?

Kurt took another step toward the door as if moving in slow motion and then paused. Looking back, fear fill his eyes. In a low voice he said, “Let’s just take a look first. Normally Burt has the next-door neighbour look in on the house when he and Carole are away. Stewart might have forgotten to pull the door completely shut.”

Without thinking, Blaine touched his husband’s arm and pointed at the place where the door handle met the frame. “I don’t think it was the neighbours. The door frame is damaged.” 

Blue eyes searched and then he froze. Gasping, one of Kurt’s hands came up to his face and his chin dropped. Stretching his leg out he tapped the base of the door with his shoe and it swung inward and the darkness of the kitchen greeted them. Pulling his foot back he held his breath as if expecting something to happen. Tense muscles relaxed as the seconds moved on. Looking at Blaine, he stretched his neck, so he could see in the door. The blue lights of the microwave, stove and coffee maker continued to shine and what brightness coming through the window revealed nothing out of place. 

“Honey, step back.” Laying a hand on his husband’s shoulder, Blaine gave Kurt a stern look. “I’m calling the police and you call your mom.”

Turning to look at his husband, suddenly emotion flashed across Kurt’s young face. Fumbling to extract his phone from his pants pocket, Kurt’s face flashed with deep emotions. Turning to face his husband, he felt apprehensive. Swiping his phone, he made a call to the house and Blaine gave him a confused look. Tapping the red phone to disconnect, both held their breaths. From inside the house the phone rang once. Relief swept through them when silence replied.

Blaine’s lower lip pulled up over his upper as he made a face. Tapping Kurt on the shoulder he pointed to his lover’s phone with his head. Nodding, Kurt selected another number and held it out so that Blaine could hear as well. Ringing a few times he thought the answering service would pick up and then they heard a change in sound. His voice rose when a single word exited his mouth, “Mom, hey, how are you?”

“Kurt, hello. I’m tired but good. So, what do I own the pleasure of this call?” Carole’s voice sounded muted by the small speaker. “Is Blaine with you, dear?”

Looking to Blaine, the fussy haired man looked through the kitchen window. Swallowing hard, Kurt replied, “He’s here, mom.”

“There’s a mess in the living room.” The Blaine felt goosebumps rise on his skin as he looked in the window. Turning his hand over he dialed and lifted the phone to his ear.

“What was that?” Carole’s voice hardened with each word.

Watching Blaine, Kurt quietly asked, “Did you ask Stewart to check on the house even though Blaine and I are here?”

“No.” Carole hesitated and when she spoke again Kurt picked up on the change in her tone. “Why are you asking?”

“We just got home, and the back door was open.” Kurt replied as his eyes searched the area around him. “There is damage to the door frame.”

A gasp over the phone gave Carole’s shock away.

“Mom, Blaine’s calling the police.” Kurt looked about noting the swaying shadows cast by the nearby lights on the lawn. 

Two young men exchanged glances and then Blaine suddenly perked up. Stepping back from the window he spoke into his cell phone saying, “Yes, I would like to report a break in.”

At the same time, Kurt continued to speak to him mom, “Yes, we’re alright.”

“Are you inside the house?” Carole asked, her voice muffled by the tiny speakers. 

“No, we’re on the porch but we’ve peeked in.”

“Don’t go in and keep an eye out you don’t know if they are still there. I’m staying on the line until the police get there.”

“You have better call dad.”

“He’s in a meeting.”

“This late.”

“It’s Washington, dear the it never stops here.”

Holding his phone to his ear, Blaine stepped closer to his husband and placed his free hand on Kurt’s shoulder. He recognized the look on his husband’s face. “No, we, did not enter the house. The kitchen looks untouched, but I can see stuff on the living room floor. No one was home . . . Kurt is speaking to his mother right now . . . Burt Hummel . . . Yes, Congressman Hummel.”

With the mention of his father, Kurt glanced at Blaine with a concerned look. 

His silence warned Carole who said, “Tell me about your day. It will keep you mind off things.”

Kurt sighed and grinned at Blaine knowing he could not tell her all. “Dalton Academy burned down, this morning.”

“Oh my god. Was anyone hurt? How’s Blaine,” Carole’s tone rose and then fell.

Kurt tried to sound up beat. “No one really hurt but a number of students are in hospital for observations. The building’ a total right.” 

“And how’s Blaine. I bet it was a shock for him.” Carole’s tone had an edge to it.

“He was rattled but I think he’ll make a full recovery.” Stepping closer to his lover, Kurt slipped the fingers of his left hand about Blaine’s right arm. Struggling with his words, he knew he could not tell his mother everything. 

“Hi Carole.” Blaine moved closer to his love for two reasons. One he wanted to hear and, two he wanted the comfort of being close to Kurt offered.

“Hi Blaine,” Carole responded.

The curly haired young man turned his attention back to his phone as if someone spoke to him. “No, no, just saying hello to my mother-in-law on the phone. Right, yes, they are in Washington. No, their son Kurt and I am staying here. Yes, okay. No, we have not seen anyone. Yes, thank you.”

“What’s going on?” Kurt looked to Blaine holding the phone, so Carole could hear.

Frowning, Blaine said loud enough for Carole to here, “The police are on the way. They want us to stay out of the house and to wait out front.”

“You have better do as they suggest.” Carole sounded upset. “Oh, hi Blaine. I’m sorry to hear about Dalton. You alright.”

Exchanging glanced with the man he adored, Kurt shook his head as if saying don’t say too much. Taking the hint, Blaine replied, “I think so. Dalton was a bit of a shock.”

“Sounds like the two of aren’t having a good day,” Carole stated. 

“That’s an understatement.” Kurt frowned.

“The two of you go wait on the drive way.” Carole’s voice had a commanding edge to it. “I’m going to text Burt and then I will call you right back.” 

“Okay, mom. Talk in a couple of minutes.” The phone went dark and Kurt looked to Blaine. Letting his head fall onto an always supportive shoulder with a heavy intake of air he closed his eyes.

“You alright, honey?” Stroking Kurt’s shoulder, Blaine’s right hand effortlessly slipped into a vacant left. “Let’s go wait by the car.” 

Kurt wrapped his fingers about Blaine’s and began to walk toward the side of the house. Looking back over his shoulder Kurt’s eyes hardened as if he looked for something.

Feeling drained and the tension in Kurt’s hand, Blaine absently stroked the hand holding his. Trembling form the chill air yet another reason to get emotions, he let out a long sigh and then replied, “That’s three.”

“Three?”

“They say bad things come in threes.”

“I don’t think I could take much more.”

“I love you Kurt and I’m here with you for the rest of our lives. We might have . . .”

“No, my love, please don’t. Nothing more needs to be said and please stop thinking about it.”

“It’s something hard to forget.”

“I suppose so, but I will be standing beside you all the way until death do us part.”

Bashfully smiling Blaine bumped his shoulder playfully into Kurt.

Running his hand up and down Blaine’s naked arm, Kurt glanced toward the sound of sirens wailed in the distance. “We’ve had aggravating days before, but this was not all bad.”

“Well one part of It was great.” Blaine smiled and then drew his husband into a soft kiss. “I liked they way you became an animal.”

“I hate to admit it, but it was exciting.”

“You think the next time we’ll get the same officer?”

“Maybe a fiery redhead.”

“How about a hunky blond with piercing green eyes.”

“I would prefer a short, adorable fellow with messy curly hair.”

“Is my hair messy?”

“Just a tad.”

“I need to find a mirror.”

Laughing, Kurt led Blaine out from the side of the house toward the car. “Really.”

Shaking his head, Blaine carded his free and through his unruly locks, “I must be frightful.”

Grinning, he nudged Blaine and said, “Never.”

“Ah-h-h-h.” The sound rolled from Blaine’s lips like a low rumble. Frisky banter eased the tension but did not prevent his eyes from finding the front door. From this angle everything appeared normal. 

Kurt gave his life partner an evil grin accompanied by a sensuous growl. 

“You’re changed, my dear,” Blaine grinned and then looked down the street. Flashing blue and red lights reflected of the homes and trees. 

“Marrying the sexiest man in the world will change anyone,” Kurt bobbed his head from side to side. “Thank you for trying to make feel better.”

Touching Kurt’s arm, Blaine whispered, “Twice today, you made me feel better. I thought I would return the favour.”

Setting a chaste kiss on the top of Blaine’s nose, Kurt glanced up the street where two sets of flashing lights came around the corner with their sirens off. “I think we should go to the end of the driveway.”

A moment later, two squad cars rolled up to a stop in front of the house with one pulling into the driveway. Four officers climbed out of the vehicles with hands on their guns. One of them called out, “Blaine Anderson-Hummel?”

Blaine waved and said, “I’m Blaine.”

“Please step toward me,” the same officer indicated they should approach with his hand. The three others fanned out to look about the exterior of the house. “Stay here. We don’t know if someone is in there.”

Two young men exchanged glances and then Kurt said, “We saw no one from the back porch.”

“They could have been hiding.” The officer looked over his shoulder to see a third police car came around the corner. Stopping just behind them the others, two more officers got out and moved to the back of the house. “Can I see some identifications?”

Looking at one another Blaine gave Kurt a look as he pulled out his driver’s licence, again.

Taking the plastic cards, the officer studied the two pieces of Identification and then looked at Kurt. “Congressman Hummel is your father?”

“Yes, he’s in Washington right now,” Kurt responded as he took his driver’s license back. “I talked to my mother, they know what’s happening.”

“Carole hasn’t called back,” Blaine abruptly pointed out as he nervously watched the house.

The sound of other dispatch call and the communications of those inside the house passed through the walkie talkie hanging from the officer’s hip. The hand unit attached to a strap on his shoulder. “What did you see?”

“Nothing really.” Blaine looked at Kurt. “The door was ajar, and the jam had been broken about the lock. Everything in the kitchen looked normal but I saw a mess in the living room.”

“We’re going through the house room by room. Does the congressman have an office in the house?” the officer asked.

“Yes, yes, it’s on the main floor next to the washroom.” A concerned look crossed Kurt’s face as he dug for his cell phone and hit speed dial.

The officer stepped away and started to speak into his shoulder mounted microphone. He talked to the officers on the inside while talking toward his comrades looking about the outside the house.

Looking less than pleased, Kurt looked down at his phone, “She’s not answering.”

“She probably trying to get hold of Burt.” Feeling a bit frazzled Blaine closed his eyes and drew in a heavy breath.

“You alright?” Kurt asked rubbing his husband’s arm and shifted a little closer. Worry tinged his tone.

“Yeah.” Looking at his husband, Blaine smiled. “It’s been a long day

Smiling, Kurt touched Blaine’s hand and then said, “I was looking forward to glass of wine and you on the couch.” 

“That would have been nice. “

“I guess we should think of finding a hotel.”

“We could stay with Rachel or Sam?”

At the mention of Sam, Kurt’s eyebrows twitched. “Let’s wait and see what happens where. They may let us in.”

“I think I can hold up a little longer.” Blaine looked toward the house knowing, while Kurt liked Sam, the blond had pushed his welcome in New York.

Stepping closer to the police car, Kurt rested his butt on the trunk with a sigh. Smiling at Blaine the delight in his eyes shown like the stars poking through the clouds. Lights flicked on inside the house across the street and next door. A door opened and Mr. Tubble stood there in his bath robe. The officer standing with two tried young men walked over and started to talk to him. 

Resting his rump on the side of the squad car next to his partner, relaxing took some of the pressure away. Unconsciously Blaine’s fingers sought Kurt’s. Fingers twisted about one another as they found solace in within their love for each other. An hour ago, sitting in a car sitting on the side of the road, they wallowed in heavy and draining sentiment. Kind words and tears chipped away at the great weight Blaine carried around for the past few months allowing him to process the depths of his emotions. It did not surprise him that Kurt knew something very serious bothered him. 

Holding each other, they accepted the darkest moments of their friendship and their love. Tonight, Blaine unzipped himself holding nothing back. For the first time since getting back together, they spoke with complete and unbridled honesty. Struggling with his thoughts Blaine told Kurt about the guilt rolling about in his heart for a few flighty seconds in the barn with Santana, Brittany and Sue eye forcing a response. Pain shot through his arms and legs and Blaine knew at that moment he could not allow the gloom to consume him. Facing the wall, he fell to one knee knowing there would be no other way to shatter the darkness caressing his heart. 

Holding Kurt’s hands, Blaine trembled. Stress pulled on his chest as hazel eyes stared up into bright blue seas. The world seemed to slow with each agonizing tick of the second. The pounding of his heart felt like feet running away into the distance. The adorable man drifted into thickening mists while the sounds of a sinister snickering caressed Blaine’s thoughts. A twinkle of blue shattered everything and then Kurt fell to his knees in front of Blaine. Those beautiful orbs glistened with moisture and then a single word broke the spell. Blaine found he could breath again. 

“I could use a bottle of wine right now,” Kurt moaned, and his head fell on the shoulder next to him. 

“Maybe the officer will let us go get one?” Blaine mused in an attempt to keep his spirits up. Kurt asked him to let it all go but raw emotion continued to pull at him. He knew his husband and the fact words could not easily over power sentiment.

Smiling, Kurt rubbed Blaine hand, Kurt suddenly jumped when one of Finn’s favourite songs blared from his phone. Swiping to pick up, he pressed the phone to his ear he said, “Mom?” 

Pushing off the car Blaine could hear a faint voice. Looking about he noticed beams of light flashed across the curtains on the inside. The last two officers to arrive slowly moved along the side of the house with flashlights pointed down at the garden and grass. The young officer walked back from the neighbour and approached his mates. 

Nodding with the words on the phone, Kurt eventually said, “The police are searching the house as we speak. We can’t go in until they say so. No . . . Yes . . . We need to find ourselves somewhere to sleep.”

Making a face, Kurt looked to Blaine who studied the three officers. Pouting he looked down to the street and then abruptly shifted his eyes to his lover with raised eyes brows. 

“What?” Distracted, Kurt blinked and the replied, “No, mom . . . no nothing’s happening. Blaine looks as if he thought of something.”

Making a face, Blaine frowned before saying, “We can stay at my mom’s place.”

“What about your dad?” Kurt blurt out with a surprised look.

Pushing his lips out, Blaine knew there would be trouble. “He’ll be home.”

“No, mom,” Kurt said into the phone. “Blaine says we can go to Pam’s. Yes, I know . . . but . . . Okay, let me tell him.”

Looking up, Kurt said to Blaine, “My mom talked to Pam earlier this evening. Your parents had another fight and he’s run off somewhere. You should call her.”

Shaking his head as Blaine turned around in a small circle. Letting out a long sigh, he tugged his phone out of his pocket and dialed. It rang a few times and just he would have hung up, someone spoke on the other side. “You alright mom?” 

“Blaine’s speaking to Pam right now,” Kurt eyes watched his husband bounce back and forth on his toes.

“Mom,” Blaine’s shoulder shrunk down, and he moaned, “Why do you . . . No . . . What happened this time?” 

“Yes, mom,” Kurt started to pace as he listened. Scratching the back of his neck he watched Blaine. “No, he looks upset.”

Head lowered, Blaine’s expression saddened, and he landed hard on his heels. “Yes . . . but did he . . . okay . . . Yeah, we stopped by the river and talked . . . No there is not much left . . . Mom you’re avoiding the issue . . . Okay, right, yes, mom, can we drop by this evening. We might need a place to sleep for the night. The house was broken into and the police are here . . . We’re fine . . . Yeah . . . I don’t think we can leave just yet, they’re still searching the house.”

Touching Blaine on the arm, Kurt said to his partner, “Carole’s catching the first flight out in the morning.”

Nodding, Blaine relayed the message to his mother and then said, “Where’s dad?”

A hand reached out slipped into Blaine’s right. Swinging the arm, Kurt gave his husband a reassuring smile. 

Blaine said into his phone, “You know how I feel about that . . . Yes, we will be along when we can. Did dad?”

Brows pulling together, not from listening to Carole but because of Blaine’s last statement, Kurt squeezed the hand he held. He bowed, Blaine’s head turned ever so slightly so he could gaze at Kurt.

“As long as he didn’t . . .” Blaine suddenly stopped as if someone interrupted. Sighing, he looked down the street to see another set of headlights turn the corner. 

“Yes, Carole,” Kurt followed Kurt’s eyes and frowned then the dark car pulled up behind the police cruiser. 

The officer who had stayed out front with the two young men walked down the driveway toward the new arrival. A man and a woman in dark suits got out of the car and flipped their identifications causing the officer’s attitude to suddenly changed. Stepping away from the two young men, they spoke quietly for a few moments and then pointed toward the side of the house where another officer looked at the flower beds with a flashlight. The woman looked to Kurt and Blaine as she listened to the officer.

“Mom, someone else had shown up and they’re probably want to talk to us. I try and call later but you should get some sleep. I love you.” Kurt said into his phone as he gazed at his childhood home. Hanging up, his heart felt heavy, but not because his inner sanctum had been invaded but more for the fact Blaine had a horrible day.

“I’m going to hang up, mom,” Blaine spoke softly into his phone as he watched the officer and the people in suits. “It looks like some detectives have shown up . . . Okay, I will call when we leave. Love you.”

Pushing his phone into his pocket, Kurt watched Blaine for a second and sighed. Frowning, he wiggled his lips and reached out stroking Blaine’s arm.

His head slightly lowered, Blaine smirked. Feeling self-conscious with all the eyes on them, he appreciated the sentiment. Grumpy and tired, his dreams of waking up on the couch curled up in Kurt’s arms spiralled away like yesterday’s dish water. Running a hand over his forehead and into his wavy hair, he blew Kurt a kiss.

The woman in a dark blue suit turned away from her companion and the police officer. Walking over she showed them an identify card and said, “I’m Special Agent Samantha Tobeaux of the FBI, which one of you is Kurt Anderson-Hummel.”

“I am,” Kurt put his hand up as if he faced a teacher. “You can call me Kurt and his is my husband Blaine.”

Without a hint of discomfort, Samantha went on, “The police contacted us when they found out the residence belonged to Congressman Hummel. Due to his elected position, the investigation falls under our jurisdiction. Our office has contacted Congressman Hummel and apprised him of the break-in”

“I was just talking to my step-mother Carole,” Kurt responded. “She’s catching the first flight from Washington this morning.”

The agent nodded and asked, “Can you tell me what you were doing this evening?”

Blaine gave the agent an off look and blurt out, “You’ve got to be kidding?”

Samantha revealed a hint of emotion when she grinned. “It’s all routine, Mr. Anderson-Hummel.”

Sighing, Kurt glanced at Blaine and said to the agent, “We went to McKinley High School for a while speaking to Mr. Schuester about the fire of Dalton Academy. When we left we went down to the river for a walk.”

“I see. When did you leave the river?” the agent calmly asked.

“About an hour and a half ago,” Kurt replied.

“And you only just got home now?” the agent asked.

“Yes,” Kurt’s voice had an edge to it.

Blaine suddenly added, “You can ask Officer Garcia. We spoke to him on the parking lot just before we left.”

The agent scribbled it down in her booklet. “What did you find when you arrived here?”

Blaine and Kurt told their story and the agent wrote it down while peppering them with qualifying statements. While polite, the manner of her questioning made Blaine fell dirty and aggravated. Then he remembered Burt’s held a position on a powerful committee in Washington. Drawing in a long but soft breath he admitted the agent remained respectful and professional. She used their married names—married names? Blaine’s heart abruptly pulled to the right at the thought of the union sealed with rings, a tender kiss ending and with signature on a piece of paper. Suddenly feeling numb, his brows scrunched up and his mouth pushed to one side. 

Special Agent Tobeaux gave Blaine a curious look.

“What?” Kurt asked with a puzzled look on his face.

Staring into Kurt, Blaine paled in the flashing lights of the police cars. Closing his eyes, he pulled in his lips and shook his head.

Looking concerned, the Samantha asked, “Mr. Anderson-Hummel, do you something else to add?”

Running a hand through his curls, Blaine answered, “No, not right now.”


	25. A Busy Day

“What do you meant it may not be legal?” Pam stared at her son and son-in-law with a blank expression. With Carole, who knocked on the door shortly after seven, they sat around the kitchen table nursing strong coffee. Everyone looked fatigued, but the boys appeared positively awful. The police and FBI made them wait until six wanting them there to identify missing items as the forensics team worked their way through the house. They managed to get perhaps an hour’s sleep leaning against each other in Carole’s car before an officer work them up. 

Shrugging Blaine blinked back a yawn and looked to Kurt who sagging the chair beside him. 

“Neither of us went to the county clerk,” Kurt’s face dropped with every beat of his heart. Holding Blaine’s hand, the two had hours to think about the issue and in the end, they kept coming up with the same bitter sweet prospect.

“We signed papers along with Burt, Rachel and Sam but where did they come from?” Blaine yawned and squeezed his eyes tight. Coffee no longer did it.

“We know Sue has done some shady things, but she seemed honestly enthusiastic about getting use to the altar but a fake license?” Kurt shook his head as a shiver ran up his back. “Not legal . . . gods?”

Kurt looked las if he could cry and Blaine, feeling not better, pleaded, “Honey?” 

“But to fake a license.” Shaking her head, Carole strangled down a growl. She expected to deal with a break-in, but this quickly took over. “No, she would not go that far.”

“Mom, we need to . . .” Kurt’s hand covered his mouth as he tried to suppress a deep yawn. 

Sniffling, Blaine wiped his eyes, “We can’t . . .”

Making a face, Carole shook her and then chucked down what remained of her coffee. The cup hit the tabletop with a thus when she said, “Why don’t the two of you go to bed.”

“Mom,” Kurt’s voice rose and even though he felt like a trodden rug, events had him wound up like a top. Shifting his seat, he stared helplessly at Blaine.

The fussy haired man’s cheek rested against hand supported by his elbow on the table staring at his wedding ring. With dark rings under his eyes he stared hopelessly at his coffee. Weary eyes shifting to Kurt he muttered, “Not marred?”

“Dear, go up and try to get some sleep.” Pam tapped her son on the arm. “If we have to we can do it all over again.”

Blaine sat up straight, “But?”

“No, buts Blaine,” Carole raked her nails loudly on the glass tabled top. “Now get you butts up to bed.”

Reaching out for Blaine’s hand he tugged at him. Too tired to argue, Blaine rose and kissed his mother on the cheek before following his husband toward the stairs. Hitting the bed without taking their clothes off, they barely kissed before sleep took them.

“Will you stop that,” Kurt sleepily grumbled. Tied up in a knot about his darling Blaine, he lay there blinking at the thin beam of light passing through the curtains. 

Rubbing a yawn out of his eyes, Blaine murmured, “Stop what?”

“Your legs are twitching. Please, turn off your brain.”

“What time is it?”

“I don’t know, maybe nine or ten.”

“Well that gives us a couple or three of hours.”

“I feel thick headed.”

“It was not a good rest.”

“My back hurts.”

“We nodded off fast enough.”

Rolling his head so he could see the man he loved clearer, Kurt said, “Blaine, paperwork or no paperwork I know you.”

“But . . .” Blaine cut himself off when he felt Kurt tense up. His partner had that stern, ‘are we going to argue’ look and his face and Blaine did not want that. 

“Blaine, please turn it off.” Kurt almost pleaded. “There’s nothing we can do until we talk to Sue. Now cuddle up to me an let’s get a little more sleep.”

Smiling at the dear man, Blaine slid closer and wrapped Kurt over him like a comforting blanket. Closing his eyes Blaine felt his legs tremble and the heaviness pull at his arms but in his mind, he checked items on the long tally sheet of events. It began with teasing fun followed by the jitters of a first kiss and, then, their first sexual moments which literally being blew his mind. Of course, they fought, made mistakes, breakup and got back together again but through all this Blaine never gave up hope. 

His head moved ever so slightly, and he smiled. Kurt purred so quietly but then his twitching told Blaine his lover teeter on the edge but would not tumble over the edge into full sleep. When a jolt rocked his body, Kurt stirred, and his eyes opened. Realizing they’re efforts proved useless, they kissed for a while and then dragged themselves out of bed. Cleaning up and changing, they headed to the kitchen to find agent Tobeaux sitting at the table with Carole. Blaine literally walked into Kurt when he suddenly stopped.

“Dad?” Kurt’s voice rose and octave. 

“Yup that’s me,” Burt said to the two young men as he opened the cupboard and pulled out two mugs. Peaking over his shoulder, he added, “It’s about time you got up. Sorry about Dalton, Blaine.”

Pain flashed in Blaine’s chest as he drew in a deep breath. “Thank you, Burt.”

“What are you doing here?” Kurt asked his dad as he eyes went to the FBI agent.

Giving his son a blank look, Burt poured coffee and offered them to the newlyweds. “My house got broken into, so what do you expect.”

Taking the offered libation, Kurt yawned and then muttered, “Oh, yes, right.”

After handing a mug to Blaine, Burt clapped his hand on his son’s back and added, “You were never been a morning person.”

“I haven’t had time to put on my face yet,” Kurt mused with a wink at Blaine.

“Its clear to go back into the house and look about,” Samantha said before sipping her coffee. “We can leave whenever you are ready.” 

The agent received a dirty look from Kurt at the suggestion.

Noting the look on her son-in-law’s face, Pam to said Carole, “You can borrow anything you need.”

Smiling, Carole nodded. “Thanks for letting us huddle here, Pam.”

Smiling at Pam, nodded and then looked at the agent, Burt asked, “I guess they took my computer.”

“Appears so.” Samantha answered. “Was there anything sensitive on it?”

Shaking his head, Burt said, “Business records, family stuff, that sort of thing. I keep my government stuff in a strong box.”

Looking as tired as the rest of them, the agent nodded and downed half her coffee.

Turning to his son, Burt asked, “Now what is this I hear your license may not be legal?” 

Blaine and Kurt exchanged looks and with a sigh, Burt’s son began to speak of his misgivings. During the process, the boys gulped down their coffee and grabbed a half empty container of muffins. Half an hour later three cars pulled up to the Hummel residence where a police car sitting out front. FBI Agent Scott stepped through the front door to greet his partner and shake hands with the congressman. Kurt hesitated when he stepped out of his mother’s car and sighed. Watching over the hood, Blaine trotted over to his husband and effortlessly slipped his right hand into a willing left. The two traded glances and then joined the others. 

Dangling wires marked the spot where Burt’s pride and joy, the huge television set, once hung on the wall. In an effort to get it off the wall the thieves twisted the mount damaging it. Shattered glass from a vase lay on the counter where blank spaces declared the absence of that DVD player and stereo. Someone had gone through the book shelves dumping items on the floor leaving Blaine with the idea they did it because they could. The doors to the china cabinet lay open and blank spaces marked the place where expensive figurines once sat. Shattered porcelain speckled the sideboard and the hardwood floors. Carole moaned because some of them dated back to the beginning of the last century. 

Moving around the main floor, the family looked from room to room. The kitchen remained as the boys had found it, untouched, but a missing computer and open desk drawers greeted them in the study. Burt paused and glanced back at the FBI agents following close behind. Walking over to a low cabinet next to the desk under the window, he pulled at the doors finding the lock broken. Frowning, he pulled a chair up and sat staring at a large strongbox secured to the floor by long bolts. Scrap marks suggested someone tried to get into it but with little luck. He gave the agents a relieved look, pulled out his keys and proceeded to unlock it. 

“I think we’ll go look around upstairs,” Kurt offered knowing his parents would need to speak about mattered with the agents. 

“We might be a while,” Burt said to Carole and then looked to his son.

Bending down to give her husband a kiss on the cheek, she looked to Kurt and Blaine and said, “I’ll come with you.”

Scratching his chin, Burt asked, “Kurt, you mentioned something about meeting Rachel and Sam?”

Looking at his watch, Kurt replied, “In about two hours.”

“I was thinking they could come with us when we march down to the school and confront Ms. Sylvester.” Blaine blinked and fought back a yawn. “If she keeps the same schedule she will be on the field harassing the Cheerios.”

“You want me to come with you?” Burt offered.

“Honey, you have to sort things out here,” Carole stated as he placed a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “I will go with them.” 

A few minutes later, Carole drew in a deep breath as she stared at her bedroom. The place looked like a tornado had gone through it with clothes all over the place, the mattress pushed off the bed and all the closets stood open. The locked drawer beside the bed where they kept cash on hand lay on the floor. A large scrap ran down the wall beside the bed as if someone dug a sharp tool into the chip rock. Glass from the broken mirror coated the dresser and the items normally sitting on it lay on the floor as if someone has swept them away all at once.

A hand came to rest over Carole’s mouth as tears rolled down her cheeks and in response her son embraced her. Joining in, Blaine felt Carole’s fingers wrap in his. Laying his head on her shoulder, a wave of fatigue raced through his body. Dalton and then his break down followed by the mess at the Hummel’s house wore him down. He just wanted the day to end.

Eventually, Carole took a step and the men let her go. Looking all about she wiped her eyes as she walked over to the dresser. Looking into the jewelry box, she froze. In a low, trembling voice, she said, “Finn’s football ring is missing.”

Blaine heard Kurt choke up and wrapped his hands about one of his arms. The spirit of his stepbrother continued to dance around them as he had on the stage. Together they watched as Carole stepped back with a look on her face the boys found hard to describe. Slowly, she looked about and then bent down to draw a red sweatshirt from a pile of discarded clothes. Holding it to her chest she buried her face into it. 

One husband both felt and heard the other draw in a deep, emotional breath. Layering his hand into Kurt’s shoulder, Blaine squeezed and then said in a quiet voice, “Let’s leave her alone for a little bit.”

Letting out a shaky breath, Kurt glanced at his lover and painfully nodded. Stepping back without turning, blue eyes remained locked on his stepmother as she lowered herself slowly onto the box spring. Stepping into the hall, he whispered, “Giving her some space is the right thing to do, even though it’s killing me. Carole cherished Finn’s ring and wore it for weeks after he died. The day she took it off became a turning point, but I knew she slipped in on now and then just because she could.”

Shaking his head, Blaine enveloped Kurt holding him close. In a soft voice he asked, “You alright, my love?”

“Yes . . . no . . . I’m not sure.”

“It feels as if yesterday never ended.”

“Yeah.”

“Come on, lets go look in our room.”

“I don’t know if I want to, but I guess we should?”

Kurt’s room looked like a disheveled teenager’s domicile where the mother refused to clean up. Standing just in the door, Kurt felt violated. The bed looked ruffled up as if the two woke from a morning of tussled sex with the fake fur comforter Blaine party laying half on the floor. Someone rummaged dresser and empty hangers in the closet provided evidence several articles of clothing no longer resided there. The contents from upturned suitcases lay everywhere attesting to the fact nothing had gone untouched.

His stomach stinking into his bowels, Kurt slowly stepped through the threshold and paused. “Our laptops are gone,” 

“Our wedding and . . . pictures.” Blaine choked on the words sniffing back tears. 

Rubbing Blaine’s arm, Kurt glanced about the room and then peered to the man beside him. “Dearest, it’s alright, they’re still on our phones.”

“I copied mine over.” Blaine sounded more than a little upset.

Drawing Blaine into a hug, Kurt rested his head on the other man’s shoulder the just held on looking for the warmth and compassion of the man he loved. Feeling himself fall into the hug, Blaine thanked himself for not giving up on the dream known as Kurt. The thought caused a spike to twist his heart and the drew in a deep breath. If he had not smartened up none of this would be happening and Kurt would be standing here facing one of the most upsetting moments in life by himself. Shuddering, Blaine pushed the thought from his mind but also accepted crying and a conversation marked the start of the healing process.

Shifting his head, something missing on the bookshelf caught Blaine’s attention. Letting out a puff of air he moaned, “The picture of us at prom is missing.”

Pulling himself up straight, Kurt scanned the room and his heart fell. “The wedding picture I framed for the side of our bed is gone too.”

“And your prom scepter.”

“The little box you gave me to put . . .”

“It a bloody mess,” Blaine said to Rachel sitting across from him in a booth at Breadstix. With Kurt at his side he still felt raw and his fourth cup of coffee barely got a rise out of him. 

“Laptops, pictures, a few odd books, items of clothing and a silk blend pillow case all gone,” Kurt finished and then took a bite of his sandwich.

“Silk blend?” Sam questioned while gnawing on cheese bread. “I guess they needed something swanky to carry things in,”

Kurt gave Sam a dirty look while he chewed.

“At least you didn’t walk in on them,” Sam commented with a quick look to Rachel.

Popping a tomato slice in his mouth, Blaine slid other hand down Kurt’s thigh. The muscle under the fabric pulsed bringing a small smile to Blaine’s lips. “It’s disturbing and more than a little frightening to think someone dug through our stuff?”

“My house was broken into when I was twelve.” Rachel sadly pushed her food around on her plate. “It felt so weird going back there but the feeling wears off.”

“That’s only a third of it. You heard about . . .” Kurt stopped suddenly when Sam cut in.

“Dalton burning, now really that sucks,” the blond blurt out. 

“It gets rid of . . .” Rachel suddenly cut herself off and glared at Sam as if he did something to annoy her. 

Blaine’s expression hardened but he let it go. He had other things on his mind. “It gets worse. Kurt and I may not be legally married.”

“What?” Rachel almost choked on the air she breathed in as she turned away from Sam. 

Stunned, Sam’s eyes blinked while his forehead crinkled up. “I was there, and you were married.”

Kurt held Blaine’s hand firmly. “We never applied for a license.”

“You signed it.” Rachel leaned forward with a confused look on her face. “I signed it.”

“But . . .” Blaine picked up his coffee and chucked down a large portion hoping to refresh his flagging mind. “. . . we never applied for one so where did it come from?”

“There has to be an explanation,” Sam stated with all innocence. “I can’t have my two favourite gays break up again.”

Blaine glanced at Kurt and then the two of them sighed.

“Your wedding was not fake. I was there and saw it.” The words emotionally tumbled from Sam thick lips. “I almost peed myself when I saw the two of you in black. You two are as married as married can be. I’m so jealous and if you have to go through it again, I’ll be there.”

No one spoke for a short while as Rachel glanced at the three men sitting with her. Slowly she got the determined, ‘I am going to do something’ look many dreaded. “I guess we’re going to McKinley.”

A little while later, four young adults walked down the halls of their old school accepting nods and hellos from students they knew. For two of them it felt odd, almost alien, to be in these halls at this time. Married at young age they should still be celebrating but matters conspired against them. Avoiding the music room, they made for the gymnasium where the expected to find an obnoxious woman either in class or in her office. Encountering Kitty along the way, in true Rachel style, she sent her packing.

They found the self-professed coach of the year in her office sitting behind the deck polishing one of her many trophies. Adorned in the same boring sweat suit, one of the Cheerios stood in front of her desk with her hand folded before her with her head slightly down. The young. lean brunette with a pimply face did not look happy and for good reason, Sue had that tempest look about her.

“You can take those tight panties off and run them up a flagpole if you want, but I will not be besmirching my name because you demand a piece of the action. Just ask the miscreants standing at my door,” Sue looked up from the piece of brass she rubbed a cloth with an uncaring glare. “Now run along and stuff that bra of yours. it looks as if I have some illustrious Old Directions fouling the air.”

The tiny brunette made a face and squeezed past Kurt facing Blaine. The former student stepped back bumping into Rachel when a hand pressed against his thigh a little too close to the mark.

Turning away from the door Sue pretended she did not have company. Blowing on the trophy, Sue buffed it with a cloth without looking at her guests. Finally, asked in a low and somewhat harsh tone, “What can I do for you porcelain, little Burt Reynolds, fish lips and Missy Bad Sitcom. You lose your way to the kiddie room down the hall.”

With Sam and Rachel to the rear, Blaine stepped into the office and crossed his arms. Glaring at Sue, he said, “We need to have a word with you.”

“Oh, I’m tingly with anticipation,” Sue did not look up as she turned the trophy over. “Well on with it, little man, I haven’t got all day. I have a something I need to do, and your annoying presence is such a bother. Besides, the smell of all that hair gel is making me nauseous.

Walking up so he stood right in front of the desk, Kurt asked in a firm and low voice, “Was the marriage license legal?”

A funny smirk pulled Sue’s lips wide and then she chuckled. Swiveled in her chair and she put the trophy down on a low cabinet a little too much force. “Would I do that, needle nose and tiny person?”

“Yes,” the four former students said all at once.

Sue chuckled an evil chuckle and rolled her eyes. “How little you know me.”

“You blew up a piano,” Blaine almost growled

“You blackmailed Blaine into signing up for the Cheerios,” Kurt tried to keep his anger in check.

With a disgusted looked, Sam said, “And bolted a bathroom stall to the music room floor.”

“You took our Christmas presents,” Rachel moved into the office and stood by the wall. 

“You’ve yelled and berated all of us at some point. You locked Blaine and I in an elevator,” Kurt’s voice started out in a low tone and rose as he spoke.

A grinning, Sue turned to face the mob. “And where did that get you, porcelain?’

Dark eyebrows pushing together, Blaine glanced at Kurt. In a tone which started off proudly and the waned, Blaine replied, “Married . . . maybe?”

“Married, indeed you are,” Sue sounded like Yoda and gave them a high am mighty Cheshire cat smile.

“But is it legal?” Sam complained from where he stood leaning against the door frame. Arms crossed the gazed at Sue with hard eyes. 

“Oh, trout lips, still not an original thought under all that peroxide.” Sue turned to face Sam giving him a ‘what are you doing her’ look. Snorting, she rolled her eyes. “The clerk of the county office in rural place you got hog tied told me it was. You even signed a power of attorney giving the permission to act on your behalf.”

“What?” Kurt blurt out.

With purpose, Sue slowly walked over to a filing cabinet. Reaching down into to her cleavage she extracted a chain with a key on it. Setting it to the lock, the mechanical device clicked, and she pulled it open allowing the heavy scent of potpourri wafted about the office. First, she pulled out a dirty softball which she turned in her hand with a fond smile. Next appeared a single white sock with an odd yellow stain on it. Sniffing it, she tossed it on her chair. One eyebrow raised, she her head bobbed back and forth before looking into the cabinet again. Taking out a small wooden, she turned it over in her hands and carefully placed in on top of the cabinet. Glancing at Blaine she gave him a strange look and then pulling out a blue puppet resembling Kurt.

Embarrassed Blaine glanced away even as his three friends looked at him. With a sigh her said to Kurt, “I’ll explain later.”

Smirking, Sue place the hand puppet on her desk in a seated position with its legs spread wide. Digging into the drawer once more, she extracted a large, beige envelop. Flipping it back and forth before her face she pranced over to her chair and heavily dropped into it. Playing with it for few moments, she opened it and withdrew a sheet of paper. “Do you remember those school papers I had you both sign when you, Kurt, came back to Lima with you tail between your legs chasing the tiny man here?”

Glancing at Blaine, Kurt weakly smiled and then his head pulled up. “Are you talking about the one about the auditorium?”

“Beneath those bogus papers lay the power of attorney you both signed, and our failed Broadway star witnessed.” Swiveling behind her desk, Sue had triumphant grin on her face. “I layered them and bamboozled you. A word to wisdom from the wise, you need to read what you are signing.”

Four young adults stared at one another and then Rachel chimed up, “You had us running around in circles.”

“Yes, I did but, so don’t thank me all at once.” Sue purred and then handed the paper to Kurt and then suddenly paused. Frowning, she dug back into the envelop and pulled out another piece of official looking paper. “You’ll need this as well. It’s a notarized copy of the original marriage application witnessed by a lawyer who owes me a few favours for saving his ass.”

Giving Sue an odd look, Blaine held his hand out.


	26. Surprises

Blaine had no idea what to expect when he prepared for the move for real. Carefully going through his belongings, he pulled out his check list he had made when he graduated. He sat there for a long time reconsidering what to do and how living together would determine the large items he needed to bring. Rachel held the lease for the loft for a few more months and pressured them to take it over but if they wanted to save money, the loft would not do. After everything they endured Blaine felt they needed something to call their own. Bringing this up to Kurt went no where and not wanting to get into a fight, Blaine tempered his passions. He hated the idea the expense of the loft would force them to live paycheque to paycheque. 

The dear man Blaine married surprised him with a set of keys when they stopped in front of a strange building in an unknown neighbourhood. A little dumbfounded, Blaine listened as Kurt explained he arranged for the apartment during their honeymoon. Subleasing it from a friend from school who moved to California, it looked like most building in New York. Kurt prepaid the first three months rent ensuring it remained theirs during he period between his friend moving out and the lovers moving in. In the interim the land lord redid the small kitchen and painted. 

Situated on the fourth floor of a well maintained and secure five-story brick walk steps Herbert von King Park, Kurt knew it well. With a police precinct and a good-sized grocery store a couple of blocks away, the neighbourhood offered some shopping and a couple of coffee houses. Three large windows looked out onto the building across the street and from the fire escape they could see the park. Kurt knew the green space would make Blaine happy because all the concrete made him feel confined.

Burt and Carole helped by driving a rental truck with the boys trailed behind in Burt’s sport utility vehicle. Their first day in New York did not last long because they arrived in the evening. The three men spent a couple of hours carrying stuff up the stairs while Carole busied herself cleaning though it did not need it. She stuck her head in cabinets and scrubbed out fridge, stove and bathroom leaving Kurt feeling a little put out. Kurt being Kurt knew his home would be spotless, but Burt warned him to let Carole be. He told the boys she became emotional when they drove into the massive city. Kurt relented knowing Carole needed this to make her feel she left her boy, her last boy, with a good start.

Someone stayed with the truck at all times because Kurt did not trust leaving it alone. When they hauled the heavy stuff up, Carole took a shift and then ventured out in search of dinner. When she came back the truck no longer blocked one lane of the narrow street. Blaine explained father and son returned it to the rental agency, but Blaine suspected they needed a little private time. When they got back, Blaine and Carole had the bed set up and the made some room for the four of them to eat the food she kept warm in the European sized oven. Bringing a couple of bottles of wine back with them, the four of them sat about chatting. That night Burt and Carole slept on the bed while the boys curled up on a pile of clothing to make a lumpy mattress. 

Day two started with them going out for breakfast and then returning to build some of the shelving they bought in Lima. That afternoon they ate lunch in the park on a blanket talking about the future and times gone by. A little while later Burt received a call which sent two young men jumping about—his attorney confirmed the legality of their nuptials. The boys insisted on paying the legal costs, but the congressman and his wife refused. Burt treated the family for dinner followed by a walk in the park. The fact several families played with their kids and a soccer game occupied an open area helped Carole relax. While the neighbourhood looked nice, she needed to see these things to ease her fears.

Shortly after breakfast the next morning, sad parents said their goodbyes and drove home. With a quivering lip Kurt watched them turn the corner with Blaine’s arm resting across his shoulder. He hated to see them leave but he had a new life to make with his husband. Hand in hand, two young men ran upstairs and christened the new home. Ripping off their cloths and tumbling into the bedroom they found a card on their bed with a large sum of money inside.

It took a few days to get everything they wanted it and to get rid of all the boxes. Pushing the queen-sized bed against the wall gave them a little more room for two dressers they stacked on top of each other. Both could barely stand in the bathroom at the same time, but it made for fun, almost intimate mornings. The living, slash, dining room needed a few things because they did not have a lot of large furnishings. Rachel insisted they take the futon from the loft and a couple of other things, but the dining table would not fit. The walls still needed something, and an large rug would spice up the living room but for now it worked. Together, they carefully mapped out their expenses and Blaine started looking for a job. The former Warbler lucked out when a local coffee bar wanted him to start the week before Kurt returned to NYADA. 

“I still haven’t heard anything,” Blaine complained while unplugging his razor and putting it away in the cheep cabinet he picked up at an apartment sell. “I’m probably going to have to wait until next semester.”

“A reply might be stuck in the postal loop between here and Lima,” Kurt commented from the from the other room.

Blaine pulled his lips to one side as he examined his cheek. It looked like he might be sprouting a blemish. “You put in the change of address, didn’t you?” 

“Yes,” Kurt sounded a little exasperated. “At least you got an interview.”

“Madam Tibideaux can be hard." Blaine splashed water up on his face as he leaned over the bathroom sink. He tolerated the little room but knew a coat of colour would make it nicer. He thought the apartment a bit small, but it grew on his as the days stretched on. 

“I worry,” Kurt said as he popped his head through the door which a crisp light blue shirt pulled over his shoulder but open in the front. 

“About what?” Blaine turned and smiled his adoring husband. Daily living had it challenges but they both agreed to compromise and the rings on their fingers became a proud pronouncement they would be there for the long haul.

“I just sometimes do.”

“I’m a brooder, as you keep reminding me.”

“Come off it, Blaine, I don’t like seeing you always dragging yourself down.”

“With you next to me I can thing of more pleasant ways to be dragged down.”

“We’re having a serious conversation here.”

“We are?”

Rolling his eyes, Kurt stepped into the tiny bathroom and kissed his husband on the cheek. “You’re such a bugger, but a bugger I love.”

“You know, your nose twitches when you’re angry and your eyes twinkle when you’re aroused,” Blaine said with an impish grin. 

“And your standing there naked, what do you expect.”

“Fun is one of the many reasons I married you. Now what’s the issue.”

“I’m going back to classes on Monday and I’m going to miss you.”

“It’s Friday and we can deal with that on Monday.”

Leaning his head on Blaine’s shoulder, Kurt pouted. 

‘I don’t want to get in your face like last time.”

“Elliot will put you in your place, again.”

“Ha, ha.” Blaine smiled and reached back placing his arms around Kurt. “As long as he isn’t here when I finish my shift. I might have other things on my mind.”

Grinning, Kurt rubbed his lover’s back.

Gazing at their reflection in the mirror, Blaine whispered, “We’ve grown up.”

Racking his fingers down Blaine’s baby smooth, freshly shaved face, Kurt said, “A little bit.”

Smirking, Blaine glanced down at himself and then pressed back against Kurt. Wiggling his rump, he said, “I don’t think my brother will appreciate my nakedness as you do, so let me get dressed.”

“Party pooper.”

“One time you said you didn’t know how to do sexy but then I look at your face and . . . wow”

“Time for me to keep a fantasy while you slip on some of that ball hugging underwear of yours.”

“I’ll show you ball hugging.” Blaine turned and kissed Kurt on the nose. “Do you have any idea what he’s up to?”

“When he phone he said we need to dress up.” Shrugging, Kurt cupped Blaine’s firm buns as his husband squeezed by. “Other than that, I know as much as you do.”

Handsome and sought-after television star Cooper Anderson called up to let them know he had arrived and waited for them downstairs. Blaine wondered why he did not come up until he pushed the front door to the building open and blinked. Wearing a suit made for an award’s ceremony, Cooper stood next to a black limousine with a big grin on his face. Coming up behind Blaine, Kurt tapped his husband on the shoulder and walked on. A younger brother started to say something but then Cooper shushed him and pointed at the open door. Ducking down, Blaine gave his brother a look and climbed in to find Kurt sitting in the middle of the rear seat. Not the common party limousine, the vehicle had two swivel chairs on one side facing an entertainment system and mini-bar with a bench seat at the back. Sitting in one of the chairs, Blaine smiled the man he adored. 

Poking his head in the car, Cooper gave Blaine a look and then stated, “No, little bro, you sit beside your cute hubby.”

Frowning, Blaine shook his head and went to sit beside Kurt who scooted toward the door. Right hand slipping into left, Blaine gave his brother a look and Cooper shook his head while pressing a finger to his lips. 

Pulling the door shut behind him, Cooper squeezing past Kurt’s legs and sat in one of the swivel chairs. Beamed at the adorable dual, without a word as he popped the cork on a champagne bottle. Carefully pouring, the liquid swirled as the car softly rolled forward.

Holding out a flute for Kurt followed by his brother, Cooper raised his and fondly gazed at the young couple. “Surprise and congratulations.” 

“Cooper?” Blaine could not keep it in any longer

Ignoring his little brother, Cooper finished his statement, “To my brother and his wonderful husband. Your wedding has been a long time coming. I am so happy for you both.”

Staring at his brother, Blaine felt suddenly emotional. Lifting his glass with his left hand, he glanced at Kurt followed by the tender twang of crystal touching crystal reverberated about them. Both took a sip and then kissed. 

“Thank you, Coop. This is sweet.” Blaine smiled at his big brother with a fondness they rarely shared.

Nodding, Kurt shyly smiling at Blaine and then turned to Cooper and reiterated, “Yes, thank you.”

“I’m still pissed at the two of you for not waiting for me.” Cooper took another sip of the bubbling liquid and grinned. “I would have loved to have given my little brother, away. Dad certainly would not have.” 

“At least you had the balls to say your pissed. Dad just simmered and made snarky remarks.” Blaine commented and then he looked down as if his words spoiled something. 

“I hate to say it, but your dad makes me nervous,” Kurt admitted with a squeeze of Blaine’s hand. “Every time he sees me I think he’s going to punch me.”

Cooper responded with a straight face. “He blames you for corrupting his son.”

Almost choking on the champagne, Blaine defended his lover, “He caught me jerking off to gay porn long before I met Kurt.”

“He caught me too, but with the straight version. He was happy about it too.” 

“You were always the perfect son. Handsome, successful and a lady killer.”

“Don’t cut yourself short, Blaine. Okay, you’re short, but you’re more talented than I am.”

Brows pressing together, Blaine felt Kurt pressed his fingers against his. The man beside him saved him from questioning his brother’s comments. 

Changing the subject, Kurt asked Cooper, “Where are we going?” 

“No, no, brother-in-law, you’re not going to get me to ruin the surprise.” Cooper smiled that devastating smile of his.

“I guess we’re just out for a ride?” Blaine looked about the back of the car noting how the long vehicle smoothly turned corners as it headed for a major thoroughfare.

“That’s about it.” Cooper smiled and sipped his drink. “You know at one time I thought I would never be celebrating?”

“Oh?” Kurt’s eyebrows went up.

Cooper deliberately spoke before his brother could respond, “I remember when brothers went down to the river and I let Blaine cry on my shoulder.” 

Glaring at her brother, Blaine shook his head in attempt not to blow his top. “Cooper, why are you bringing this up?”

Noting not only his brother’s discomfort, but Kurt’s as well, Cooper said in a soft tone, “I think it puts things in context.”

Letting out a sigh, Blaine did not like where his brother took this. “Listen Cooper, the two of us have talked and we both recognized there is some healing still to be done. We do . . .”

“Ow-w-w-w-w, little bro,” Cooper cut Blaine of by holding up one hand as if saying, ‘calm down’. He then looked to Kurt and sighed with a frown. “Well, I screwed that up. Just hear me out, please.”

To young men glanced at one another and Kurt made a whimsical face. Sighing, Blaine said to his brother, “Okay, lets hear it.

“First I am sorry for my clumsiness. It has never been easy between us Blaine and now that I am older, I get it.” Cooper took a long draft of his drink. “When I first met Kurt, I knew you were meant for one another. I just did not know the depth of your commitment until, my talented little brother showed me how deep his love truly was. I never saw, my little Blaine so upset nor have ever seen anyone so much in love. Cheers to you Blaine and to Kurt.”

“Here, here,” Kurt beamed as he raised his glass before Blaine could offer a rebuttal. 

Looking at his brother as if he glanced over glasses, Cooper asked, “Was that better?”

“I never really thanked you.” Blaine smiled and then touched his flute to the two already held up. Tightening his grip on Kurt’s hand, in his way, Blaine accepted his lover’s support.

Smiling, Cooper downed champagne and then reached for the bottle. Topping the lovebirds up first, he added the what remained to his flute. “I can only hope one day I will have what you two have. Yours is an honest love of soulmates parted and then brought back together gain.”

How true, old Blaine thought. During the turbulent beginnings of a great life together, he often dreamed of two men in a quaint English setting and, as the years rolled on, his heart won over logic. He knew Kurt far too well for just one life and even with death sneaking up on him, the lovely man still moved him. Yes, they squabbled like two proud men would, but this underlying sensation of ageless togetherness seethed through everything they did creating a sense of comfort.

The old man recalled the surprise to come with fond warmth. The long car snaking its way between the massive tower of Manhattan. Time Square came and went as the three of them talked about Cooper’s career, their future and of course, Cooper’s career once again. In that regard, the brothers did not change much as the years dragged on. A big brother congratulated his younger sibling when he won his first major award. By the time another statue sat on the shelf next to his husband’s, Cooper became envious. While his own career took off with a huge movie roll, Cooper received only one nominated and no reward.

Thinking about his brother made an old man smile. Even though their games went on throughout the years, he loved Cooper and missed him. With fondness he recalled the surprise Cooper orchestrated the delights of a fun evening. The long black car pulled up into a park on the Hudson River into a curving drive. A moment later the door swung open as the driver stood there holding it while, first Kurt, followed by Blaine and finally his brother piled out. Two young men glanced at one another as Blaine’s older brother thanked the drive and slipped him a few large bills. Leaning in, he asked him to park the car and return because a table waited from him inside. Looking pleasantly surprised the driver smiled and inclined his head.

Walking up the path, Cooper held the door for the newlyweds with a smile. Once inside he stepped around them toward a smartly dressed young lady with long brunette curls standing next to a pedestal. In a soft, polite tone, Cooper said to her, “I believe there is a reservation for Anderson and another one for our driver who will be here in a few moments.”

“Oh, yes, Mr. Anderson,” the pretty hostess replied with a flushed smile as if she recognized the actor. “We have the table you requested. Please come with me.”

Stepping into the main seating area, Blaine glanced about. Happy dinners occupied most of the tables providing a bubbly atmosphere of varied conversations. Fine linens, china, silverware and sparkling glassware set a high standard while in the background soft, piano music made for a nice backdrop. The young lady led them through the maze of tables to one set for three against the big curving window looking out onto the summer deck with the Jersey lights sparkling on the river beyond. An arch rose from the outside wall over toward wall separating the building in two. Exposed wood and muted Mexican red-brown tones accented with paintings and lush plants made for an inviting venue. 

The twinkling city across the river mixed with the subdue lighting where arching glass met the floor made for an intimately romantic spot. The hostess pulled out chairs for each of them allowing them to sit. Then she withdrew inclining her head to the handsome, middle aged waiter who approached with menus in hand. A little shorter than Blaine, he gave those at table a bright, cheery smile and polite nod. Carrying himself with pride he held his back straight and walked with purpose. In a quiet, Greek accent he said, “Welcome gentlemen, my name is Phillip and I will have the honour of being at your disposal this evening. Can I get you something to drink?”

“I would like a bottle of Salon Blanc de Blancs Le Mesnil-sur-Ogerplease, and keep another in reserve,” Cooper replied to the Phillip with a gently smile. 

The waiter’s eyes brightened and then he smiled through a short bow.

Watching the waiter leave, Kurt turned to Cooper and said, “This is nice, but you didn’t have too.”

“No, but I want to.” Cooper beamed and then winked at his brother.

“I’ve walked by this place several times but have never been in side it,” Blaine added with a wonderous grin. “The menu looked inviting.”

“I’ve been here before and have always found it pleasant,” Cooper commented as he glanced about. “Now don’t hold back, either of you. This is your night.”

“Coop?” Blaine objected.

“No butts until you get home,” Cooper joked, and he handed Kurt a small envelope.

Taking it, Kurt turned it over making a face.

Grinning, Cooper said, “I couldn’t exactly carry it on the plane with me, so call the number and they’ll deliver it. Don’t ask because I’m not telling.”

Choosing not to argue, Kurt looked to Blaine and then back at Cooper. “Thank you.”

“I only have one little brother and while I can be an ass, I love him.” Cooper winked at Kurt.

Beaming, Blaine took Kurt’s hand in his and placed it on his thigh. Not caring what others might say, he leaned in and kissed him passionately. 

“Ah, that’s sweet,” Cooper drooled when the two younger men parted.

“We try,” Blaine commented watching the reaction of some of the people seated around them. Most did not care but a few gave him sour looks.

“I bet you do?” Cooper winked and then glanced over to the waiter and nodded.

Dinner progressed at a nice even pace with the three men sharing stories. As usual Cooper tried to monopolize the conversation, but he also wanted to know about the wedding. Kurt pulled out his phone and Cooper asked about each picture and the truth about how they ended at the altar. With the occasional jab at her little brother, Cooper knew when to pull back and make the boys laugh. Once they had sated themselves, Cooper scribbled something on a small card and asked the waiter to take it over to the driver who sat at a table near the bar. 

Eying up the waiter as he left, Cooper said to Blaine and Kurt with smug expression. “I ask the driver to bring the car up.”

“Thank you, Cooper,” Kurt said. “This was lovely.”

“The evening’s not over yet,” Blaine’s older brother replied with a straight face.

Blaine gave his older sibling a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll see, and I don’t argue.” The older Anderson sipped on the last of the champagne. “There’s one more stop and then you guys can crash with me at my hotel.”

“Coop, we can go home,” Blaine objected.

“Not on your life, little bro.” Cooper gave him one of those Hollywood smiles. “Tonight, and tomorrow is all on me. After than you can go home and make out like rabbits.”

The boys blushed ever so slightly and then Blaine downed his water. Hazel caught blue and then Kurt smirked and rolled his head back and forth. “Okay, we’re yours to use and abuse.”

“I’ll leave that part up to you two.” Cooper happily smiled and then gave the couple a strange look. “I’m so jealous of you two.”

“Oh?” Kurt gave his brother-in-law a questioning look.

“You’ve been flighty little lovebirds since I met Kurt and probably long before that.” Cooper eyebrows rose and fell. “You’ve grown so much and have reached passed the stubborn reality of the la la years of being teenagers. You see the reality of the world and have the battle scars to prove it. I can only hope I have such luck.”

Puzzled by the statement, Kurt’s brow furrowed. “You must have your scars?”

Rolling his eyes Cooper grinned. “More than you can imagine but you two are so good for each other.”

“Yeah, it has not been easy, but I had to break my heart to find out.” Suddenly realizing his mistake, Blaine leaned over kissing him on the cheek.

An old brother pointed a finger at his sibling giving him a firm look. “That’s part of being a teenager. You kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, but in your case, it took only one. Now, let me pay the bill and we’ll move on with this little adventure.” 

Ten minutes later they walked to the street where the driver held the door with a smile. Cooper asked him about his dinner and the driver happily said he enjoyed it very much. Patting the man on the shoulder, Cooper asked him for his card telling him that he will be using him again the next time he travels to New York. Grinning, the driver knew better than to say no to a celebrity and did the smart thing by having Cooper sign another business card. As they drove down the street headed toward the village, Blaine noted the driver popped it into a little notch in his sun visor where other could see it.

Traffic did not compete with the rush-hour, but it still took time to weave up the streets to a large, brick building with flashing neon over the door. Metal poles with thick corded ropes held the crowd of mostly men against the wall and out of the sidewalk. Two solidly built men stood in front of a bright yellow door beside a small indented station with a light. The people at the head of the line chatted them up hoping they would be let in. 

The car pulled up to the curb and the driver, knowing the game, got out and opened the rear sidewalk door. Climbing out first, Cooper smiled at the neon and nodded to the driver asking him to be back at closing. Briefly glancing back at his brother, Cooper stepped away from the car and approached the doormen. Standing on the sidewalk, the newlyweds exchanged glances and for a moment Blaine imagined being on the red carpet. The people outside New York’s hottest gay bar stared curiously and some even took pictures. A few moments later, Cooper returned to his brother and together they slipped past the hundred-odd people left standing in the dim light.


	27. Cameras

Sometime during the night, they lost themselves in the huge king-sized bed. Kurt startled Blaine out of a drink induced sleep with his flaying about in search of the man he loved. When feet finally discovered one another, two bodies quickly wrapped together, and they effortlessly fell asleep again. Hours later Blaine rested against Kurt messaging the sweat into a hairless chest. Finger rolled over a nipple and the dozing man shuddered. 

The sun hung in the sky shining through a slit in the drapes announcing the day began long ago. Elliot and several friends from NYADA waited for them inside in a private section of the club. The presence of Santana and Brittany surprised the two young men who soon found themselves engrossed in a terribly fun evening of dancing and drinking. Sly Cooper arranged everything long in advance, but it took a feisty blond to guilt Santana into agreeing especially since they would be in New York anyhow. Of course, Brittany insisted they do this again on top of meeting every year on their anniversaries. Santana and the boys agreed to forget about it claiming the drank too much. 

Thump . . . thump . . . thump, the sound pleased Blaine. A beating heart became a metronome of each day of his life with Kurt. He loved listening to the steady beat and all it meant. The euphoria of the wedding had not fully worn off yet and finally knowing the paper work had the legal stamp eased festering fear. It ticked one item off the internal checklist the meanderings of life would always be adding to. Oddly, Blaine looked forward to challenge. He wanted to bask in the day-to-day glory of life with his adorable husband. 

“You’re twitching,” Kurt stated with a soft moan as his head moved away from the light. A leg lazily moved against another bringing a small smile to his face.

Laying his hand flat against Kurt’s chest, softly Blaine replied, “You got me all worked up and I can’t fall back to sleep.” 

“What is it this time?”

“Morning.”

“Ha ha. What are you thinking?”

“Nothing Earth shattering. I was brooding about lying here with you.”

“That’s not brooding.”

“Oh, yes, it is, but it’s a good brooding.”

“Well you gave me a good brooding this morning. I like waking up to my playful curly top.”

“It’s one of my favourite parts of the day.” Blaine paused and sighed.

Rolling under Blaine’s weight, Kurt propped himself up on one arm. The fuzzy haired man’s head fell on the pillow with a pout. Craning his neck, Blaine found himself staring into oceans of sparkling blue and a toothy smile. Kurt hovered there only a couple of inches from his nose. In a low, soft voice Blaine said, “We always seem to end up in his position.”

“It’s so natural because I can see your soul through your eyes.” Kurt kissed Blaine’s nose. “Your brother’s a sexy dancer.”

“Kurt! Ewwwww. He’s my brother?”

“And he can’t be sexy?”

“And I’m not?”

“Your brother did not give me a lap dance last night. That honour is restricted to someone very special.”

“Oh, who would that be?”

Ruffling those curly locks, Kurt moved his head from side to side smiling, “You’re such a brat.”

“You love it?” Blaine winked. 

Kissing Blaine, Kurt smiled. “I’m so lucky.”

“We both are”

“Cooper wasn’t when he got into it with Santana.”

“She’s a cheap drunk but Brittany is happy and that is all that counts.”

“Indeed, and so am I.”

“You always say the right things, Mr. Anderson-Hummel.”

“Why thank you, Mr. Anderson-Hummel.” Blaine’s eyes went to the double doors leading to the living room. “I think I heard Cooper moving about out there.”

“He’s actually a nice guy.”

“He does have his moments, but he’s my brother.”

“If he’s up, we should get up.”

“Round two?”

“Maybe a quickie in the shower.”

The boys soared out of bed and chased one another into the bathroom. An hour later they stepped into the main area of the suit. A long couch faced two matching chairs across a low glass table. The door to the second bedroom stood ajar on the opposite wall. A small dinette sat in one corner of the inside wall and a bar in the others. French doors opened onto a narrow balcony with a view of Central Park far below. Blaine could only wish they could afford a place like this one day.

Cooper leaned against one of the arms of the couch with two pillows piled up against his back. Dressed in jeans and a tan coloured sweatshirt, he nursed a very large coffee. A rumpled newspaper sat on the coffee table with is cell phone lying on it as if it has been tossed there. Staring out the window he looked deep in thought and did not looked when the bedroom door opened. He drank a lot the night before leaving Blaine in charge of getting him to the car. This morning he looked no worse for wear. 

“Good morning, Coop,” Blaine said from the door as he walked toward the corner of the room and the smell of coffee.

“There you are?” Cooper sipped his coffee without looking at the boys. “There’s joe on the counter and some pastries but I was thinking of going down to Marcus Café down the block. They have a great breakfast.”

“That would be nice,” Kurt looked down at his comfortably fitting pants. “You didn’t need to buy cloths.”

“Oh, yes I did. I’ve been to enough impromptu parties to learn you need fresh cloths. Besides, with the way you shook your fannies last night, your suits are probably pretty rank.” Grinning, Cooper made a sniffing sound. “At least you showered after doing the rabbit this morning.”

Blaine blushed and glanced at Kurt to find the rosy colour shooting up his neck into his checks. Shaking his head, the did not want to reply. Holding the coffeepot in his hand, he pours two mugs added the fixings and returned to Kurt. Taking the cup, Kurt kissed him.

Inhaling, Cooper lay there pretending is did not care about the cell phone buzzed along the tabletop. Eying his brother, he sheepishly commented, “I never thought of you as a screamer, little bro.”

Coughing down his coffee, Blaine leaned forward with an awkward surprised look on his face. 

Throwing his legs off the couch, Cooper swung his body around all in one motion. Standing he stepped toward his brother and slapped on the back between the light wacks Kurt already gave him. Smiling over Blaine’s head he gave Kurt a look. His brother-in-law glanced back at him with his brows pushed together.

“Jesus . . . Coop . . .” Blaine sputtered between gagging. “You trying . . . to . . . kill me.”

Rubbing his brother’s back, guilt flashed on Cooper’s face, “Sorry, Blaine but when you were yelling about slipping on the snake, I almost peed myself.”

Wildly blushing, Kurt stated to laugh and then suddenly gave Blaine he pouty face.

Choking, Blaine’s eyes went to his husband who pressed his head against his shoulder. “Kurt?”

“I’m sorry Blaine. I didn’t mean to laugh.” Kurt stroked his husband’s cheek and then kissed it. 

“Of course, you did.” Blaine faced Kurt and set pressed their lips together. In a soft, low, sexy voice he whispered, “I really do like you snake, though I have never called it.”

Walking up behind the couple, Cooper placed one hand on Kurt’s shoulder and the other on his brothers. Sighing he looked back at his phone dancing over the table top and said, “Let’s get breakfast.”

His face still red from coughing, Blaine glanced at his brother. “You know, you’re still an ass.”

“Did you really think I would let something like that lie,” Cooper shot back with a wink to Kurt.

Thrusting his mug at his brother, Blaine said in a low tone, “You can put that away and I’ll let you buy me breakfast.”

Taking the mug, Cooper turned and found Kurt’s on the coffee table. His phone buzzed again, and he looked at it with distain and scooped up the other mug. 

“Are you going to answer that,” Blaine groused as he slipped away from Kurt without letting go of his left hand.

“It’s my publicist.” Shaking his head, Cooper grunted. “Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it tomorrow. Right now, I owe my little brother a scrumptious breakfast and a fresh cup of coffee.”

Stepping out onto the street the sun blared down at them through the trees of Central Park. The street outside teamed with people, but no one paid attention to three men passing through the door. At the curb, the doorman opened the door of a Mercedes and a smartly dressed woman got out. Across the street a group of joggers trundled down the road avoiding other pedestrians. Car horns honked, and pigeons flapped overhead making everything look like the perfect New York Saturday morning.

Looking up into the sun, Blaine enjoyed the warmth on his face. While the crowded buildings made him feel smaller, he loved the mingling of the masses. To punctuate the thought, a man accidentally knocked him in the shoulder sending him into Kurt. Giggling, he squeezed his lover’s hand when he bumped back. 

Smiling Kurt said to his lover, “It’s a lovely morning.”

“Yes, it is,” Blaine quietly replied.

“I love New York.”

“I find it intimidating.”

“I know you miss the great outdoors, my dear and that’s why I jumped on Jamie’s apartment when I could. I knew the park would please you.”

“It’s a wonderful location.”

“How are you settling in?” Cooper stated as he sidestepped around a lady coming at him with a stroller. 

“Getting the apartment together has kept me busy and Kurt has his hands full getting ready to go back to school. He needs to write a report of his activities with the New Directions,” Blaine answered.

Kurt cheerfully added. “And Blaine found work, almost immediately.” 

“It’s a start,” Blaine glanced across the street a large group of people walking out of the park. “I would like to be working in the theaters, but we need this.”

“Are things tight, little bro?” Cooper asked with smirk. “No pun intended.”

Rolling his eyes with a sigh, Blaine, told himself to let it go. “The rent is less than the loft but, yes, it’s going to be tight. Burt and Carole left us a card from the two of them and Pam with some money in it. We put that in the bank in case of emergencies.”

“I can help,” Cooper pointed at the couple. “Now don’t argue. Consider it a loan until the two of you get you feet on the ground. I’ll pay . . .”

Cooper never finished the sentence as a gaggle of photographers and reporters descended on them from behind, across the street and the nearby alley. Forcing their way pass people on the side walk they shoved microphone’s and cameras in Cooper’s face. One particularly pushing woman yelled, “Mr. Anderson, what do you have to say for yourself.”

“Have you seen the videos?” a man called out just as a flash blinded the three men he forced herself on. 

Someone else pressed closer even as Cooper pushed his hands out to keep him away. “How long have you been cheating on your girlfriend.”

For a second, Blaine thought of rushing into the fray but then it also frightened him. Pulling on Kurt’s hand, his eyes went in all directions as the confusing maelstrom of shoving bodies intensified. Some for the photographers pushed the two young men out of the way while other focused in on them. On the outside the growing scrum, passersby stopped to watch and take pictures. In the corner of this eye, Blaine noticed the hotel doorman running toward them. 

Dumbstruck, Kurt just stared as the throng around them snapped pictures from all angles while throwing random questions of Cooper. Suddenly a camera appeared directly in front of his face and he jerked back, and Blaine’s hand slipped away. With constant clicking echoed in his ears, someone yelled at him. “Did Mr. Anderson pay you?”

“What?” Kurt blurt out. The absurd question caught him complete off guard. 

Someone crowding between the young couple thrusting a recording device in Blaine face and loudly asking, “Do you know Tabitha? 

The doorman crashed into the mix grabbing Cooper by the shoulders and herding him back to the hotel. Confused by the pushing and shoving, Blaine found Kurt and tugged him closer. The startled young man jumped when a hand fell heavily on his shoulder. Suddenly angry, he glanced up to see Cooper staring down at him with an exasperated look on his face. Pushing his brother and Kurt with him, three other hotel staff joined the fray. The entire mess flowed into the hotel lobby where the front desk staff and security joined in. Blocking the mob as it fanned out, they ushered the celebrity and his guests into the elevator. As the doors slide shut, Cooper flopped forward with his hand on his thighs and let out a long breath. Slowly his head turned toward to Blaine and Kurt who huddled together against the wall.

“Bloody h . . .” Blaine suddenly caught himself as his eyes went everywhere and let out a long puff of air. With his fingers squishing Kurt’s hand he wrapped his arm about his husband drawing him close. The trembling man reciprocated.

“Our apologies, Mr. Anderson.” The front desk manager looked relieved. Standing with his back against the door he gazed at the bellman at his side him and them back at Cooper. “Is there anything I can do?”

Shaking his head, Cooper weakly smiled Kurt and Blaine who looked a bit scared. Rubbing his face, he glanced at the manager and said in a soft tone, “Breakfast would be wonderful.”

“Right away, Mr. Anderson,” the manager responded. “I’ll arrange for a new suite for you and your guests.”

‘No, I am leaving in the morning.” Cooper sighed. “Do me a favour though, give us half an hour and then send a some of those people up to my suite.”

“You sure, Mr. Anderson?” The manager’s brow furrowed.

“Yes,” Cooper firmly stated as he grinned at his brother. 

“How many?” the manager asked. “There has to be dozens down there.”

Lowering his head, Cooper wiggled his lips back and forth. “A dozen, but make sure they aren’t from the rags. Respectable only. I would like you to be present, if you’re available.”

“We know the drill, Mr. Anderson and I’ll make myself available,” the manager nodded. “Security will be posted on your floor so that you will no be disturbed for the rest of you stay. Anything particular for breakfast.”

“Give us a mix, please and lots of coffee.” Cooper smiled at the manager as the doors opened. “And, I would like to meet the doorman when he has time. I owe him.”

“I’ll have him sent up after the press is gone.” The manager smiled and looked up and down the hall. With his head, he indicated the bellman should step out into the hall and then he said to him, “Take the service elevator downstairs and have the kitchen whip something up ASAP and then bring it up with security.”

“Yes sir,” the bellman replied.

Digging into his pocket Cooper handed the twenty to the young man. “Have them add extra bacon.”

The bellman nodded and trotted off.

The manager slipped his passkey into the lock to the suite and opened the door. “We’ve handled situation like this before, Mr. Anderson, rest assured you privacy will be maintained.”

“Thank you,” Cooper smiled at that manager. 

Nodding the manager turned away and three wound up men stepped into the suite and secured the door behind them. Watching his brother, Blaine could not imagine living every day with the possibility of an ambush. Angered that such things happened, crazy thoughts raced through his mind. Could he live with the fact the press would hound his ever move? What did Kurt think? How could they protect themselves? All sorts of situations exploded in his head and he felt that funk sinking into his chest. Drawing a deep breath, he let his out silently and slow feeling the tension fade. Rolling his fingers over Kurt’s, he leaned over and kissed the adorable man on the cheek. Kurt blinked and them smiled. 

Letting out, another loud sigh, Cooper shrugged and then looked at his phone out of his pocket. Picking it up, he swiped it on and walked over to the window leaving Blaine and Kurt standing just in the threshold feeling rather uncomfortable. Holding onto one another’s hands they had both seen the press scrums on the news, but they had never dreamed to be part of one.

Letting his head fall against the glass, Cooper moaned, “Christ, can they leave things alone.”

“Leave want alone?” Holding onto his lover, Blaine sounded rattled. 

Shaking his head, Cooper looked apologetically at his brother. “You two have better come see this.”

Peeking at one other, the newlyweds stepped over and Cooper showed them a video showing the three of them at the night club last night with their friends. Brittany and Santana sat in a corner kissing before the feisty Latino got up and dragged everyone out onto the dance floor. Still shots followed of people dancing and then Cooper embracing Kurt. The next video showed Cooper with a glass in his head sandwiched between Blaine and Kurt with an arm around his little brother. Then the taller, older man leaned in and kissed each man on the check close to the lips. 

Stepping back, Blaine stared at his brother and then glanced at Kurt. “Why would someone film us?”

“Not us.” All those years of reading gossip magazines taught Kurt something, but he never expected it to happen to him. “Cooper.”

The expression on Blaine’s face shifted. “Cooper I . . . Is this going . . ?”

“This is why my publicist had been calling this morning.” Cooper’s fingers swiped down his phone and his eyes went wide. “Oh gods.”

“What?” two young men said, more or less, together.

“It’s a video of the three of us doing the bump and grind with a caption . . . Cooper goes wild with his boytoys.” Cooper’s arms fell, and he walked over to the side board and poured himself a whisky. “You want one?”

“Why not.” The pounding in Blaine’s chest slowly subsided and he refused to let go of his familiar anchor. The situation outside caught him off-guard and he still did not know now to handle it. Concerned eyed followed his brother and then he said, “What can we do?”

Cooper did not answer because someone knocked on the door identifying himself at a hotel employee. Putting the bottle down, he walked over to the door and peeked through the spy hole before carefully opened the door. The same bellman stood there behind a cart with a member of the hotel security beside him. Visibly relieved Cooper dug into his pocket and pulled out bill handing it to the bellman. Placing both hands on the cart the actor hauled it through the door. The smell of bacon and toast wafted through the suite.

Closing the door Cooper leaned against it and closed his eyes. Remaining still he pulled the cover off a plate and snapped up a piece of toast. Marching back to the sidebar chewing on the small morsel he reached for the whiskey.

“It’s not the bad, is it?” Kurt muttered as his eyes drifted the cart.

“It could be.” Cooper poured, paused, and then continued pouring. 

Blaine ran a hand through his gelled hair. “Its like something out of a movie.”

“You have no idea, little brother.” Cooper shook his head, his face flush with anger. “They’re assholes.”

“What do you mean?” Kurt let Blaine go and walked over to the bar fridge in search of a coke.

Cooper turned and handed a glass to Blaine with a frown. Downing half his drink, he made a face and flopped down on the couch while shoving the rest of the toast in his mouth. With a sigh, and rambled on, “Fame is not what it is all cracked up to be. Yeah, you get the car, the house and a whole bunch of free clothes but then the casting couch . . .”

Blaine stared at his brother with a slack jaw. “Wait . . . you never?”

Turning his glass in his fingers, Cooper made a face and then looked down. “To get my first commercial, yeah . . . I did.”

Kurt dropped the can spilling it over the counter. Quickly catching it, he flipped it upright and then looked about for a towel. “You did it with . . .”

Waving one hand, Cooper defended himself. “I’m not like . . .”

“Like what . . . me?” Blaine looked a bit upset as he spun around to face his brother.

“Fuck! Blaine, you know what I meant.” Cooper swigged his whiskey, stood and went over to the cart and picked up a strip of bacon. “You sometimes have to do things and then they make you sign a non-disclosure contract to keep you quiet.” 

Slack jawed, Blaine sputtered on his words “I didn’t . . . but Coop, I never thought you would swing. . .”

“I don’t, little bro.” Deflated, Cooper popped the curled up meat into his mouth. “She was thirty some years older.” 

“Woo . . . okay . . . she’s ancient?” Kurt held the wet cloth while he fumbled over his words. 

Snorting a laugh, Cooper sat on the wide windowsill. “Let me tell you something about Hollywood. It looks great with all the tinsel and celebrity, but it has an ugly belly. I would advice you to stick to Broadway. It’s not as cut throat.”

“What do you mean?” Blaine questioned with some concern with a quick glance at Kurt who strode toward the cart.

“Okay,” Cooper said gazing at his younger brother and leaned the wall behind him, “Let me spell it out for you. All the glamour hides a beast which tightly controls your life. You know I have a girlfriend, but she’s contracted to be my date for events and publicity shoots. I have to take her with me if I go shopping or just for a walk. Tabitha’s nice but at times it feels as if I have a ball chained to me ankle.”

Having taken the lid off a plate, Kurt held half a muffin inches from his mouth. Confused, his brow furrowed.

Grinning, Cooper swirled his drink and then gave them a disgruntled look. “I shouldn’t be telling you this but three years ago I met a lovely lady. Kathy is a hairdresser in an average area in Los Angeles. We hit it off and we stated to date.”

“That’s great,” Blaine perked up and stepped closer to the cart to inspect the offerings.

Cooper sighed. “All went well until someone took a picture of the two of us at coffee one day and it was flashed through all the rags. Kathy, was, is not a beautiful woman in the Hollywood way of looking at things. My publicist and agent took a fit. I didn’t know they and the studio derived an image for me which didn’t include Kathy.”

“That’s horrible?” Kurt held a wedge of cheese an inch from his mouth.

“It’s the way it works,” Cooper stood, finished his whiskey and then topped up his glass. “Hollywood is all about image. If the studio and your agency think you’re going to make a name for yourself, they want to maximize their investment. Very little is candid. They arrange appearances and then decide what you say in interviews. The interviewer is provided the questions in advance and you are coached on the answers. If you play along with them, you can have a good life but it you stand against they can make your life hell.”

Two young men appeared shocked. Giving his brother a funny look, Blaine asked, “Why don’t you just get a new agent or switch studios.”

“That is easer said than done,” Cooper frowned. “Kathy gave up on me when my agent told us we could not go out in public. When I argued, they threatened me with the penalties in my contract. I may be an actor, but I have not been getting the roles to give me the two and a half million it would have cost and, then I don’t want to be blackballed. I love acting. I love the life. I can’t disappoint my fans.”

“Do you have a . . .” Kurt stopped speaking when someone knocked on the door. 

With a sigh, Cooper put his glass down and walked over to the threshold. Opening the door, the front desk manager stood there with six reporters and four cameramen plus two security officials. The actor’s demeanour shift into professional smile. “Please come in ladies and gentlemen.”

The door had barely opened all they way when one woman suddenly pronounced, “Mr. Anderson . . .”

Holding up both hands, Cooper’s temple throbbed but he professionally said, “Right, ladies and gentlemen, I want to make a statement and then we can do this in an orderly fashion.”

The pushy reporter did not look impressed and held her phone up to record his words. 

“First, let me introduce my brother Blaine and his husband Kurt.” Cooper turned slightly and pointed at the two young men with a bright smile even as the cameras flashed. “Last night we were celebrating their recent marriage with friends. My schedule did not allow me the opportunity to attend the ceremony, so I arranged a little surprise for them. Yes, we went to a bar which is frequented by the gay community and, yes, I danced with my brother and his husband. Yes, I kissed them both as I wished them a blissful life together. And that’s that.”

A man in his thirties turned to the two young men standing next to the couch holding hands with concerned looks. Noting this, Cooper interceded, “You can direct your questions to myself and only myself. This interview is over the second you harass my brother and his husband.”

Cameras flashed, and a reporter asked the actor, “Mr. Anderson, are . . . “


	28. A NIght at Home

Blaine waved a piece of paper in front of his face to cool himself after pulling his head in from the large window leading out onto fire escape landing. Inside the air-conditioning churned up the air as it slowly lost the current battle the muggy heat streaming through the open window. Lima had its hot days but sometimes it felt as if the New York pavement melted. Last week the humidex reached into the high nineties making today’s eighty fell like a cool fall day. A warm breeze moved the trees in the street where kids played on the steps of the building across the street as their dad talked to a neighbour.

Wearing blue shorts and a red patterned tank top, Blaine prepared for a rare evening together by building a nest on the landing. He found some old outdoor chair cushions at a rummage sale to form the base. The long fat one worked well by lifting their rumps off the course metal decking and the other two, when leaned up against the railing, provided perfect comfort. An upside-down plastic box used to store blankets made for a nice table when covered by a cloth. Unlike their other neighbours, they took everything in when their activity finished.

With the warmer weather they started having dinner outside on the nights they had off together. This week work and school meant they had only one day to themselves. The frustrations of their new life did not always mean all turned out rosy. In fact, the friction of a tight bank account and a few little things exploded into a huge falling out. For two nights Kurt slept on the futon, but unlike previous disagreements, their rings and fear of another breakup brought everything home. Feeling incredibly guilty, Blaine swallowed his stubbornness and presented Kurt with flowers and a tearful apology. Hugging and kissing, Kurt expressed regret as well because he realized that it took two to argue and two to make a marriage work. They stayed up a little later that night and left holding hands the next morning.

Reconciliation set the mood for the coming week where they spent a lot of time talking about various issues. Moving away from their thorny past, both learned the stark realities of living together as boyfriends versus husbands. The huge differences forced compromise including setting aside a little time each day to talk about anything which came to mind. They called this their safe time and as awkward as it felt at first, neither realized they set the easy tone which would mark their long lives together.

Over time the chores naturally divided themselves leaving the two sharing the laundry duties while Kurt did all the dusting and Blaine ended up on scullery duty. They shared the cooking and enjoyed the closeness it brought especially after a long day of being separated. These little rites slowly became the mainstay of the lives as they endlessly flirted. The childhood dreams of being rich and famous settled onto the back burner as the realities of life forcing them to realign their thinking. They both wanted to be on the stage but living in New York proved harder than Lima. The city had all sorts of distractions, but the plentiful nightlife did not become one of them. They went out a few times but in general they did not have the resources to be party animals. Besides the boys did not like the wildlife and never had. Interests took them elsewhere and if they had the money they would be buying tickets for the theater.

One husband still struggled with how his lovely other half continued to expand his wardrobe. The budget allowed for new clothes but when Kurt came home with a bag with five new shirts and two pairs of pants, Blaine had to rise the questions. It turned out working part time for Vogue Dot Com provided some benefits because Kurt got to know some of the people in fashion district. One of the old wear houses took in clothing and repurposed it as part of an apprenticeship program to get people off the street. Many of the fashion houses and large manufactures used it as a means of recruiting skilled talent. Why not, they paid to run the place. Snickering at the thought, Blaine conceded the discussion and congratulated his husband on an excellent find.

The sound of humming coming from the kitchen caught Blaine’s attention. Raising above the clatter of banging metal utensils clashing in a salad bowl, Blaine felt the tug of pain in his chest. The humming rose and fell crossing the octaves with effortless care. Pushing himself off the narrow ledge, Blaine slowly crept the arch guarding the kitchen. Leaning his shoulder against the wall he peeked his head around the corner. Kurt stood there before the narrow counter between the fridge and stove wearing a cream coloured V neck t-shirt and a pair of bright yellow shorts which left little to the imagination.

Smiling Blaine felt that loving tingle in his chest as he wondered if he could pull it off. Drawing in a deep breath he started to sing.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuiZSgWVlHY Ok, this is Kurt singing but imagine if Blaine tried)

_Something has changed within me_   
_Something is not the same_   
_I'm through with playing by the rules_   
_Of someone else's game_

_Too late for second guessing_   
_Too late to go back to sleep_   
_It's time to trust my instincts_   
_Close my eyes and leap!_

_It's time to try defying gravity_

His voice cracked and he made a face

_I think I'll try defying gravity_   
_Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity_

Again Blaine’s voice warbled as he stretched for the note.

_And you won't bring me down_

_I'm through accepting limits_   
_'Cause someone says they're so_

A sense of relief came over Blaine with the lower notes.

_Some things I cannot change_   
_But till I try I'll never know!_

_Too long I've been afraid of_   
_Losing love I guess I've lost_   
_Well, if that's love_   
_It comes at much too high a cost._

_I'd sooner buy defying gravity_   
_Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity_   
_I think I'll try defying . . ._

The struggle with the high note made Blaine giggle. Just to make matters more hilarious, his loving husband opened his mouth and effortless hit an amazing high F. Laughing even harder, Blaine doubled over and looked through teary eyes to see Kurt gazing at him with a lovely smirk on his face while tossing lettuce and tomatoes.

Trying to catch his breath, Blaine knew he would never be able to match Kurt’s impressive range. Straightened up he stepped closer and drew Kurt into a tight hug. Still chuckling to himself, the aroma of his shampoo smelt like home and the beating of his heat made Blaine feel good. Skin touching skin sent a tinkle up his back driving away the loneliness he sometimes felt. Long days apart pulled at his heart, but he enjoyed it when they would end up at home or meet on the street somewhere. The sight of Kurt’s face when they sighted each other always amazed and made Blaine feel less alone.

Stepping back, Blaine smiled at the man he loved. “That was a massacre.”

“Moderately?” Kurt replied with a playful tone as he fondly gazed at his life partner. Turning his attention back to dinner he added, “I never thought I would hear you murder a song.”

“There’s always a first,” Blaine commented as he stepped toward the storeroom. Amused, he might have embarrassed himself, but love motivated him. Marriage changed them, and he knew he had to do these little things to keep the relationship fresh.

“It was sweet.” Kurt responded from the kitchen.

“l like to be a little unpredictable.” Blaine rapped this knuckles on the wall as he turned into the storeroom. Hesitating for a second and then added, “Do you know when Rachel will make her triumphant return?”

“She’s registered for the next semester.” The volume of Kurt’s voice rose ever so slightly. Something landed on the kitchen counter with a light thud.

“It will be fun to have her at NYADA with us,” Blaine called back even as his heart fell. He applied before they left Lima and still waited.

Rising onto his toes in order to grasp two glass enclosed candle holders Wishing they would be lower on the shelf meant little. The day-to-day items stayed at normal height. The storage room had a few boxes they had never unpacked, spare sheets, blankets and towels along with folded cloths sealed in plastic, cans of food and supplies of pasta. Economizing meant they ate a lot of pasta, rice and horded canned goods.

Something hit something else in the kitchen as Kurt responded, “That’s if she sticks to it, but then she had been having issues again.”

Stepping into the short hall, Blaine considered his thought carefully. Since Finn’s death she tried dating with Sam becoming her first unfortunate attempt. Their on again, off again, relationship finally lost its luster because Sam feared commitment. Then folllowed a few infatuations which lasted one or, perhaps, two weeks followed by days of mopping around. Blaine could relate but wanted to get pasted it. He had no doubt Rachel loved Finn, but Blaine wondered sometimes if she truly a husband or a trophy.

Not knowing what Blaine did, Kurt added, “She’s giving up the loft and finding something cheaper.”

“She’s not going to stay here, is she?” Blaine popped his head in the kitchen as he walked by.

Glancing to toward the arch, Kurt grinned. “I think she wants to live by herself for a little while.”

Relieved, Blaine placed the items he carried on the fire escape. Returning to the storeroom, he found the large beach umbrella to finish creating their next. Blaine liked the sun, but Kurt’s delicate skin needed protecting. At this time of day, the luminous yellow globe in the sky streamed over the rooftops for a few more hours. He hoped for a long peaceful evening communing with his lover in that special way. Kurt did not have to be a school until ten tomorrow and then he worked afterward for four hours. Blaine started at nine and took a two-hour break before going back at three until eight. The next day Blaine opened and then worked a second shift that evening after a nap. Kurt had classes on Saturday morning and practice in the afternoon into the evening. Later he planned to drop by to enjoy the end of rehearsal. Sunday would give them some time together other than curling up to sleep. While not perfect, having Kurt in his life outweighed everything.

His last happy chore consisted of getting a blanket which had belonged to Kurt’s mother. It rested on the top of the nice leather box containing Cooper’s wedding gift. Staring at the engraving, Blaine smiled and the called out, “Kurt, should we use the china Cooper gave us?”

“What . . . yeah . . . no,” Kurt’s voice rose and them something hit the counter.

“You alright?” One eyebrow going up as his eyes shifted toward the door.

Kurt sounded a bit flustered when he replied, “I dropped the salad dressing.”

“It seems like such a waste to hide it.”

“It’s too expensive but one day we will have a real dining room.”

“Yes, we will, my love. Do you need help?”

“No, I got this.”

“I hate having them just sit there collecting dust. Cooper went out of the way.”

“He might give you a bad time, Blaine, but he loves you.”

“Yes, he does.”

“Maybe for our first anniversary he’ll give us the matching silverware and crystal, but I bet we’ll have to do it ourselves.”

“I’ll see if we can fit it into next month’s budget.”

“That and a couple of dozen new bow ties.”

“Now, there’s an idea.”

“Blaine, you already have thirty-eight of them each individually wrapped in tissues.”

“You can never have too many bow ties.” Smiling, Blaine picked up the blanket and took a half dozen steps toward the kitchen. Leaning against the door frame, he added, “You know I can go put one on right now.”

Looking up from the sink where Kurt rinsed out a cloth to clean the counter, Kurt gave Blaine a funny look. “It’s baking out there, dear.”

Shrugging, Blaine bobbed his head around and then said, “I guess you’re right. I’m going to put the blanket out and then I’ll be back to open the wine.”

“I need to clean this up and then check on the pasta.” Kurt began to wipe up the mess.

Jogging to the window, Blaine placed the blanket of the cushions and the ran into the bedroom here he opened a narrow draw. Five minutes later, he strolled into the little kitchen and opened the fridge. Bending down he remained still for a moment and then rattled something on a shelf to get Kurt’s attention.

Busy stirring the sauce into the pasta, Kurt noted Blaine with looking. When he heard something glass smack into something glass, he glanced that way and his chin dropped. His voice squeaked, “Blaine?”

“Yes, dear?” Blaine replied in a controlled voice with his head pushed into the fridge. It did not take much of an imagination to why Kurt reacted the way he did.

“You’re naked?” Surprise filled Kurt’s tone.

“I am?” Blaine questioned as he stood holding a bottle of wine. Turning around he noted the funny look on Kurt’s face followed by an impish grin. Shrugging he glanced down at himself and innocently commented, “I’ve got something one.”

Wildly blushing, Kurt stepped back to get a better look. “A bow tie around your joyful bits is not dressed.”

Spreading his hand wide while still holding the bottle, Blaine could not stop himself from smiling. “I’ve always liked polka dots and you gave this to me.”

“Oh, I did,” Turning back to the stove, Kurt stirred the contents of the pot.

“You like it?” Blaine playfully asked as he swung his hips.

Looking back, Kurt rolled his head back and forth while bashfully grinning. “You naughty boy?”

The fussy haired man gyrated some more giving more motion down there.

“My dad told me when you get married there’s a lot of eating pasta and dancing about in your underwear.” Chuckling, Kurt cheeks reddened into a deeper hue. “But this, I need a picture.”

“Don’t you dare, Kurt Anderson-Hummel,” Blaine pointed the bottle at his lover. “This is for you and only you.”

“It would look great framed.” Kurt started to dish out the pasta.

The side of Blaine’s face curled up into at adorable smirk. “Go get you phone while I have the nerve.”

“Or you get up.”

“That too.”

Taking a single step, Kurt kissed his husband on the nose and pinched a nipple. “The neighbour might enjoy the show.”

“As long as you enjoyed it, that is all that counts.” Blaine squeezed past Kurt who rubbed a hand up his thigh. “Maybe I’ll save this for later.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Kurt picked his phone up and swiped. “You have better go put something more robust on or we won’t make dinner.”

Giving Kurt a sexy look, Blaine wiggled his hips about so something flopped just as a flash almost blinded him. Turning bright red, he bounced from the room chuckling to himself. When he stepped out of the bedroom, he found Kurt setting two bowls of pasta on their makeshift table next to two plates and the salad. Glancing over his shoulder, Kurt watched Blaine sauntering toward him wearing only a pair of shorts with a strange bulge up front.

Spreading his arms wide, Blaine asked with a delightful smirk. “Is this better?”

His head shifting to one said he giggled. “You’re still wearing it?”

“I thought I would let you take it off.” Blaine’s brows pushed up and then he climbed out onto the fire escape with his husband. Putting the bottle down on the plank of wood they placed over he grates next to the window, he settled in.

“You know, you’re a nut bag?” Looking at his phone, Kurt looked like he might burst. “The picture is hilarious though.”

Rolling his eyes, Blaine picked up the bottle, poured and handed it to his lover before filling his. Holding the glass up, he whispered, “I love you.”

Glass hit glass and Kurt purred, “I love you too and your sexy bow tie.”

Both men sipped and then they started to eat. It surprised Blaine that they did not get crap from the landlord for using the fire escape as a balcony. Then he thought about how the neighbour above them had a menagerie of potted plants up there. The lady who lived on the same floor where the second fire escape snaked down the building spent many evening out here on a foldable lounge chair soaking up the sun. A young couple across the street, had a tree on it what looked like a couch. The old guy below them would lie out there with less on than Blaine wore a few minutes ago.

The neighbour across the hall did not say much to either of he young men but, then, she had some strange quirks which caused concern. One early morning Blaine woke to the screaming of what sounded liked baby out in the hall. It ended up to me Marge pacing having a very load moment. The older gentleman living beside her told the boys she had issues and her drugs had probably run out. They both liked Jeff and often helped him with his shopping. The poor man suffered from a wound he received in Vietnam and had trouble in the cold weather. They often went over for tea and to watch old movies or listen to his tales while enjoying his killer chocolate cake or apple turn overs.

“Have you seen Rus and Jack, lately,” Blaine asked as he piled some salad on a plate. The two men in their forties lived together in the apartment one floor down and one over. Your typical big city gays, they had no trouble flaunting themselves. Jack looked great in a dress, but Rus made Blaine nervous with all the attention he gushed on Kurt.

Looking down one floor, Kurt replied, “I think they went out of town for the weekend. I saw them hauling luggage to a taxi yesterday when I got home from school.”

“They certainly jet around a lot.”

“Maybe that will be us one day when we make it.”

“We have the drive, the talent and make a super duel, so, yes, that will be us.”

“I won’t have the talent if I don’t practice more. I’m falling behind in dance.”

“Kurt, why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s not really your issue.” Kurt suddenly looked ashamed for slipping back into keeping secrets.

“Kurt, we’re married,” Blaine bumped him. “We’re in this together for the long run and if you want, I’ll practice with you. Besides I’m rusty and need to get back at it. Next semester is not that faraway, and I want to have a leg up.”

“Oh, you’ll have your legs up.”

“Promises, but why don’t we go down to the park after this and go through some moves.”

“That’s an idea but won’t that look a little stupid.”

“There’s the morning tai chi group and did you see the break dancers last weekend. They were fantastic.”

“I guess I was at work, beside it’s not really dance.”

“I was on a break, so I wondered across the street with Gail.”

“I think she has the hots for you.”

“Perhaps, but she knows I have the hots for someone incredibly sexy and all so sweet.”

Lifting his glass, Kurt smiled and said, “To sexy and sweet.”

“To sweet and sexy.” Blaine lips touched the rime of his glass to his. Pam loaded him up with a bunch of stuff before he left. At the time Blaine thought she got rid of things because she wanted new. Later he learned from Cooper their parents fighting worsened and that led Blaine to think she prepared for a break.

“Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” Kurt sipped his wine as his eyes went up and down Blaine’s body.

Noting the look, Blaine blushed. During their first breakup he let himself go and then he had trouble adjusting to New York. Well, he lost his willpower and gave into the food temptations to hide his growing misery. When the dust cleared he found a new experience going to the gym with Kurt. He liked the way it reshaped Kurt’s body giving him greater definition. Finding he could gain mass, Blaine, however, concentrated on increasing the strength he would need for dancing.

One the other hand, Kurt wanted mass, but his wiry frame made it hard. The man drooled over pictures of we toned models and oversized gym bunnies. Blaine liked looking too but he did not want that for himself or his man. The bulk his husband did gain pleased him and he found himself mesmerized watching his love workout.

Resting his head on Kurt’s shoulder and looking up, Blaine smiled. “She’s playing two off each other and I have no idea how she does it with two jobs.”

“It’s trouble enough with one husband sometimes?” Kurt blandly replied.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, he wears a bow tie around his naughty bits and teases me senselessly.”

“You’ll just have to get your revenge.”

Running a finger through the lock of non-gelled hair, Kurt sighed. “I would love to but right now I’m content beyond all words. I am sitting next to the man I love and looking down the street into the park just hoping Lisa does not throw something out the window to ruin all this.”

Sitting up, Blaine snickered. “You know how to ruin a moment.”

“No, I know how to make it stretch.”

“Oh, you do indeed.”

“Do you still want to go down to the park?”

“I think so. It’s been a while since we’ve danced.”

“We did go out with Elliot and Kevin last week but then that is not the kind of dancing you’re speaking about.”

“It would be nice to work on a routine together that does not involve getting tied up in sheets.”

“You do need a little tutelage after all.”

“Really?” Blaine gave his partner a playful gaze.

“You said you’re rusty?” Kurt popped a fork full of pasta in his mouth.

Looking up, Blaine grinned from ear to ear. Simple delights like this night made life worth it. What else could he want? Well, he would have to wait until after dark.


	29. Mail

“Okay, that’s another one,” Blaine stroked the item off the shopping list. The produce section stretched along one wall with fruit on the selves on the other side. Pot lights overhead accented certain goods on sale. Automated misting nozzle spayed cool moisture onto the vegetable adding a nice level of comfort to a muggy day. Up ahead the aisle morphed into a section the bank account dreaded—meat, poultry and fish.

“How about some grapes?” Kurt said a she put the tomatoes into the basket before leaning forward and picking up a package of cucumbers. Water sprayed over his arms and he smiled.

“They’re not on sale this week,” Blaine softly replied.

Dropping their next purchase into the basket he carried. Kurt whispered, “They look fresh.”

“If we want to buy that table at Harvey’s we need to economize a little bit more. Last months credit card statement was a bit much. I hate running a balance.”

“I hate this.”

“Honey, we need to save some money if I am going to school this fall.”

“Think of you, myself and Rachel in classes again.”

“We’ve been there, and it was . . .” Turning a large romaine lettuce over in his hands, Blaine fell silent and frowned.

Kurt gave his love a reassuring look. “Blaine, it will not happen again. I’m just happy you’re finally going back to school.”

“It’ll be nice to get started on our dream.” Blaine ran a finger down the back of Kurt’s arm.

Looking at the mushrooms, Kurt selected some placing them in a brown paper bag, “It’s a little tougher than we expected but I would have it no other way.”

“Me with two jobs and you with work and school but, then, we’re there to hold each other every night.” Placing three onions into a bag, Blaine finished with, “I think that counts for something.”

Blowing his lover, a kiss, Kurt emotionally whispered, “It’s everything and we’ll make it.”

“When I last talked to my mom, we spoke about the challenges of starting out. I knew they lived with her parents for the first couple of years and I thought it was because my grandmother needed the help. No, it was because mom had the only job while my dad went to school and partied.”

“I don’t think we’re the party animal sort.” Kurt picked up some fresh garlic and tossed it in Blaine’s basket.

“No,” Blaine looked across the aisle at the apples and oranges and started to move that way. “I like being at home with you and doing our thing.”

“Elliot’s the one who forces us to go and have fun.”

“We have fun of a different sort.”

“I like seeing you ass in your sexy tight jeans reflected in a mirror. Besides, I like showing off my love for you in public.”

“Ah-h-h-h-h. We both get to sleep in on Saturday, so do you want to go out?”

“Why not and it won’t hurt the entertainment budget too much.”

Striking apples and oranges off the list with bananas, Blaine walked toward the meat department and plucked up a bunch of curvy yellow fruit on the way. “I don’t think we can afford to do dinner out, but I think we can pull it off.”

“True,” Kurt grinned and ran over to pick up a packet of celery. When he got back he added, “What about doing a potluck and inviting a few people over.”

“Sounds like fun.” Blaine stopped before an assortment of roasts and sighed. “Prices have gone up again and no coupons.”

“I guess we have to stick with pork this week.”

“I think we have some chicken in the freezer and then there’s some of the left-over stew.”

“Yes, so it’s pork then?”

“I think so, but we can pick up some bread meats as well and yes, bread.”

“How about a little bacon.”

Glancing down the aisle to the price, Blaine wiggled his nose. The both agreed he would take care of the budget since he did a better job of keeping track of their money. Knowing all to well he had to give Kurt his little treats, he delighted in his husband’s little smirk when he nodded. “Go ahead and get a couple of packages and some grapes.”

Looking puzzled, Kurt stared at Blaine and then playfully shook his head while grinning.

Pleased within himself Blaine answered, “We can do BLT’s for dinner and maybe some bacon amulets in the morning.”

“We need some more coffee?” Kurt mentioned as the scooped up to packages of sliced meat.

“I’ll get some from work.” Blaine followed along happily watching Kurt as he sped ahead. The view made him grin. His husband wore formfitting shorts which hung halfway down his thighs and a flowing, untucked button-down shirt. Even when he dressed down he never looked shabby. Foregoing a bow tie because of the heat, Blaine slipped a polo-styled shirt over his head before stepping out the door.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Kurt suddenly asked as he returned to his husband with two loaves of bread hanging from between his fingers with bacon and crap in his sticking out of his basket. in his hand.

Blinking, Blaine looked to his love and smiled. “I’m that transparent am I.”

“To me, yes.”

“I was daydreaming about how many times, I would stop and stare into the window of some high-end stores on Fifth Avenue.”

“Ah, Mecca. One day my love but for now we dress pretty good for scrapping the bargain basement.”

“We’re not scrapping the bargain basement with your connections at work. Just bargain prices.”

“Do you think we have everything.”

“I was thinking perhaps some ice cream.”

“Oreo Cookie?”

“What ever you want.”

All-in-all, their shopping expedition did not turn out all that bad. Carefully matching their purchases to coupons, meant they added almost thirty dollars to the kiddy for their next date night. When they got home, the put the goods away and then Blaine started to get ready for his coming shift. Kurt settled onto the futon with his books for some study time before he ran off to NYADA. The busy student took on a short summer session for extra credit which covered the acting techniques of various performers and an extra dance class. After their wedding, he complained his time in Lima had not been as fulfilling has he hoped from a career perspective. Selfishly, he allowed personal matters to overshadow his school needs and for that the couple thanked their lucky stars.

Blaine tried his best to keep his schedule complimentary to Kurt who needed to be more rigid. It became a juggling act in which Blaine had to content himself with work long hours in the coffee shop a couple of blocks away for minimum wage. Since starting he averaged fourty plus hours a week working split four or five-hour shifts. While not exactly what he hoped, the extra hours helped with the savings. Kurt voiced his concern a few times, but they needed the cash reserve Blaine slowly built up to survive the coming school year.

Returning home after his first five-hour shift, Blaine failed in his hope of getting a nap. Burying his head in Kurt’s books, he found reading helped sooth the light discomfort in his chest. Yes, the mistakes of the past continued to nag at him, but he also recognized the sensations he suffered slackened with time. This day, however, mind went back into the past but not as far as he thought he would have. He hung his head drawing in a deep breath before sighing.

Changing his shirt before going back to work, Blaine liked to look his best even though the café had no dress code. Through the heatwaves most employees wore shorts, but Blaine never did. Dressed in light, airy fabrics he always wore a bow tie.

“Would you like sprinkles or chocolate shavings today, Lucy?” Blaine asked the dainty little women in her sixties. Always polite and never in rush she appeared to float through life, but Blaine knew better. Get her on the right subject she held on like a dog with a big, juicy bone. She loved speaking history, but he quickly learned to steer her away from politics because she disliked the parties equally. Sometimes, she sat at the end of the bar on a stool too tall for her chatting about the subject of the day.

“Just a little, but pile on the whipped cream,” Lucy replied in her soft-spoken manner. “I like you bow tie tonight.”

Smiling, Blaine finished off her drink and handed the cup to her. Hazel eyed shifted to the next person in line and he groaned. Fred, grated on Blaine at the best of times and he never ordered when Lucy did even though she paid. Honestly, Blaine did not see what Lucy saw in the opinionated portly seventy odd year-old scrooge. When he first saw them together he thought they made a nice couple but then he quickly learned of Fred’s unpleasant side. Rude and pushy, Fred had no problem voicing his opinion on anything. A devout Christian and a bit of a bigot he spoke out against people of different ethnic backgrounds. One afternoon he got into it with John, another regular in his fifties, and it turned into an ugly rant about queers. The long, uncomfortable conversation ended when John got up and left. Fred tried to keep it going but no one else would bite.

“Are you having the usual today, Fred,” Gail asked from behind the till.

“Yeah,” Fred gruffly answered with his usual scowl. “Make it hot and not so sweet this time.”

Gail glanced at Blaine noting the look on the young man’s face.

Controlling his frown, Blaine turned back to the coffee machine and hit the steam jet. A few years older than himself, Gail slung coffee for almost four years. Slowly working her way through collage, Blaine liked her, but he had not made up his mind whether he would call a friend. Since permanently moving to New York he had made many acquaintances but no one he would call a friend. Pam warned him when he followed Kurt after graduating high school, it would take a year to make real friends.

“You shouldn’t let him irk you, Blaine,” Gail whispered in Blaine’s ear as she handed him a large cup. The fiery redhead wore shorts and a bright button-down shirt under her apron knew how much Fred’s comments bothered her co-worker.

Rolling his eyes, Blaine placed a metal container holding patted down coffee grounds under the nozzle and then turned his attention to heating milk. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t get into another tirade.”

“He’s old school.”

“He gets under my skin, but . . . oh, never mind.”

“Blaine, you have to remember he grew up south of Atlanta where certain people didn’t live.”

“It still doesn’t excuse it.”

“Come on, Blaine.”

“Why are your defending him?”

“Why are you being so bitchy?”

The word ‘bitchy’ irritated Blaine for two reasons. One he disliked the word because of its negativity and, two, he felt the truth in the harsh word. Only moments before he left for work, the newlyweds got into a small tiff. To be honest, he did not even remember why they squabbled. Only the guilt remained. Growling to himself, Blaine concentrated on finishing Fred’s drink.

Adding a swirl to Fred’s drink, he pushed it off to the counter with an actor’s smile and cheerful thank you. Turning away, Blaine looked toward the two people at the counter making orders with Ken, the owner’s son. The tall lean man worked two or three nights a week when he was not partying his way through university. Blaine considered Ken to be lazy because he rarely left his position behind the till. In stark contrast, the man with gelled down curly hair tried his best to help his fellow employees and customers alike. He kept his station clean and generally remained cheerful even under adversity. Stepping out from behind the bar he would personally deliver drinks and food to his elderly patrons which, in turn made him popular.

Then Blaine noted Ken flirted with the young brunette at the counter. At times Blaine thought the young, somewhat handsome man, crossed the line with some of his off coloured remarks. He liked push people’s buttons and his laugh rocked the lights hanging from ceiling. In this case, his particular tone and volume announced mischievous intent. Leaning over the counter, Ken quietly said something to the young customer and two young ladies giggled.

Noting their order, Blaine ignored Gail by reaching over and pulled a medium sized and a large cup from the pile. Turning them over he ground the coffee and packed into the manual portafilter before setting it into the slot. He did this for each cup and then pressed the buttons to start the flow of hot water through the filter. Steaming the milk, Blaine turned toward the till, but then he heard his name.

Grinning at the barista, Ken said, “Blaine, these two ladies have heard you like to sing. Can you provide them with proof?”

Irritated by Ken’s choice of words, Blaine tried not to let his mood show. Becoming the singing barista never crossed his mind but Stan, a co-worker, told Gail he heard Blaine singing in the back after closing on night. One slow afternoon, she dared him to belt out a favourite for the few people sitting around the café. When he told Kurt that night, his lover did not seem surprised at all. Three days later, one of the regulars asked him to sing for her eight-year-old daughter’s birthday. Soon, the café became a destination for the local music and arts crowd. Business went through the roof pleasing the owner who removed two tables from a corner opening it up for performers. Now, Blaine wondered how he could add his nickname to his resume.

Turned away while giving Gail an exasperated look, he knew a polite refusal would not work. Continuing layering the drinks he racked his brain for a quick song. For some unexplained reason he grasped on something he had not sung over a year. With a sigh, the café fell silence as the customers listened to his smooth tones.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMXQG41MstE)

_Just another one champion sound_   
_Yeah, Estelle, we 'bout to get down_   
_Who the hottest in the world right now?_   
_Just touched down in London town_   
_Bet they give me a pound_   
_Tell them put the money in my hand right now_   
_Tell the promoter we need more seats_   
_We just sold out all the floor seats_

The two girls snickered and made an occasional comment to each other. One of them blushed and leaned her head against her friend. The reaction, while flattering, made Blaine fell uncomfortable and then, out of the blue, a voice rose from the door. Looking up, Kurt standing there with a delighted look on his face. Without effort Blaine defaulted to how they had sung it in the past.

_[Kurt (and Blaine):]_   
_Take me on a trip, I'd like to (Go some day)_   
_Take me to New York, I'd love to (See L.A.)_   
_I really want to come kick it with you_   
_You'll be my American boy_

Strolling toward the counter, Kurt paid no attention to the looks he received. Stopping on the other side of the coffee maker, blue eyes met with hazel. Kurt winked causing a smooth warmth to burst forth within Blaine’s chest forgiving a small transgression. Emotion swelled and in the corner of his eye, Blaine noted the puzzlement on the girls faces.

_He said "Hey Sister_   
_It's really really nice to meet you"_   
_I just met this 5 foot 7 guy who's just my type_   
_I like the way he's speaking his confidence is peaking_   
_Don't like his baggy jeans but I'mma like what's underneath them_

_[Blaine and Kurt (Kurt):]_   
_And no I ain't been to MIA_   
_(I heard that Cali never rains and) New York's heart awaits_   
_First let's see the West End, I'll show you to my brethren_   
_(I'm liking this American boy) ([Blaine:] American boy)_

Handing the drinks off to his helper, Blaine stepped away from the bar. Walking around the customer side, they smiled as the two gently danced around each other without touching. The two girls glanced at each other with strange looks.

_[Kurt (and Blaine):]_   
_Take me on a trip, I'd like to (Go some day)_   
_Take me to New York, I'd love to (See L.A.)_   
_I really want to come kick it with you_   
_(You'll be my American boy, American Boy)_

_[Blaine:]_   
_Tell 'em wagwan blud_

_[Kurt (Blaine):]_   
_Would you be my love, my love? (Would you be mine?)_   
_Would you be my love, my love? (Would you be mine?)_   
_Could you be my love, my love? (Ooh)_

_[Blaine and Kurt:]_   
_Would you be my American boy? ([Blaine:] American boy)_

_[Kurt (Blaine):]_   
_Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day (Oo some day)_   
_Take me to Chicago, San Francisco Bay (Oh yeah)_   
_I really want to come kick it with you (Ooh)_   
_([and Blaine:] You'll be my American Boy) (Be my American boy)_   
_Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day (I'd like to go some day)_   
_Take me to New York, I'd love to see L.A. (See L.A.)_   
_I really want to come kick it with you_

_[Blaine and Kurt (Blaine):]_   
_You'll be my American boy, American boy_

_La la la la-ladida_   
_La la la la-ladida_   
_La la la la-ladida_

_(Will you be my) American boy, American boy?_

Loud applause echoed within the open ceiling of the café as two men kissed. The girls made faces and leaned together giggling. Gail smiled to beat the band while the patrons applauded with performance. The regulars knew the couple and cared less. Off in a corner Fred crumbled but Lucy shushed him up.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Blaine whispered to Kurt as a hand pushed passed the leather shoulder bag lying against his lover’s hip.

Squeezing a little tighter, Kurt replied, “So am I. I was being stupid.”

“We both were and for that I apologize,” Blaine kissed his love on the cheek as he stepped back. “Your home early?”

Stroking a stubbly face, Kurt smiled. “Rehearsal ended early and instead of going out with the gang for a bite, I thought I would surprise you.”

“That you did,” Blaine said as he turned away with a lighthearted feeling in his chest.

From behind the till, Ken loudly cleared his throat.

Rolling his eyes, Blaine let his lover go with a check peck on the cheek. Straightened his apron, he trotted back around the counter.

Pressing behind her fellow barista, Gail whispered to Blaine, “That was amazing.”

“Kurt always brings out the best in me,” Blaine’s eyes brows went up. “He’s all the praise I need.”

“You two . . .” Gail stopped suddenly when Ken called to her. She waited at moment and then said to Blaine. “There he goes thinking with the head between his legs.”

Chuckling, Blaine started up a new drink and looked back to see Kurt talking to three of the customers at the end of the bar.

Noting the look, Gail called out, “Hey Kurt, good to see you can still hit the notes.”

Turning away from the table of regulars he chatted with, Kurt replied, “Hi Gail. Can I get . . .”

“A no fat . . .” Gail looked to Blaine.

“Already on it,” Blaine cut Gail off.

“I bet,” Gail shot back as he rung it into the cash register.

Twenty-five minutes later, Blaine took a break. Sitting across from the man he loved he stared into those dreaming eyes while enjoying the warmth of the sun streaming through the window. Bright blades of light flashed through the trees of the park as the sun dropped behind buildings the distant building. The shimmering of the leaves created a diamond like affect Blaine found alluring. Shadow and light danced actors Kurt’s face making him appear more attractive than normal. Sitting there with one knee over the other, the muscle just over the knee bulged. Giving Blaine a chill, something about it turned him on.

Sipping his coffee, Kurt peered over the rim of his cup giving Blaine a sly look. “That was good fun.”

“You made my day.” Blaine leaned forward on one elbow. “How was school?”

Putting his cup down, Kurt grinned. “I made the jump for the first time.”

“I knew all the practicing we’ve been doing would help. Just remember not to push it too fast. I don’t want you twisting your ankle.”

“I’ve been landing it easily but it’s losing your balance makes it difficult.”

“We can work at it some more.”

“I can teach you the new move they showed us today. It’s not as tough but it definitely tests you.” As he spoke, Kurt dug into his satchel with he oddest look on his face. Placing a cream coloured envelope on the table, face down and slid it toward Blaine with an impish smile.

Brows pushed together as he watched, Blaine sat back as his chin pressed in toward his throat. “What’s this?”

“Turn it over,” Kurt suggested with a glint in his eyes.

Reaching out, Blaine pulled the envelope toward him and picked it up. Turning it over, he looked at the return address and his mouth hung open. Staring for a moment he looked up at Kurt who nodded. In a low voice Blaine said, “Its from NYU.”

Rocking his eyebrows back and forth, Kurt winked. “Good news, I hope.”

Visibly trembling, Blaine bit his lower lip and then slid a finger under the flap ripping it open. Pulling out three sheets of folded paper and a self-addressed envelope he hesitated before flipping the pages open. Concentration crossed his brow and then his face exploded into a large, excited smile. Swallowing he said in a low voice, “I got my scholarship.”

Two hands suddenly shot out to gripping a hand resting on the table. Two thumbs stroked the skin in unison. His pitch of his voice changed with his enthusiasm. “Wow, that’s great.”

Reading on, Blaine’s chin suddenly dropped.

Thumbs stopped and Kurt leaning forward. “What?”

Staring, Blaine blinked and then said in a deep voice, “Its for thirty thousand a year for the next three years with an option for extension.”

Sitting up straight, Kurt excitedly squeezed Blaine’s hand. “My . . . that’s more . . .”

Flipping the page, Blaine’s head pulled back. “There’s a hand-written note.”

Sitting back without letting go of the hand he held, Kurt expelled a single word, “Oh?”

Hazel eyes scanned down the page. “Its from June.”

“What does it say,” Kurt let one hand slip away, so he could sip his coffee.

Taking a draft of his drink first, Blaine hesitated and then read on. “I knew I would hear about you again, my little canary. When I saw you had applied to the NYU NYADA partnership I arranged for you to receive the scholarship that will pay for your degree. You have a great future ahead of you, my boy, and this old lady did not want you to waste it. Maybe it’s just a fantasy, but I like giving a young man a boost pleases me.

“I’m on a cruise in the South Pacific for another five weeks before visiting New Zealand, Australia and India. I’m working over the Internet so please drop me a line at the address below. I’m hoping to be back in New York around New Years. When I get back I want to have you and that sassy boyfriend of yours over for dinner. I want to talk to the two of you to see about where you see yourselves going.

“Oh, tell Kurt his scholarship has been boosted to match.”

The papers slumped as two men stared at each other.


	30. Discussions

Their front door and the neighbours stood six feet apart along the corridor spanning the length of the building. The space between the two marked the position of a three-foot-deep coat closet in either apartment. The five-foot-wide and seven-foot-long entry turned to the right where the hall to the fire escape split the apartment in half. A floor to ceiling mirror hug on the wall centered on the passage to the fire escape creating a reflective source of natural light. The air-conditioner set over the living room window swirled cool air down the hall to rustle the plant resting on a small triangle table in a corner. A light hanging from a chain hanging from an ornate hook screwed into the ceiling. The round, frosted, beveled glass shade sprayed a light green radiance on it and then down onto three candles in a low, wide bowl occupied the bottom shelf. Two long, narrow and matching prints hung on the wall almost butting up to one other in the corner behind the plant. Depicting a natural sunset through trees, a to a waterfall added flare to a corner meant to be a focal point. 

Across from the door a narrow unit with a drawer at the top on two large pull open, hinged compartments rested against the wall. A small bowl sat on it with a set of keys in it and beside it a small basket held the day’s mail. The gloves and hats used in winter filled the drawer and the larger sections housed a collection of shoes for the different seasons. Three framed two-and-a-half-foot-long and nine-inch-tall photos of sunny vineyards overlooking a large blue lake and mountains occupied the space on the wall above it. 

Closing the door, Kurt glanced behind him and placed a single finger over his lips before dropping his keys in the bowl. Winking at the person behind him, he called out, “Hey, honey, I’m home.”

“Hey gorgeous!” Blaine called back, his voice hushed by the shape of he hall. “I’m in the kitchen getting dinner ready. Why don’t you sashay over here and give me a sloppy kiss, you sexy hunk?”

Pale skin flushed with the meaning of that sentence. The person stranding close behind stifled a giggle causing Kurt to add another caution. 

Wildly grinning, Kurt shot back at his guest and then replied to his hubby, “Guess who I bumped into today.”

“If its Kevin, tell him to take his heels off.” Blaine’s voice carrying down the hall. Chopping onions to add to the garlic he rolled his eyes down and around to his hip. Pushing his mouth back and forth he glanced to counter and his shirt and shorts sat neatly folded. Frowning, there goes the surprise. 

“I think you should come and say hello,” Kurt answered as he placed his bag beside the shoe house.

Laying the knife down on the cutting board, Blaine paused. “Do I stop prepping dinner.”

The other person looked ready to say something, but Kurt shook his head cutting in, “Depends.”

“What, no clue?”

“Nope.”

“My your full of wonders today. It’s not Burt again is it?” 

“You’re just going to get you sweet butt out here.”

The guest gave Kurt a look and stoking a hand over a shoulder.

Grabbing his shorts, Blaine pulled them up over his nakedness and the tugged the V-neck t-shirt over his head. Regretting he did not gel down his hair after his post work shower, he smirked at the thought of Kurt hauling whoever it may be into the kitchen unannounced. 

Rolling his eyes, he stepped into hall separating the kitchen from the living room. Instantly his eyes darted past the wide, nineteen thirties arch leading into the living room. The four-foot-long wall parted the fire escape window from the two windows in the square living room followed by a six-foot-wide arch and then another two-foot wall which intersected with the bedroom. A pad and three books sat on the futon along with the socks he ripped of when he got home from work.

Sucking on his upper lip, he turned toward the front door and took a step before someone suddenly jumped out in front of him. Hands grasping his chest, Blaine’s face lit up. “Rachel!”

“In the flesh, sweetie.” Rachel beamed as he opened her arms to accept a hug.

Throwing his arms about Rachel, Blaine lifted her in the air and spun her around with a little squeal. Smiling as he put her down, he said, “When did you get into town?”

Straightening her dress out, Rachel kissed Blaine on the cheek. “I got in a couple of days ago. I’m staying at the loft right now since I still have it until the end of the next month.”

Leaning into Kurt, Blaine kissed him followed by an off handed look. “You could have told me we we’re having guests.”

Adding a second kiss to the first, Kurt replied, “And ruin the surprise, na.”

“You two are still so sickeningly in love,” Rachel patted both of her male friends on the shoulder. “Do I get a tour.”

“Yes . . . oh, yes,” Kurt stumbled on his words. 

“I’ll open a bottle of wine.” Blaine turned back toward the kitchen at a trot.

Walking into the brighter hall facing the window, Rachel looked around. Placing her back into the rounded corner she said, “A little small but quaint.” 

“We like it,” Blaine called back from the hall and he tore into the living room.

“Blaine doesn’t like the fact the bedroom has no window, but its home.” Kurt indicated a French styled glass door with sheer cream coloured fabric hanging on the inside. “We replaced the original door to give us a little natural light.”

“As if the two you would open the drapes anyhow,” Rachel winked and tried not to make it look as if she tried to peek through a gap in the window sheer.

“It’s home for now.” Blaine responded with an impish little grin as he dove into the kitchen with something scrunched up in his hand. 

Puzzled, Kurt’s voice rose in pitch when he questioned, “Blaine?” 

“I was warming up the oven,” Blaine called back. “You know now you like it just right when you cook.”

Rachel pushed of the wall and glanced at herself. Adjusted her hair before looking down the hall toward the tall window at the end of the hall. “You got him trained. Good man.”

Snickering, Kurt smiled. 

“Yeah, right, Rachel.” Blaine offered from the kitchen. “White or red, Rachel?”

“Red, please,” Rachel sniffed the air. “Something smells interesting.”

Opening the fridge door, he pulled out a bottle of wine and twisted off the top off. He knew it should be stored at room temperature, but the late summer heat would have boiled it. Putting it on the counter, Blaine opened a cupboard and pulled down three glasses. “I was going to surprise Kurt, but I guess I got surprised.”

“I bet he does that a lot?” Rachel whispered to Kurt with a wink.

“You want to stay for dinner, Rachel?” Blaine asked as he pulled out some cheese and began to slice it. 

Looking at a bright green print with an image of trees, a waterfall and blue sky, Rachel responded, “I don’t want to crash the party?”

“We’ll make it a party,” Blaine replied as he laid the cheese out on a plate.

“Sounds great to me,” Rachel looked down at the brightly coloured, long, narrow rug centered in the hall separating the apartment. “I have nowhere I have to be tomorrow so, I guess we can live it up.”

“I have a shift at eleven and then one in the evening,” Blaine spread the cheese out on the plate. 

“Kurt says you’re working in a coffee shop?” Rachel asked as he move on down the short hall. 

“It’s a couple of blocks away.” Kurt ushered Rachel up the short corridor. 

“Cute,” Rachel commented as her eyes scanned the room. 

Noting the look on her face, Kurt responded, “It’s a bit small but it does the job.”

“I bet it does and some.” Rachel sarcastically mused as she passed under the arch.

Blushing, Kurt steered her under the arch to reveal his pride and joy. The boys spent a lot of time and effort making the room over while accenting other rooms with splashes of colour. Neutral sage beige walls with stark white trim offset the monotone nature of the rest of the suite. The old futon rested against the wall with the next apartment with a low-end table and lamp at one end. Two chairs from the dining table sat on either side of a large fern resting on a low table in front of the window. The square dining table and two chairs fit into the corner allowing both men to see out the window when they sat to eat. Two shelves with modern, open sides stood side by side against the bedroom wall filled with movies, books and an iPod stereo device. They stripped and stained the coffee table from the loft to match the rich, deep oak colour of the dining table. A bright carpet rested beneath it and enlarged photos of the green spaces around Lima dotted the wall. A smallish flat screen television sat on the top bookshelf facing the futon on an angle. A pill of pillows at one end of the couch suggested the two men cuddled up together to watch a show. Evening sunshine brightened the window casting fat beams across the furniture to sparkle off two Swarovski crystal bird figurines at the at the end of a shelf. Metallic flicks twinkled in the colourful ceramic bowl between the crystal and books. 

“Did your parents give you all this?” Rachel purred as she looked the room over.

“You didn’t tell her, did you?” Blaine gave Kurt an inquiring look from across the hall.

One eyebrows rose above the other as Rachel peered at Kurt. “Tell me what?” 

“Blaine’s scholarship came through,” Kurt proudly stated with a glance toward the kitchen where he saw his husband setting everything on a tray.

“Wow, that’s great.” A hint of jealousy tinged Rachel’s voice.

“Blaine’s taking music composition and theatre production at NYU and acting and dancing at NYADA,” Blaine responded as he walked from the kitchen carrying refreshments. 

“That’s great,” Rachel sat on the futon placing her hand on the soft fabric. “This is new, and the old lumpy cushion had been replaced.”

Sitting on the couch next to Rachel, Kurt smiled, “After all the school expenses were taken care of we decided to buy a few things.”

“By the look of things, more than a few.” Rachel gave Kurt a puzzled glance and then looked to Blaine who laid the tray on the coffee table. “How much was the scholarship?”

“Thirty thousand a year for three years,” Blaine replied as he pulled up a chair, so he could sit close to his husband before poured the wine.

Passing a glass to Rachel, Kurt injected, “Mine was bumped up to match.”

Jealousy flashed in Rachel’s eyes as she shifted to cross her legs. Raising her glass, she proclaimed, “To a fun school year ahead.”

“To a good semester.” Blaine indicated the new trappings of the room with his glass before lightly touching it against the other glasses. The three of them sipped.

“You know I could hold onto the loft and you can move back. It would be cheaper.” Rachel smiled at the two young men and then sipped her wine again.

Exchanging glances, Blaine watched one of Kurt’s eyebrows go up and then his husband replied, “Thanks Rachel, but you need your space and we need to be alone.”

For a second it appeared as if Rachel would become upset and the conversation switch tracks. Back then Blaine had no idea what pleasures and troubles would come from her innocent words. It, however, became one of the defining moments of their young lives. It started with a loud hubbub invading a much-needed nap. Rolling out of bed, a weary man stubbed his toe which it translated into a hard arch of pain racing up an old man’s chest. Drawing in a deep breath made the aged Blaine’s torso throb. Rubbing the bags under his eye he then pressed his face against his palms. Drawing a shaky breath, his thoughts shifted as the mind swirled into the mist of despair.

Violent tingling fingertips set off alarm bells bringing a distinct fear to the surface. An old body wailed at the idea of no longer existing but the love he had shared for so long rallied his shattered thoughts. Tears soaking his skin, he stuck his nose into old wool and drew in Kurt’s familiar scent just as another sharp pain radiated into his back. Life stumbled around him but in his thoughts, he saw his younger self-staggered out of the dark bedroom wearing shorts and hauling t-shirt over an unruly mop of hair. Kurt literally bounced on his feet as he dragged his confused husband to the living room to find Jesse standing there with an unsettled look on his face. On the other hand, Rachel joyfully searched for a bottle of wine. 

Trying to undercover the mystery availed Blaine nothing as all eyes fell on Rachel as she strolled into the room with a bottle in one hand and a proud look on her face. Giving Blaine a peculiar glance she went back to get glasses with Kurt trailing behind her with a devilish look on his face. Moments later, she crossed her legs and contently sipped while rubbing Jesse’s hand with the other. No one spoke for a while but then memory recalled the way a delicate subject saw the light of day—Kurt blurt it out. 

Leaning in, Kurt rubbed his lover’s back with a worried look on his face. In a low voice he pleaded, “You alright?” 

“Blaine?” Rachel’s voice interrupted the clamouring of a stunned mind. 

“Let him have a chance to catch his breath.” Jesse stared into Rachel’s dark eyes revealing both love and apprehension. 

Two men knew the story of how Rachel standoffishly tried to keep Jesse at arms length but soon those arms wrapped around him. Five weeks after encountering each other in a theatre, she brought him over to the boys for dinner. While the four of them caught up Rachel unexpectantly caught Jesse off guard by announcing their state of coupledom. At first Jesse gapped and then he just smiled before leaning in to kiss her. A little over eight months later Rachel moved into Jesse’s apartment and three months later Jesse proudly proposed.

Why he thought of it at that moment stymied young and old Blaine alike. Seeing Jesse back in Rachel’s life came as a surprised but nothing like the conservation to come. Trying to keep it together, young man’s mind frayed and then an intoxicating thought sparked a moment of reason. Slowly Blaine’s face curled up into a full smile and then he stared a Kurt like a lost puppy. For some reason Blaine, young and old, could eat him up right here and now. 

“I think it finally sunk in,” Rachel silently commented. Unlike the others, she did not hover over Blaine. Sitting back she nursed her wine with a superior look on her face.

One eyebrow raised, Jesse looked concerned. In a low voice he suggested, “Give him a little room.”

“Honey?” Kurt choked on the simple word. 

“You want us to have a . . . child?” Blaine swallowed hard and the let out a heavy sigh bringing the colour back to his face. Taking his lover’s hands, Blaine stared into those beautiful blue eyes. “After three and a half years of marriage, you want a . . . baby.”

“With you, yes.”

“A little one of us?” 

“Yes, we can flip a coin.”

“A coin, really Kurt? We got our degrees and the first production slowly took hold felt nothing could make me happier . . . but a baby?”

“Yes, Blaine, child . . . our child.” Kurt beamed at Blaine with watery eyes.

“Our little one-bedroom apartment would be too small . . .” Blaine’s thought stumbled. “Wow . . . a little copy of ourselves.”

“Yes, a little fuzzy haired boy.” Kurt beamed as he touched a soft curl of Blaine’s ears.

Leaning in so his forehead touched Kurt’s Blaine whispered, “Or a fussy little girl.”

Stoking the side of his husband’s face, Kurt said, “A child of ours, flying around the living room screaming and yelling. Terrible two, the horrors of sixteen, school . . .”

Blaine cut in, “And smelly diapers.”

Kurt made a disgusted face, but Blaine’s mind swam as he reached out taking Kurt’s hands. With blurry eyes he stared at the man noting the adorable, willing look on his handsome face. The fluttering within his chest paralyzed as the simplest thoughts washed away with the dishwater. Eye shifting back to the wall as an image of standing in the dark holding a baby bottle cut through the fog coating his brain.

Pulling back, Blaine gazed into those heavenly blue eyes knowing deep down the idea of a child thrilled him. Before his father caught him choking his chicken, he would baby sit the neighbour’s kids from time to time. He loved the innocence of toddlers and the way they asked questions which always brought something new into their lives. The young, creative teen enjoyed telling stories and the little ones would sit there enthralled but the addition of sound effects and different voices. It sparked what would become his life long dream.

Then came a fateful day and his banishment from the realm of younger children. Back then he did not understand why but now, he knew his father did it out of fear. What would the neighbours have said if it came out their baby sitter lived in sin? Blaine never reconsidered himself to be religious. Of course, he went to church because his parents demanded it, but did he believe? 

“My mother is going to be ecstatic and my . . . dad . . . oh god . . .” Blain’s head drooped.

“Don’t think about it, my love.” Kurt caressed the hand holding his. “He had not even congratulated us about our wedding but if means anything, my mom and dad will be tickled pink.”

“I’m a little afraid of what Burt will . . .“ Blaine fell silent and ran a hand thought his hair. “A . . . wow . . . a baby.”

“Yes, a baby?” Kurt softly answered pressing his hand tightly into his husbands.

His face brightening, Blaine gazed at Kurt and whispered, “The two of us having a baby.” 

Sitting there with a glass cupped in two hands, Rachel patiently watched. Grinning from ear to ear, she finally broke her silence. “No, quite yet, boys. We need to decide who’s going to shoot into a cup, so I can do the rest.”

“What?” Sitting up straight, the colour drained from Blaine’s face again. 

“Gross.” Kurt looked disgusted.

“Okay, a turkey baster, you ninny.” Rachel chuckled and then calmly sipped her wine.

Shaking his head, Jesse face shifted from surprise to concern. “You’re not helping, dear.” 

Frowning, Rachel peered at her fiancé over her wine glass and shook her head. “And no, they don’t have to do that.”

“That?” Blaine’s brows pushed together.

“You know, lie back and think of England.” Rachel managed to keep a straight face though she eyed Blaine up and down.

Making a face, Kurt looked as if he might say something and then Jesse, said, “Stop playing with them dear. All you are doing is frightening the three of us.”

Out of the blue, Blaine broke into laughter. With a huge smile on his face he kissed his handsome husband on the cheek. “My god, Kurt, you and I with a child.”

Still repulsed by the though of doing that, Kurt stared a Rachel. “Oh, my love, we’re . . .”

Cutting his husband off, Blaine eyes shifted to Rachel. “Are you . . . serious Rachel?”

“Yes, I am” Rachel sat back and then gazed Jesse taking his hand. 

Turning his head toward the sound, Blaine spread his closed mouth wide and then looked to Jesse. In a quiet tone he asked, “You’re in agreement with this?”

Scratching his head, eyes slowly went to his future wife. He downed his wine leaving the impression there could be dissent.

Concerned, Blaine asked, “When did this come up?”

Running a hand through her hair, Rachel leaned forward and took one of Blaine’s hands. “This afternoon at coffee.”

“I can’t even remember how we got on the subject?” Kurt sat back on the futon though a hand remained on Blaine’s knee.

“Let me see,” Jesse’s head rolled to toward his wife-to-be. His tone sounded flat. “You and Kurt were complaining about the mothers in the corner who paid no attention to the crying kids in their strollers. Rachel said to Kurt something about he would not understand unless he had kids of his own. Kurt retorted with something like, ‘yeah right, I would not even know what to do with a child’. My dearest Rachel replied by basically daring Kurt to come up with the goods. Kurt retorted stating that the two of you kept trying, but something just does not seem to work. Then Rachel, to my utter surprise, blurted out she was open to a rental.”

Rachel shot her husband to be a sour look. The man lowered his head and squeezed Rachel’s hand. “I want kids of my own, but it’s Rachel’s body and her nine months.”

“Our nine months,” Kurt injected with a grin. 

“Are you sure you want to walk down the aisle looking like a balloon?” Blaine asked Rachel with raided eyebrows. 

That got a dirty look and then she turned to the man she loved and kissed his hand. “I love you Jesse and I know this is a big burden, but I want to do this for my dearest friends. They have done so much for me from helping me through the turmoil of growing up and Finn’s . . . death. Kurt endured the ranting of my Fanny devaship. Honestly, I think it is a small thing in return.”

Smiling peaked at the two men and then gazed at Rachel. A sweet smile lightened his mood and he said, “I love you Rachel and if you want to do this, it is up to you. I can’t pretend it doesn’t bother me and I have no formal claim on your biological functions . . . yet. I guess I can wait my turn for a rental.”

Rachel corrected her fiancé with that firm, no-nonsense tone. “Not rental, rentals.”

Once more the colour drained from Blaine’s as his Adams apple bounced up and down in his throat. “As in plural?”

Rolling her head, a loud puff of air escaped Rachel’s lips. In an authoritative tone, she said, “Okay, Blaine, Kurt, here’s the deal. I know the two of you have talked about it having kids at some point. I’m willing to rent my womb and my eggs are available on a time limited basis. Once the dear man beside me makes an honest woman of me, the store is closed except for exclusively selfish orders. Now what do you say?”

Two young men gave each other inquisitive glances.

“Tick tock, tick tock, the clock’s ticking?” Rachel replied in a soft voice as adoring eyes gazed at the two men.


	31. Blaineland

Pain splashed through him in horrific waves causing muscles to tighten in the chest and back. A bead of sweat rolled down his check and onto his lips leaving a trace of salt. A second followed striking the brow where it became lost in a bush of grey white hair. Breathing staggered and for a short moment it felt as if he would pass out. Then, it all snapped like an elastic pulled to tight. Enduring the uneven crescendos of agony washing through his extremities and back, an old man inhaled a long, shattered breath. The motion of his expanding ribs sent a spike down to his feet. Thought veered away from logic making it feel as if hours passed until his chest allowed him to draw in more air. 

Slipping deeper into the fog, the acclaimed composer and stage star caught snippets of this and that. A skinned knee or a little one throwing up on his best jacket made for a short chuckle mixed with pain. A look from the audience made his heart flutter and then the feeling those lips pressing against his soothed frayed nerves. Two men walked through blossoming gardens carrying the young children and then a long night with the twins crying. A car whizzed by splashing water against his leg and then a large man called him a fag. Hazel eyes gazed fondly at the golden idol in his hands as he turned to make a speech thanking his family. Fists struck piano making a dreadful noise and then the heaven of Kurt deep inside him made everything perfect. 

The thought stretched wrinkled cheeks and then a thick root of torture shot down his arms, but this felt different. A mix of the lose and the physical discomfort of his body found itself overlaid by something consisting of loving warmth. The bizarre struggle left him wondering if he would be remembered after his death. Vanity brought on by fame demanded his name go on, but the realities of life slapped him in the face saying the couple may be nothing more than a footnote. As he grew older he often brooded on this somewhat irrational fear. After the kids got to the age where they could understand better, Blaine told them stories of what he remembered about departed family members. In his forties he started to research and write it all down. At a time when physical books became rare, Blaine had his works properly bound in leather. Giving volumes to his children, he hoped his great grand children would add to it. 

Autographed copies sat in a place of honour behind glass on the shelf below their awards. Blaine ensured the husbands signed each tome for the sake of their love and the future. He discovered he enjoyed digging into the past impressing himself with what he found. The Hummel history went back to England of Henry the Sixth. Settled in the Midlands, they farmed the land a landed gentry and made a decent living at it. One branch of the family moved to the colonies in the mid-seventeen hundreds settling in what would be modern day Nova Scotia. Prior to the War of Independence, an offshoot took over a land grant in Ohio where they remained. The family in England became mostly forgotten until Katherine moved there and started to search. 

Pam’s side of the family landed in Boston from France in the eighteen fifties and made fortune. World War One started with them losing most of their money, making it back again when it ended. In the twenties they owned land in on coast but lost it again in the crash of twenty-nine. World War Two hit the French side of the family hard with many working and dying for the resistance. De Gaulle awarded one of Pam’s great-uncles the legion of Honour posthumously. 

On his father’s side, Blaine discovered something he did not know— mixed blood. His grandfather married a woman of Filipino descent. When growing up he wondered why some people would call him derogatory names when he thought he just tanned well. In time he figured out Cooper inherited his looks from his mother side and he picked up on his father’s oriental ancestry. It made him consider the fact Daniel might be ashamed of his oriental side, thus the way he treated his youngest son. The thought vanished seconds later with and old man rolling his eyes and mouthing the single word—asshole.

Thinking of his father infuriated a dying man resulting a harsh rush of discomfort caressing his extremities. Hauling in short laboured breathes, he pushed his thoughts toward Kurt, but his mind landed on something equally depressing—Alexander’s forced relocation. In twenty forty-eight it became obvious the coastal protection projects turned out to be a dreadful miscalculation with far-flung political consequences. Contentious arguing and stalling of the political two parties in power ended in constitutional reform removed the electoral collage and allowed the president to serve more than two terms. By the time they started measuring the rising water in inches per year but rather inches a month the world side crisis forced change beyond measure. 

Another huge change occurred when the Chinese realized they could do little to defend their coastlines. With hundreds of billions wasted, they started over again by raising huge walls, dug down to bedrock and made of molded plastic, along the rivers starting at the seventy-five-foot above sea level mark. The Chinese decision changed everything because the whole effort became organized on a truly national scale. Knowing there would be massive shortages they went further than just building walls and moving people. Tens of millions found themselves drafted into a huge public work’s program where teams ravaged the emptying cities for anything that could be used—windows, doors, pipes, sinks, toilets, furniture, roofing, siding and much more. They stripped it all out removing the pollutants for recycling or disposal, stores shelves and the machines of heavy industry got packed up and moved. The huge cranes from container ports got dismantles and stored until such a time proper harbours could be rebuilt. Until then, the Chinese copied the idea the American’s used in Normandy during World War Two by building mobile harbours. Up and down the coast millions of shipping containers found themselves carted inland and retrofitted to house the displaced. 

The Great Wall Against the Flood gave man a chance to stem the relentless flow of water seeping over the fertile lands of the coastal river deltas and lowlands. World tensions slackened as foes joined forces to prevent a larger disaster. While the effort averted the collapse of civilization, it did not prevent riots, looting and the death of hundreds of millions from starvation and decease. 

By the time Blaine celebrated his eightieth birthday, Manhattan and several other burrows existed as an island of high-rises. From their rooftop the couple often sat there staring at the wall surrounding the city wondering when the huge structure would collapse. Over the years they kept adding to the barrier defending them making it higher and thicker. Connecting it to the highlands to the west with a causeway, which doubled as a dike, by the end of the twenty first century it started to fail.

As the global catastrophe worsened Blaine often wondered why they tried to save the cities on the coast. In the first third of the century a lot of people doubted. In the middle third the exodus hit a feverously unorganized level as millions fled inland leaving those who refused to give up the fight. Using the scraps from abandoned buildings outside the protective ring using it to build up the walls. In the last third and trillions of dollars later, they government finally gave in and forced people to leave. 

Seven years go, the United Nations announced the ocean level showed sign of stabilizing at a staggering one hundred and seventeen above the time of Blaine’s birth. The relief which circled the world lasted a few short years until a study of Antarctica added another fifty to seventy-five feet over the next two hundred years. Arguments erupted over the new science opening old wounds and creating conflict. The people had enough, and the governments forgot tracking the money they spent. Economically the world suffered worse than the great depression while spiritually religions and faith thrived. 

Thankfully, the combustion engine and coal burning plants became obsolete as factories converted to a new environmental friendly standard reducing carbon emissions. The advent of fusion reactors moved mankind toward a safer nuclear energy source and a plentiful energy source. Pollution became a huge issue as did the old reactors in unsafe areas. With the fuel removed to underground bunkers far inland, they buried the leftovers under mounds of concrete and lead. 

Dwindling mountain snow packs dropped river and lake levels accenting a problem which continued haunted society even today—food and freshwater. Consumed with the need to protect and then depopulate the coastlines, reality hit in two thousand seventy-two with slaughter of close to one hundred thousand in the Kenya food riots. Hundreds of billions of dollars later, pipelines moved saltwater to inland desalination and purification plants prior to pumping it into massive underground reservoirs and existing lakes. 

Food issues took less effort and money but needed great innovation. In the end, huge high rise like building covering hundreds of acres of formally unproductive land around the overpopulated cities. Large livestock took up the ground level with fowl and smaller animals occupying the second. The dung became the fertilizer for the hydroponics on the levels above. Top floors sprouted orchard and plants needing high amounts of light while huge tanks dug into the ground around the perimeter recirculated the runoff and providing a habitat for fish. By the end of the twenty first century civilization looked nothing like it had at its beginning.

The mind slipped to the taste of a ripe orange and an old man blinked. Running a hand through his thin hair, hazel eyes caught a glimpse of a time piece pondering why his thought could not focus on the joys he relived? Perhaps it had to do with the reason Mary came to visit outside the regular schedule. Three weeks ago, Blaine and Kurt received their evacuation notice and it sent two elderly men into a tizzy. Some place in Oregon would become their new home and not because of a kind government. Powerful friends arranged for them to move into something which did not resemble a refurbished shipping container. With care and understanding, Mary and her husband prepared them for the day the government movers would arrive to take them away to a new retirement home on a secure government compound.

Knowing he would soon follow his beloved Kurt, old Blaine considered what his family might end up with? Would the authorities allow to inherit and occupy the home put aside for a famous couple who witnessed their last sunrise? Why would a dying man care, but he did? Love for his family made him worry about their future in a world where the weather had never been worse. Some scientist now worried an ice age would follow the reduction of carbon levels. If he had known the world would be given a major makeover, Blaine would never have consented to sharing his sperm.

Pushing his nose into Kurt’s sweater the smell drawn into his nostrils brought a sense of calm. Remaining still for a moment he considered recent events and bit his lip. Tears welled up in his eyes and he suddenly felt guilty about brooding over what he had no control over. Sorrowfully, an old man rolled his head until blurry eyes stared up at Kurt’s loving lips. Jumbled thoughts about those he cherished and life in general spiraled into the peace he felt. The ache in his chest shifted from the erratic pounding of his heart to the warmth only years of admiration could create. The half of his face pressed against cloth and skin curled up into a smirk which always drove Kurt to distraction. 

Sighing, old Blaine wished he could see those dreamy blue eyes. Turning his head, so his lips touched bare skin. Pushing them out, he kissed the man he loved as a beautiful memory allowed him to relive a delightful dinner. Just as fast it flipped back to his childhood and a happy time at a river beach with his family. Then he saw Kurt again in Dalton followed by the two of them singing in a grand theatre in Stockholm. Rides on trains and sleeping on planes popped in and out followed by a dreadful argument ending in loving sex. 

Drawing in a deep breath, pain surged in his chest and back before settling back to a dull ache. Lying with his head on Kurt’s forearm for a short while, old Blaine sensed a faint glimpse of the events of their first anniversary. Candles and a simple dinner followed by dancing with friends before retiring for a gentle and exhilarating end to a wonderful day. It felt special and normal at the same time confirming how easy wedded life could be. Enjoying the moment, he wished his mind would settle on something but then it spun again. 

Concentrating became a chore. He wanted to remain at that point but then his mind rippled forward to two young men lay in bed reading textbooks. Shirtless with the comforter pulled up to their nipples to keep the chill away, light streamed down the wall above them. Shoulder to shoulder with his love, young Blaine questioned why they studied after sex. The whole moment seemed bizarrely out of place but then their life boiled about them. School intensified with Blaine running between campuses some days followed by night shift after. Feeling tired but renewed, perhaps he acclimatized to the new reality of short nights and long days. 

Stretching his legs under the sheet, the sigh escaping Blaine’s lips caused ghostly blue eyes to shift prior to moving the head. The orbs first went to the man’s chest where a nipple surrounded by short stubble enticingly rose and fell with each breath. An hour and a half ago, he nibbled on that erect piece of lavish flesh and they felt the chill. Air-conditioning during the summer and blasting the heat in winter proved expensive and stretched their limited resources further. 

Pulling his thought from the sight before him, Kurt brows pulled together. Blue eyes found Blaine staring up at the ceiling and not the thick book balanced on his upright knees. Moving his body from side to side to get his lover’s attention, he whispered, “You’re off in Blaineland, again.”

Blinking, Blaine felt his breath catch in his throat. Forcing it out, the book in his hands drooped and he sighed again. “The bane of my existence.”

Shuffling a little closer, Kurt softly asked, “What’s bothering you, my love?”

Rolling his head so that he could see Kurt’s hair, Blaine appreciated what Kurt did. Pursing his lips, he said, “I’ve been thinking about finances.” 

“Again. You have to . . .”

“Let it go when the MasterCard bill is screaming at me in my head and I’m hoping the electricity bill is less this month.”

“We’ll be find and if it means spending more time in bed with you, I’ll take it. Besides, if we stay this way we can turn the heat off altogether.”

“We seriously miscalculated thinking the scholarship would be enough.”

“We could not have foreseen the hidden pitfalls. You needed a piano.” 

“I would have liked a real one, but then the electric one takes up less room. The sound equalization system cost more than I expected and then you needed to go to Montreal.”

Touching Blaine brow, Kurt softly said, “And you came with me.”

“Even though we could not really afford it.” Blaine fist unexpectedly struck the mattress under the sheets pushing a heavy book to one side. “The adding costs just infuriate me. It feels as like we’re getting nowhere.”

Picking himself up, Kurt grasped his husband’s face and stared into his alluring hazel eyes. Leaning in his soundly kissed his Blaine and then said, “My love, there’s no use . . .”

The words faded as Blaine threw his lips into Kurt’s. When he pulled back he whispered, “Just curl up beside me and be the man I love so much.”

Shifting his body, Kurt place each tome on the side table and snuggled up against Blaine. Drawing the covers up he whispered, “There you go, nice and warm.”

“You always make me warm, my handsome husband.” Blaine nestled up pushing a mop of fuzzy hair into Kurt’s ear. The feeling of that lean body beside him always made him feel better especially when the thought everything went wrong. 

“I try my best.”

“You’re my Bunsen burner.”

“It’s one of my jobs along with being cook, chief bottle washer and all round fluffer.”

Pushing off, Blaine roller onto his elbow so he can stare Kurt’s eyes. “I do not need a fluffer to get me all hot at bothered. You’re hot enough.”

“Oh, how sweet,” Kurt replied with a deadpan look.

Looking put out with statement and its tone, Blaine frowned. Suddenly Kurt pounced as hands search for those tender spots where tickling verged on torture. Defending himself, Blaine pulled the sheets in about him as he curled up into a ball. Laughing and giggling, Kurt had the upper hand because his ticklish sport could not be accessed that easy. On the other hand, running a finger over Blaine’s nipples drove him mad or soft fingers hovering just over his leg hair made him twitch. Two loving men tossed and wiggled for a short with one yelling his surrender. When it ended Kurt’s bare butt straddling Blaine’s hip with the bedding tied up around both of them. 

Slowly, even deliberately, Kurt leaned in and set his lips gently to his partner’s thick match. Light and sexually tentative, it mirrored the way their love morphed over their first year of marriage. Teasing as he pulled back, Kurt pressed his nose against Blaine’s. 

Gazing into those exploded pools of blue, Blaine tied to look crossed, but he could not stop himself from beaming. “You’re gorgeous.”

Flopping his head back and passing finger through his tossed hair, Kurt revealed that smugness Blaine had not seen for months. Leaning in he kissed his husband and whispered, “I guess I am.”

“You’re such a card.” Blaine mused and then arched up to kissed him back.

“Its getting a little chilly up here,” Kurt stated with his nose hovered barely an inch from Blaine’s. Sitting up, he cupped his hands together he said in an accented tone with an innocent look on his face, “Please sir, can I cuddle with you. I’d like more, sir.”

“Oh, you can have more than just more.” Blaine started to tug at the tangled sheets. “I miss my sexy snuggle bunny.”

They laughed as they untangled themselves allowing Kurt to rest his head on Blaine’s shoulder with the quilt pulled up tight around him. “My love, don’t worry about it so much.”

“I was looking forward to the perfect cookie cutter life.” Blaine rubbed his hand up and down Kurt’s back under the sheet. “As the months pass I get more and more upset. Shit . . . we can’t even keep the heat up at a decent temperature. If we can’t even . . .”

“Shh-h-h-h,” Kurt made a sad face. 

“But our dream is dying.” Blaine rolled his head back into the pillow, so he looked up in the ceiling. “We’re never going to be able to . . .”

Nuzzling up closer, Kurt rested his chin on Blaine’s chest. A hand reached up from under the covers and stroked an unshaven cheek. “We have each other and we’re still in school.”

“We’re slowly drowning,” Blaine let out a long sigh and glanced at the narrow piano pushed against he bedroom wall. “We can’t afford to do any beyond out needs and the emergency fund is all but gone.”

“Blaine, you needed those for you courses. The scholarship money will be coming through soon and then we’ll be flush again.”

“I’ve been thinking of cutting back my course load next semester, so I can work more.”

“Blaine, don’t. We knew it would be tough at the beginning. We can always . . .”

“Our parents and Cooper have given us enough.” Rolling his head so he looked at Kurt, Blaine grinned. “I’m sorry.”

“Blaine, I get it.” Kurt smiled and stretched up to kiss Blaine on the nose. Placing his hand over his husband’s thumping heart he added, “I don’t want us to fight as we did before our anniversary, but you can’t keep it balled up in here. I’m your husband and I’m here to listen to you get these things off your chest.”

“I happen to like you on my chest, but this is such a bother for you.”

“No, Blaine, it isn’t. We promised to put aside a little time each day to blow off steam. I’m your sounding board just as you pull me out of my box I toss all those little problems in as if they were garbage. In many ways we’re opposites but in others we are so well matched.”

“I know, but sometimes I think it would be better if we . . .”

“Oh, my lovely, over thinking Blaine, that’s giving in. We’re not broke . . .”

“Yet.”

“We’re far from broke, Blaine. You’ve handled things so well and next semester won’t have so many expensive surprises.”

“I hope we don’t get another huge rent increase like the neighbours.”

“Replacing the roof and windows. That’s expensive.”

“But one hundred and sixty dollars a month? We can’t afford that.” Blaine sighed. “We need to find a little more cash or cheaper place to live.”

“And give up the park you love for the less reputable neighbourhood.” Kurt blew warm air overexposed chest hair.

Squirming, Blaine moaned, “I just wish something would go right for once.”

“Lots of things have gone right.” Giving his life partner a look, Kurt said, “So, what’s really brought this on? George?”

Blaine frowned and sighed. “The manager gave the job to a family member.” 

Stroking that curly hair, Kurt stated, “George says there’s another opportunity coming up soon and this time the general manager is doing the hiring. You have some seasoning now with your studies at NYU. That will count for something.”

Shaking his head, Blaine suddenly deflated as if all the fight ran from him. Half smiling, he admitted, “I’m being a poop aren’t I.”

“Moderately.” Kurt kissed him. 

“I can be such a bother at times I wonder why you put up with me sometimes.”

A hand fell heavily on Blaine’s chest followed a stern look. Softening his appearance, Kurt spoke in calm tones, “You said this once and I’m going to repeat it. I like the model I have and will never turn him in. Just remember we’re here for each other and will be for many years to come.”

“How I appreciate . . .” Blaine stopped when his phone produced a piece of piano music his partner happened to love.

Caught in the sheets, Kurt reached backward to grab the mobile device with the bumpy edge of the rubberized padding protecting Blaine’s phone. Straining to see the readout, he said, “It’s your mother.”

Taking the phone, Blaine swiped it and pulled Kurt close as he placed it against his ear. “Hi mom.”

Kurt took note as the expression on Blaine’s face change suddenly to serious. Lying a hand on his husband’s chest as concern passed over his face.

“Did dad . . .” Blaine fell suddenly silent as if he listened then his appearance quickly changed, and water glistened on his lower lashes. Closing his eyes for a second, he drew in a deep breath and then asked, “When’s the funeral?”


	32. Cousins

It saddened the youngest to see the grief in his mother’s face. Blaine’s heart fell but he found solace in the fingers intertwined within his. Fully aware of Kurt’s anxiety, he would be forever thankful for his presence. 

“You heard me,” Pam turned and looked at her husband with stern eyes. 

The whole affair earned Pam a dirty look from the edge of the room. Slowly hard eyes rolled toward Blaine and then Daniel commented, “You always coddled that . . .”

“Don’t say it!” Cooper warned taking an involuntary step forward.

Relegated to the edge of the room, the Anderson’s younger son stared across Cooper’s chest at he lawyer. Mother and brother wisely separated father and the recently married couple but that did to stop the occasional hateful glare. Father and son had not occupied the same space for nearly two years and it showed. At one time his father intimidated Blaine but now the man wore a ring and even though he felt a heaviness in his chest, he would have no more of it. He loved Kurt, and nothing would take that way.

Hazel eyes drifted from the window to the mirror and Blaine looked at himself with sadness on his face. Thank god Kurt lay beside him to make his nights easier. Some say funerals brings the best out of people but ready of the wills could bring out the worst. Well his father fell somewhere between. The intolerable man made his opinion known the first night the entire family got together by slamming the door in Kurt’s face with his husband standing right beside him. Two young men stared at each other as then raised voices passed through the threshold. Seconds later the door swung open and Trish stood there with a finger pointed at Daniel. Suddenly turning, she drew the two men into a warm huge. From behind Cooper wrapped the three of them in his arms and squeezed tight. 

Shaking his head, Blaine noted Kurt in the mirror and smiled. In his heart he felt the power the dear man held over him. Pride swelled in his chest telling Blaine nothing would stand against their happiness. 

“Do you think I should put on another layer,” Kurt asked as he sat on the bed slathering sunscreen over his face. Both expected beaches filled with scantily clad men and woman, but he had to settle for a strip mall and pudgy men in tank tops. Luckily their window overlooked the pool with a slow-moving river beyond a thick clump of palm trees.

“You’ll be fine, dearest,” Blaine replied as he slipped this tie under his collar. The sun looked good on him with his skin easily gaining that bronzy colour.

Glancing over his shoulder, Kurt gave Blaine an apprehensive look. “I should start sneaking bronzer into your body cream, again.”

Rolling his eyes, Blaine let out a huff and then commented before thinking, “Oh, our first disagreement.” 

Kurt loudly sighed.

“Sorry, my love.” Blaine walked over and kissed Kurt on the top of his head. “I guess I’m a little stressed.”

“A little?”

“You know what I mean.”

“That was so long ago, and now its just a fond memory.” Kurt glanced up at his charming partner blowing him a kiss.

“You mean something to remind us.” Blaine turned to the mirror and fiddled with his tie.

“That too.” Kurt bowed his head and he turned to gaze at Blaine. “I am so happy your brother was there for you and he’s been nothing but kind to us. Neither of us would be here if it had not been for him.”

“Yeah, he has been really cool.”

“He loves his little curly headed brother and so do I.”

“But you did try to give me a noogie yesterday. He’s still a brat.”

“And you’re not?”

“Ha ha. When was the last time I was bratty?”

“This morning.”

“It that is what you call bratty, I have to give you more.”

Smiling Kurt winked. “You’re just being a greedy bitch.”

“Why not?” Blaine’s face curled up into that one-sided smirk. “I’m not sharing you with that guy at the pool yesterday.”

“Oh please, he’s chubby.”

“The way you were looking him up and down, oh please, I never though I married a chubby chaser.”

“You have the only chubby I like,” Kurt smirked and then glanced at his husband, with narrowed eyes. “Who peed in your cornflakes.”

Smirking, Blaine’s eyes rolled toward the window. “Dad’s going to be there and after last night I . . .”

“You want me to absorb all his malice because he hates me?” The expression on Kurt’s face lay somewhere between comical and serious. 

Taking those steps to the bed, Blaine sat and took his lover’s hand. “I want you there because I love you.”

“Now, you’re being a brat.” Slapping that hand ever so lightly, Kurt mused. “But you don’t need to plead. You know I would never let you face him alone.” 

“What I really want is for my dad to see we are a couple regardless of what foolishness he believes.” Blaine leaned against Kurt. “Besides my cousins will be there and I need someone to look pretty on my arm.”

Head rolling to the opposite side from his eyes, Kurt’s hand landed on his cheek and he said in a southern drawl, “Why, I do declare Mr. Anderson, you make me blush.”

Grabbing his life partner, Blaine pressed their lips together wrapping his arms about him. Heads shifted to grant tongue action, they went on for a little while. 

After pulling back, Kurt looked down, in a soft voice he said, “Now looked what you did.”

A little bit confused at first, Blaine soon realized Kurt’s joystick straining against tight pants. 

A thin smile stretched an old man’s lips. He felt so nervous that morning for some reason but the sight of the tent in his husband’s pants sent his head spinning. Back then he knew he could not act on his thoughts and, at this moment, he wished he could. Blaine, old and young, would never have admitted this to anyone, including Kurt, but he fantasied about going with a bang. When Blaine said bang, he meant straddled over his husband in one of his favourite position watching the other man’s face contort as he drew near. 

Wrinkled hazel eyes shifted toward Kurt’s lap and then he draped a wrist over his deceased husband’s thigh. The shyness which attracted Blaine in the beginning played out throughout Kurt’s life minus a few extreme moments. Even though he made huge strides, Kurt still did not like to show outward affection in public. This never stopped them from holding hands on the red carpet and twice they kissed in front of the cameras. Sometimes Blaine would do something overt just to make Kurt blush just to see the adorable look on his husband’s face. 

The mind drifted for a second and another splash of pain shifting his view once more. Staring passed Kurt’s shoulder as he stared passed him out the window. Earth lay below them spinning in all its glory as spinning patterns of white crossed over shimmering blue. At sixty-three he made it into space riding one of the Virgin Atlantic shuttles to an orbiting cruise ship of he same name. Parties and live photo shoots marked the nine-day round-trip journey to the lunar colony on the light side of the moon. Several of the hotel chains had facilities there and this trip promoted the stark surface of the moon a tourist destination. Blaine never wanted to go, but the idea excited Kurt. Funny, it turned out Kurt had to be sedated for the ascent into space while Blaine reveled in it. 

With the pain in his chest spreading up his throat, old Blaine recalled the hilarious frustration of zero gravity sex. Laughing at the top of their lunges, they fumbled as they tried not send the other one drifting across the room. While the great circle of the thousand passenger vessel spun to create gravity, the owners set up rooms in the central core for such occasions. It cost extra and had to be reserved long in advance, but zero gravity sex became the most demanded private activity on space cruises. Two old lovers could not resist the temptation especially when they did not have to pay. 

Shifting his legs to relieve the pressure on boney buttock, something in his midsection caught between folds of fabric and a zipper pinching delicate flesh. Quickly readjusting himself, Blaine recalled how much he hated loose fitting garments. These days fashion tended to be utilitarian and suited to the realities of the way the new world. Chaos did little to help the fashion houses and most of them failed. In the last fifteen years new designers reinvented the old industry and Kurt looked as a sign civilization would survive even their beloved city would not. With the grand experiment winding down the last residents would be relocated by the end of next year. New York would be allowed to slip beneath the waves killing a dream a nation stubbornly hung onto. 

For five decades the relentless rising of the ocean loomed as the largest threat to their lives. The rubble reclaimed from the city outside the wall became fill. The old East River no longer existed as the mass of construction marched toward a former island the government determined to save. The city became a symbol of American ingenuity and pigheadedness. For two men It became a morbid reminder of the power of nature and the change they would eventually face. Every day they looked out of their window to see what the wrath of nature had done to Jersey. For ten years the family tried to get the old men to leave. More than once Mary and her family threatened to leave the two fools to their fate, but love flowed in her veins. 

The wisps of his mind fluttered like butterflies on the wind forcing a tired old man tried to focus. Blurry eyes scanned the room stopping on the pile of sealed plastic boxes stacked against the wall. A week ago, they packed everything except the mementos in their sitting room and the last bits in the bedroom. Today Mary came to catalog everything for the movers scheduled to arrive in ten days. On that day two men would go live with their granddaughter until they made the final move as a family unit. Now Kurt sat beside him with a silent heart. For a second Blaine thought Kurt cheated him by leaving as he had. Emotions swelled along but the pain in his chest told him Kurt led the way as always. He disliked New York at first and now he did not want to leave. He dear husband lured him to the massive city and now the sweet man deemed this the time to make a final statement about moving—dying in his beloved city. 

A smaller wave of pain rolling through his body carried a warm and loving sensation. Gurgling and the sound of spitting twins conjured up the fondness of subtle looks followed by the agony of shrill crying. The darling duo changed both men and regardless of his fear about the future, Blaine loved his children. Concentrating, he willed himself to find a spot in ancient memories and surprisingly, the mind settled back to a point wondering thoughts had disrupted. 

Old and young, Blaine chuckled and then his youthful self stated, “I don’t think two nelly queens fit that description.”

“Who are calling nelly?” Kurt flipped his wrist and blew his husband an exaggerated kiss followed by a hug.

“The two of us.” Blaine winked and then a loud sigh passed over his lips.

Frowning, Kurt looked up at his husband and the question which had been hovering on his lips finally escaped. He asked in a low voice, “Was you grandmother that rich?”

“I have no idea.” Blaine thankfully shrugged. “I knew she lived comfortably assuming it came from her husband’s insurance.”

“Oh.” Kurt looked innocent.

Touching Kurt on the back of the neck, Blaine slid his fingers over smooth skin. Tickling behind the ear he said, “Finish spreading that goop all over your face and let’s get down there before dad can arrange for you to sit in the next building.”

Moments later, the doors slid open and Blaine, holding Kurt’s hand, stepped from the elevator. Crisp, polished, white and gray tile stretched from on end of the lobby to the other. To either side of the main doors two plush modern couches placed against the walls with a glass table in front. A pillar surrounded by bright flowers rose up in the center of the concourse with the check-in desk placed between the four elevators servicing the fifteen-story building. To the left of the elevator automatic doors lead to meeting rooms and to the right a short hallway led to an intimate café and a sunny dining area.

Cooper and his pretty cousin, Kristen, sat facing each other on of the couches gabbing. His lovely cousin posed herself like Rachel when she held court at the Limabean. Taller than Blaine, but shorter than Cooper, her presence turned heads. Lounging against a large pillow with her legs delicately crossed. Curls of long dark blond cascaded down off her shoulders and onto the arm draped over a cushion. Her bold, handsome cousin leaned toward her with an elbow pressed in the couch supporting his head. At first Blaine thought his brother sat a little too close and the rest of the thought felt so creepy he pushed it aside. 

“Blaine! Kurt!” the older Anderson son beamed when he spotted the happy couple. Pulling his leg out from underneath him he shifted and said, “It’s about time you two got out of bed.”

Rolling his head, Blaine drew in a deep breath.

With a tiny smirk, Kristen shot back. “If I was married to either of these two I wouldn’t want to get out of bed either.”

Shocked, Kurt pulled his head back and glanced at Blaine noting the look on his lover’s face.

Feeling Kurt’s discomfort, Blaine gave him a reassuming look while squeezing his hand. Two days ago, they spoke late into the night about the relatives-by-marriage Kurt just met. Kristen lived half a nation away in New Mexico and Blaine rarely saw her. As a child he enjoyed playing the stupid games she made up and chasing her about the backyard. She took to Kurt immediately providing Blaine with a twinge of jealous. Husband and cousin chatted away like magpies sharing stories of who else—Blaine. 

Defending his chosen life partner, Blaine announced, “We’re been up for hours.”

“Good boy, I never thought you had staying power,” Cooper injected with an impish smirk.

Temper rising, Blaine snapped, “We went out to the river and sunned ourselves for a while.”

“Kurt? Really?” Cooper gave his cousin a look and then pointed at the young man. “He’s so pasty white you would think he’s an onion.”

“Stop picking on them.” Kristen gave Cooper a look and then glanced at Kurt with a raised eyebrow, “He might be pasty white as you put it, but he’s got something you will never have.”

Nose twitching, Cooper looked Kurt up and down and then asked, “What’s that? Dimples? Charm? Something other than my brother?”

“Elegance, grace and a killer ass,” Kristen’s expression remained flawlessly perfect.

Kurt sputtered as Cooper eyes scanned him again prior to releasing a scoffing chuckle.

Squeezing his husband’s hand Blaine tried to control himself. Fully aware of game played around him, he felt edgy nonetheless. “I think Kristen has it right. Your butt has been getting a little saggy lately big bro and my Kurt here has two juicy melons ripe for . . .”

“Blaine!” Kurt’s voice rose to the high-end of the register. Eyes wide he stared at his husband as his head pulled back.

“They’re sort of cute when they blush,” Trish commented as she walked up behind Blaine and Kurt. Pressing her head between the lovebirds, she rested her chin on her the shorter man’s shoulder.

‘Hey, cous,” Cooper smiled. “Kristen here has been giving them a bad time.”

“I bet,” Trish chuckled and then said to the young couple, “Now, give me a hug and then I’ll beat the bugger up for good measure.”

Blaine grinned because he knew, all too well, she used his older brother for a punching bag on many occasions. Throwing his arms about her, Blaine smiled because he truly loved Trish. She stuck up for a him when he was a kid and even gave Daniel her mind during the height of the gay issue. Standing slightly taller than Blaine, she piled her long blondish hair into an elegant bun on the back of her head. The oldest of her three siblings, at thirty, she used to babysit Blaine before her family moved to Seattle. She lived there still attending medical school and helping her parents with their store. Fully accepting Blaine and his new husband, she stood in stark contrast to her sister. Janice tried to accept the homosexual in the family, but then she lived in Alabama with her evangelistic husband. Sibling number two seemed forgetful about recognizing their wedding and greeted the newest member of the family with reserved politeness. Their youngest sibling, Oliver sent the boys a nice card and present when the word of their wedding got out. Regrettably, Oliver’s deployment in the Middle East prevented him from attending the funeral.

“You look dapper this morning, my darling.” Trish said as she released her cousin and reached out taking the ends of his bow tie and straightened it. “There much better.”

Blaine grinned and bumped his shoulder into Kurt’s. Fully aware of his husband felt out of his element here, Blaine worried. 

“It’s all in their genes,” Cooper shot back. “You know, something about innately knowing how to arrange flours, choose the right drapes and nice cloths.”

“Ha, ha,” Trish chided as he drew Kurt into a warm hug. 

“From the way you’re dressed, you could use a lot of gay in your day.” Kurt smugly retorted as his right hand waved in a wide circle in the air in front of him while he hung on to Trish. “You’ll never get an invitation by RuPaul looking like you want a noisy moment in the toilet.”

Breaking in hilarious chuckle, Kristen leaned to Cooper and pulled at his shirt. “Oh, that one’s got a quick tongue.”

“It’s one of the reasons, I love him.” Blaine pulled Kurt closer wrapping his arm about his waist. 

Trish grinned at Cooper. “Right . . . correct, can’t have you Walmart slumming. No one is supposed to know our somewhat famous cousin is here but then we can arrange for photographers.”

Shaking his head, Cooper gave his cousin a ‘really’ look and his eye shifted to Kurt with a sparkle of admiration. 

“Give him some cowboy boots and a wife beater before shoving him into the piggy barn,” a deep voice with a southern accent injected from behind. 

All eye went that way and two gay men smiled. Why should not they because Ken’s shoulders could blot out the sun. To make matters more enjoyable, the fabric of his button-down blue and white checked shirt stretched across his chest leaving little to the imagination. Corn feed and well built from long hours bailing hay and working with livestock, he missed his calling as the front line of a football team. His perfectly tanned, smooth complexion and deep dimples made him look puppy young. A broken front tooth ruined the look, so Kurt explained to his husband after he wheeled his tongue back in moments after they met. 

The hunky man stood there with his legs slightly apart as if Ken had been riding horses all his life. Well, Blaine knew this to be true considering Ken taught him how to ride. Even in his early teens Ken had a defined body and back then Blaine gravitated to him whenever the families got together. Everything changed when Daniel broke the news about the puffter in the family. A cousin, and more importantly a friend, had little to do with Blaine after that. The emails faded to a trickle and Skype dried up. The last time they met, Blaine attended Dalton and the build boy’s family stopped by one their long drive to Boston for a wedding. An awkward moment followed when the two teens faced off outside the upstairs bathroom. Eyes met and for a moment Blaine saw anger and then Ken’s head suddenly drooped. In a low voice he admitted he missed Blaine and apologized for beating his cousin up three years before. For a young teen, who had just become comfortable with himself, it meant everything.

Emails started up again and it took a while before Ken started asking the tough questions. A few long weeks passed before Blaine excitingly told his cousin about the boy he had met at school. Now, Ken stood close to that man in the flesh and he tried to play it cool. His clumsiness revealed itself when he greeted Blaine with a stiff handshake which turned into a loose huge. When it came to Kurt and the county boy did not quite know what to. By the end of the day to gay men had the country boy eating out of their hands. 

Having snuck up to the family gathering in the alcove, Ken placed a hand on Trish’s shoulder. Peering past her, he said, “Our famous cousin with his expensive pearly white smile could easily find him some hometown girl who would give him a litter kids and steady diet of meat and potatoes. Instead he lives his life in that sin city surrounded by . . . gods know what . . . beautiful starlets.”

“You’re just jealous.” Cooper shot back as his chest pumped out.

Hands on his hips like he stared down a bull, Ken retorted, “Damned right I am. I got the looks you can’t beat and Kurt’s right, your ass is getting flabby. Its sagging like that old lady in the Penthouse cartoons.”

“That’s my brother.” Kristen proudly stated with a playful flip of the hair.

“I dare you, oh, so good-looking, toothless Ken,” Cooper pulled himself up right. “I dare you to come to my sinful city and I can introduce your chicken ass to one or two of my starlet friends. We can stick that imperfect grin in front of the cameras while you pose like a man suck in pig shit up to his nuts.”

“Maybe I will since your time has got to be running out. In Hollywood years, like dog years, you’re an old troll now Coop. You’re just a left-over tugging on his joystick to prove you still got it.” Ken took a step closer beaming with an innocence which charmed every waitress they came across.

“Look who’s talking pickle dick.” Cooper stomped forward so the towered over his shorter and built cousin. “You still sticking it to old Bessy?”

Glaring up at the taller man, Ken snarled, “At least I don’t’ have to pay for it, almond balls.” 

Concerned, Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand giving him a look and just before he could say something the two cousins threw their arms about on another. Holding on tight and patting their backs, they laughed like dear old friends who had not seen each other for a long time.

A hand fell on Kurt’s shoulder and he looked over to see Kristen’s gazing at him with a relieved look. “It’s about time they got all that foolishness over with.”

“What do you mean?” Kurt looked confusingly at from Kristen to Blaine.

Blaine leaned against his lover feeling with a melancholy look knowing somehow, he had let his lover down. In a soft voice tinged with regret he whispered, “It’s like this every time they get together.”

Smiling at the young, bewildered man, Trish said, “It’s been simmering for two days now, but they’ve being respectful because of gran.”

“Look at the two of them standing there so macho.” Kristen wiggled her eyebrows, “In realty, they’re like to big bucks with little penises competing over an empty paddock.”

Bursting out laughing, Blaine glanced at Kurt as if pleading for something he had not quite figured out. 

Patted Blaine on the shoulder Trish glanced at Kurt and said, “Welcome to the family my dear, and don’t be afraid to let that sharp tongue waggle.”

A loud sigh escaped Kurt’s lips and he looked to his husband who returned an apologetic gaze. Biting his lower lip, he glanced at Kristen and replied, “I was lame, but it was the best I could come up with at the time.”

A wink and a grin later, Kristen, nodded. “Yeah, it was, but you’ll do fine once you understand the twisted dynamics.”

Ignoring the comments, Ken boasted, “My CD comes out in two months and they have it all set. Photo-shoots talk shows and the greatest looking horse. I’m going to be perfect.”

“My god, he’s like Cooper,” Kurt whispered to Blaine.

“Worse,” the other husband replied.

“You haven’t seen us at our best.” Cooper winked at Kurt before his hand fell on Ken’s shoulder and said to his cousin, “I told you Walt would come through.”

“What does he sing, Beyoncé?” Kurt sound excited.

Blaine’s nose unconsciously wrinkled above his frown. “He likes country music.”

Kurt made a face.


	33. Dad

The paper rustling beside him told Blaine he had survived—barely. Eyes closed and his had again the headrest, Blaine felt the plane level off somewhere above the clouds. The events of the past few days echoed in is thoughts leaving him felling exhausted. He loved his grandmother and cried when they lowered her ashes into the small, square grave shared with her departed husband. Kurt stood there with two hands clasped on his husband’s right while a son held his mothers with the other.

Going to bed upset made it hard to sleep but it did come. He woke before sunrise to find the sky outside slowly brightening with his naked partner sprawled out beside him. Lying there staring at that calm face, Blaine gave thanks for the man he loved. The darling man endured the shit heaped on him by an ungrateful father-in-law who toddled up to the burial slight smelling of alcohol. Running a finger over a smooth chest, tanned skin barely touched pale flesh. With care and delicate suspense, he tickled low-slung balls. When Kurt finally stirred he found a set of lips wrapped around his stretched cock. Surprised, he let his head fall back as he enjoyed the ride. Leading to something enthusiastically sweaty, their day started in a delicious way.

Curling up against each other and they lay there dozing. Looking through a crack in the drapes at the bright blue sky, Blaine quietly asked, “Why don’t we go down to the pool for a swim.”

Kurt smiled at his lover. “Maybe the sun will help you relax.”

“I’m sorry about everything.” Blaine’s head moved as he spoke.

“Your father’s being what I expected.”

“I wanted you here to be by my side and now I wish you didn’t come.”

“Blaine, you couldn’t have stopped me. Your grandmother meant a lot to you and I why would I have abandoned you anyhow? Love keeps me at your side. Now, lets drag our side down for that swim.”

Donned long trunks, Kurt slather himself with sunscreen with Blaine’s help. Drawing on shorter trunks, the curly headed man took no precautions against the sun. They swam and played for a while and then went out to a dock jutting out into the river with two boats tied to it. Leaning against his lover, Kurt flipped through a magazine he found by the pool while Blaine read over his shoulder. Contented with the way the morning dragged on, Blaine apprehensively wondered what the rest of the day would bring.

“You feeling better?” Kurt softly asked without looked up from the article he read.

“Yes.” Blaine set his lips onto the top of Kurt’s head.

“You’re breathing heavily, my dear.” The manner in which his hair moved told Kurt his husband shaking his head.

“I could never fool you, my love.” Blaine let out a sigh. “Dad is being a homophobic prick.”

Kurt gently rubbed his hand over Blaine’s knee. “I’m not going to argue with you, but he’s your father.”

“As far as I am concerned, I have a new father and his name is Burt.” The words came out in a rush as if Blaine barely put any thought into it.

Grinning from ear to ear, Kurt said in a hushed voice, “My dad learned to accept because I forced him to. Sort of.”

“Your dad is a nice man, Kurt. Yes, we had a few issues in the beginning but I knew it was out of his caring for you. He wanted to make sure.”

“Yes, he did. The idea of his son with another boy took a while for him to swallow.”

“But at least he did.”

“Blaine, take a long, hard breath and let it go.”

“I’m being me again, aren’t I.”

“I love you Blaine and I will do anything for you but sometimes you go on with things for too long.”

“I’m trying but my dad infuriates me.”

“You know?”

“What?”

“I like the way you took your frustration out on me this morning. I can get used to being woken that way.”

“I think we should take our feet out of the river. I’m getting too old to train a new husband.”

Pulling his foot up, Kurt’s face scrunched up and pressed his head back onto Blaine in an attempt to look at him. The sun blaring in his eyes caused him to look away. “Trainable?”

“Okay, I would never want to train you. I adore you the way you are.” Blaine pulled his foot up and stretched it out beside the man he loved. “You once said we need to be equals. Well then, we learn from each other and make our way through life knowing we have done our best.”

“You’re so good to me.”

“I know.” Blaine kissed Kurt’s hair again drawing in the scent.

Snuggling back into his husband, Kurt smiled and there they remained happy and quiet until the turbulence of the plane jarred Blaine’s thoughts. Beside him Kurt absently turned a page of Gentlemen’s Quarterly before placing his hand back on top of Blaine’s. The touch of flesh against flesh made Blaine fell whole. Turning his hand over, he tickled Kurt’s palm causing the lovely man to glance away from his reading. Sparkling blue met hazel sending Blaine back to a fateful day in a barn.

The warmth spreading through his chest brought an impish smile to Blaine’s cheek. Shifting his head, the brightness passing through the small window cast shadows over a handsome face making it mysterious and filled with hidden depths. Love lived in those pools of blue, the softness of his cheek and the breath drawn into his body.

Lost in the sight, Blaine whispered in low and soft tone, “I never want us to be my parents.”

Eyes flickering, Kurt pulled back a little bit as if shocked. Then compassion filled his eyes and he leaned closer to quietly ask, “Where did that come from?”

“Let’s just say, over the past few days the lightbulb has come on.” Blaine’s smile overflowed with a mixture of emotions.

“Oh, my love, you will always have a special place in my heart.” Kurt cautiously touched his husband’s hand.

“We can’t always guarantee that.”

“No, we can’t. There will be times when we are at odds but remember you will always be mine, Blaine Anderson-Hummel.”

“And you will always be mine, Kurt Anderson-Hummel.” Blaine’s head drooped, and he sighed.

“It’s been a hard few days.” Kurt stroked the palm of the hand over his. “Now why don’t you close you eyes and get some rest. You didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Okay.” Blaine replied in that meek, gravelly voice he sometimes got when his emotions ran high.

Expelling a sharp breath, Blaine squeezed his fingers into Kurt’s hand and rolled his head against the bump on the back of the chair. The flight had one stop in Charlotte, North Corallina before jetting on to New York and he wanted to make the best of it. Even though they did not have to be back to it until Sunday, Blaine needed the time and asked Cooper to change their flights. He loved his grandmother and if the funeral had not been bad enough, family politics sucked. For whatever reason, his father had chosen this time to be a complete ass. I started before the burial and got worse as night folded into a new day. Pam wanted her boys around for the reading of the will and now Blaine understood why. Sometimes he wished his father would just pack up and leave them alone.

The mind buzzed at a million miles an hour giving him another view of the family awkwardness. The lawyer had barely finished before Daniel began to complain. The sound of his whining grated on Blaine who already felt tense. The calm morning experience vanished the moment his father made a derogatory remarked about the lovers during a conversation with Janice over coffee.

“Well that’s about that. The will still needs to go through probate and the final payout might change because of taxes. As for the other items specified in Briquette’s will, they will be shipped when the probate period is over.” The stodgy mid-fifties gentleman closed his brief case after putting a file in and the rose. Showing no emotion, he removed himself from behind the table.

Blaine’s eyes shifted toward his father sitting with his arms folded across his chest. Shallow breaths announced his annoyance and for a second Blaine felt a hint of sympathy. It however faded when his father looked at him through the corner of his eyes sending a chill up his son’s back.

Pushing the metal hook through the leather strap to secure his briefcase, the lawyer looked to Pam. “You’re going back to Ohio in two days, so I’ll be around tomorrow afternoon with some papers for you to sign.”

“Thank you, Claude,” Pam said with a charming smile.

A son glanced at his mother noting the way her temple throbbed. Seeing his mother unhappy tore into him leaving a scar he did not know would ever heal. In many ways he blamed himself, but then Cooper told him the split started long before the gay issues arose. With the experience of two breakups in his chest of memories, Blaine now recognized what he failed to notice. These little things did not bode well but it allowed him to shift some of his thinking. In his quiet way he studied his family since they all arrived changing old judgments and making new ones.

Even his image of Kurt changed. The silent strength Kurt held deep inside himself firmly held the man in place, but Blaine knew his husband well enough to see him stretching. Now and then he caught that glimpse where he thought Kurt may lose it and then Kurt would look at Blaine and the strength would return. At night they held each another with a tenderness Blaine started to wonder what happened in his beautiful mind. Last night his heart struck his chest when Blaine started him down another path he had never considered—Kurt mourned Finn.

The thought threatened to shatter Blaine’s fragile emotions, but the callousness of his father forced him to keep it all in check. Breaking down now would do neither of them any good and would only feed his father. Rubbing his fingers over the hand he held, raw emotions tightened about his heart drawing in Kurt’s strength. For a moment he wanting to drag Kurt from the room and run, but his set chin revealed that inner strength.

The hand in his moved and Blaine found himself looking the Kurt. Blue eyes bore down on him as if he knew. Weakly smiling, Blaine turned his attention back to the lawyer. Even though the man kept a still face, Blaine noted the twitching under the man’s right eye.

“It was a pleasure.” The lawyer takes a couple of steps and then glanced at Pam. “Mrs. Anderson your instructions will be followed to the letter. Again, you have my condolences for you lose.”

“Thank you,” Karen stated, her eyes sad and her face flush with embarrassment. Rising from her chair, she sighed and looked to her sister giving her a concerned look.

Standing, Fred looked to his kids and said, “I’m going to take a nap before dinner. It’s been an emotional day.”

Drawing in a breath, Ken said, “I’m heading for the bar, you want to come Coop?”

Blaine’s older brother slowly drew himself form his chair and then bent down kissing his mom on the check before whisperings something to her. Heading for the door, others in the room flowed with them. Pam remained seated and her husband leaning against the wall across from here with her arms crossed. Kristen and Trish herded Janice from the room leaving Karen, Blaine and Kurt. Two sisters exchanged expressions and then Karen walked from the room. Rising to his feet, Kurt tapped Blaine on the shoulder and led him toward the door.

Glancing back over his shoulder, Blaine’ heart rested heavily beneath his ribs. With grief in his eyes he gazed at his mother knowing a storm brewed. For years he lived those under the threat of his father’s moods. The hollow he appearance in his father’s eyes gave warning to the simmering thoughts. At the tender age of fifteen he did not understand but now he the sight of the glower made his blood boil. The question now rotated around how he would deal with the objectives to his wife’s plan.

The hooded eyes of his father narrowed when they fell on his son and then Daniel turned to his wife giving her a hard look. “Do you know what I could have done with that money?”

“Wasted it,” Pam stood her ground with an unmoving face her eyes went to the door where her youngest son stood just outside the threshold.

Slowing, Blaine quarter turned back toward the room and his eyes settled on his mother. In front of him, Kurt stopped suddenly as if he sensed something had gone amiss and a hand fell on his husband’s arm. Blaine returned the look by biting his lip. The youngest Anderson did not trust his father.

“No, you’re wasting it on . . .” Daniel’s mouth clapped shut as dark eyes went to Blaine again and he started to pace. “We’ve could have turned it into more.”

Steely faced, Pam’s voice had a bit to it. “Just like your last scheme.”

“Give your head a shake for god’s sake, woman and stop being foolish.” Daniel’s voice dropped to a dangerously gravelly tone.

A sharp breath filled Blaine’s chest as hazel eyes locked on Kurt’s pained profile. Their eyes found each another with Blaine’s revealing uncertainty and Kurt appeared very uncomfortable.

Pulling herself up straight and her shoulder’s squared. “Your tone will get us nowhere, Daniel.”

Daniel pointed at his wife. “For god’s sake, you’re throwing away three quarters of a million dollars. Three quarters of a million!”

“It’s my choice Daniel.” Pam stood and walked started to walk toward the door.

Reaching out, Daniel grabbed his wife preventing her from leaving. “Have you lost your mind. You can’t do this. It’s a stupid waste.”

Without as must as a flinch, Pam replied in a firm but controlled tone, “Yes I am.”

“Do you know what you are doing? That money could . . .” Daniel fell silent for a moment and then his face turned angry. “You’re shutting me out of . . .”

“Of what, Daniel.” Pam showed emotion for the first time and then she pulled her arm from his firm hand.

The heart jumped up into Blaine’s throat and he squeezed Kurt’s hand tighter. Looking to his lover, he said with worry in his tone, “Go find Cooper at the bar and get him back here.”

Surprised, Kurt quickly nodded and released Blaine’s had and ran off.

“Bloody hell, Pam, you’re going to call that lawyer and tell him you changed your mind.” Daniel let her go and started to pace.

“I am doing no such thing,” Pam turned around spotting Blaine in the hall and her eyes went wide. “It’s my money and I will do with it what I want.”

Rage filling Daniel’s eyes he stomped closer with his fist rising and Pam pulled protectively back. Suddenly he turned for the door. In a deep, angry tone he said to demanded of Blaine, “Shut the door and leave us, boy.”

The darkness in his father’s eyes sent a shiver down his son’s back. Head pulling back, Blaine’s blood pressure rose, and his skin flushed. Flexing his right hand, for a second, he wished Kurt stood next him. In this situation the lose of his anchor sent a rush of emotions through his body. The fear of his father kept him in cheek for years but now it all flowed over. Drawing in a deep breath he stepped into the room he held his hand out. “Come with me mother, let’s get something to eat.”

“Get out of here!” Daniel growled at his son.

“Mom let’s go and find aunt Karen.” Blaine spoke in calm tones though hard sentiment made his chest hurt.

“Obey me!” Daniel yelled at his son taking a step toward the door.

“Mom, please, let’s go,” Blaine’s hand remained stretched toward here. In the corner of his eye, he saw someone in the intersection of two corridors stop and look before him.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Daniel yelled at his wife before turning his attention back to Blaine. “Shut that damned door you half-pint, fucking little faggot.”

“Daniel!” Pam looked utterly shocked

“No,” Blaine snapped at the same time making a gesture to his mother.

Snorting, Daniel’s face distorted and he stepped toward Blaine with an angry look on his face. Pointing at his son, he yelled, “Get the fuck out of here you ass licking queer.”

“Now that’s too . . .” Cooper defended his brother as he pushed between Blaine and the door frame.

“Daniel, that is uncalled . . .” Karen said from the hall with Kurt and Ken at her side.

Ignoring the objections, Daniel whirled about to face his wife drowning out Karen, “You’re giving that ass picking pile of shit three hundred and fifty thousand dollar for what . . . to keep his deceased sodomite . . .”

“Hey!” Blaine’s voice rose in volume. Wanting to take that step, he relented because of the strength by which Kurt’s left-hand folding into his right. The moment skin touched skin, a wave of relieve washed up his back dispersing his anger.

Taking a step toward the door, Daniel came to a halt when Cooper moved to intercept him. His jaw twisted to one side as he stared at his older son.

“Daniel, enough!” Pam glowered at her husband. “This is over.”

“Are you going out of your mind, Pam!” Daniel swiveled on his heel to face his wife. “He’s just going to waste it on that ass packer who defames the purity marriage.”

Tugging free of Kurt’s firm grip, the youngest Anderson boy stood and stepped round Cooper. Suddenly Karen stood in front of him separating father and son. Blaine yelled around his aunt, “Marriage? You call beating up my mother marriage?”

“Blaine!” Pam called out as she moved around her eldest son who faced off with her husband. Everyone else just stood there.

Rushing over to her sister, Karen too her hand pulling her back. On instinct, Pam wrapped her arms around her and the tears began to flow.

“How dare you, you Aids ridden pile of shit?” Daniel bellowed at Blaine.

Face turning dark, Cooper yelled at his father, “Dad!”

“I dare a lot, you bigoted asshole!” Blaine bellowed at the same moment his brother objected. Staring at his father, a sudden intake of air behind him caused him to glance over his shoulder. The sight of those fearful blue eyes sucked on his anger. With his heart ticking in his chest like a speeding clock he stepped back toward the only source of calm he knew.

“I should have thrashed that fucking little faggot to with an inch of your life when . . .” Daniel yelled and then a voice overrode his.

Any semblance of calm evaporated and Blaine stomped forward roaring, “Shut the fuck up!”

Daniel laughed. “The dumb little fag yaps like the silly purse mutt he’s screwing.”

“Dad, that’s enough!” Cooper looked to his father from Blaine and back making sure he remained between them.

Karen calmly asked while holding her sister. “Daniel, please, enough.”

Giving his sister-in-law the finger, Daniel rolled his eyes at his eldest son, “Jesus, Coop, what have you been doing in LA, becoming a fucking queer like that . . .”

“Daniel!” Pam’s voice rose in volume.

Shaking his head, Daniel gave Pam a filthy glare raising his arm as if he might strike. Karen pulled her sister back.

“Leave her alone,” Blaine shouted at his father taking a step closer, but his brother got in his way. “We’ve been putting up with your crap for years now and . . .”

Glaring at his son, Daniel smiled, “And what, you little shit!”

“That’s enough of that!” Fred maneuvered entered the room and stopped facing his brother-in-law. “Daniel, come with me and . . .”

“Oh, fuck off, I knew you would stand up for you sister.” Daniel snarled at his brother-in-law.

Remaining calm, Fred said, “Let’s go get a drink, Daniel.”

“Dad calm down and go with Uncle Fred,” Blaine struggled to keep his anger in check. Over the years, the he never saw his uncle lose he temper even when a metal bucket full of sand landed hard on his bare foot.

Ignoring Fred, Daniel snapped, “You know what you are you pansy fucking joke? You’re nothing but . . .”

“Daniel!” Pam screamed catching everyone’s attention. Taking two involuntary steps, she stopped when her sister’s hand fell firmly on her arm. Shocked, Pam glanced at Karen who looked more than worried.

Stepping forward with rage blazing in his eyes he paid no attention to his favoured son who moved to intercept him. Holding his hand up he yelled at Blaine, “You see this ring, faggot! This is marriage. This what should be. Love and obey. A man and a woman. This ring is scared you fucking queer and you laugh at me. Me! You bring embarrassment to the family with that . . . that . . . I don’t know what that pinko slut is.”

“That’s enough dad!” Cooper roared at his father as he reached out in an attempt to steer him away.

“Are you a fag hag or a man!” Daniel growled at Cooper and then he suddenly shoved his oldest son away.

Stumbling backward his Cooper toppled into Fred knocking both to the floor. Everyone started to move though Karen stuck with her sister restraining her. Stalky Ken brushed by Blaine to confront Daniel and who looked back at his husband with rage in his eyes. Kurt stood there with his hand on his cheek with his mouth open and the look sent Blaine’s heart stumbling.

“Get out of my way!” Daniel bellowed at Ken pushing him aside.

A hefty cousin tripped into Blaine who had to step back to prevent from falling, Holding Ken in place Blaine calmly pleaded, “Dad, please stop this.”

Having lost it, Daniel drooled with a crazed look in his eyes. From out of nowhere, he took a swing at his son. Ducking low while swinging Ken out of the way, Blaine started when he heard his mother scream and Kurt call out. Spinning about, his father’s fist smashed into the side of his head followed by a high-pitched gasp from somewhere behind him. Months of boxing took over and in an instant Blaine sent a fast jab into his father’s jaw sending his father wheeling back.

“Fucking faggot, I’m going to have you arrested!” Daniel yelled spitting out blood.

Straining against, Ken’s hard grip, Blaine growled at his father, “Fuck right off and just leave me . . . us alone. I’m done with you.”

“Fine with me dog fucker. You were ne . . .” The plane jerked, and Blaine woke with a start. The blue of two uniforms stepping into the room faded into the blue sky reached over the horizon easing the tension in his chest. Eyes flickering open Kurt leaned close with a concerned look on his shaded face.


	34. The Meaning of LIfe

It looked no different from high up in the sky. The tops of building stuck up out of the trees and the fields appeared ready for planting. With his head pressed against the window he stared down at the ground as the plane made a wide, lazy arc. Trying to pick out landmarks he felt apprehensive and enthusiastic at the same time. Following their return from Florida emotions did not cool as much as either other them hoped. Hidden away in their tiny apartment for the weekend two men talked through the issues and comforted themselves on the couch in one another arms. With the memory of Finn’s burial adding to the mix, they needed time school to get their act together.

Unable to forget his father’s rotten behavior, Blaine tried to keep his mind in check. It proved difficult. The words his father used, the way he disrespected Kurt and their marriage bothered him the most. For the first few nights he did not sleep well, and it kept his mind preoccupied in class. Troubled dreams, and varied thoughts made for long days. Regardless of his emotional swings, Blaine surprised himself with a top mark in Friday’s exams. Singing in the weekly recital brought tears to his eyes and an ovation from his fellow students even though his professor looked less than impressed. 

Looking down at his watch, Blaine’s lips pushed back and forth. They should have been on the ground twenty minutes ago, but they just circled waiting. Frustrated and more than a little worried, he chewed on his lip watching the sun dropped over the horizon. Silently sighing, Blaine turned toward the seat beside him. Hazel eyes raked up the naked arm of the man sitting in the aisle seat browsing the in-flight magazine. A few light hairs poking up from his skin twinkled in the rays of sun splashing past Blaine into the cabin. The muscles in Kurt’s arm flicked as the hand at the end of the wrist moved with the weight of the magazine. Scanning up the arm to the neck, Blaine paused when his eyes hovered in the space between the ear and the lashes. The sight of those blue eyes moving as he read the pages left a frustrated young man with a sense of calm. 

Playing with the ends of the scarf hanging loosely about his neck, Blaine found it possible to smile. In a hushed voice he said more to himself than Kurt, “Have you ever wondered why we live and die?” 

Kurt’s mouth shifted to one side and the magazine drooped against the seat in front of him. An eyebrow shot up as he gave his husband a curious glance. “Where did that come from, Mr. Blaineland?”

Chuckling, Blaine glanced across the aisle and out the window the clouds with a dreamy look on his face.

Pressing his foot against the ankle next to him, Kurt gave his partner a look, “What?”

Confronted by an abstract thought so out in right field, he did not know how to respond. Brows pulling together, wonderful half smirk pushed up Blaine’s cheek. In a low tone he said almost at a whisper, “Don’t you ever ponder the bigger things . . . you know . . . this world and all it has.”

Eyebrows twisting Kurt pulls back giving his partner a whimsical gaze. “If you’ve found god, we’re going to have one of those talks.”

A deep and affectionate smile stretched Blaine’s and gloved fingers traced line down Kurt’s forearm. “I already have an angel in my life. Need I want more?”

Moving his arm so the hand fell flat on his skin, Kurt drawled, “Ahh, your so full of it, but I appreciate it just the same.”

“A beautifully handsome love angel.” Blaine bounced his shoulder off Kurt’s. “At least I want to think that way. How do we keep it fresh?”

“What does this have to do with you finding the Holy Spirit all of a sudden?”

“We live. We die. We toil. We laugh. We love.”

Kurt’s eyes rolled and then he shook his head.

“I’m being serious.” Sharpness laced the three words stirring guilt within Blaine’s chest. Softening his tone, he went on. “Many words came to mind, but it always comes to the longing in my pulse every time I get a glimpse of you. Love is the cement of our souls. Two hearts, two people and two lives flowing together. Love, could it really describe what I feel for the charming man I chose to share my life with. Love, the desire to stay in those arms all day and to feel the gentle breathing in my ear. Love, the sight of your eyes when a sparse light hits them in the dark. Love, the essence of your soul distilled down into a single word.”

Eyes shining bright, a sweet grin rolled up Kurt’s lips as pink rose in his cheeks. Leaning closer, he whispered, “Oh, my dear, that was beautiful.”

“It’s how I feel about you every time I look at you. To me, we always felt old and seasoned.”

“As if our souls new each other.”

“As if our souls have always loved each other.”

“Old souls? Wasn’t there a time when we were young, stupid and filled with angst.”

“Perhaps, but it’s that angst that made us what we are now. As you said, we were young, and we needed to learn. I think we did that.”

“The past little patch hasn’t been fun.”

“I don’t know . . .” Blaine’s head sank down to the right. “. . . where did these feeling come from.”

“I know where it came from Blaine because I asked similar questions when Finn died.” Kurt sighed and looked past his husband and out the window. “You lost someone important to you and even though we’re young questions linger on the edges. We may not think of them that often, but they consume us as we age. We are born, we live . . .”

“And pay taxes,” Blaine playfully injected.

“Yeah right,” Kurt rolled his eyes with a smile. “We . . . die. It’s the cycle of things but then I have to ask your question . . . why? Eighty, ninety, or even one hundred years seems too short. If this is all there is, then what’s the purpose of it all? Damned if I know.”

“A morbid subject.” Blaine glanced down at the floor. “Forget it, I’m just being weird.”

“When Finn’s died, I searched for something to keep the clue from flying all apart. I don’t know, perhaps there’s something more to all this. We strive and achieve and in the end for what? We may leave something behind but then it too will be forgotten in time. When it all ends, it ends. There is nothing more but, then, what if there is life eternal?”

One of Blaine’s eyebrows went up. “And you accuse me of getting religious?”

“Eat your words.” Kurt stopped and turned to Blaine with a wispy grin. “Yeah, I guess it falls into the realm of religion, but I think it’s more. Have you ever considered that perhaps the universe is alive?”

Brows going up, Blaine gave Kurt a funny look as if saying ‘are you kidding’. At the same moment he felt an odd sensation on the side of his face. At first, it prickled and then it felt wet. Glancing out the window a cloud blotted out the setting sun. Light and fluffy for a second it appeared to take on the profile of someone’s head. The eeriness he felt suddenly translated into rain splattered a window. The uneven and bubbly pane fit into a wooden frame set in squares inside the larger window itself. The storm let up over night and the clouds lifting allowing a view from the dockside inn. The masts and rigging towered over the buildings and the smell of the harbour assaulted the nose. Salt and the smell of human castoff floated on the air, but no one cared. A man stood on the edge of the water watching crates being loaded. Wrapped in a cloak with one arm held in a sling, thick curly hair fluttered in the wind.

Eyes going wide, Kurt pulled Blaine’s hand to him with him. His head leaned to one side with one eye brow raised. “I know that look?”

The plane jolted, and Blaine instinctively felt Kurt tense up. Opening and closing his eyes, he shook his head driving the image away. Puzzled, Blaine gazed at the occupied seat beside him and said in a deep and gravelly tone. “I’m just being strange.”

“Your stressed.”

“I just have to know that . . .”

“Please, turn it off Blaine.”

“Once we finally land.” Blaine glanced out the window again with the Earth beneath them on an angle as the turn sharpened.

Kurt’s body stiffened.

“I want to thank you for all the support,” Blaine whispered knowing Kurt felt uncomfortable. “I never realized it could be so hard but now I understand what you went through. You’ve been doing those little special things that make him feel loved.”

“You held onto me after Finn’s death, it’s the least I could do.” He worried look drained from Kurt’s face as he squeezed the hand he held when the plane dipped again. 

“I guess it brought it home I . . . we will not last forever.” Blaine sighed. “I know it will happen in its due time, but in this regard, I demand selfishness.” 

“You know I don’t take with all that religious stuff, but I beginning to think there’s something greater than us.” Kurt grinned at the man he loved. “At times I think there is no way else to explain what I feel at times.”

The curly headed man pushed his lips out. “Why do you think we never talked like this before?” 

“Ashamed because it’s sounds so bizarre,” Kurt paused as the wing of the plane suddenly dropped and the steward announced their intent land. “Do you remember when Karofsky tried to kill himself. I went to the bible class at school and talked to them, but it did not feel right. I spent days thinking about the greater end.”

“Oh?”

“I still do not believe in religion but have found I believe in something.”

“That the universe is alive?”

“Perhaps, but in what we have and what it can bring to the world. In the love of friends and pets and everyone you see on the street. It opened my heart and made me think of the meaning of life. It helped me when Finn died because I felt he had gone to some better place where religion had no walls. The universe took him back to its bosom.”

“I still don’t really get it Kurt.”

A light flashed over head accompanied by beeping and another announcement. Blanching, Kurt tightened his grip on Blaine’s wrist. Turning his hand over so their fingers meshed together, Blaine whispered, “Take a deep breath and try not to think about it.”

“I hate landing.” Kurt sounded nervous. “That bump and then, what, we skid off the runway into a flock of geese.”

“It’ll be alright, love. Just hold my hand and know I have you.”

Rubbing his thumb over soft skin, Blaine knew what to expect. First the body would tense, and Kurt’s fingers would squeeze tight. The head would dip, and those heavenly blue eyes would remain closed until the engines stopped their reverse thrust. Then blue would seek the reassurance hazel followed by a sudden rush of air. 

They had to get to that point first but, for now, the panic settled in. Holding hands meant much to his anxious husband but then the plane abruptly turned into a dip bringing a gasp. The nose dipped for a few seconds and then the front end of the plane rose. A few minutes later his husband hand clinched tight and he drew in a deep breath the second the wheels hit the ground. Two small bounce followed by the engines reversing and a handsome face scrunched up. Finally, the plane settled down into a steady roll and a wave of relief rushed through Kurt’s body. A harsh rush of air announced release accompanied by a small, pitiful grin. 

Feeling the pulse in Kurt’s hand, Blaine waited. The veins throbbing in his wrist mirrored the pounding beneath his ribs. Staring at an ear he waited and then Kurt stirred bringing there eyes together. A dark hallow surrounded the inner brightness of Kurt’s eyes revealed mixed emotions. Slowly the grip on Blaine’s hand eased allowing the blood to rush forward. 

Leaning close, Blaine asked in a quiet and caring voice, “We’re there.”

Colour returning to his face, Kurt whispered, “I’m okay, and thanks you.”

Giving his love a charming little smirk, Blaine said, “I remember a young man sitting across a table from speaking of his first trip on a plane. You were so excited, but you never told me you were so scared. I’m proud of you.”

“Its getting easier with you by my side.”

“Always, my love. Always.”

Kurt bounced out into the area where the luggage carrousels stuck out from the wall with his overnight back swinging from his shoulder. His bag banging against the back of his leg, Blaine hustled to keep up with his excited husband. After the door opened and they made their way forward from the back of the plane, Blaine loved the way Kurt’s butt wiggled. Enticing and inconvenient, Blaine would have liked to have cupped those cheeks right then and there. Grinning from ear to ear as he followed, Blaine enjoyed watching his husband getting more and more excited. 

Burt and Carole said they would pick them up, but Blaine hoped his mother would be there as well. After all the reason for there impromptu trip rested on a repeating nightmare Blaine suffered since the funeral. A worried Kurt broke all their rules by booking the trip and then surprising his husband. The argument which followed lasted a short ten minutes before Blaine broke down in tears. It stretched the credit cards, but something deep side told him they had to do this. 

The buoyant man slowed when he did not see his father in the crowd of people gathered to greet loved ones and business associates. Noting the look, Blaine came up behind him and discretely placed a hand on the back of his arm. Kurt glanced back with a disappointed look and then his face changed when he noted Blaine’s eyes enlarge. Spinning around Kurt barely had time to prepare himself as his father wrapped him into a bearhug. Picking his son up, Burt twirled his son around with a deeply emotional look on his face prior accepting a kiss on he cheek.

“There’s my boy,” Burt beamed when he put his son down. “You’ve put on weight.”

“Look whose talking. You’re eating fatty food again,” Kurt chided as he gave his father a fond smile.

“I told you he’d know,” Carole casually commented stated from as she stepped up behind her husband with a look only a wife could make. 

Oddly Kurt knew that look and glanced to Blaine who stood there watching the reunion. His face pushed up in disgust when his father playfully ruffled his son’s perfect hair.

“He’s going to get you back,” Carole grinned at her husband and stepped around him.

Smiling, Burt softly retorted, “I have no hair.”

“Blaine, I hope this son of mine has not been running you ragged,” Carole teased, and she sauntered over to envelope Blaine in a firm and loving hug. 

“He’s a dream,” Blaine cooed as he returned he gesture with gusto. Placing his head on her shoulder, Blaine found he honestly missed her. She exuded a sense of togetherness Blaine theorized all women who bore children had. Well, Blaine thought as much. 

Winking, Carole commented, “Hummel men have that je ne peux pas vivre sans toi about them.”

Blushing, Blaine lifted his head, so he could see Carole only to have his eyes shot open. Letting Carole go his chin dropped along with his heart. In a stunned tone he squeaked a single word, which quite did not make it.

“Hello Blaine.” Smiling at her nephew, Karen stepped around Carole who turned to pulled Kurt away from his father. 

Seeing his aunt sent the strangest sensation racing through Blaine’s body. Eyes darting about, he fell into her arms with his heart pounding in his chest. Burying his head into his shoulder, he struggled to push the vision of a repeating dream from his mind. Blood ran down his mother’s face and pooled under her head. She lay on the side on the kitchen floor not moving. Dreadful sentiment erupted in the young man’s chest and the wobbly vision shifted when the woman drew in a shallow breath. 

“You alright, darling?” Karen asked in a hushed tenor as she reached out and pulled her nephew into a hug.

His aunt’s voice sent a shiver up Blaine’s back. Fighting to keep his feelings in check, he felt himself stumbling, Karen? Here? Why? The look on his face changed as he drew on the strength of Kurt’s gaze. Lowering his head onto his aunt’s shoulder, he mumbled, “Where’s mom?”

Stepping back Karen did not let go of he nephew’s arms. Her dark eyes locked on shimmering hazel and a deep breath filled her lungs. From behind, Carole interrupted and said, “Pam’s at our place sleeping.”

Looking confused, Blaine barely got out the word at the tip of his tongue. “Why?”

Karen stoked her nephew’s arm. “I flew in three days ago after Pam called me crying?”

“Why didn’t . . .” Blaine blurt out his eyes seeking Kurt how had moved up beside him to slipping the fingers of his left hand amongst those of a willing right. “What did dad do?”

“Blaine, we can talk about it on the way back to Lima.” Burt’s hand fell on Blaine’s shoulder. “Your mother’s a little tired but otherwise fine.”

Eyes shifting from Burt to Karen and back, Blaine worried his lips. “What’s going . . .?”

Suddenly Kurt leaned close and broke all his rules by kissing his husband on the cheek. Blaine virtually melted on the spot.

A little over an hour later, Blaine walked up the front stoop feeling more than a little frustrated. The long drive availed him not more information. Holding Kurt’s hand followed by his aunt and his stepmother-in-law and proceeded by Burt he worried. Speeding up when his father-in-law pushed his key into the lock, the slowed when Kurt pull on his hand. Anxious eyes caught blue and then his husband reassuringly blew him a kiss.

Pushing the door open, Burt stepped in taking off his jacket. He barely got a few feet in when he stopped. Following Burt’s line of sight Blaine’s heart rose into his throat. His mother lay on the couch in rumbled clothing with one arm sticking out over the rug. With three pillows chair pillows packed under her head, she lay in an awkward position. On the table before the couch rested a glass with a thin layer of a brown liquid at the bottom. The sight sent a wave of fear spiking up his chest but then he remembered dreams rarely come true. Well, Kurt became the exception.

“Oh dear,” Karen muttered from behind as she stepped toward threshold of the living room. She stopped when she noticed Blaine turning toward her.

Glancing over his shoulder, Blaine gave his aunt a bewildered look and then sighed. Stepping around Burt, the youngest Anderson boy reached the entry to the living room noting the absence of what haunted his sleep—blood. The young man stood there while his eyes scanned up the length of the room with his heart pounding in his chest. A bottle with screw top beside it sat on the dining table across from an open cabinet. A loud sigh rushed over his lips and then a familiar touch sent tingling along his skin. Right slipping effortlessly into left, a puddle of warmth melted the icy emotions of his heart. Thank god, Kurt came because Blaine did not know if he could handle this by himself. Visiting him mom in the hospital shook him creating fear it took weeks to overcome.

Turning away from Kurt while still holding his hand, Blaine gazed at his sister and the Hummel’s with a curious uncertain look. 

Approaching her nephew from behind, Karen placed a hand on his shoulder and gently rubbed it. When she spoke, her words had a carrying softness to them. “We left her upstairs.”

“Why didn’t someone stay with her?” Blaine stared at his mother. 

“I guess that’s my fault,” Karen admitted, her eyes filled with regret.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Karen, we all thought a single tranquilizer would work.” Carole looked to her husband. “Burt, would you give me a hand taking Pam upstairs.”

Hazel eyes stayed fixed on his mother as his in-laws gently helped her from the couch. Stumbling along between Carole and Burt, Pam looked up at her son with fond, barely open eyes. His heart froze in his chest when their orbs caught. Specks of red flashed in the back of his mind, but a thumb rolled over his skin relaying sentiment words could not express. In fact, no one spoke or moved until Pam made to the top of the stairs. Suddenly, Blaine walked over and picked up the remains of his mother’s drink and downed it. Flopped down on the couch with his head smashing against the back.

Hazel caught blue and then Kurt trotted over to his lover’s side on the couch. Taking his hand, Kurt glanced at Karen who stood in the threshold of the living room with a weary look on her face. 

“Did dad . . .?” Blaine started to ask his aunt before falling silent. Staring into the empty glass he held, he remembered he disliked hated the taste of bourdon.

Strolling over, Karen sat sideways on her nephew’s left, so she could see the two young men. Looking down she said, “Blaine, your mother and I have been talking everyday since the funeral. Your father has been hard on her, but it got really bad a few days ago. That’s when I flew in.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Blaine glanced at his aunt. “Does Cooper know?”

“Your mother did not want any of us to tell either of you.” Karen sort of frowned. “I couldn’t go against her wishes.”

“That . . .” Blaine drew in a deep breath easing his anger. 

Kurt soothed his husband by stroking the back of his hand. “It’s alright Blaine, just let your aunt tell us.” 

Hazel eyes flashed with anger at first and then he nodded. Shyly turned to his mother’s sister, he apologized, “Sorry, aunt Karen.”

“You have a right to know but I didn’t want to make it worse for your mom.” Karen’s eyes rolled to the right and then down.

“It was all about me, wasn’t it?”

“I’m not going to lie to you . . . yes.”

“Figures,” Kurt murmured.

“Daniel has been incensed since the reading off the will.” Karen looked from to Kurt and back to Blaine. “They’ve been arguing ever since.”

“Did he hit her?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

Visibly relieved, Blaine sat back into the couch allowing Kurt to take the tumbler from his hand. Leaning into his husband he accepted the comforting arm which fell on his shoulder. 

Watching the lovers, Karen smiled and then said, “Blaine, your father is contesting the disbursement of your grandmother’s will. More to the point, he’s disputing the portion Pam wants you to have.”

“What?” Two young men blurted out at more or less the same time.

“He served your mother yesterday igniting a huge fight. Daniel made threats and that’s when I brought her over her.” Karen released a sharp breath through her nose. 

Shaking his head, Blaine’s heart pulled inside his chest knowing his anchor held him fast. Sadly, he moaned, “Does he hate me that much?”

“Blaine?” Karen placed a hand on her nephew’s wrist to get his attention. “I can’t deny you father shows indifference toward yourself and Kurt.”

“Indifference?” Kurt voice rose an octave in two words. “Try blatant hatred!”

Giving both men a sympathetic look, Karen said, “I don’t pretend to know what it is going on in Daniel’s mind, but I’m trying to be polite.”

“Polite?” Kurt’s face reddened. “Are you kidding.”

“Kurt, believe me I understand.” Karen drew in a deep breath. 

“He’s done nothing but make Blaine’s life hell since . . .” Kurt clamped his mouth shut and let his anger ebb away.

“Kurt, I don’t condone Daniel’s actions. I happen to think the two of you are adorable and suited for each other.” Karen’s smile slowly turned into a frown. “He’s always seemed to be a nice man and loved my sister. I noticed a change when I visited shortly after you were born, Blaine. It was then he became obsessed with his work and Cooper. I think it had do with the fact he and Pam debated having another child.”

Surprised, Blaine’s head pulled back.


	35. Miracles

Standing just inside the door, Blaine stared at his mother with heavy eyes. Drawing in a shaky breath, how could he explain in words the feeling he had at this moment? Swallowing his trepidations, he had no idea what to expect. His aunt’s presence spoke of the severity of the situation though the adults pussy footed around it. For a while he resented the rigors emotions demanded and would have preferred to have screamed rather than try to stay objective.

Covered by a colourful green, blue and white handmade knit blanket, Pam rested on her side. Her chest rose and fell with swallow breathing and her foot twitched now and then. Long stands of dark hair sprayed out over his face and over her shoulders. Feeling uncertain, her son wondered why he stood here in the first place. Kurt said he should wait until morning, but Blaine wound himself up. Kurt’s sentiments and kindness shown again when he told Blaine to do what he needed to do. Concern and frustration clashed within blue eyes telling Blaine the man he loved understood regardless of his opinions. 

Regardless of how she looked, a son could not find fault in the woman who bore him. Hugging a thick pillow, she looked at peace. Hazel eyes scanned up her body leaving a tightness in his chest. Upset by the sight, hazel eyes darted about Cooper’s old room. The two families became fast friends in support of their children who faced disrespect from many quarters. Once again, an Anderson took refuge under their roof and a son had to wonder for how long. 

Thoughts of sanctuary reminded him of all the times he found himself under this roof. This evening felt no different. An hour and a half ago, the light of the back porch sent streamers into the backyard. Standing along under a tree wit his arms wrapped around him for warmth dealing with a mixture of self-incrimination and anger. Without a doubt his father took his loathing for his son to new heights and Blaine found this both Infuriating and insulting. The young man had no illusion homophobia came into play, but why did it all seem to blow up at his grandmother’s funeral? Could it be, he feared his grandmother?

His mind went in circles as it had all evening. A little while ago, he felt the breeze brushing loose strands of hair. Rolled his head, a young man felt lonely. Glancing up at the tree at the wind rustled the leaves he watched the light play on their surfaces. Slowly letting the fumes escape his lungs, he began to hum. Familiar cords tickled his throat easing the tension knotting his shoulders as his eyes shifted toward the house. Movement in the window caught his attention and he turned. Kurt stood there with the drapes hanging over him leaning his head on the glass. Neither of them expected a full-blown drama when they landed. Yes, nightmares made Blaine antsy, but they anticipated a quiet weekend with people they loved. They told no one, outside of family, not even Sam, knew they would be in town. Blaine looked forward to a weekend of family healing and now then it spiraled into personal confusion.

The sight of his that charming young man staring at him through the glass almost broke Blaine’s heart. Beaconing his love with his hand, Kurt trotted out wearing a sweater. Approaching at fast walk, Kurt wrapped the coat he carried around Blaine’s shoulders. Snuggling together, two young men sat in the shade of tall trees on a swinging couch suspended from a tree on sturdy chains. Resting his head on Kurt’s bicep just below the joint, Blaine welcomed how his husband’s warmth pushed the chill away. For a while he felt he could fall into his husband and then he noticed a flash of light in the second story window. Hands held the drapes back where a woman stood there peering at two young men. 

Wiping the tear for his eye, considered his thoughts over the past hour. Slowly stepping further into the room, he stopped at the edge of the bed. Gazing at his mother for a moment, he gently sat close to her knees. Surprised, Pam woke with a start only to have a gentle hand fall on her side bringing calm. Rubbing her eyes an embarrassing belch spewed the smell of booze about the room. Eyelids flashing open and closed, she turned to find sad hazel eyes gazing at her. Biting her lower lip, she reached out and pulled her son close. The ferocity of his mother’s embrace surprised Blaine as he felt her quivering in his arms. 

“Mom.” The word escaping Blaine’s throat came out haunting a low.

“Oh, my darling,” Pam droned as stale breath washing over her son.

A son held on tight enjoying the sensation of her fingers gently carding through gelled curls. “Mom, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m here.” 

The hand on the back of Blaine’s head fell flat against his neck hand her head moved as if she sought a measure of comfort. In response Blaine squeezed her tight and she burped. Ignoring the odor, he held on as if telling her something words could not express. Drawing on the comfort of her body, he tried to control his meandering sentiment. This woman did so much for him from enduring his father’s wrath and comforting him. As a man Blaine could not possibly understand the bond between mother and child, but in this instant, he felt close. 

Feeling the tension in Pam ease, Blaine drew back. Staring into the hooded eyes of the woman who brought him into the world he smiled, a thin and happy smile split his lips. At this moment the beautiful woman looked older and the sight pinched at Blaine’s tender heart. The mind, young and old, flipped back to living at home. During the worst of his father’s tirades, she flashed compassionately glimpses at her frightened son. At one time he wanted to fix everything between his parents, but his dad only got more belligerent. Fighting with himself to keep it altogether, he looked at his moment as an opportunity to return past kindness.

“Hi, mom,” Old Blaine said in a soft and deep voice knowing his mother heard.

Those simple words most have meant something because Pam wrapped her arms about son again and held on for dear life. The pain in an old man’s heart eased and the remembrance of her touch dredged up inconsolable longing. The last time he held her she sparkling eyes closed forever. A man in his sixties shed a tear and gently kissing her on the cheek. Elderly Blaine wished with all he soul he could do that right now. Part of him reached out for her seeking sympathy for the grief playing games. The man he gave his all to without reservation drew breath no more. He wanted his mother.

A man, both at the beginning of his life and nearing its end, quivered as a profoundly emotional breath countered the unsettled beating of his heart. Going along for the ride, an old man felt him mother’s body quake and then the crying began. In days long gone, she buried her head onto her son’s shoulder an in the present tears splashed against cooling skin. A frail mind felt the emotions as if he lived it once more. Arms encasing his mother, a son slowly rocked her back and forth feeling as if he had gone full circle. In the weeks following his dad discovery of the true nature of his son, his mother soothed him using the similar manner. Now, each motion, both broke his heart and helped him to come to grips with complicated sentiments. 

Waiting for her mom’s sobs to settle Blaine closes his eyes and his head shifted so his ear rested against her shoulder. The thumping in her chest reached through her body where it clashed with his own. Slowly his breathing changed and moved with the pace of his mother’s heart. The soothing thought reminded the young man of the way his heart synchronized with Kurt before they fell asleep. 

Old Blaine’s lips puckered and slid from side to side and kissed the hand beneath his head. The moment the hearts became one felt like heaven and at that moment in his life, Blaine found heaven. Blinking back the tears swelling in his eyes, the agony a failing heart pressed into his body failed. The regular beating in his chest returned and then light fingers brushed his cheek. That night his mother gazed at him but now it felt like warmth on an ethereal wind. For a brief few seconds he felt the presence of his beloved husband and mother gazing at each of over his head. An old man no longer felt alone.

The breath filling tired old lunges renewed dwindling hope. Decades ago, his mother elevated her head while pushing her son back meeting wet eyes met. Old and young, Blaine sighed. Biting his lip, a youthful man reached up and wiped the water from under her eyes. Thick, full lips stretched into a tiny smirk and then she kissed her son on the cheek.

“Hi darling,” Pam sounded meek and silent. 

Smiling, that electric smile, Blaine repeated his greeting, “Hi mom.”

“What are you doing here?” Her eyes flickered and then swallowed.

A concerned look crossed a youthful face. “Didn’t Burt and Carole tell you we were coming?”

Scratching her temple and then flipping her hair back from her eyes, Pam quietly answered, “Oh, yes, he did mention it.” 

“Mom?” Blaine took one of her hands in his and firmly held. 

Glancing down at the two hands covering hers, Pam hiccuped. Shaking her head, she looked confused and then she bowed her head. “I’ve been drinking.”

Her son frowned. “I know.”

“Oh . . .” Pam’s head dipped. “I’ve disappointed you.”

“No . . . yes . . . it doesn’t matter.” Blaine bent down so he could see her eyes. “Has dad done anything to you.”

For a moment anger filled her eyes and then it all swirled away. Shaking her head, a mother told her son, “No . . . he’s not done anything.”

“Mom?”

“Dear, he never laid a hand on me.”

“But, you’re here?”

Her head fell a little further. “He . . . he made it just . . . to hard. He yelled and slammed doors but never hit me.”

Sucking in staggered breath, Blaine inched along the bed making himself comfortable. “Karen said he is trying to stop you from giving me the money.”

Leaning over and catching herself before she slid off the bed she snatched up her purse from the floor. Fumbling on the catch the first couple of times it opened, and she pulled out her set of keys, her phone and then a folded envelope. All three dropped to the duvet. Tapping the piece of paper container, she said, “It’s all there.”

“Why mom? Why would he do this?”

“He’s just being . . . an . . . I don’t know?”

“What mom?” Blaine sounded worried.

Sighing, Pam glanced up at the ceiling. “He has some big scheme to make money. He thinks he could invest in building houses, renting them out and wait for the prices to rise.”

“That a good thing, mom.” Blaine hated to admit it though look in his mother’s eyes said more.

Shaking her head, Pam covered her mouth and a rolling burp rumbled in her throat. Embarrassed, she said, “Oops sorry.”

“It’s alright, mom’” Blaine gave her an apologetic look. 

“He wants to invest in his brother’s company.”

“But, John’s went bankrupt twice and to prison for fraud.”

“My argument, but Daniel believes his older brother is wise in the ways of business. I wanted you and Cooper to have it because I know you would not waste it. It would help both of you get a leg up I never had at your age.”

“Mom, that’s wonderful, but I don’t want you to forgo your happiness because of me.”

“Dear, nothing would make me happier.” A puff of air escaped Pam’s lip carrying with it a stale taste. “Your . . . father has always been a schemer.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But, you did not know he, wanted to mortgage the house again to get into the scheme with his stupid half brother. We’ve been arguing about that to. Then my mother dies, and he sees dollar signs everywhere.”

Shaking his head, Blaine heavily sighed and looked away.

“What is it my nightingale.” Pam list her fingers under his chin and turned his head to face her.

“Nightingale? You haven’t called him that since I was in Dalton.” For the first time since he left his worried husband, Blaine honestly smiled. “You embarrassed me when you called me that with my friends around. I liked it because is had more meaning than my Warbler nickname.”

“Your voice has the beauty of a songbird.” Pam’s face hardened into that look every little boy feared. “Come on, what’s really bothering you, my boy?”

The colour drained from Blaine’s face because he knew he must ask but it felt rude. The pounding in his chest made a rushing sound in his ears. Bowing his head, he felt the words choking up in his throat. “Mom . . . was I a mistake?”

Sitting up Pam looked suddenly very serious and sober. With narrow eyes she asked, “What do you mean.”

Feeling awkwardly trapped, Blaine frowned. “Karen told me you and dad fought about having more children . . . me.”

Pushing her son’s chin up, Pam cupped her son’s cheeks in both hand and stared in those sad, puppy eyes. “Oh, dear, you were never a mistake. Cooper is my big boy, but you will always be my baby child.”

“Mom.” Blaine’s lip quivered having noticed a hint of hesitation in his mother’s eyes. 

“You have to understand I had a miscarriage two years before you were born. They said I could not have another child but you’re my little miracle.” Leaning into the hug, Pam stroked her son’s back while swallowing emotion and the bitter taste in her mouth. “Regardless of what happened between Daniel and myself, you were not and will never be a mistake. Always remember I love you, my little miracle.”

Blaine buried his head into her shoulder and moaned, “Oh, mom.”

Renewed pain sprung form the heart and down tired arms. Drawing in a deep sigh, Old Blaine lost his train of thought to the discomfort. Part of him growled at his inability to keep his thoughts straight, but, on the other hand, he found himself recalling things he had forgotten. Failing mental capacity forced him to give many things including his beloved music. Stubborn and bit cranky he hated to admit he needed help to complete his last piece. The finger did not tap the keys as they used to, and the mind struggled to focus. It did, however allow and aging couple to spend more time with his great grandson Travis. Katherine’s grandchild studied music and dance in England when he did not work in one of the farm factories. The handsome man effortlessly pushed thirty and had already made a name for himself where he lived. When he reached twenty-four he decided he wanted to add to the family history Blaine started and visited often. On one such visit he watched great-grandfather’s frustration as he toiled with a moderately easy passage. Offering to help, he happily endured Blaine’s rants as he learned from a master. With death staring him in the face, an elderly man had to smile—Travis said he would sing at his funeral.

While he recalled Travis’ voice, an old man could not conjure up an image of what he looked like. Angered, glassy hazel eyes drifted toward the wall of memories. Family photos set in rows stared back at him only to fall on his mother. The old styles photo had her standing between her son and Kurt at their surprise wedding in a stunning blue dress. As the night moved along she got tipsy and Puckerman sort of baby sat her. Knowing the former bully had a pension for older women, Blaine tried to keep an eye on her, but it proved a useless endeavor. After midnight, the grooms found Puck passed out in a corner while Pam boogied the night away.

Water glistened in the corner of winkled eyes as he drew in a staggered breath. Pam died just under thirty years ago, and old man still mourned her on that day and her birthday. She supported a young couple even as she worked through a messy divorce. With the birth of the twins she visited often allowing two men to have break to find themselves again. As the years rolled on she struggled with loneliness leaving Blaine with the idea she continued to carry a torch for husband. Following the divorce, she had no desire to seriously date anyone even though Daniel married someone far younger than himself. When Burt passed away she moved in with Carole.

She traveled a bit after the twin age settled into double digits going to Europe and Japan. Doing both regions in the same year, the experience changed her. On her return she had a more down to earth and took on causes. Working in soup kitchens and collecting for the displaced by the rising oceans flooding through Lima headed west, she reveled in the challenges it wrought. 

The chest tightened once more thought scrambled into flashes of insight. Long school days and sleepless nights poked up here and there as he drew in short breaths. Two young men meet for lunch someplace between institutes of higher learning where they held hands and stared into each other’s eyes. A man with curly gray hair smiled as the man he loved strolled into a café off Fifth Avenue where he dropped into a padded seat with a huff. With their teenage kids they walked along the seawall above Battery Park as a massive freighter transferred goods from a floating dock sticking out into a larger bay. A girl squealed as her brother snatched her favourite doll from her and both parent rolled their eyes as they pulled themselves off the couch. Rachel blew a gasket with her four-year-old son when the little one poured his juice over Katherine spoiling her dress. Kurt kissed his husband with the light of a street lamp casting shadows across Central Park. Blaine sang to the man he loved from bright stage and then, two men played behind the curtains between scenes. 

Smiling, he vividly recalled a time they snuck away for private worship sessions when the kids peacefully slept. Later, when they got older, their love life improved, but it never reached the peak of their first few years together. Burt told Kurt once, youth enjoyed dancing around in their underwear accompanied by lots of sex. Well it proved true. Blaine loved those days and lamented when age decreased the frequency but not the intensity. Topping or bottoming, Blaine could never get enough of the man who took his heart on a set of curving stairs. 

Hazel orbs twinkled with the thought but then it fell into a muddle of conflicting emotion. Squinting through the discomfort, an aged body fought back making him wish he had his youth back. At one time he had a body, a really great body. Now it sagged in the most unflattering places and jiggled as he shuffled along with the help of a walker The little pot belly he suffered now replaced the six pack he once owned. During school, he and Kurt, took to the gym redefining themselves. He missed the days of watching Kurt working.

Panting his way through it waves of pain, memories drifted away like leaves on a pond. Hoping the conversation with him mom would come back it faded away into the pool of torments under his ribs. Recollection stirred again, and he saw a young man stood there with his chin hanging low. Dropping his keys as he pushed one into the lock he swore and tried again. Leaning into the heavy fire door open, it swung open hitting the closet door with a loud clatter. Tossing the keys, they bounced out of the bowl meant to hold them. Tingling all over, he bounced on his toes staring at he envelope.

“What’s going on out here?” Kurt stepped into view of the hall leading to the fire escape. Face scrounged together he gave his husband. “Blaine, shut the door, please.”

Startled, Blaine blinked and fell back on his heels blankly staring at what he held in his hands. 

More than a little curious, Kurt rolled his eyes and reaching around Blaine. Squeezing past his numb husband, he closed the door locking it. Turning he leaned his head on Blaine’s shoulder and kissed him on the ear. Peering down his husband’s chest he stammered, “It that what I think it is.”

Caring sentiment pushed at the pain in a tired heart. Words flew away like a strong wind picking up a pile of cut grass leaving a lingering sensation of pleasure. Struggling to keep the moment, old Blaine forced himself into the distress afflicting his body. He wanted this, but the cramping in his chest made him falter. A related threat of a memory hung there and furiously drove into it.

The light overhead flickered telling the story of a dying bulb, but it did not affect the mood. Buoyant smells rose from the piles of noodles, rice, steaming pork, mixed vegetables and beef lounged in bowls in the center of the table. The chatter of people accompanied greedy hands worked chopsticks lifting morsels to plates. The luster of red walls and gold trim faded with age and the marks of years of abuse. From the kitchen voices rose in their native tongue calling the waitresses to the pass. An easy three block walk from home, it became one of the boy’s favourite places. The flavours and generous portions did not stretch the wallet. Three quarters of the tables in the small L-shaped eatery had people around them and no appeared to notice the budding television star by the window.

“. . . seen their faces when I jumped out from behind the shipping crate.” Cooper grinned from ear to ear as he spoke. Artful fingers dragged a large portion of noodles to his plate which he playfully swirled around. The elder Anderson appeared smugly pleased with himself. 

“That must have made you popular?” Blaine questioned as he reached for the soy sauce with on hand and putting his tea down with the other. Cooper had not shut up since he knocked on their door two hours ago.

A mischievous glamour lived in his eyes ever since Cooper met up with the two young men. “Honestly, the set was so stale you could hear the crickets between my co-star’s legs.”

Blaine caged on the egg roll he bit into giving his brother ‘you have got be kidding’ look. 

“Scaring the director is not a wise thing.” Kurt mused with one raised eyebrow. He worked on his vegetables, trying to keep them separated from the meat. 

Clearing his throat with a swig of tea, hazel eyes watched Kurt playing with his food. 

“The crew loved it and it lightened the mood.” Cooper defended himself. “Gods, we needed it. Shoot after shoot and nothing went right. After that it all gelled and we ended the day only an hour behind schedule.”

“You’re going to give yourself a bad name, Coop,” Blaine chided giving his brother a look. 

A brother’s megawatt smile brightened the room. “Lighten up little bro, we all need to live a little.” 

Snaking his head, Blaine turned his attention to his dinner. As always, the evening cycled around Cooper and his wonderful career. He could not wait for his chance to wallow in his own self-interest. 

“Oh?” Cooper questioned looking to his brother with a mouthful of noodles and beef. “Dad’s given up.”

“Given up?” Blaine gave his older sibling a curious look as he sat back.

“Didn’t I tell you?” Cooper whimsically rolled his eyes and went back ot his food as if the comment had been some passing fancy.

“Come on Cooper, you got us sitting here like nuns in a cucumber patch” Kurt whimsically made a face as he as his face as he stared at his rice mixing with the chicken.

Giving his brother-in-law a look, Cooper shook a finger a him. “Nice one.”

“Cooper!” Back straight, Kurt glared at Cooper.

“Okay, here’s the deal little bro-in-law.” Cooper gave Kurt his best charmer smile and then shifted his attention to Blaine. “Hold onto you girdles . . . “

A married couple stared not understanding Cooper picked up some noodles and slurped them into his mouth. Followed by ship of tea, his eyes swirled toward the side walk where a group of young girls strolled by in a gaggle. 

Blaine’s forehead wrinkled up and then the looked to Kurt who gave him a shrug in return. Lips pressing together, Blaine glowered at his brother. “Coop?”

Artfully turning his attention back to his brother Cooper said in a nonchalant manner, “Oh, sorry, just a bit distracted.”

“If you’re going to play games, I’m . . .” Blaine cut himself short when a hand fell on his lap. His eyes shifted to the man he loved.

Please with himself, Cooper leaned on the table with both elbows drawing his face closer to her brother. In a low voice as if he had a big secret to tell he said, “I told dad that if he didn’t lay off mom I will just give you my part of the inheritance.”

“Coop?” Blaine questions, his tone hushed and low. His chin hung low and his eyes wide as he barely understood.

Shocked, Kurt shuttered, “You can’t.”

“Oh, but I can, and I will,” Cooper responded with a straight face.


	36. Snow

“Well it’s snowing.” Kurt droned as he stared out the window into the street. Thick flakes sparkled in the street lights almost obscuring the building across the road. Voices and soft music reminded Kurt he should be paying attentions to his studies of video biographies of famous stage actors.

“I guess we were due,” Blaine called back from bedroom where he sat in front of his piano. Tapping his cheek with a pencil while leaning over the unfinished passages of a musicals score he did not look impressed. Crumpled balls of parchment lay about his feet as he rested his head against his palm with an elbow pressed on the speaker just above the base keys.

Sitting up straight, his back popped sending a sense of relieve through his body as he. Welcoming the interruption, for three hours he tinkered with the keys getting nowhere fast. With time running out he wondered why he chose such a hard piece. Maybe it is because he liked Mozart but having to work off the parts meant for cello only complicated things. He chose his instrument from a bag held by his professor leaving his fate to random chance. The crux of the assignment consisted of using the score associated with the instrument and write the parts for a full orchestra. The resulting work needed to be original and ready for performance in seven weeks time. Blaine pitied the poor woman who ended up with the kettledrums.

Tired hazel eyes drifted toward the door and the light in the hall forced Blaine to squint. Shadows played over his face from the point light over the piano. Otherwise darkness took the room casting the queen-sized bed in dim gloom. Splashes of colour from the duvet and pillows broke up the monotoned dim.

“It really coming down out there. I would be surprised if there is not a foot or more over night.” Kurt continued to stare out the living room window. Hooded blue eyes glanced up down the street taking in the sight.

“Another New York mush storm.” Blaine moaned as he peeked as his evenings adventure and grinned. They ate early watching the news before switching over to something on the cooking channel.

“It’s a fluffier than mush but then its New York.”

“I thought you loved New York because it’s New York.”

“I did from the first trip. It’s so alive and fun,” Kurt called back. Pushing his nose into the glass his breath steamed it up. Drawing a heart and spelled out two names in it, he paused and wondered where he put that doodle from Dalton. “I love it when it’s like this. The city seems so quiet and the fresh.”

“All the noise, lack of trees and sun going down a three because of the buildings.”

“Just in Manhattan dear. Besides, you love the theater and go to every free concert there is.”

“I hate smelling like car exhaust and the only birds are the seagulls which craps on you and the pigeons getting underfoot.”

“And all the food.”

“Yeah, all the food and a gym to keep the love handles at bay.”

“You have a nice six pack.”

“It was a beer pack at one time.”

“Yeah, but you’re all so sexy now.”

Blaine fondly smiled as his head rolled down an up again. Loose coils of curly hair swooped across his eyes casting a shadow. Brushing it back he considered taking scissors to it.

Poking his head in the door, Kurt leaned against the frame with an erotic smirk no his face. In a low sexy tone, Kurt said, “You know it’s brighter out here.”

Swiveling on his stool, Blaine smiled at his playful husband with adoring eyes. Under this light, the sight of the man almost made his heart stop. They had a rare three days off together and they did what young any precocious couple did—sleep. A Thursday night romp made for lying in bed until noon followed by a lazy afternoon. That night they pranced about the dance floor with Rachel and friends from NYADA and NYU. Saturday brought a hangover and the beginning of a winter storm. It all brought them to this moment where Blaine licked his lips while slowly bobbed his head back and forth. Slowly he held out a hand.

Bashful eyes flickering as Kurt sauntered over and sat on his husband’s lap. Wrapping arms about each other, the gently kissed and then hugged. Swaying back and forth Kurt rest his chin on Blaine’s shoulder and blew warm air on his neck. Hands swooped up and down either back leaving Blaine feeling loved. Kurt could standoffish and even arrogant, but he had a side to him no one else saw and Blaine adored.

“How about we go for a walk in the park,” Blaine suggested in a low, sexy tone.

Pulling back Kurt stared at Blaine with a ‘really’ look on his face and then he grinned and said, “Okay, but on more kiss.”

Happily complying, Blaine set his lips to Kurt’s and went at it full tongue. At first Kurt seemed a little startled and then he responded with gusto. Tongues lashing against tongues two men held on to each other tighter as carnal appetite took over. Friends often commented the sexual tension between the two disrupted the calmest occasions. Their affinity always showed whether steaming up the dance floor or passed smothering glances during mime classes. At school, the sometime sickening connection, made them one of the power couples and a target. Several times jealous or unscrupulous people attempted to put a wedge between them dredging up the fear each felt one evening while on their honeymoon.

Fully aware of their magnetic pull for each other, they tried to temper it. Regardless, deep sentiment erupted when they sang duets or acted across from each other. Fate provided relief for those who endured their joy. Three days a week, Blaine studied at New York University, and his friends there did not see the dynamic between the two men as those in NYADA did. The atmosphere in the old halls felt different to Blaine giving him the time to bring his lusty desires in check. He only had to arrive home of have it explode again as they hotly kissed in the entry or danced around making dinner.

Drawing back first, Blaine licked Kurt’s lips and smiled. Stroking strands of combed hair, Blaine softly suggested, “I guess we have better dig out winter boots and jackets.”

Eyes wide with yearning, Kurt pouted and then sighed. “Now look what you did? You got me all hot and bothered.”

Kissing Kurt’s nose, Blaine winked. “It will keep you warm.”

“You’re such a devil.”

“I’ll give you my pitchfork later.”

Fifteen minutes later they stepped out into the snowy street with toques pulled over their heads, downy jackets and warm boots. Tugging his scarf tighter about his neck, Blaine smiled and then leaned into Kurt. Together they stared down the street from the steps of their building. Fresh white coated the streets, cars, tree and balconies like billions of diamonds sparkling in the lights catching it falling from the sky. The breeze lifted the shimmering flakes carrying them down the avenue as if it ushered the young men into the distance. Hiding the sins of a huge city, the virgin layer lay smooth and a couple of inches deep. Eerily quiet, it felt as if the city’s vast population departed leaving two men to their youthful imaginations.

One of the tumbling crystalline shapes came to rest on an eyelash and Blaine squinted to look at it before it melted. Another large flake piled into that one breaking it away before he could focus. Smiling, he peered at the man beside finding sparkling blue eyes glistened in the light. Errand flakes passed between the two of them and then Blaine slipped his right arm around Kurt’s left and took that step down onto the glistening, untouched sidewalks. Shoulder to shoulder they turned toward the end of the block and the brightness of the park lights set against the snow.

“It’s like a dream,” Blaine whispered as he pressed his shoulder against Kurt.

“It’s lovely,” Kurt looked about and up at the drifting snow caught in the lights. “So peaceful.”

“It’s almost like standing above the fog watching it change before your eyes.” Blaine could not stop himself from grinning.

One of Kurt’s eyebrows pushed up against the knitted fabric protecting his forehead. “The last time it was foggy you could get lost in it.”

Snickering, Blaine squeezed Kurt’s arm. “It’s only a manner of expressing the wonder I see in the mystery and beauty around us.”

Arm in arm the two men strolled down the sidewalk kicking up the snow as the went. Stepping to the left of get away from a tree set into the sidewalk, Kurt said, “It’s lovely and so’s the company.”

“I can and will say the same.” Blaine bumped shoulder with his husband again as they walked on.

Both men smiled and continued a slow saunter down the sidewalk leaving a meandering trial behind them. Walking foot over foot, Blaine liked the feeling of Kurt’s hips brushing up against his. In a quiet voice he said, “You, me and the hush. It feels so perfect.”

“It’s like being in a fairy tale.”

“And you’re my pixie queen.”

“Pixie, I can do that.”

“You did, and you looked so cute hanging over the stage.

“I was Peter Pan.”

“No, you were my little pixie who only wanted to share his dust.”

Kurt giggled. “Now that is an image I did not expect.”

“Right here and now, you are my . . .” Blaine stopped with the glitter of snow in headlights at the intersection just ahead. A few seconds later a car sped by spraying snow out from underneath it. Heading toward the main road a few blocks away it fishtailed on the slick road. Watching it disappeared around the next corner, he added, “Well there goes the pristine white virginity.”

Chuckling Kurt pulled the man along and when they got to the intersection, he looked both ways. The red lights of the car created a hallow and the headlights of a car coming toward them illuminated the street. Other vehicles plowed down other streets and the sidewalk looked walked along. Glancing back over his shoulder Kurt frowned.

Having followed the arch of those lovely blue eyes, Blaine said, “It’s kind of expected.”

“Well, we got our piece of it before it gets ruined.” Kurt groused.

Eyes narrowing, Blaine said, “Nothing’s ruined.”

Sliding his arm out from Kurt and grabbed his hand, Blaine ran across the street. Making his way along the wrought iron fence marking the park boundary a lamp shown down from overhead. Trotting, hand in hand, under the leafless trees Blaine’s heart soared with a sense of adventure. Feeling the freedom, he just wanted to run but in no way would he let that hand go. Playfully swinging the hand in his he danced along he jogged sideways for a short way, so he could see Kurt. Skirting the edge of the amphitheater he stopped at the top the seating and hauled Kurt into a fond hug followed by a kiss.

Beaming, red streaks spread Kurt’s neck and into his cheeks. Eyes squinting, as he gazed into those bright hazel eyes, he commented, “My, you’re in a mood.”

Shyly shrugging, Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt again. “I . . . I feel liberated.”

“Liberated?” Kurt’s brows went up and pressed together.

“I don’t know how to explain it.” Blaine snuggled closer. “Snow and a gorgeous man at my side, what could be better.”

“Come one, mister liberty,” said with a wide smirk.

Taking his partner’s right hand in his left, Kurt hauled his partner with him. Shaking his head as he smiled, Blaine followed as they made their way along the walkway. Footprints spoke of others passing this way, but their path took them under the leafless trees into an untouched spot of snow covered grass. As he moved Kurt bend down scooping up a glove full of snow and tossed it at Blaine. Making a face, Blaine tugged his hand free and scooped up a full hand full before hurling it at Kurt. Exploding into a huge puff the white powder floated on the breeze and away from the target. Going down for more, Kurt suddenly shoved his husband causing him to crash to the snow. Staring up at his beaming husband, Blaine molded a tight snowball and threw it at the man who already ran away. Striking the adorable man in the butt, Blaine hauled himself to his feet and tore after him.

Two laughing men ran through an open space throwing snow at each other and they danced about. One darted in and dumped a pile of snow on his partner only to have the it thrown back at him moments later. Casing Kurt over the grass throwing snowballs, Blaine eventually dragged him to the ground and where he rubbed snow into his lover’s face and Kurt started to complain. Throwing his face at his husband, Blaine shut him up with a kiss. Arms wrapped around him and then the two started to roll about. Coming up on top, Kurt got his revenge with a fresh splash of whiteness in a naturally tanned face. Howling together they hugged and crawled to their feet. Running hand in hand ran passed the baseball diamond ending up on the white grass close to Greene Avenue by Marcy. Here found an unblemished spot of snow and spent a long moment making snow angels.

His heart filled, Blaine noted the line between their angels where they reached for each other to hold hands. Taking out his phone, he snapped a picture and then kissed Kurt. “Your face is all wet.”

“I wonder why,” Kurt snickered.

Turning on the spot, Blaine threw his arm out wide and then beamed at the handsome man. “All this makes me forget we’re in this huge city where the towers grow up around us like mountains. We could have gone for a skate on the river followed by a hot chocolate.”

Kurt turned his head, so he could see Blaine. “You still miss Lima, don’t you?”

“I guess I always will.” Blaine slowed and turned Kurt so the gazed directly at one another and started to sing.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIiLvg58SY sung by Extreme but imagine Blaine and Kurt performing it.)

_Saying I love you_   
_Is not the words I want to hear from you_   
_It's not that I want you_   
_Not to say, but if you only knew_   
_How easy it would be to show me how you feel_   
_More than words is all you have to do to make it real_   
_Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me_   
_'Cause I'd already know_

Wildly ginning, Kurt took Blaine’s hands and slowly be began to move them in the spot making circled in the snow. Joined in during the appropriate moments, Kurt pitched his voice high to match the original singer. Blue eyes sparkled like sapphires as the flakes around fell with an increased tempo. Glittering in the dim light of the lamps along snow covered path it set the tone for the rest of the song.

_What would you do if my heart was torn in two_   
_More than words to show you feel_   
_That your love for me is real_   
_What would you say if I took those words away_   
_Then you couldn't make things new_   
_Just by saying I love you_

Voices came together making them sound as one and then the chords caused them to separate. Holding hands and spinning in a wide circle they viewed the quiet park different ways. It reminded Blaine of a time when the dam of their carnal desires remained unbreeched when moments like this made two hearts closer.

_More than words_   
_La di da, da di da, di dai dai da_

_Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand_   
_All you have to do is close your eyes_   
_And just reach out your hands and touch me_   
_Hold me close don't ever let me go_   
_More than words is all I ever needed you to show_   
_Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me_   
_'Cause I'd already know_

_What would you do if my heart was torn in two_   
_More than words to show you feel_   
_That your love for me is real_   
_What would you say if I took those words away_   
_Then you couldn't make things new_   
_Just by saying I love you_

Embracing, Kurt picked Blaine up and twirled him around with a joyfully emotional laugh. Words echoed in their minds like dandelion seeds floating on the wind bringing deep sentiment to the surface. The heat of their lips spread down into his chest where it tingled down into cool fingers. A hand came up to rest on Blaine’s cheek as Kurt slowly began shuffle his feet as if they danced. His tongue slipping deep into his partner’s mouth the growing stiffness in his pants gave Kurt’s intensions away. Slow steps moved them in a right turn as they pressed into each other. Enthralled, a fantasy cycled on the edge of Blaine’s mind—sex in the snow.

The sound of crunching snow encroached on an intimate moment and then someone cleared their throat.

Startled, two men jumped apart and swirled around utterly. Eyes wide, Blaine’s muscles tensed as whirled about expecting to defend his lover. He stopped cold and stared. His voice rose a couple of octaves as he choked on a single work, “Gail?”

“In the flesh.” Hidden within a mound of clothing, the redhead spread her arms wide with a huge smile on her face. “Look at the two of you hot and heavy on this cold day. I need to get my phone out.”

Straightening his hat and scarf, Kurt’s forehead wrinkled as he gave the barista an indignant look. “Ha ha.”

“Come on, we’d get millions of hits.” Gail happily bounced back and forth on her feet.

“I don’t think so Gail,” Blaine chided with an impish grin. “If you want to get into that lifestyle talk Matthew into it.”

“Straight sex, really. Two men getting in on is hot. No, more than hot.”

Rolling his eyes, Kurt could not stop himself for smiling. “Gail, what are you doing here?”

“I would know your angelic voices anywhere.” Gail glanced at the wings pressed in the snow and smiled. “But I never expected to find a porno in the making.”

Pushing the cuff back so he could look at his watch, Blaine disliked the sensation of something deflating. “Shouldn’t you still be at work.”

“With this ugly stuff,” Gail held her hands out and looked up at the low clouds, “It’s slow as all hell. Matthew phoned and said they’re shutting down the buses, so I am going to see if I can catch one before it’s too late.”

“You lived around the corner.” Kurt pointed out as he reached out taking Blaine’s right hand. “Why go to Bushwick?”

“You guys lived there once so I could not be that bad.” The smug look on Gail’s face gave it al away. “Besides, Matthew is great in the sack and I kind of like waking up with him.”

“And how long will that last?” Kurt mused with an evil glint in his eye.

Swatting Blaine’s lover, Gail shot back. “Oh, girlfriend, why don’t you give me a chance with short and cute. Then we’ll see.”

Giving her an odd look, Blaine said, “Sorry, Gail but you have an innie and like an outie.”

“You’ve been living with Matthew for, what three months and you are still a duo?” Kurt stated before Gail could open her mouth. “There has to be hidden threesome somewhere. After all, you’re addicted.”

“Ha ha, but he’s got a huge cock, lover boy.” Gail pocked Blaine in the chest. “He’d tickle you in placed you have never scratched before.”

Waving a finger in front of Gail’s face, one of Kurt’s eyebrows went up as he gave her a sideways look. “Girlfriend, no one can beat my pecker.”

Face contorting into a strange appearance somewhere between shock and embarrassment, Blaine stared at his husband. Self-conscious Kurt rarely spoke like that, especially in public, but then, Gail went beyond public a year ago.

Howling, Gail bend forward resting her hands against her knees.

Suddenly realizing what he said, Kurt furiously blushed and buried his head into the Blaine’s shoulder. His reaction charmed the man with curly hair who pressed down a hand on his toque. Tightening his grip on the left hand his right, Blaine kissed his husband on the cheek. In a low voice he clearly stated, “I love you so much.”

His head coming up, beaming blue orbs stared at hazel and Kurt whispered, “I love you too.”

“Oh mush.” Gail complained as she rolled her head.

Giving his co-worker a look, Blaine smiled. “Look kettle, you can stop sucking Matthew’s teeth out at work. You’re so noisy.”

Hand on her hips, the read and blue lights of a police car running along the block reflected on the falling snow and the accumulation. “Well pot.”

“Gail, I do love you.” Blaine’s lips stretched into a wide grin.

“But not in that way?” she countered with a sideways look.

Mischievousness flashed in Blaine’s eyes as he glared at Gail. “Sorry dear, you’re lacking a joystick unlike my large expert here.”

Gagging on his breath, Kurt squeaked, “Blaine?”

Patting Kurt on the top of his head, Gail said, “Give it up Kurt, you are not innocent and this man of yours is so sickening in love with you. I’m so jealous.”

“He is rather special.” Blaine butt his shoulder into Kurt.

“Yes, he is.” Gail sighed and looked up into the sky again. “Well I guess I have better leave you to finish your porn production and see if the thirty-eight is still running.”

“We’ve been in the park for about an hour and I haven’t seen any busses.” Kurt looked over his should toward Lafayette.

“Damn,” Gail did not look pleased. “I guess I could find a taxi.”

“Come on home with us and wait until tomorrow.” Blaine suggested with a sideways glimpse of Kurt.

“Finally, the threesome of my wet dreams.” Gail winked.

“The couch is comfortable.” Blaine ignored her and turned. Taking Kurt’s hand, he walked along the path toward the theatre.

“I hope you two like it.” Tagging along Gail land a hand on each man’s shoulder.

“We might even have chilled bottle of wine.” Kurt commented as he swung his lover’s arm.

“Party!” Gail enthusiastically announced. Her voice drifted through the park.

“With two boring gay men?” Blaine questioned.

“For Christ’s sack I’ve seen on the dance floor.” Squeezing between the boys, Gail happily said, “Thanks guys.”


	37. Stretched

BAH 12:22 PM: Hey you there?

BAH 12:24 PM: Forgot, it morning there. ☹☹☹

He saw his pouty faced husband off on a trip to Paris with Rachel fidgeted at his side. A few weeks earlier two young men jumped for joy when Madam Tibideaux announced the best of the best would be going to the Conservatoire national supérieur de musique et de danse de Paris. Kurt fell in third spot and, of course, Rachel commented she would have been first if she had not dropped out. Blaine wished he could have gone but no, school and the pocket book worked against him.

Feeling unfulfilled, a sullen young man returned home and cleaned up the clutter before starting the laundry. Down in the basement he struggled against the lose he felt while going over a textbook on dance. Upstairs he folded the cloths, showered and tried for force his heavy heart to let him get some sleep. In his mind he envisioned Kurt out on the town eyeing up all he Parisian boys as he commented about the fashions. Sinking into the swamp of his own making, he hated the way he made things up in his head and the unbearable ache in his chest. 

As the days moved on Blaine found some relief because his love kept him in the loop. Trying to keep Skype PG proved easy because Kurt shared a room with Glen. Both men knew of Glen’s reputation and his respected their privacy, most of the time, surprised them. Twice he interrupted when he brought a French girl back to the apartment, but his habit of walking past the camera very naked became the biggest concern. Kurt slammed the computer shut the first time it happened stunning Blaine. When they reconnected, Kurt’s white skin radiated hot red while Glen made excuses in the background. 

On the other hand, Kurt’s relationship with Cathy caused nothing but tension. A social climber from southern Bible Belt, she made Rachel look rational. Going into her third and final year like Kurt, her nasty streak made her many enemies, but could she sing. When Madam Tibideaux relented and let Rachel return at the beginning of the next semester Cathy had a fit. Cathy saw Rachel as a threat and being her friend painted Kurt with a similar brush. 

Happy go lucky Tabitha tended to be a follower until placed behind a piano where she killed it. Born with a clubbed foot, she gained her grade eight in piano by fourteen and won several national awards by the time she turned eighteen. It pleased Blaine to have Tabitha there. Some students belittled her because of her disability but Blaine knew it only gave her strength. Once he found her crying in one of the stairwells and, as he had with Kurt years ago, Blaine talked her through it. The adventure may not have garnered him flowers, yet the pleasure of seeing her pick herself up spoke volumes. Knowing Kurt at least had Tabitha’s support made Blaine feel better.

Barbara did whatever Barbara wanted. A bit of a hippy free spirit she made both men laugh with her wacky comments and suggestions. She loved the mediation classes and smoked a little too much weed. Without a stash, she became a bit growly until one of the girls Glen hooked up with proved some relief. Mellowing out, she became the usual, funny Barbara most people loved. Her attitude clashed with Cathy which made for a few interesting arguments from across the hall. 

Flopping back Blaine’s head wacked against the headboard. Wincing he dropped the phone as a hand shot up to rub the back of his head. Laughing at himself, Blaine knew he over reacted. Letting out a loud sigh and then glanced at the clock. Needing sleep, he picked up the phone and typed.

BAH 12:31 PM: Dreaming of you, my love.

Staring the words for a little while, Blaine carefully placed the phone down. Blowing a kiss to the picture of two men dancing at their wedding, he turned out the light and rolled into the pillow marking the vacant side of the bed. Burying his head in the pillow he drew in a deep breath hoping to find some hint of hair product. It took a while for dreams took him and when it did, he went out like a light. Sometime later, he jumped for the phone and swiping up he found a text. 

KAH 1:39 AM: Hey sexy. OMG, I miss you.”

Blurry eyes and fat finger produced works autocorrect had trouble with. 

BAH 1:41 AM: Piss you say lunch.

KAH 1:42 PM: Woke you? Huh? 

Releasing a huge yawn, Blaine dropped the phone on the duvet and then scooped it up again.

BAH 1:44 AM: Yeah…How could five simple words mean so much, but they do.

KAH 1:45 AM: Ahhhhhh

BAH 1:45 AM: How are you? How is Paris?

KAH 1:47 AM: The city is fantastic. I walked passed Dior and almost died.

BAH 1:48: One day, my dear.

KAH 1:49 AM: I’m sorry I woke you.

BAH 1:51 AM: I’m happy you did. 

KAH 1:51 AM: You have to work tomorrow.

BAH 1:52 AM: So, I’ll yawn a lot. 

KAH 1:55 AM: I should let you sleep.

BAH 1:55 AM: No, I need this. I miss you so much and this week is going to be busy with two exams and a recital. 

KAH 1:57 AM: You’ll kill it.

BAH 2:01 AM: I am not looking forward to work in the morning. Gail and her boyfriend had a fight and she stomped out. She’ll make life miserable.

KAH 2:02 AM: I wish I could hug you.

BAH 2:03: I wish I could see your face and hear your voice.

KAH 2:04 AM: The others are about. We’re at the Eiffel Tower for sunrise. Sending a picture.

KAH 2:04 AM: Picture of Kurt and Madam Tibideaux with the lit tower in the background.

BAH 2:07 AM: Cute. I’m sending it to Rachel, she will be so jealous.

KAH 2:08 AM: I bet. How are you doing, really?????

BAH 2:09 AM: Miserable. The bed’s so empty.

KAH 2:11AM: I know. You could pull out the Kurt puppet.

BAH 2:13 AM: It will have to do until the real one gets home. Sigh. Is the three weeks over yet.

KAH 2:15 AM: It’s not that far away.

BAH 2:16 AM: I know. ☹

KAH 2:16 AM: I could just kiss you right now.

BAH 2:17 AM: You’re making me all hot and bothered.

KAH 2:19: The gals are bugging us to get breakfast.

BAH 2:20 AM: Have fun. I’ll sleep better now.

KAH 2:21 AM: Good.

BAH 2:22 AM: Love love love love love you.

KAH 2:23 AM: Love love love love you too .

Swiping down, the long list of texts from Paris, Blaine stared at other rows of hearts. Yes, he brooded and why not? Kurt came home and now he’s on the other side of the continent getting ready to start his four hours shift at Vogue dot com. The problem cycled around the fact Blaine sat at his cousin’s table on the west coast. Being in Seattle thrilled Blaine even if he felt off this morning. Both husbands planned to celebrate Trish’s graduation from medical school only to have Paris change everything. It killed him to leave two weeks after Kurt got back without the man he loved. Kurt needed the spending money for Paris meaning they could only afford the one ticket. A brief fight made matters worse and perhaps that’s the reason Blaine suffered this morning. 

The pain behind his eyes spiked when he looked down at his phone on the table. His cousin stood next to the sink in front of a rain swept window preparing homemade bread to go into the oven. The sound of her puttering around in her two-bedroom apartment woke him a couple of hours ago and he, only recently, dragged himself into the land of the living. Sitting there waiting for the coffee to brew and hoped Kurt would reply to his six texts, Blaine privately wished Trish had a magic pill. 

Sighing, he looked down at the multitude of Paris related texts crammed his phone’s memory. Pushing the device away, he groaned and peaked at the coffeemaker. Fighting the desire to stomp over there to stop the annoying sound of the water being forced through the filter he decided standing to be a dangerous act. Why did not she have a Keurig? At least it would be faster and less noisy? 

“You’re having a tough time of it this morning,” Trish commented as he opened the oven to put three loaves of bread in. “I’ve got some Tylenol?”

“Ah . . . okay . . . maybe something stronger.” Blaine moaned.

“Nope, just the normal stuff.” Trish opened a cabinet next to the sink and pulled out a red bottle. Taking the lid off she, dropped a couple into her palm. Pulling the coffee pot free from its nest, she poured and then stepped forward placing it in front of Blaine. 

Popping the pills followed by a generous portion of unsweetened coffee, Blaine made a face and groaned, “Thank you.”

“Give it a little while and you will feel only tolerably miserable.” His cousin started to clean up the counter next to the stove.

“Gee thanks.” Blaine moaned just as the phone buzzed on the tabletop. Painfully jerking back into his chair, the rush of blood pumping from his pounding heart made him feel worse. 

KAH 1:01 PM: Hey there love. Sorry it took so long. I just got in the door and heading for my work station.

With a halfhearted grin Blaine snapping up the phone and started to type. All the while he smiled to beat the band. 

BAH 1:01 PM: OMG I love you so much.

Turning away from the counter, Trish pulled herself up straight as she watched Blaine happily staring at the tiny screen. The man looked up with a stupid grin on his face and she waved at the phone.

KAH 1:02 PM: Blaine, you just made my day.

BAH 1:02 PM: I miss you so much.

KAH 1:03 PM: I miss you too. How was the ceremony?

BAH 1:04 PM: It was nice. I could not stop myself from smiling when Trish accepted her diploma. We have a doctor in the family who promised to help me with my hangover.

KAH 1:06 PM: Poor baby. 

BAH 1:07 PM: Yeah, from my personal doctor. Oh, Trish says hello.

KAH 1:08 PM: Tell her to join.

“Trish, Kurt wants you to join our chat.” Blaine felt every word behind his eyes.

Nodding she picked up her phone.

BAH 1:09 PM: She’s signing in now.

KAH 1:09 PM: Do I get to here the puke story?

BAH 1:09 PM: Ich, no. There was none.

KAH 10:10 PM: We have time.

DocTrish 1:11 PM: Hey there cutie pie. Don’t worry, Blaine is being a good boy. I only had to drag him away from one hunky dude.

KAH 1:11 PM: Was he cute?

DocTrish 1:12 PM: Greatest ass.

BAH 1:13 PM: Trish? Kurt don’t listen to her.

DocTrish 1:14 PM: That brute of a husband of yours just hit me.

His head spinning, Blaine paid for the smack he gave his cousin. He fumbled his rebuttal a couple of times before getting it off.

BAH 1:16 PM: I barely touched her, and I have not been chasing other men. Now she’s laughing. 

DocTrish 1:17 PM: Really Blaine.

KAH 1:18 PM: I’ll bend him over my knee when he gets home. 

DocTrish 1:19 PM: Please do. He’s being a growly little cub and he’s hitting me again.

KAH 1:20 PM: Play nice Blaine or I will have to take your toys away.

BAH 1:20 PM: Me????? She started it.

DocTrish 1:21 PM: Okay, I pushed him into the guy. So, sue me.

KAH 1:23 PM: ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

DocTrish 1:23 PM: I’ll leave you two to drool over each other. I have to watch the bread and I’m going to have to put something in Blaine’s stomach.

KAH 1:26 PM: See you Trish. Try to keep my sweet little cub out of trouble.

DocTrish 1:27 PM: Will do. You should have come. He really missed you.

KAH 1:28 PM: And face the wrath of JS.

“JS?” Trish asked Blaine as she turned to find her coffee. For a morning it looked dark in her apartment thanks to the clouds hanging just over the trees. “We could call him you know.”

“He’s at work,” Blaine replied as he typed away.

“He must be bored,” Trish held up a mug in her cousin’s direction with a quaint smile.

Rolling his eyes, Blaine typed away.

BAH 1:32 PM: Trish says work must be boring.

KAH 1:33 PM: Yeah, it is.

BAH 1:33 PM: I miss you too.

KAH 1:34 PM: Now I know what you felt like when I was in Paris. Oh, I missed you then, but I was excited I was in the fashion capitol of the world.

BAH 1:36 PM: I know. You were always great at finding deals.

A few moments passed, and Blaine leaned into the table with his head in his palms waiting for a reply. Slowly the pills took the agony behind his ears replacing it to a grinding ache. On top of everything, the smell of the bread cooking made him uneasy stomach rumble. Remaining in that position for several long minutes he listened to Trish moving around humming. 

“I want to thank you for being quiet.” Blaine carefully broke his silence. He felt like as if death tapped a tea cup and the tinging sound drove into his head like a nail. 

Smiling as she reached up for her coffee, she said, “That’s alright dear. I’ve been where you are many times. It’s an occupational hazard for the young.”

“Great, more shit to worry about.” Blaine opened his eyes and waited for the blur to fade.

“When I was your age I tied it on like the best of them.” She replied before taking a huge sip from her mug.

“I got drunk once and kissed a girl, Rachel, in front of Kurt.”

“I’m sure he liked that,”

“We weren’t together yet . . . well officially. I questioned my sexuality for a while until she side blinded me with another kiss. Worst of all Kurt saw the whole thing and stood there with a look of vindication. I went to the washroom and cried. Kurt came in shortly after all I could do was hug him.”

Walking over to the table and tapped his mug. “Drink up, it might not make you feel better, but it will take the fuzz away.”

“Thanks.” Blaine pulled the mug up to his nose and took a long breath. 

“You’re welcome.” Turning back to the counter and then looked back. “You are really stuck this morning, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know why?” Lifting his head, Blaine grinned at his older cousin. 

A gust of wind forced the smell of the cedars in the rain through the slit in the window. Blaine liked Seattle because of all the green. Cooler than the east coast and definitely wetter, trees grew everywhere, and the hills gave his calves an unexpected workout. Unlike New York the streets always appeared clean and Blaine saw wildlife from racoons, hawks and even an eagle snatching up a fish from Lake Washington. The marvels did not answer the question why he felt lost.

Sitting next to her cousin, Trish placed a hand on Blaine’s arm. “To be so much in love.”

Smiling, the young man looked to his cousin. “He’s my soul mate, but . . .”

“But?”

“When Kurt got back from Paris it as like Christmas. I couldn’t get enough of him. We laughed and played like we had just met again.”

“So, what’s wrong.”

“Between Kurt and I, nothing. We couldn’t be better. We have little tiff now and then, but we also talk.”

Sipping her coffee, Trish nodded. “That’s a good thing, but it doesn’t answer my question.”

Glancing at his phone, Blaine hoped to find a message there but nothing.

“Blaine.” Trish’s head titled to one side.

Pouting, Blaine took a long draft of his coffee as he looked to the window. With as sigh he admitted, “I just feel so . . . stretched.”

Trish leaned closer. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to say it.” Rolling his head from side to side, Blaine looked unhappy. “Maybe its because we’re so busy and then Kurt gets this chance of a life time. He loved it there and sent me pictures every day. Passed the Dion fashion house and got so excited. Well, you know Kurt and his cloths. He came back with a new suitcase of stuff which cost us to get it through customs. I could have killed him, but I couldn’t stop loving him.”

Looking concerned, Trish inquired, “Money’s tight?” 

“Yeah,” Blaine spread his arms wide. “Thus, the reason I came alone. Our scholarships cover all the school expenses, but New York isn’t cheap to live in.”

“Nowhere is, Blaine. Housing prices in Seattle skyrocketed after Expo 86 and the Olympics in Vancouver.”

“I guess I’m just frustrated we’re not getting anywhere.”

“Blaine, you’re young and in school. Dial it back. One thing at a time.”

He sighed. 

“Is everything really alright with Kurt?” Trish asked in a tender, low voice. “You know sexually?”

Blinking, Blaine looked to his cousin and drew in a deep breath. “It’s good . . . but . . .”

“Again . . . but?”

“We never seem to have time together anymore. My first year at NYU passed in a haze and now were a quarter of the way into number two with the summer classes I took. It’s like we’re ships passing in the night even though we’re together every night.”

“Does Kurt feel this way?” Trish asked.

Light brown eyes went to the phone again. “I don’t know.”

“Blaine, you need to speak to him. For god sakes he sat threw all that shit Daniel threw at both of you.” Smiling, Trish slid her chair closer and poked her cousin in the chest. “You know the man adores you so give him a chance. Tell him what you feel in here.”

“Dad was . . . well I’m not going there. I just wish it would all be settled. Cooper made his ultimatum and now everything has stalled.”

“I see that look on you face and don’t go there, Blaine. It is not your fault you parents are headed for divorce. You’re gay. It’s biology. The fact for your dad turned out to be a closeted religious asshole is his issue, not yours.”

The metaphor made Blaine laugh which jiggled his brain enough to make him cringe. Groaning, he picked up his coffee and swallowed a large draft. “We’re not giving up on my dreams.”

“To become a famous Broadway star.” His cousin said as he stood and walked toward the coffeemaker. “A touch up.”

“Sure, please.” Blaine pushed his cup across the table even though the sound aggravated his head. “I love performing and writing music. It makes me feel alive. Kurt and I have a plan to set up a production company.”

“That’s ambitious.” Returning with the coffeepot, Trish tops up his mug. 

Nodding, Blaine went on. “We know we can’t do little about it while I’m in school. We’re thinking of getting started in my third year. By then we’ll have a game plan worked out.”

“Take it slowly and . . .” Trish stopped when Blaine’s phone suddenly beeped.

Looking down Blaine smiled as he picked it up. 

KAH 2:22 PM: Sorry love, JS called, and I had to take a quick pee before we get down to it.

BAH 2:23 PM: Design a killer layout.

KAH 2:24 PM: Text when I’m free.

BAH 2:25 PM: Love you and miss you so much.

KAH 11:26 PM: Love you back.

“I like it when you smile,” Trish observed with a wink. Putting her mug down she turned and glanced at the timer on the stove.

“He makes me smile.” Blaine sipped his coffee. “The girl I mentions, Rachel, she had the led in Fanny on Broadway and almost blew up her career. Long story. Any, she’s seeing Jesse St. James who won a Tony for direction. He’s giving us advice.”

“Wow.”

“He says we should use whatever connections we have to their advantage. We’re planning to tap into the resources at school and reaching back into the past. Prior to our wedding, an influential woman took a shining to me and learned a lesson on what love can be. Well that aside, she’s rich and not afraid to spend her billions on the arts. Every year we exchanged Christmas cards and chat on the computer ever so often.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“I was so flattered when she first approached me after Kurt and I sang for her. Then she didn’t want Kurt, so I lied saying I had a part for him. It got messy, but I was willing to give it all up for him. He urged me not to.”

“Lying is not a good way to get a relationship to work.”

“Yeah, I know. Anyhow, June set up a showcase for me. When it came down to the last song I told the crowd, if they want to know me they should get to know my one true love. You should have seen the look on June’s face. I thought, well there I just flushed it, but I wanted Kurt to know he will always be my number one. We sang and wooed the audience, and, in the end, June admitted she was wrong.”

Peaking through the oven door glass, Trish chuckling. “You’ve got horseshoes up your butt my boy. Cooper is going to be so jealous.”

“Perhaps,” Blaine grinned and sipped his coffee and smiled. “Rachel, well she’s a bit of a diva and she’s got all excited about us setting up a production company. She started telling us what we should do, and she should have the lead. Jesse calmly shut her down. They’ve got an interesting relationship which started back in school. Their egos . . .”

A cousin cut him off as her eyebrows pushed together. “That’s nice, Blaine, but I really don’t need to hear about Rachel private life.” 

“Sorry,” Blaine felt embarrassed. “Anyhow, Rachel has offered to be a surrogate for Kurt and I.”

Trish spun around on her heel with an odd look on her face. Her brows went up and down a few times and then she walked over and sat again. Head slightly tilted to one side she gave her cousin a ‘we have to talk’ look.

Staring his cousin right in the eyes, Blaine added, “Yes, and she says she’d do twins.”

“Holy god, Blaine!” Trish’s chin dropped. 

Blaine happily nodded.

Blinking, Trish said, “Well . . . that’s a huge.”

“Tell me about it, but, don’t worry it’s not going to happen until after graduation.” A curly haired man half shrugged with a goofy grin. 

“You’re going to need your grandmother’s money.”

“I know.”

“Twins.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you told Pam or Kurt’s parents?”

“Not yet.”

“Blaine!”


	38. Renewed

Blaine thrust his lover through the door and into the cabinet against the wall pressing his lips to Kurt. The luggage landed on the floor with a thump as he closed the door with his foot. Caught off guard, Kurt wrapped his arms about his husband returning the physical reflection of free emotion. Head tilted, there tongues met creating a playful shock within his chest. Fingers twitched and then roamed down Blaine’s back finding the edge of his coat. Pulling it up, Kurt dug his fingers under the belt tugging at the shirt. Skin touched skin bringing a loud, lusty groan to his throat. The garment ended up on the floor in short order.

Grinding his hips against his lover, Blaine smiled in to Kurt’s lips. The heart pounded in his chest sent blood rushing into an anxious object between his legs. Already aware of the monster spreading in his lover’s underwear, hands reached down grasping Kurt’s ass squeezing his hard buns. The man on the receiving in squirmed and playfully pulling his head back so great oceans of blue stared into dazzling hazel eyes. 

One sexy motion of the mouth and Blaine’s body almost puddled around him. Night after night he dreamed of the sight of a one-sided smirk. Now he felt it against his cheek and unknown sentiment effervesced within a heaving chest. These whirling emotions prevented him from drawing on coherent thought as the soul drank in the heavenly sight as an overstimulated heart pumped blood into his burning loins. 

Deliberately slow, Blaine’s hands slide around Kurt taking both hands in his. Lifting them together to his lips he gently kissed both. Beautiful or gorgeous could not describe the sexy man he watched with alluring eyes. He stood there like a smothering Adonis waiting to be worshipped and Blaine desperately wanted to pray. 

The demigod in tight dark green pants wearing deck shoes a bright sweater over his shirt just stood there looking like a meal to a famished wanderer. The edge of his vision blurred leaving a few small impressions of home dancing within his mind. The paint on the wall mentioned their laughter as they flicked paint at each other. The mirror counted the hours both stood there making sure they would always look the best for each other. The carpet resisted muddy shoes and the drapes over the fire escape window told them they would always have their special places. The rings on their fingers lifted the heart reminding them that even in the darkest moments they belonged forever together. 

Somewhere on a shelf, almost hidden from view, a silver coloured frame immortalized a snapshot in life one of the two men felt happy. Two adults in their late thirties stood side by side with a eight-year-old boy between them. Backed by a breathtaking landscape of water and snowcapped mountains, the sky had purple tint to its blueness. The stunning woman with long, wavy, brunette hair smiled warmly and gentleman proudly wrapped his arm around an older teenage. The boy with a large mop of curly hair looked so adorable in his little blazer. The only reminder of a time when Blaine felt the wholeness of his family, he often wondered why he kept the four inches by three-inch picture. 

The larger photo of poppa Hummel holding a five-year-old in his arms with his beautiful, redheaded mother obscured the smaller. Blaine often found himself staring at the picture wondering how events might be different if Kurt’s mother lived. He could certainly see where his darling husband got his fabulous looks. More his mother than Burt, a father’s upbringing and the torments of a young life made Kurt into the man Blaine loved. 

For good or bad these little things spoke of the life two men made with each other. Sometimes they did not succeed and in those moments, Blaine felt the love deep down in his chest give him hope. Here, with Kurt pressed against him any misgivings the long flight might have dredged up faded away as a wave of unbelievable sentimentality washed over Blaine. Salty water welled up in his eyes and then rolled down his cheek. Catching his breath, Blaine’s chest squeezed tight. He loved Kurt so much and only wanted him to be happy. God knows, he made Blaine more than happy. 

Staring at the tear held by the short stubble of Blaine’s cheek, Kurt drew in a contented breath. Those pretty hazel eyes enriched him and in the instant all he wanted to do involved enveloping the darling man in his arms. Kurt’s Adam’s apple shifted at the same time as Blaine’s. 

An abrupt intake of air from both froze in place. Neither of them made a move and then they started to fondly chuckle. Lips spreading wide they stared at each other while holding hands between them. A moment of lust faded into something soft and loving as their souls moved beyond primal needs of the body. The beating of two hearts became one allowing a calm to spread between them. Pressure down under deflated easing the tension stretched with taunt fabric.

Blue locked on hazel and amber-brown brown on sparkling azure. Hunger rooted them in place for several long, wonderful ticks of an imaginary clock and then Blaine blinked. Fate took hold of him and a hand slipped from Kurt’s striking Blaine’s thigh with a thud. At the same time, the right foot slide back one pace forcing the body to follow. The humid breeze passing down the hall felt good, but not as virtuous as the sight before him. Every inch of his love looked impeccably tasty. No, beyond impeccable. The slightest hint of five o’clock shadow made him drool but what he saw inside tantalized. Counting every lash and memorized the way his medium length hair rolled this way and that Blaine felt a lingering regret. Thick lips curled up as his expression revealed a fondness Blaine did not know how to express in words. The of his life stood still like a mirror peering into his soul. 

A shoe lifted, and Blaine took another step back. When the other shuffled beside the first, Blaine let out a soft puff of air. Eyes locked on the object of adulterant yearning and his knees went weak. The reflection of the other boy’s humanity revealed things he had never imagined. In his mind Blaine saw two teenagers lounging on towels beside a slow moving and heavily forested river. One of them soaked up the sun while the other sat beneath large umbrella. The darker skinned boy looked up at the other with love in his eyes. Peeking past the magazine he read Kurt seductively winked. He loved that afternoon but had never vocalized it to the man he loved. The right side of the Blaine’s face lifted tailed by the rest of the mouth followed with the fond remembrance.

The twinkle of light on the blue seas of Kurt’s eyes brightened as a pale pink rose in his cheeks making Blaine feel warm all over. For hours he worried about this moment and what would come of it. Thoughts of messy, horny sex filled his fantasies, but reality turned out to be an easygoing sensuously erotic affair. Emotions ran hot and cold along with the expansion and contraction in his pants. 

Trembling nerves eased a foot behind him forcing the other to follow. The space between them increased when Kurt unconsciously matched the step creating a subtle and erogenous dance of intimacy. The light streaming down the hall slowly shifted as the sun set behind the building across the street. Reflecting off the mirror the brilliance highlighted the faces of a couple standing a couple of feet of apart. Both men held their breath and then exhaling at the same moment sending goose bumps rolled along Blaine’s arms. Chests and stomachs rose and fell as the hesitant moment edged on. 

Inhibitions held until Blaine let out a long breath. Slowly, the curly headed boy reached up and pulled at the bow tie about his neck. The hand tied fabric effortlessly slithered out from under the collar of his pull over shirt. The accessary hovered there for a long second before gravity slowly hauled it the last inch. It floated to the floor with twisting lightness.

His chest inflated to its fullest and all of Kurt’s apprehension whittled away. Wide eyes noted every motion without looking away from the beautiful globes across from him. Shining amber-brown greeted him and his heart halted for single beat. Naturally tinted fingers hovering just below Blaine’s chin for a brief half moment. Slowly the curly headed teen undid the three buttons loosening the collar. The faintest hint of fine dark hair just below the nap of Blaine’s neck caused a raspy gasp to Kurt’s lips. Blue eyes widened as supple fingers pressed large buttons through knitted fabric and then, with a shrug of the shoulder, Kurt’s brightly coloured cardigan tumbling to the floor it settled at his heels. 

Hazel remained locked on blue as Blaine tugged his shirt over his head exposing a fine layer of chest fuzz his lover enjoyed so much. Holding his arm out straight he watched the depth of Kurt’s gaze. Eventually gravity caused the garment slipped from his fingers.

Several buttons popped through fabric and then the soft cloth drifted to the floor. Tiny bumps about the nipples spoke of the chill air tightening the skin around two deliciously erect mound of flesh. Effortlessly drifting down to the floor, the soft fabric coiled in on itself. 

A pregnant pause filled with seductive looks faded when Blaine’s legs moved as one shoe came off one after another other. Bare feet touched cool tiles. 

Toes wiggled within brown and light green socks after Kurt slipped off his footwear.

The pressure about Blaine’s waist released itself in an exotically slow. Shucked his pants past his ankles the garment dangled on Blaine’s right foot. He nonchalantly kicking his pants to one side. 

With casual disregard both hands reached for his zipper. Down it went and with a quick snap Kurt pushed his pants off each leg taking his socks with him. For the duration of their contortions blue and hazel never separated.

Standing there facing each other in intriguing undergarments of different designs, flashes of motion gave provocative hints of the other’s body might offer. Outside the sun dropped further below an artificial horizon casting shadows across the floor and up onto the wall. The brightness emphasized heaving torso muscles. Both men just stood there for the longest time drinking in the beauty of their souls. Then Blaine drew in a provocative breath and both boys dug into the waistband at the same time. Pushing the garments down, legs and hips moved allowing the last obstacle to their nakedness to drop to the floor. In unison they lifted their feet and pushed the articles of clothing aside. Fat penises hung down in content peacefulness. 

A tweak of lust touched Blaine’s heart as he gazed at the adorable man in front of him. Internal ticking echoed in his ears and then, with deliberate slowness, he enveloped the other man in his arms. Lips smacking together, he kissed Kurt so hard the man almost fell backward. Grabbing onto Blaine for support, Kurt held on as if his life depended on it. Blood rushed through their veins igniting passions and their resting giants. Swaying in each other’s arms, the yellow-orange light reflected off a silvered glass surface cast points of brightness over their harmonizing bodies. 

Unbridled appetite took Blaine and he teeth tugged on his lover’s puffy lower lip. Fully aroused Kurt thrust his lover hard up against the opposite wall. Arching closer, Kurt pushed his face into Blaine’s thick, sexy lips. At the same time his thumb traced a line down the soft hair of Blaine’s chest sending a shiver up his husband’s back. Reversing the motion, three digits ran up the channels of the stomach finding a stiff nipple. Blaine’s eyes fluttered and with a groan he pulled his adorable husband tightly to him. 

Wandering fingers passed around to the back where fingers softly tucked into the long crack of a firm buttock. The point of no return passed when a large toy pressing into this thigh slid up to its full and tasty length. The sensation of his lover’s finger skimming over soft hair brought an awed look to Blaine’s face. With little effort he shifted his body just enough to release two engorged appendages pressed flesh to flesh. The shorter man’s erection swooped down below Kurt’s enormity where it deliberately strained against the scrotum. Closing his eyes, Kurt spread his legs providing a hint of the pending future. Goose bumps rose upon exposed skin. 

Relishing the sensation of Kurt submitting, Blaine wandered the paths of intensified sensuality created by the tantalizingly gentle touch of his lover fully captured him. An excited groan rolled up his throat as one of Kurt’s long, fingers traced a line up his back causing him to quake. Grinning into the lips on his, Blaine leaned forward with his digits still playing around Kurt’s never regions. With a concerted effort, he tried not to let the moment get to him even though he felt he wetness at the tip of his thick love muscle. 

Amused. Kurt slid his tongue down the soft hair of Blaine’s body he crouched down as he kissed down his left side. Stopping inches from the edge of the hair at the base of a delightful lollipop, he released a controlled puff of air. The man on the receiving end openly shudder and grabbed Kurt’s hair. Dragging the wisp up a hard length of flesh Kurt turned his head so the angle of the air changed. 

With the wickedest smirk on his face, Blaine threw his head back with that ‘oh god’ sensation rolling up his lean body. Lost in the moment his hands reached down to naked skin where they began to massage muscles shoulders. His form shuddered as Kurt worked his tongue down his inner thigh. Smiling, Kurt kissed a knee and lightly and then began to chew around to the back side causing his lover to call out. Fingers grasped lengths of hair as Blaine gently tried to pull Kurt from an erogenous zone which threatened an immediate expulsion of juicy goodness.

Playfully taking the hint, Kurt trailed his tongue up Blaine’s body until he found a nipple. Drawing himself to his full height eased a hand to the back of Blaine’s head gently urging it forward. Noses bumping up to another again, once more lips touched. Tentative and playful his tongue searched until his charming husband reciprocated. 

Desirous of more, Blaine groaned as he pushed Kurt away. Throwing his face at those pouty lips, he sucked for a long moment as he maneuvered his sexy husband into the bedroom. With a quick shove, he tossed Kurt to the mattress and then threw himself on top of him. An hour and twenty minutes later a drop of moisture fell onto Blaine’s sweaty chest. Head pushed back against a pillow he delighted in the manner in which Kurt scratched the insatiable itch he felt all week. Fighting to keep control of a growing need, he reached to grip his scrotum and abruptly paused when Kurt pressed his lips into Blaine’s causing a burst of excitement. A think tongue lunged into his mouth extenuating the thrusts deep inside. The tempo increased and then the man on top made a suddenly hard plunge accompanied by a grunting squeal. Pressing his lips greedily into his lover’s, Blaine let all his inhibitions go. Toes curling a long stream of warn liquid splashed up against Kurt’s chest. 

Gently kissing Kurt down from his moment of exaltation, Blaine reveled in the lingering sensation that madness left in him. With their lips and nose pressed right, the pounding in Blaine’s chest began to hurt. Drawing his head back so he could draw in a much needed breath, a drop of thick gooey liquid fell onto Blaine’s chest. Giggling into Kurt’s mouth, Blaine gently butted Kurt’s lips away by pushing up with his nose. Kurt tucked his chin down to his chest and rolled his eyes. He softly chuckled when another strand of goo gave way and fell. Arching his back, Kurt smiled down at Blaine. 

Gently extracting himself from his husband, Kurt lowering Blaine’s legs while kissed his way down a calf to the thigh. Suddenly, Blaine grunted when Kurt’s full weight squished down on top of him. In respond the curly headed teen wrapped his arms around Kurt pulling him into deep, passionate kiss. Tongues dug into their months and lips squished around and rubbed across five o’clock shadow. Hands roamed down Kurt’s sweaty back finding his buttocks. Two fingers wondered down into his crack causing Kurt to press his ass up like a cat. 

Separating from Blaine’s blood enriched lips, Kurt hovered half an inch from the other boy’s mouth. His eyes closed, and his head arched up ever so slightly to the left. Taking advantage of the moment, Blaine playfully bit Kurt’s chin followed by several kisses down the side of his neck. 

The man on top shifted and Blaine released his bear hug. Ecstatically pleased, he enjoyed the sensation of Kurt rolling off him and to his side. Tuffs of hair pressed into his ear as lips touched his cheek and then a head came to rest on his chest. Two fingers stroked sweat soaked hair and the smear of drying cream spread across his chest. The skin prickled suddenly when a finger hit the sensitive zone just above his hip and below the stomach at the joint. A wild shiver rocked his body making him smile. 

Laying his hand flat on his husband’s stomach, it rose and fell as Blaine’s heart settled. With the end of the animalist emotions settled into reality. He needed the grounding only his darling husband could bring to him. Cousins spent hours talking. Kurt and Blaine spent hours talking late at night. During all this talking Blaine felt the conflict within himself he had not voiced to the man he loved. Now it all washed away giving him a clarity he missed. 

Blaine enjoyed the moment of utter peace which followed sex. With a lusty twinkle accented the love in Blaine’s eyes. “You’re incredible.”

Moving his head so he can see the face of the man he leaned against, Kurt huskily whispered, “Oh, my.”

Rolling over so he faced his lover, Blaine kissed the tip of a pointy nose. In a soft, even shaking voice he whispered, “I missed you.”

Lost within his remembrances an old man felt a jolt of prickling race up his left arm as sweat beaded on his forehead. Closing his eyes, he fought to keep the words in his head in one piece allowing mental cinema he enjoyed to continued with a brief flicker as if the electricity failed. The room spun, and his vision blurred. Passing as quickly as it showed itself, if left old Blaine feeling as if his world had gone sideway. 

Why now? Feeling his age, elderly Blaine panted as he tried to steady his heart. The discomfort in his chest intensified with each breath leaving him blinking back tears. His love called to him from wherever death had taken him, but Blaine want to relive all he could. Love demanded it.

Somewhere within the surge of pain, Blaine’s failing brain settled on youth words as he recalled his charming husband leaning in and kissing him. Kurt’s soft words echoes within the caverns of his mind when the handsome man said, “I so happy you’re home.” 

“I can tell,” The three simple words seemed faded as a second dreadful pulse raking a wrinkled body. 

Smiling, Kurt stated, “A few times when I heard your sweet voice, Mr. Hand got excited.”

“Not too excited by the way you went at me.” A sentence carried so much for a dying man and the things he recollected about his long life. 

“I scolded Mr. Hand telling him to behave until a certain someone got home.”

“A certain someone is very pleased Mr. Hand paid attention. That certain someone is very, very, very pleased.”

“That certain someone is very, very, very loved.”

“That certain someone shares that love with another certain someone.”

Throwing himself at his husband, Kurt kissed him not with the lust of longing but with the tenderness of deep rooted love. Deft fingers zeroed in on a place beneath Blaine’s arm close to his shoulder causing him to jump. The body coiled up into a ball as he tried to push Kurt away, but they only ended up laughing as a full on tickling match ensued. Within memories of a long life, two young men rolled about giggling even though the muscles in his arms and back bunched up. Drawing in a shallow breath, and old man wanted to see what he came next. Overcoming the storm of pain washing through his nerves proved difficult but somehow, he saw Kurt’s lips mouth an single word—What?

Guilt struck and then Blaine, old and young sighed. Closing his eyes, and old man whispered the short sentence he muttered back then, “Can I be honest?”

Clarity flashed within an ailing mind and Kurt’s brows scrunched together. “Did you . . .?”

“Kurt, god no. Never again.” Young Blaine’s voice came out at higher pitch sending a spike of pain into a damaged heart. Never again rang true within his soul.

Staring at those wide puppy eyes, Kurt looked concerned, “Then what?”

“Snuggle next to me.” Blaine almost pleaded as his heart pounded in his chest. It translated into deep chips within ailing heart causing an old man to cringe.

“Okay.” Kurt settled next to his husband allowing an arm to fall on his back. “Please, tell me.”

Frowning at himself, closed his eyes. “Your brooding husband’s been . . .”

Tracing a finger along a nipple, Kurt stated, “Brooding.”

“Yeah.” Blaine took the finger playing with an excited nipple in his hand and held it. “Things have been so crazy and I’m feeling . . . well . . . stretched . . .”

“What do you mean?” Kurt murmured.

Noticing the look those blue eyes, Blaine’s chest tightened. For a second he regretted voicing himself, but the he opened the dam and he had to go with the flow. With a sigh, he responded, “I love you so much, but we barely see each other any more. Sometimes I feel like were ships passing in the night.”

Blinking, Kurt lifted his head, so he could see his partner’s face. Worry etched lines in his brow and then he said in a low tone, “I know what you mean. I miss you so much at times, I turn a corner at school and hear laugher and sometimes I think it you.”

“What do we do about it?” Blaine’s question came out a bit flat.

“First, round two and . . .” The words spirally into agony crushing a heavy chest even though an old man felt strangely renewed.


	39. The Plan

The vision of a body arched up into the air caused an old man to curl his legs up closer to his body. The pain forced a drop of salty water ran down the side of this face and then he breathed easier. The meanderings of his mind became lost so much within the sharp sparks radiating out from an unsteady heart and the worst had passed. Awareness felt the eternal darkness edge ever closer leaving a faint hint of dread in the back of a frail mind. It slithered like a snake in oil coiled and ready to strike, yet something held it back. The body did not like the gloom hovering like a waiting vulture. Sentiment wailed against what the gloom represented as it grasped for whatever it could. 

Hands crushed together as two people ran across the street while rain pelted down on them burst into awareness and then faded into black. Two children playing on the carpet while two men leaned against each other half asleep came and went just as fast. Dinner with friends where an argument took center stage. Two women went at it and others fondly shook their heads. Later the two women talked civilly to only to have their fleeting moment of peace splash against the rocks to become nothing.

Some part of the mind reached deep for a life raft to protect itself. It found what it sought when a short intake of air swirled the ebbing fog revealing the dim limits of a room. Large with a high ceiling, a bar ran its full length at waist height on two sides in front of a mirrored walls. The ends of the vast room consisted of huge arching windows reaching from the floor to the ceiling. A set of double doors occupying the space on the west side of the room next to the glass art at each end. Three rows of boring lights ran its length illuminating a pile of mats and one end and the other a baby grand piano in the other. The hardwood floor had seen better days.

The misty shadows seemed to hold the spinning body in light fingers giving and elderly man a thrill. Toes pointed, the right foot lightly landed on the matt and then momentum twirled the moving form to the left. Muscle flexed beneath clothing as beads of sweat rolled down a translucent face and bare arms. A young body stilled itself as the arms went out wide a leg went straight back. The human hung there like a religious symbol.

A fond smile stretched weary lips. Old Blaine had all but forgotten how much he enjoyed dancing in bare feet. It spoke of long lost youth and one of the loves of his life. 

Arms going up, the left leg swung around to the front completing a half circle. Flat on the matt, the right for moved ever so slightly as thick legs held the body firmly in place.

Oh, the flexibly and strength of his formative years. He missed it.

Torso swooping down toward the floor at the same time the left leg circled backward. When the toes touched the floor, the right leg bent to balance his weight. Hazel eyes circled to the right spotting a heavenly sight staring him in the face. His delectable husband did a similar move allowing shimmering hazel to gaze at the beautiful view of tight shorts covering a fine ass. Ten other students completed the complicated dance routine ending what Blaine considered his favourite part. In all his years he never tired of that sight. Yes, events strained emotion at times, a playful man would find himself cupping those two half melons. 

The music swelled, and motion captured the student at the far end of the line. One by one, the dancers kicked off with their extended leg lifting the bodies just enough to create a half spin which would make them face forward. Ducking down again so their chest pressed against the left thigh with their arms spread wide and back, three women walked on the toes around three men in the center in long and graceful strides. The moment Blaine’s turn came, he pulled his left foot away in an arc creating momentum. A very female form blocked the vision of his husband two spaces over as she completed her last stride. One arm raised over her head, the young woman swooned down onto Kurt’s right thigh and leaned in close. Her head resting on Kurt’s should facing his neck, she breathed in his ear with a naughty grin on her face. 

Aged eyes rolled and then a smile spread dry lips. Stacey represented one of many, but never a threat. Throughout his life women and men threw themselves at Kurt even though the ring permanently occupied his place of honour on his finger. It started in school with a friend and continued in Hollywood sounds stages and the New York public library. Kurt had that boyish charm which remained with him until a few minutes ago. An adoring husband had never and would never forget the affect the man had on him. 

The teacher started clapping before the music ended and students started to rise. Slowly Stacey stood and offered Kurt a hand to helped him up. Briefly smiling, blue eyes sought hazel and a Blaine returned that sexy half smirk. The lean, long-haired blond hovered over Kurt until he rose without assistance and stepped toward his husband. Her face screwed up when as a left hand effortlessly found someone else's right.

“That was excellent,” Robert D’lairé, NYADA’s premiere dance instructor strolled around the perimeter applauding. 

Blaine, young and old, drooled. The tall, handsome man looked to be in his thirties but, in reality, he almost pushed fifty. Incredibly flexible and fit, his thirty-five years of dancing put his young students to shame. On many occasions he and Kurt walked into him in this very room to find a shirtless Robert going through a routine. They would both sigh and then chuckle. Born in Quebec, his deep French accent influenced everyone including a young married couple. Devoutly devoted to his equally talented wife and his three children ruled his life, Blaine could only hope he could match the man when it came to his own family.

“Mr. D’lairé,” one of the male students put his hands up. “The second movement where we exchange partners is still confusing. Can we go through it again?”

Nodding, Mr. D’lairé ran his fingers through his thick hair and the light flashed off his wedding ring. Smiling he said, “When I first went through this routine I feel flat on my face.”

Some of the students laughed.

The chuckling did not stop the instructor from going on. “You have been at it for a couple of days and you are doing so well. Take a ten-minute break and then we’ll looked at it in depth.”

The class broke up as students sought water, towels and somewhere to sit. Stacey tried to steer Kurt one-way with little luck. Sauntering over to the window there their bags rested against the wall, Blaine glanced back to see his husband trotting to catch up with him. Smiling as he stooped down he picked up a towel and wiped his face, Blaine smiled when Kurt appeared beside him. The delightful young man bent down to collect the water bottles as Blaine watched through the corner of his eye. Smirking, he found himself understanding why Stacey would find the man attractive. He certainly did. 

After handing Blaine a bottle, Kurt screwed the top of his and commented, “I like this piece. It flows nicely.”

“I’m certainly enjoying it,” Blaine winked before taking swig of his water.

“Stacey’s enjoying it a bit too much,” Kurt grumbled after he swallowed. With a small white cloth, he dabbed his forehead.

“She has a crush on you.”

“Yeah, right.”

“You should be flattered.”

“I happen to have crush on someone who has the right pieces between the legs.” Kurt’s voice went lower as his thought rolled out. An old man remembered he never really lost that endearing trait.

Smiling, Blaine leaned over to steak his claim for all to see by kissing his life partner. Smiling as he pulled back he said with an impish tone, “Its kind of cute. You have a groupie.”

Kurt drank some more as he rolled his eyes in that Kurt way. “I’m just too damned famous.”

Blaine grinned. “When the world realizes what I already do, you’re going to have to get used to photographers at ever corner and people trying to get pictures of you peeing.”

Almost choking on his drink, Kurt gave his life partner an annoyed look. 

Snickering, an old man enjoyed the bantering conversation until they had to take their spots again. While Kurt and Stacey had the leads this time, Robert selected different principals for each new dance to give all his student the chance to be in the spot light. Kurt and Blaine danced the leads in Swan Lake.

Old Blaine remembered struggling with ballet, even as Kurt excelled. As his strong arms lifted his husband in the air it reminded Blaine of Peter Pan flying over a stage filled with aging actors. He relished spending half an hour helping his excited fiancé gluing cloth leaves to a green outfit. The look on his face when he poked his head between the curtains to see Blaine and friends waving back at him, found a place in his heart. 

Volunteering at the retirement homemade Kurt happy and a happy Kurt made Blaine beam. They started a new life together in a huge city hoping the past lay behind them. Well, both men had no idea what would come of their hope and then one rainy day the dream fell apart. Swallowing, the ache in an old heart came from remembering one of the lowest moments in his life. Drawing in a deep breath, old eyes blinked, and he forced the world within his mind of shift.

“You want to go to Trudy’s?” The question echoed within the spiral of night seeking everlasting dominion over a frail life.

The reminiscence caused an old man to look at his wrist as if he wore a watch. Back in time, his younger self did just that before answering, “We’re got time. Next class is at one thirty.”

“I’ve been drying for their empire salad,” Kurt’s young voice almost became lost within the agony of a squeezing heart.

Faint of hearing did not affect the reply the old man heard in his head. The memory of his young voice soothed. “I could go for a burger, but I have to keep an eye on my weight.”

“You’re looking fine.”

“I can pack it on if I let myself go.”

“What you really need to do is to keep away from the pastries and doughnuts when you’re upset.”

“I love sugar, but it does not love me.”

Kurt wrapped his hand around Blaine’s arm and circling down to the next level. Playfully pulled at one another as they made the turn, they passed a gaggle of first year students. From a few steps down, they looked over the lofty lobby where lunch brought a crush of students headed toward the door. A familiar figure stood out within the crowd net to the elevator holding court. Returning to NYADA after her success in Fanny and her embarrassing television show, Rachel enthusiastically challenged many courses receiving credit for some. Constantly reminding people of what she had achieved and where she wanted to go, a detractor challenged her one afternoon. Kurt told Blaine while lingering around the café counter, but Kurt being Kurt, forgot Rachel sat next to him, or did he? 

An old man giggled, and the motion caused the pain to pump in his chest. The lobby collapsed into the dream leaving the body writhing with the after effects. Eyes slammed shut in a feeble attempt to still the increasing distress. Lasting only a few erratic beats, the clouds swirls into a vortex leaving him lightheaded. Giving into his pain, the images of his mind floated around bringing little things to the surface. Rain flooded the street as two men stood on the stairs watching a river run down Fourty First while they held their children’s hands. A birthday with nine candles and a child bringing her first boyfriend home to meet her famous dads folded in on each other. The shock of two fathers when they caught their son playing with the captain of the school baseball team.

Within the morass of jumbled visions on stuck. Crisp and clear he clung onto the memory and the anxieties he body endured settled back to numbness. Drawing in one, large and surprisingly easy breath, an aged man found himself conjuring up events attached to his last coherent thought. Ending a frustrating time involving a terrible argument, they spent a good chunk of August at a Lake of the Woods in western Ontario finding themselves again. A congressman, who demanded going back to his roots of fishing as a break from the bullshit of public life, arranged everything. A member of the Canadian Parliament he befriended during bilateral meetings said he could use his cottage while he traveled to Europe with his family. Three weeks without the Internet started as a disaster for Kurt but soon became a godsend,

The cottage ended up to an eighteen-hundred square foot log cabin with full facilities, hot tub and solar panels. Two rambunctious young and horny men shared a small one-bedroom loft outbuilding close to the dock complete with a private porch facing the lake looking west. Lying in bed wrapped in each other arms, they would stare out a triangular wall of glass at the water. At night the they sat outside large plush chair watching the purple sunset drinking wine snacking on cheese and crackers.

Days of sitting on the rocks on a cliff overlooking the water and the joys of just being with each other healed the tensions between them. Tender evenings of going to bed without exhaustion quenched a thirst which haunted them those long days of hard work. Yes, the year had stretched them, and both discussed the year ahead to ensure they would come out the other end stronger and whole. Blaine’s third year would prove easier and emotionally fulfilling.

It did not surprise anyone when Cooper showed up in the middle of the second week catching a ride with Burt in the boat he rented. Buoyed by his role in a new film, an obnoxious brother kept them captivated by his need to tell the usual tale—the Days of His Life. Picking on his brother with his usual flourish he made Burt and Carole laugh while Pam chided. Cooper wound on the couch in the cottage after Kurt kicked him out the night he arrived. 

The shocked look on Cooper’s turned out to be priceless. At the end of his life, Blaine understood his brother’s excitement because his performance would prove to be his breakout. Cooper proved to be a perfect manic-depressive wingnut neighbour which garnered him a Golden Globe nomination. Blaine felt proud and jealous as he watched Cooper walk down the red carpet on television. With Kurt at his side they commented on the outfits with a bottle close at hand to celebrate. The camera went to Cooper when his name came up and later swooped by him when someone else rose to accept the award.

The disappointment he felt back then translated into abrupt tensing of the chest. Twisting into the darkness of pain, old Blaine growled with the desolation of the moment. Rolling his head to the left weary amber-brown eyes looked up at his departed love. Rolling his eyes, a smile came to his face and then he grimaced with the sudden smashing pain in his chest. Squeezing the finger he loosely held, old Blaine became aware of the ring on Kurt’s finger. It had been there since the day they spoke their vows. Well, all but two times—once, days after their wedding to bind it with a second ring and fourty years later for repairs.

The thought warmed his aching heart even though the muscle played its games as well. Toes spreading wide when the pain reached the bottom of his feet, an old man concentrated on the ring—two made one. The marriage of the two rings symbolized their deep love and undying respect for each other. Feeling lighter, scattered thoughts allowed him to grasp a memory which pointed to couples future.

“Henry, I would like a coffee,” Mrs. Hayes words did not quite come out as a command and then she peeked at her guests. “And you two? Coffee, tea, water, wine, beer?”

“Water would be fine, thank you,” Blaine replied as he shifted on the couch to face the beautiful blond woman. Impeccably dressed in a combination of sexy and business, she looked no more than thirty.

Sitting back so he did not block his husband’s view Kurt stated, “I would love a coffee, black and one sugar.”

“Do we have cookies, Henry?” Mrs. Hayes cheerily asked. 

“I believe a batch came out of the oven. I will go check and then being your drinks.” The average height, wide shouldered man with wonderfully dark Spanish eyes, nodded with a bright smile and then she turned a left. 

“May be so direct as to call you Blaine and Kurt?” Mary asked as he lay an arm nonchalantly across the back of the couch. “We’re an informal lot here, so please call me Mary.”

“By all means, Mary,” Kurt smiled to hide his relief.

“I’m told you are both studying at NYADA with you, Blaine, splitting a degree at NYU?”

“Its been a busy ride.”

“I can understand. I went to the Royal College of Music in London. It was hectic and at times I doubted I would make it.”

“Me too.” Blaine admitted with an embarrassed grin.

“You both chose a hard path and I applaud you for it. From what I’ve read, June arranged for you to both have full scholarships. You do realize we do not offer scholarships.” Mary’s dark blue eyes passing from man to man.

“Yes.” Kurt commented with his head tilted to one side as if he considered something. “We did a little research when we got the notice.”

“Excellent.” Mary shifted on the couch ever so slightly. “Please forgive me for my tardiness, I was speaking to, June. She apologizes for not being here and says she’s doing much better.”

“Has she been ill?” Blaine glanced sat Kurt. His thick brows furrowed and in a reality separated by decades, a wave of pain washed down an old man’s left arm. “Neither of us have spoken to her in over in six months. She’s been traveling.”

“Oh, dear. Please forgive me.” A hand went up to Mary’s chin and the frowned. “She was in Brazil when she had a minor stroke. That was two months ago, and she’s at home recovering.”

“Is she alright?” Young Blaine questioned even as his older counterpart’s fingers balled up into a fist.

Speaking at almost the same time, Kurt said, “We should send a card or drop by.”

“I think she would appreciate if you dropped by.” Adjusting herself on the couch, Mary crossed her legs. “June lost a little mobility and none of her spark. She’s speaking very well, and the mind appears to have suffered very little. She has nothing but praise for the two of you, so I see no reason why we can’t get things started.”

“The last time I spoke to June she told me she was setting up something. I never thought it would be with the Arts Foundation of New York.” Speaking politely did not hide Blaine’s excitement.

“June and her husband Jacob were two of the founders fourty-three years ago. She continues to be on the board and acts as our ambassador to the world.” Mary glanced toward the door. Henry re-entered the carrying a ceramic tray with a china plate holding a dozen cookies, cups, a tall glass of water, delicate china coffee craft, cream and sugar. Holding his back straight, three cloth napkins folded over his forearm.

“White chocolate chip macadamia nut, fresh from the over ten minutes ago.” Henry smiled as he put the tray down followed by the napkins. “Would you like lime or lemon, Blaine?”

“Lime, thank you.” Blaine offered the man a smile and a nod. 

The handsome man used tongs to pick a lime wedge from a small glass bowl and gently released it into the water before handing the crystal glass to Blaine. 

Blaine took the glance with a smile. “Thank you, Henry.”

“You’re welcome,” Henry nodded and then poured steaming dark liquid into two fine china cups sitting on saucers. Picking one up, he handed it to Kurt and then Mary. Afterward he stepped back a couple of paces with his hands behind his back.

“I think I have it in hand, thank you Henry. Tell Ted I’ll call when we are ready for the contracts.” Mary picked up one of the cookies and took a bite before glancing at the two young men. “Please before the cool off.”

Taking a napkin Blaine leaned forward, picked up a cookie and placed in on the napkin. Offering it to Kurt, his husband shook his head. Speaking to Henry, Blaine said, “If you have some fruit, Kurt would be happy.”

“I will see what I can stir up,” Henry smiled and then left the room.

“He’s a good man,” Kurt stated as he watched the assistant pause in the door as if listening and turned into the hall. 

“He makes a killer latté.” Mary took a small bite of a cookie and smiled. “Now, to business. We at the AFNY focus on helping artist, such as yourselves, to reach their goals. We work with various established production companies and experts who will help you plan, but not execute your dream. Financial support is provided in the form of grants or a cost sharing agreement depending on what your ambitions are.” 

Kurt glanced at his partner and they both nodded.

“Your bio tells me you’re involved in theatre and music.” Mary went on seeing there would be no rebuttal, “I don’t know if you remember but I was at your showcase, Blaine.”

The young man blinked. 

“I was there with my husband. I can say I was impressed with the both of you. June has excellent taste.” Mary commented and then sipped her coffee again.

Squinting, Kurt leaned forward and then pulled back suddenly. “Your husband is director Malcolm Hayes and you were a redhead.”

“A phase Malcolm liked.” One of Mary’s eyebrows shot up a couple of times. “We have been to a few of June’s showcases. I have to admit I have rarely witness June being humbled like that before.”

“I’m assuming the fact you were at my showcase has a bearing on why your interviewing us?” Blaine asked and then he immediately resented the comment.

“I can see your apprehension Blaine and it’s understanding under the circumstances. June is a member of the board and she is a strong sense of what she feels is right and wrong.” Putting her almost empty coffee down. “I hope there will be no issues.”

Hazel and blue met as Blaine turned to get a glimpse of his husband. The directness of his words surprised young Blaine as did the truth they garnered. He had always known his husband to be direct in a shy manner but that day he revealed a business side Blaine had not expected. He spoke in absolutes and Blaine in abstracts which oddly complimented each other. As the years passed this combination would prove important and frustrating.


	40. So What’s Next?

A haggard breath helped the blackness encroach on his thoughts where a shadowy form weaved through a misty crowd calling out names. The voice touched a nerve and for a second a numbed mind saw the face with a lustfully evil grin it. Something inside recoiled from the snake threatening the apple hanging from his tree. A rippled rolled up an old man’s back and his eyes squeezed tight. A soiled hand reached for him in the dark and an old man doubled over in pain. Thoughts shattered, and everything flew away into the dim except a tiny thread. Fingers scrapped across his palms and his toes curled up in the slippers keeping his feet worm. Pushing his head into the hand it lay one, for a brief second it felt as if his chest would explode.

A breeze crossed his brow where there should be none leaving a sense of something pressing against his forehead. The body shivered with the vile repugnance it sensed yet that thin thread rooted the soul in a place of protection. Death had come? No, this felt worse. The sins of life ate away at life, yet who determined what a sin might be? Only two people could and one of them absolved him long ago. The other languished in the place somewhere between tick and tock hanging by a strand of love. The gloom of everlasting darkness hovered close by seething at its inability to conquer life. Off in the distance a tarot turned face up.

Out of the blue it all ended as if someone drew the drapes back letting the morning sun in. Washing over the old man, Blaine realized a ray of heavenly brightness traced a line across the living room floor and up his body. The head automatically lifted allowing the warmth to touch wrinkled skin. Through the large pane of glass next to a stack of packing containers, the towers of the city came into view. He loved New York even if it became an overcrowded island the government sacrificed to the relentless sea. The tall buildings had stood as a testament to human’s stand against nature and as well as a symbol to their stupidity. Thus, an aged man strove for one final masterpiece before his frailty stopped him. Meant to be a reminder of what they had lost and how they got there, it played in theatres around the world to sold out crowds. His grandson Phillip, who took care of the aged couples affairs, talked to a producer who wanted to make a movie out of it. When his mind grasped the extent of the offer, pride swept an old man who felt the new sense of entitlement squandered the lessons of the past.

When the authorities ordered them to move, he got him so upset it put him in hospital for a few days. Just thinking of it cause the pumping in his chest to reach beyond the constant pain he found himself becoming accustomed to. Compelling himself away from the edge, his head fell on the hand of the man he loved. Closing his eyes, something told him Mary’s arrival hit a snag and he felt relieved. He loved Mary, yet she would not understand that the things he saw made the agony worth it.

Selfishness touched him and weary eyes flickered closed. In that instant he felt strong love drawing him away from reality. Foggy elevator doors opened to reveal a colourfully painted and decorated antechamber flooded by strands of bright exterior light. Tall palms grew out of large pots set against large, round panes of glass set into a slightly angled exterior wall. The faint hint of jasmine drifted breeze produced by the air-conditioning. Off to the right, in a curving alcove in the center of the long seating area, sat a baby grand piano. A man in his fourties dressed in black tie playing a classical piece. A staff member walked through on of two sets of double doors partially hidden by two decorative screens a few yards from the piano.

A woman stepped out from behind a counter and cheerful greeted the two men garbed in their best suits. Exchanging a few words, the elegantly attired woman took then to the right and up a set of stairs to an upper curving balcony. Looking over the main floor and out across Columbus Circle to Central Park, it provided a specular view of the night skyline. Here they found individual, circular mini-rooms separated by high privacy walls. Three people enjoying a spirited conversation occupied the one at the top of the stairs. Three middle aged couples occupied the second and the third remained empty. The elderly gentleman occupying the fourth impatiently looked at his watch in the third. Two staff members cleared the table of number five while talking quietly to each other. The party stopped at the sixth, where the hostess signaled the two men should enter. A table set for four stood in the center of a small round room which provided enough space to walk around the outside with ease.

“There you are,” Rachel pounced as she threw her arms about Blaine giving him a kiss on the cheek.  
Radiant and tanned, she looked every part a star in flowing purple with a new set of diamond earrings and matching necklace.

“Rachel was about to call Santana and sick her on you.” Jesse gave his wife a playful look.

That got him a dirty look.

Snickering at his wife, Jesse stepped around the table from the opposite side. Offered Kurt a hand he pulled him into a hug. Puzzled at first, Kurt relaxed into the emotional greeting with a large smile.

“How was the honeymoon?” Blaine sounded excited as the stepped back and bumped into Jesse who reached out with an arm to grasp him. Rachel twirled around him and then threw herself at Kurt with an excited squeal.

Drawing Blaine into a firm hug, Jesse said, “You have to go to Jamaica.”

“The water is so clear and blue. Its amazing.” Rachel added still holding onto her best friend. Suddenly her brows crinkled together, and she stepped back. “But, you my friend, would need to shower in sun screen.”

The four laughed as they separated and sat. Each couple pulled their chairs closer together across the table from one other with the arched entrance marking the halfway point.

“You two look fabulous,” Kurt pointed out and then he looked to the mans sitting beside him. “Three weeks in the sun took that ghostly look from you Rachel.”

“Ha, ha, look who talking porcelain,” Rachel shot back with a fond grin.

Chuckling Blaine to his lover’s hand and squeezed it before saying, “I remember the feeling of being newly married.”

“It is something you never forget,” Rachel fondly smiled at Jesse.

“Yes.” Kurt leaned in and two men kissed. “It was heaven.”

Blaine smiled at Kurt blowing him a kiss.

“Still so much in love after all this time.” Rachel cooed with a beaming face.

“You could only be so lucky?” Kurt playfully shot back with a wink at the man he loved.

“Kids?” Jesse warned and then shook his head. In a quiet tone he added, “I know what you mean, Blaine. Marriage changes you.”

“For the better, I hope?” Rachel stared at her husband with adoring eyes.

“Very definitely for the better.’ Jesse kissed her hand.

Rachel kissed her husband. “You’re so sweet.”

Across the table Blaine felt Kurt choke up and his right hand pressed in on his left. He glanced at him with loving eyes. Leaning in, he whispered to the man he loved, “Finn would have wanted Rachel to move on.”

Two young men stared at each other and Kurt nodded. Deep down a husband wished he shared a table with brother and Blaine knew it. Emotion swelled within his lover the day of the wedding and Blaine ended held him as his husband cried. Similarly, best friends and old show tune rivals shared a long cry a few days earlier. Rachel felt guilty and Kurt simply asked is she loved Jesse. Days later two dads walked their daughter down the aisle in the flowing white dress Kurt designed. Standing next to the officiate the look on Jesse’s face told the story. No one thought anything of Blaine and Kurt standing up for Rachel, but Santana’s presence surprised. A half orchestra provided the music for the ceremony taking place in a beautifully adorned Broadway theatre.

The arrival of a beautiful waitress with a bottle of champagne broke up an emotionally awkward moment. The older teenager trotted along behind her carrying a wine chiller on a stand. Soon a cork popped followed by bubbly liquid filling tall flutes preceded a toast. Rising his glass, Kurt swallowed and then announced, “To the happy couple. May you always find happiness and love.”

“Here, here,” Jesse pronounced with pride.

Giving him a look, Rachel’s nose wrinkled and then the raised her glass. “To both happy couples.”

Three sets of male eyes caught one another then the glassy chiming of flutes touched punctuated the silence. Hazel eyes studied the man beside him as Blaine recalled the night of their wedding. Pressure from two brides led to a wonderful moment where two men finally accepted their fears. Sometimes he wished they could have enjoyed the nuptials they planned and if he had the chance would he go back? No. The way everything worked forced them to deal with their left-over crap and for that he would forever be grateful.

The old man pondered this for a little while long as the pain in his chest irregularly rose and fell. Then a sharp pain wiped it all away and the memory he viewed shifted. With a little effort he found his focus again and a circular room returned to his thoughts. The remains of the main course littered white china plates and a second bottle of wine sat half empty on the table. Four friends sat back enjoying the moment while they listened to Rachel talk about the honeymoon.

“It was would not believe how warm it was.” She droned on as she picked at a lonely chunk of potato on her plate. “You can see all the way to the bottom and see the fish swimming about.”

“And we had not even gotten out of bed yet,” Jesse added with a smile.

Swatting her husband, Rachel rolled her eyes, “You would think of that.”

“Why not,” Jesse looked toward Blaine and Kurt. “I bet they didn’t get out of bed.”

Kurt blushed, and Blaine merely grinned from ear to ear.

“Men?’ Rachel shook her head. “There was more to do on a honeymoon than just that.”

“I happen to like just that.” Jesse winked.

Ignoring Jesse even though she took his hand, Rachel added, “Swimming with the fish was magnificent. We dined on fresh seafood every night and laid around on the beach by day. We para-surfed and went on a day long sailboat cruise.”

Jesse purred. “And you looked so damned sexy in the that bikini.”

Lightly smacking her husband across the thigh, Rachel looked to Kurt.

Making a face and shrugging, Kurt responded, “Don’t look at me. I have to agree with Jesse.”

Brow pushing together, Rachel peeked at Blaine for support.

“Sorry, Rachel. I have to say, the bed won out.” Blaine’s head feel to his face. “Did you want me to lie?”

“Lie!” Rachel looked put out.

“Dear,” Jesse placed a hand on Rachel’s shoulder with an impish grin. “I could have stayed in the arms of my beautiful wife forever adoring you.”

Rollin her eyes, Rachel leaned into Jesse and the two kissed. More than just a peck, Blaine looked to Kurt who glanced back. Both men shrugged.

“Are we making you nervous?” Rachel’s broke the silence.

Half of Blaine’s face lifted into a smirk as he spoke. Hazel eyes sparkled with mischief. “How many times have you had to endure the two of us kissing.”

“More than I can count,” Rachel bluntly replied with a straight face which turned into a sweet smile.

“It’s catch up time,” Jesse joked.

“So, is this a contest?” Kurt’s eyebrows went up and down several times.

Giving Rachel a sideways look, Blaine added, “We could spot you a few hundred.”

“Do you really expect me to . . . no . . . I am not going there.” Rachel finished off her wine and then held it out for Jesse to top up.

Sharing the last of the bottle out between the four of them, Jesse looked content. Light hearted banter and good company made it for a perfect evening.

“So, what’s next? A family?” Kurt’s face dropped as if he suddenly realized what he has said. Noting Blaine, he recognized that look. Seven months later Rachel happily started to show and, even though the bliss would not last, the four of them rivaled in the idea.

Looking at his life from the viewpoint of this simple memory, Blaine had no real regrets, well, perhaps one. The mere inkling of it made him feel ashamed and the discomfort in his chest rose. Not the pain of a frail heart it stemmed from a recollection he wished he could undo. Could he forgive himself now that his life slid down that last slope toward endless sleep? Sorrowful eyes looked up to a handsome face and then he sighed. Part of him screamed to let the it all go even as another urged his mind to relive it.

 

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**Here is the point where the story picks up at the midway point of Chapter 11 in Love Cycle (Part 1) where you will find a notification about the halfway point.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, it is my intent consolidate part 1 and 2 into one volume.
> 
> Thank you for ready and I hope you enjoyed my offering.


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